Selfish?

I am childless by choice. My hubby and I never wanted any. Not because we don't like them but because we have other things in our lives that we prefer to do than changing diapers. I too have nieces and nephews and they are good enough for me and after a day I can return them! I think far too many people have kids because they feel they have to not because they want to. I wish more people would think it through before popping out unwanted kids. So I think you are a smart person.

Not wanting to have children of your own does not make you selfish or a bad person. There are many people in this world who choose not to have children for a number of reasons and it's really not anyone's business but yours. You may change your mind one day or you may not but it's a personal preference that in no way determines your character.

I don't think not wanting children means selfishness. Its a choice people have. Its also unkind for someone to say something like that. When you decide to have children then you can have them. Don't pay attention to out of place people like that.

He sounds selfish himself in the fact that he: #1 Wants to talk you into doing something you aren't ready for. #2 At 55 and just recently had his first child, why isn't he with the baby's mother? Could be the pattern of a new start....sowing his royal oats? I would not consider not having children selfish. If one decided to have them, I hope their finances are in order.

The next time you see this man. Ask him how many Nun's does he know that has children? That will get him. As for you being slfish no. I didn't have my son until I was 29. There were times I wished I never had mine maybe twice. But you know you are there for your sisters kids. I have 7 cousins that don't have kids. One wanted kids but couldn't have them. The others didn't want kids. And are all happy. So he is a nut job. lol

That man ought to keep his mouth shut. Having kids is a responsibility I take very very seriously. Although one is never truly totally ready for kids--I would like to think that I will not have them before some sort of financial stability is there. For how can you take responsibility for someone else's life when you can't even hardly provide for your own?

i don't think that not wanting to have a child make you a selfish and bad person... how if we can't conceive at all and our age doesn't allowed us to have chidlren anymore??? i know many great women out there who didn't have children but they are a great 'mother' to other children who are not theirs... take care and have a nice day...

First and foremost, stop justifying your actions to anybody…you should never justify yourself to a person until and unless that person is very special and then also till a certain extent. You are answerable only to yourself and to your creator (if you are a believer i.e). Next, there is a big big difference between being childless by nature and being childless by choice…be proud, be happy and feel lucky that you have been able to assert yourself (millions of women cant, and are reduced to baby-producing machines). Thirdly, women by nature are motherly, they are genetically wired to nurture, love and care, it doesn’t make a difference if you are a mother or not. Love is to be felt, not produced. PS: and whenever you feel down and out coz of some stupid remark of an equally thick person, come to us

If your living alone and if you think you dont want any child and there is a poin in your saying but when your married to some one and when your hubby is intrested to have kids with you.. you have to listen him or you have speak mutually to sort out the problem srather than discussing whether your selfish or not, i dont think your a selfish women but i seriously something is hindering you from having childeren.. are you afraid of pregrancny or delivary,labour pain anything like that? when i was commited to my guy i said we will adopt childeren he then asked my problem i spoke that i have seen my sister's enduring pain and i cant stand that.. he then spoke to me and councelled me and now im okie for everything.. if this is your problem you can speak out this to your hubby so that he can councell you or to anyone who can fetch you a solution . If this is not your problem then speak to our hubby that you dont need kid at all and be generous by helping him getting a child by adopting if he wants let it be your nephwes or neiece or any orphan..!!!

i don't want to have my children birth by a ugly women.i want my child more beautiful or handsome and more clever.i don't want to see my child that so ugly he is. i love them ,so i want them more excellent than me.i love my children.but i don't have them now. because my wife isn't beautiful and very scrubby.i want to find another beautiful women to birth me a child.

I am personally on the fence with wanting to have children or not. I have often been told as well that I am too selfish to have children. I agree with them in some aspects, I am a very selfish person and I will be the first to admit that. I am only 26 though and where I am in my life right now I am not financially stable enough to think about bringing a child into this world. So right now I do not want to have children. Down the road it could change but deep in my heart I feel like it might not. Does that make me a bad person? Does it make you a bad person that you don't want to have children either? Not at all! There are MANY people in the world that have not had children and have no intentions to. I don't see anything wrong with not having children. There are enough people in this world having children when they shouldn't so it's not like we're going to have a population shortage any time soon if some of us women do not have kids. That is ridiculous what the man said to you about women being meant to have children. His mind definitely still resides in the olden days where that was all men viewed women as. Was this a man you knew personally or just someone you met in passing? You shouldn't worry what other people say or have that have any effect on your decision to have children. You go with what you feel in your heart and you will always come out on top. :o)

Just because you don't want children doesn't make you selfish. I mean, you know what's best for you. If you feel like you don't want to have kids, that's fine. This man has no right to tell you want to do, as you are the one who is having kids, not him. He doesn't know what you're going through, and everyone's situation is different.

yeah i absolutely agree with your point if you dont want children dont have them that would be more selfish than anything. And can i just say i think the man that told you is being more selfish for just having a child when he is 55 didnt he take the time to think that when the child was getting picked up from school he would be more like its grandfather than dad??? Plus you do have to take the childs feeling into account. I dont thikn there is anything wrong with the decision you have made x

1st of all, like others, I will also tell you that it's you and you only who'll take the decision. Relatives and well wishers may suggest you but can't imposed upon you their thoughts. Now regarding selfishness, don't listen to others. Do you think yourself, without being influenced by others, a selfish? If necessary go for little soul searching and make yourself clear to yourself. Having a child or not having a child doesn't make a person good/bad or selfish or unselfish. It's your consciousness that'll tell you whether your decision is justified or not. So, friend, look at yourself. Don't bother what other people say about your decision, if you are happy with your decision, everything is ok. Just ignore those who calls you bad and selfish. But let your consciousness support your decision. Of course, we are here to support you. Best of luck.

At first I wanted some and then I got my step daughters for about 19 months and well I and or we decided we didn't want any of our own together. My sister said I could go by having my step daughters and having your own was different and peeps was saying I should have one and on and on they went. But nope not us. So no you are not selfish and no you are not a bad person. I have nieces and a nephew and my husbands daughters had kids when they were 16 so I have grand kids as well and I love em all and thats plenty for me.

I think it takes an honest person to admit that they don't want to raise kids. It's not for everyone and it is far more selfish to have them and not provide them with all the things that kids need to grow up healthy and strong. If you know that you don't have the ability or will to do that, then you are very wise to not give in to social pressure. I have friends who remained child free all their lives and they were quite happy with their decision. Good luck to you and don't listen to anyone who says otherwise.

I do not think you are selfish, not everyone wants to have kids, doesn't mean they are a bad person or that they don't like kids. I myself have two daughters, my sister has none, and believe me she is just fine with that. She is high maintenance and is not the mommy type. I think he was selfish at having one that late in life, ok ok I know I'll catch flack for that one, but come on, he'll be 74 when his kid is graduating high school, for that child, it'll be like having his grandparent there, because face it, most of his friends' grandparents will be there and the same age as his dad. I have one daughter that has 2 'children' her dogs, and that is how she wants it, my other daughter has a daughter that is 5 months old, and I'll admit I wish she had waited a bit longer, but I always knew she would have children. So to each their own, there is no law that says you have to have children

I do not want children either and I have been saying I don't want kids since I was a kid myself like 10-12 years old. I do not think it is selfish. it is your life and it is your choice and i agree with you. I think it would be more selfish to have children when you know you don't really want them. I don't think it makes anyone a bad person or selfish. Who cares what he thinks.

I don't think not wanting to have children can make you a selfish bad person. It's your own business . if you born a bady but not treat her well , then that can really make you a bad person. I like kids but I don't want to have kids very early. Because I have my own life ,I want to work hard and travel around many place and have colourful weekends .I don't want my kids makes me every day stay at home to take of her . So I will have kids when I really want to lead a peace life.

I think it is selfish of anyone to even suggest this to you. How do they really what your reasons are for choosing a life without children? Everybody is different. Maybe you are not ready to think this, or maybe you have thought about it extensively and decided what is best....But for anyone to make you feel bad, unnatural, or question who you are...shame on them. They are the selfish ones. Because if we were all made the same life would be so simple, wouldn't it? So just remind yourself you walk in your own shoes, they don't, you are the one who answer for your choices, they don't and you are the one who will live your life, they won't. I am sure they did not mean to make you feel like you are feeling, in fact they probably are like other parents who just want everyone to feel the joy of children in our lives. But like you said you still can do this with nieces and nephews. Keep your head up.