Do You Find This Part of Nemo Disturbing, Too?

Parenting is full of decisions that are unpopular with children... I agree that maybe the moment can be used as an opportunity to explain why we don't say these things to each other (and how Nemo has forgotten to use good manners, etc.) It still kind of disturbs me that Disney put it into the movie in the first place. Thanks for your reply!

I agree that children sometimes have trouble expressing what they want to say, and that this is especially true when they are angry. And while kids actually do say these words (whether or not they mean them,) I'm still disturbed that Disney/Pixar put it into the movie. I cringe every time we watch the movie and it comes to that part. Thanks for your reply!

I agree that there is more to Finding Nemo than that one scene. My children are young, and we go to great pains to teach them good manners and how there are appropriate (and inappropriate) things to say to people. (We watch NASCAR from time to time, too, where we have to explain that some of the "bumping" that goes on are cases where the drivers "forgot to use their manners" as D. Waltrip puts it...) And there is a good lesson on forgiveness between parents and children to take home from the movie, as you say. I don't know; I still find that part somewhat disturbing... Thanks for your reply!

I too have seen finding nemo and it is a great movie but oddly enough I did find that sene a bit much.

I whole heartedly understand where you are coming from. To give you an excellent example, I have older children and younger children. When my oldest was 18 or 19 and my youngest was 2 or 3, the oldest would play the video game Halo while the youngest was in the room. I started noticing how violently my daughter would play with her dolls. She would pretend they were fighting each other. The dolls would end up decapitated and dismembered and she didn't mind. She still wanted to play with them. I asked the older children were they fighting in front of her and they weren't. One day I noticed the game they were playing and discovered that it was the root of her behavior. We were very careful after that to monitor what we were watching or doing while she was in our presence. So it is very important to monitor what is put in front of children.

Your comments are very perceptive. I am reacting to my own fear of what my children may learn from bad examples and how they may apply bad examples in their own life. Some ask the question about whether we should put bad examples before our children and let them choose for themselves what is good and what is bad. But I think that you are correct, that repeatedly putting bad examples in front of children may give them the ideas that such things are acceptable. This is the reason that I find this brief section in Nemo to be somewhat disturbing. Yes, it is my own fear, but it is also the idea that my children may see such things and consider them acceptable behavior. Disney (and other children's entertainment companies) does not need to put unacceptable behavior in front of my children in order to make money; I am disturbed that this is what they have chosen to do. Thankfully, as you say, the instances are not frequent, and there are many more choices of instances that are acceptable that can be used for children's entertainment. Thanks for your reply!

Thanks for your reply! I agree that the movie has many lessons to offer. I am sure that some find it ironic that a parent would watch a movie about an over-protective parent and find something from which he would want to protect his children! And many fairy tales feature elements that are not appropriate for children - or at least, that some feel are not appropriate for children. How many of the Grimm's Fairy Tales have gory endings... people getting eaten, wolves devouring pigs, wolves getting hacked up by woodcutters... which someone at some point in time has come along and edited to make it a little more "child friendly" - or maybe friendlier for younger ages? I think that there is certainly an age at which a person could see this scene from Nemo with their child and have something to talk about with them. It is a little disturbing to me, though, that a company such as Disney would make movies for children and include such a line. The sentiment could have easily been communicated differently. Thanks for your thoughts!

It is a tough situation. I agree that the movie reflects a very real aspect that occurs in relationships between parents and children. Parents can be "overprotective" - as Marlin is - and yet there is an extent to which parents do need to shelter their children and make sure that they grow up in an environment that is safe... Most parents in my experience want their children to grow up to be good people - and the question is: How? Nemo is old enough to leave the anemone. And the teacher thinks he is old enough to go out to the drop off without risk of too much danger (except getting nabbed by an Australian dentist... or possibly eaten by a barricuda...) The movie is entertaining. Maybe my concern seems like an overanalysis. (Maybe my kids are simply too young for the movie!) Yet there are some things which people should not say in front of children - and while Nemo's words seem extremely mild in comparison to something PG, PG-13, or rated R - there is something that seems inappropriate - especially for young children who soak everything in and repeat whatever they hear. Thanks for your thoughts!

Overall, Finding Nemo is a good movie and teaches many positive lessons. The issue that disturbs me about this particular scene is that it is an extremely bad example of behavior, and it gives children an example and plants ideas into their minds - and perhaps these things may be discussed with older children, but my children are far too young. They like to copy what they see and hear, and this is something that they would not understand. Nemo would have been captured no matter what he had said to his father, I agree. Yet the disturbance of the conflict prior to his capture could have been created more mildly and still conveyed the sentiments without giving an extremely bad example. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in your reply!

I would agree that most children go through this phase and that they later come to understand why their parents did the sorts of things that they did. And I know, too, that Nemo didn't mean what he said - he was angry and was speaking in a moment of anger with a father character who was obviously painted out to be extremely over-protective (perhaps with good reasoning, too). But I think that you really hit on my point. A child soaks those words in - whether he hears it from Nemo, or friends, or in a book, or wherever - and then tries to find the appropriate place to use those words. (We actually tell our children that "hate" is not a polite thing to say.) Thanks for your reply! I appreciate your thoughts.

I very much agree with you that it is impossible for parents to completely shield their children from every bad example. And I also agree that the movie has a larger lesson and that everything does work out well in the end. (And the children do see everything in the movie, whereas in real life - not everything works out the same! and they do not see *if* misbehaving children apologize and learn their lessons...) Yet, as a parent, I do try to shield my children from learning bad behavior, and having bad examples set before them - from a trusted children's program producer like Disner - disturbs me as a parent. I try to avoid having them see bad lessons in the first place and allow them to learn from their own mistakes, rather than having them learn to copy the poor manners of others - or be taught such poor manners through television. Perhaps Disney was very intentional when they included this scene, and they were hoping to teach a very pointed lesson - and to show the serious problem and a positive resolution. Perhaps it is a lesson for children who are a little older than mine - who are in the age where fantasy and reality are not so easily separated. I appreciate your thoughts and comments. Thank you for your reply!

Hi, donna22 - I guess I can understand your confusion. The line is definitely straight from a child's mouth and very true-to-life. And kids can get the idea to do or say these sorts of things from many places -- they were saying these sorts of things long before Finding Nemo. At the same time, though, I have to say that I don't think that kids need any encouragement. And they certainly don't need movies giving them any ideas. I affectionately call my preschool age daughter a "repeater girl"; there are some things that I really would rather not have her repeating. Disney is probably aiming for an audience that is older than my preschool age children - who love to act out and repeat the things that they see and hear on tv. Thanks for your reply!

Hi, baileycows ~ "I still grew up knowing that you can't act like Terminator II" I probably wouldn't let my preschool aged children watch that, either... Number 1 - Nightmares. Number 2 - I think that they see these things - in whatever venue - television, books, friends - and they are so very smart. They soak these things into their minds. They are good at catching what we miss. Part of the issue that disturbs me has to do with the various stages of development that a child passes through as the child grows up. There is a stage at which a child can only reason concretely - the keys are only there if the child can see them; if you place them under a cup, the keys are gone. (Granted, children quickly pass through that phase, but you get the idea.) And while there comes a point at which when you ask kids, "Is there such a thing as a talking fish?" the child will say, "Of course, not!" - there is still that phase where the lines are blurry between fantasy and reality. Disney - producing movies for children - should have its finger on child psychology and the various stages of mental development in a child. My children are still quite young, and if nothing else, I want to give them the best - and every time we come to that part in the movie, I can only think that Disney could have done better. Thanks for your reply!

Surprised is a good word for how I would describe my reaction to seeing that part in the movie. The same idea could have been conveyed differently... But how it is is how it is. Maybe you have done the best that can be done - to talk with your child and explain how Nemo was doing something that he shouldn't have done. Thank you for your thoughts!

I agree that positive role models are important. I realize that children typically go through that stage in life, and that no one is ever going to attribute his rebellious phase to what he saw as a child in a Disney Pixar film! Still, that part disturbs me even more than the sad parts. (Ok, it's a little bit disturbing when the barricuda eats Coral and 99% of the eggs, too...) I appreciate your thoughts! Thanks for your reply.

I guess that you are not alone in your thoughts. My perspective is that they could have achieved the same effect by using different words. And, even though the language is not particularly foul or anything that would have earned the movie a PG-13 rating or anything like that, the words are still so powerful... that it probably would have been best (in my opinion) to word it slightly differently. Thanks for your reply!

We have two sayings: "Hindsight is 20/20" and "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure". We each do our best in the situations that are set before us, and we try to do what is best with our children with the circumstances that we have been given so that they grow up well and can live good lives. It is all a learning process - and each person has their own road to take. I don't know that anyone who watches "Finding Nemo" will be permanently scarred (or really even mildly affected) by this little scene. Nevertheless, its presence is somewhat disturbing to me, and I wish that the film makers would have chosen different words. Thanks for your thoughts and your reply!