would you be willing to forgive a wife...

Though you know your situation and the person who is your wife (assuming that you didn't get a divorce)better than I do....do you think that she feels sorry that she misses the kids because of her actions and wants to make amends? If you really feel that she is capable of change, then give it a shot. That's how life is...people change (sometimes for the better and sometimes for the bad). If she is the one who left you and the children and she is the woman who spoke back to your parents.....and it is this same woman who wants to come back into your life, then there must be a reason for it, don't you think? Another option would be to talk to her before you take a decision and openly tell her how you feel about what she did and how you find it difficult to forgive her and after that if you still decide to start afresh, let her know that it will take a lot of hard work on her part to amend things and try to get back to being a loving family. It's not going to be easy with the kind of impression everyone has about her....but if she really wants to make it work...it's for her to make the effort. And if she will make the effort, you will be able to forgive her..slowly but surely (if not for anything else...atleast for the sake of the children)....and things just might work out for the best. Again, you are the best person who knows your situation and we can only give suggestions which you can take or leave or...take some , work around some or leave them.

thanks for sharing your views. im really loosing my mind. im torn between forgiving her and not forgiving her....im just rationalizing things that will be good for the kids.

I once walked out on my husband (along with our son) when he went on badmouthing my mother in front of people when I repeatedly asked him not to do it. And I was the one who came back. I can't even count the number of times my husband has walked out on us....and most of it when I really was unable to do anything about it. Around 3-4 times when I was pregnant with our first child...and in an unknown place with no neighbours and I didn't even know the language. He did it once when I was 8 months pregnant with my second. There have been so many problems that I have gone through....but I realized that people change and sometimes it takes a strong stand from one partner to make the other realize what they are missing.

lawyer & counselling is something that i cannot afford financially now. children are involved, yeah, thats what worries me most.

i am a very forgiving person too, and i have been caught in traps similar to that before and it never ends good. there is a point where enough is enough, not only for your health and wellbeing, but also for your childrens. lol sorry i had something important i wanted to point out but now my mind is blank, if i think of it i will say

thats what my parents are saying too. and to think, my parents are very forgiving people.

i dont blame her for hating me, i have my faults but leaving me when i begged her to work things out for the kids sake, and doing it twice, thats just too much. thanks rocker21

maybe i am stupid. but i just cant help the little love left, but its soon going away after what she said to my parents. our kids are so young, 3 yr old & 17 month old. the little one is still being brst-fed when she left but now when she came back to see the kids, our son seem not to know her anymore. i am not concern about what i feel anymore. im willing to do all it takes to put the children in a better situation.thank u shooie

the children are very much affected. my 17 month old son doesnt want to go with her when he sees her....though, i could not afford a counselor or to file a divorce, ( theres no divorce in our country, there' annulment, thou it is so expensive)...

i admit that i have my own shortcomings & faults, but everytime i ask her to work things out, she ends up leaving me & the kids. i would not lie, she is the mother of my kids and there's still a little love left. but in her exit-entrance in the kids'lives the kids are affected so even if im willing to forgive her, im thinking of the kids. and really, when its decided, im willing to share the custody of the kids with her. thanks you,cjay77

even if i dont accept her, she still have the rights to be with the kids. the way she behaves with my parents, who treated her as if she were their daughter is the thing that hurts me the most, and also, the fact that she live a few weeks without seeing her very own kids. she could hate me all she want, i would accept. but when she shows no love for the people who loves her so, that makes me think of not accepting her anymore.