Accused and Confronted
By dhangski
@dhangski (3194)
Philippines
August 15, 2008 9:27pm CST
[b][i]I got a call yesterday from my niece. She was really crying. She told us to go to the school because something happened. My sister and I went hurriedly there. Then we learned that the mother of her classmate went there and confronted the teachers and her and accused my niece of cheating and all her grades from the 1st grade are all fake. How could that be? She is always on top of the class, she is in the 5th grade now along with my son. And all the teachers at that school could witness it. The mom that accused her only had her daughter transferred from that school late last year. So she is just new there. So how can she tell that all my niece's grades are all fake. We told her that she should confront and accuse the teachers too who is checking, making and recording those grades. Then it came to a point that we've, I mean the teachers, principal and my sister and I came up to an observation that she just wanted her daughter to be on top of the class. She is just so envious that my niece is always the school's representative in quiz bee's like in math and science. What can we do? Even the teachers knows that she deserves to be in there. She is the only one in the class that deserves to represent the school. I don't really know what kind of mind like this mom have. If she wanted her daughter to be on top then she should watch her child's study habits right? Now with this commotion that happened yesterday, my niece is the talk of the town. She has been traumatized with this.
How about you? How would you react if you've been in this situation? Have you've been confronted and accused and you proved them wrong? What did you do? Care to share your views and your experiences?
Keep postings. HUGZ![/i][/b]
12 people like this
37 responses
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
16 Aug 08
Hi dhangski,
[i]That is rude..I guess she needs to put up her own school and teach her kid so no competition and she will always on top!
What a narrow-minded parent..In that action, she's been a bad model to her kid already! She should be sports!
She is pressuring her own child to tackle things which is out of her capacity!
I hope you're niece will not be sad and she will take this as a challenge to strive more so that she will maintain the top![/i]
3 people like this
@catjane (1036)
• United States
16 Aug 08
Your niece doesn't have to prove anything to anyone. She earned her grades on her own and if that's not good enough for one person and her daughter, well that's their problem. In time, this incident will fade and no one will talk about it, so just let it ride. I am so sorry your niece has had to suffer because of it, but it will make her stronger and the less that is said about it, the faster it will all calm down.
1 person likes this
@jonesy123 (3948)
• United States
16 Aug 08
Wonder why the kid was transferred to your niece's school. Did something similar happen at that kid's old school? This is completely out of control and should have never gone beyond the principal's office. Jealousy is a bad thing. Be careful, this woman may do everything and anything to get your niece blacklisted as a cheater. You guys have to work with the principal to ensure this woman cannot harass your niece any further. Encourage your niece to hold her head high. She didn't do anything wrong. But also work with the teacher's and the principal to make sure that this woman doesn't cause any further damage.
3 people like this
@dhangski (3194)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
We told my niece to let this situation be a challenge for her. Prove to them that she really deserves those grades. I've seen how my niece work things out with regards to studies. And I am always with her whenever she has a competition, so I really know what my niece's capacity is. We've talked to the principal and to other teachers, we told them that if this will happen again, we will pull out my niece to their school along with my 2 sons. HUGZ!
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
16 Aug 08
I hate people who are willing to ruin someone's good name jut to push their own ineior kids to the top. What a sad, sick, state of affairs. I really hope all works out for your niece, who is the true winner and the bigger person in this siuation. I hope the others get what's coming to them!!!!
2 people like this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
hi dhangski! 
i never had an experienced like that. but it must have felt really terrible for your niece. that wretched mother's mind was clouded by envy. she shouldn't have treated a kid like that. if she wanted her kid to be on top of all her class, then she should help her daughter to do that. not blame it on your niece. her daughter was probably the top of her class in her previous school and when she transferred and fell down the list, the mother probably couldn't take it. she must have been tutoring her daughter a lot and when her kid got knocked off the first place, her ego couldn't take it. she must have believed a lot in her tutoring skills. that's why she couldn't accept that another kid was smarter than her daughter who she had been tutoring.
but in any case, she really shouldn't have take it out on your poor niece. that's a really bad trauma for her. to be accused in front of the teachers. how could a grown up do that to a small kid? its really unthinkable. that woman is wretched i tell you. i wonder what kind of treatment does her daughter get from her. if i were the mother of your niece, i would have given her a tongue lashing she would never ever forget. i'd probably be boiling with anger because she got my daughter crying and gave her a trauma. that's a big damage. even if my daughter was cheating, it is wrong to treat her like that. she's just a child and she probably thinks that cheating is just like a game. a child can't mean any harm so they shouldn't be treated harshly. i think i would file a complain against that woman if i were your niece's daughter. there might be no physical injury but there's an emotional damage done.
i never had an experienced like that. but it must have felt really terrible for your niece. that wretched mother's mind was clouded by envy. she shouldn't have treated a kid like that. if she wanted her kid to be on top of all her class, then she should help her daughter to do that. not blame it on your niece. her daughter was probably the top of her class in her previous school and when she transferred and fell down the list, the mother probably couldn't take it. she must have been tutoring her daughter a lot and when her kid got knocked off the first place, her ego couldn't take it. she must have believed a lot in her tutoring skills. that's why she couldn't accept that another kid was smarter than her daughter who she had been tutoring.
but in any case, she really shouldn't have take it out on your poor niece. that's a really bad trauma for her. to be accused in front of the teachers. how could a grown up do that to a small kid? its really unthinkable. that woman is wretched i tell you. i wonder what kind of treatment does her daughter get from her. if i were the mother of your niece, i would have given her a tongue lashing she would never ever forget. i'd probably be boiling with anger because she got my daughter crying and gave her a trauma. that's a big damage. even if my daughter was cheating, it is wrong to treat her like that. she's just a child and she probably thinks that cheating is just like a game. a child can't mean any harm so they shouldn't be treated harshly. i think i would file a complain against that woman if i were your niece's daughter. there might be no physical injury but there's an emotional damage done.
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
23 Aug 08
wow. really? poor kid. she cheated probably because of pressure from her mother. thanks for the best response dhangski.
@dhangski (3194)
• Philippines
17 Aug 08
I agree, physical injuries goes fast but the emotional damage will take long. All her accusations against my niece bounced back at her. The class adviser told the mom that she often caught the daughter cheating on tests and in graded recitations.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
Hi friend! I've always been a fighter all my life. Yes, I do encounter such things as well... but trust me, I always emerged victorious! If I am not at fault I have nothing to worry about I can always defend myself and sorry to the accuser because she will always end up embarrassed. Whenever I know I am on the right side, I speak like a lawyer in the court and truly the accuser will end up crying. Just a year ago, it happened to me actually. An ex-friend along with her two daughters accused me of doing something against their family but that surely I did not do. My conscience was clean so when we had a confrontation in front of the Pastor of our church, the whole family was embarrassed because I presented my position point by point and the three of them could hardly talk and just ended up crying altogether. The end result... they are now my ex-friends and they were expelled from our Church. Hurray! The truth has set me free! Have a nice day!
@tonyblake (24)
• Australia
21 Aug 08
sorry for sounding hard.just that i still havent and i probaly wont get over the abuse that others tend to inflick on our kids.i live here but im scottish!!!!!!!australia is not as cool as you may of heard
1 person likes this
@tonyblake (24)
• Australia
21 Aug 08
so people out there.when you smash your kids in Kmart at the check out cause they are unrully.think about it.im standing behind you.
1 person likes this
@tonyblake (24)
• Australia
21 Aug 08
all aside tell me about your music dramas.me too.i think i may have a solution for you
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
16 Aug 08
i am so sorry that something that terrible have to happen to your niece... i just can't believe that jealousy can cause people to do such a low thing like that... also, what kind of example is the mother setting to her daughter by doing that??? i think you have to tell your niece to be careful of this girl and her mother... make sure that your niece don't give them any chance to accuse her of anything... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
18 Aug 08
none yet..but my youngest daughter in her second year of high school was been one of the contestant of quizz bee..and representing her school as well and i was surprise on this since i know my daughter she was just average on math and yet thankful of her effort to represent..atleast no one made an effort to complain on this..in your niece case i guess she had to be confident..that is with the help of her mom and the family and reassures her that she really deserved it..and proved her detractors wrong..by winning or whatever...
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Aug 08
an accused remains innocent of the acts being accused of him until proven guilty, beyond reasonable doubt. that is something i've learned from my work. i say this for you said, you niece is being accused of cheating. then the burden of proof is on the mother of her classmate, she cannot just accused her of cheating, he must present proofs to support her accusations. if she cannot show some evidence and witnesses, then you should not entertain her accusations. if that case will be filed to our office, her complaint will be dismissed on hand, it will not even be accepted as a complaint. why you still bothered with her accusations if she cannot present a single evidence? i was once in that situation, but the other way. in my 2nd year, i still do good in class. but i witnessed, clearly saw on of my classmates who was also in the honor-rolls cheated in our examinations. i confronted him and we nearly went to a fight. that made me lose my good study habits until the 3rd year. it only came back in the 4th year when i found somebody who gave me inspiration to study good again, and made us both topped our class. (neildc @ red/89/1606)
(neildc @ red/89/1606)1 person likes this
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
first of all i will be terribly angry because it's just not going to affect her performance but it will definitely affect her way of life. the treatment that she once had will definetly be changed. and these are irreversible effects that she will be experiencing from now on. i will definitely confront the parents of that child and i really don't know what will happen next. maybe you should file a case about that. have a good day dhangski.
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
16 Aug 08
Hi dhangski,
Fortunatly I have never been in that situation but if that was my daughter thats been accused of cheating and proved wrong I will sue the mother of the girl and also the school for traumtising my daughter and make that girl and her mother to opoligse in public and in front of the whole school.
Love & HUGZ
Tamara
1 person likes this
@dhangski (3194)
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
We could've pulled her out of that school since the day she was harrassed last year by a drunken man. But she doesn't want to. Her reason was, she is vying to be class valedictorian when she goes to her 6th grade next school year. If she will transfer all her achievements will not be counted. The school admin apologized to us last friday when we went there and promised us that this situation or rather commotion will not happen again. We told them that they better do what they promise or else, we'll going to report them to the district supervisor.
1 person likes this
@eiram25 (1076)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
Hello dhangski!
The story you have just shared only shows that envious people, especially in times of desperation, will go to greater lengths in order to get what they want. It's just a pity that your niece, who is just a child, became the prey of a malicious and accusing person. If I were in that position, I will not tolerate such act. I will confront her immediately even if it means going to the principal just to clear things out. I really feel sorry for your niece, coz this might become a traumatic experience for her. Hopefully, she will see this situation as a challenge for her to prove to everyone that she rightfully deserves to be on top of the class.
1 person likes this
@dhangski (3194)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
We did confront the mother. We did confront all her classmates if they know anything about it. We confronted her at the principals office. We even told her to show proofs of what her accusations are. And we proved that it's all hearsay and she is just jealous that most of the awards last year was given to my niece and some to my son. And know what? Her accusations bounced back at her. The whole class proved that her daughter was the one who is cheating on exams and even on graded recitations. Though my niece is traumatized by this, I told her that let it be a challenge for her, prove them that she deserves all her achievements since 1st grade.
1 person likes this
@seasons1981 (299)
• United States
17 Aug 08
wow, I dont know what i would do. Especially if she was the talk of the town. I guess i would tell her to ignore it. Its all in jealousy anyway and people will learn sooner or later that it does nothing at all to be jealous.
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
16 Aug 08
All you can do is to console your niece now. She needs more reassurance than ever. I think her confidence has reached rock bottom and you need to be there for her to help her boost her confidence.
That mother is obviously unreasonable and in the wrong. 
She has no proof or whatsoever and is making false accusations. Her kid is not doing as well academically and perhaps she is jealous. You can sue her for slander if you wish to.
I've never been in such a situation but I've been accused of things I've never done before too. I was extremely disappointed by the behavior of my friend and was feeling sad for a short period of time.
She has no proof or whatsoever and is making false accusations. Her kid is not doing as well academically and perhaps she is jealous. You can sue her for slander if you wish to.
I've never been in such a situation but I've been accused of things I've never done before too. I was extremely disappointed by the behavior of my friend and was feeling sad for a short period of time.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
4 Apr 11
Hi, dhangski, As my nieces mother, I would have talked to the principal and all of her teachers that she has had so far since the first grade and onto the fifth grade. When all of her grades are pulled out and gone over completely, then you all will know that it is not your niece's fault, but the mother of the child's fault. It is so pitiful that she wants so badly for her daughter to be on the top when her academic progress has not allowed her to be at this point. I hope that she realizes that she can't always be a winner when she wishes to.
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
16 Aug 08
This accusing woman is clearly demented, and the only thing you can do is ignore her. The teachers and staff at the school will all realise this is a load of rubbish, and sensible people will just laugh it off. Hopefully your niece will get on with her life and try not to let this bother her. I know it's hard, but it's the only thing you can do. I was once accused of copying a poem (which I'd written myself) when I started high school - it was very distressing, and I had to get my parents to go to the school and speak to the teacher.
1 person likes this
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
16 Aug 08
I wonder who this woman is - does she have some political backing or what? And I'm surprised the school allows her to carry on with her ridiculous charges! If she's so sure that your niece has done wrong, then ask her for the proof.
If I were to encounter such a situation, and I know that our side is definitely right, and has the solid evidence to prove so, I would challenge her to prove that she's right in her accusations. And if she persist with her accusations; then I'd sue her in court for slander and libel! Sometimes it amazes me that some women would do anything just to get their children recognized. And it's bad education, really bad upbringing!
I am sorry for your little niece - you'll have to help out of this trauma; else she might have a fear of doing well/getting good grades in school. She might associate good grades to persecution by jealous schoolmates or their parents. Take care!
@fearie (153)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
well i think ur niece is a very smart kid dont worry nobody will believe that that ur niece cheated on the exam.. i just cant believe that someone would go that low just simply because she wants her daughter to be on top of the class... having that kind of attitude( the mom who accused ur niece) nobody's gonna believe her
1 person likes this
