What you usually do when your partner say hurting words?

Bebs - hi. Everyone couple is different and communication problems often are the most difficult part of a relationship. I won't keep quiet though if my partner upsets me. I try to work it out because I don't like feeling bad inside. I don't like it when people say mean things, and then say, "Oh, I didn't mean that", or "I wasn't trying to hurt you." Well, I ask them, why did you say it if you don't mean it? But, if slamming the door works for your marriage, then slam the door. But please take care of the feelings inside of you. Be certain you are not sacrificing who you are to avoid an argument. travel lightly, anawar out.

it isn't often but we have had flair ups or arguments in the past where things have been said both sides. i'm big on communication because otherwise i'll mull on it so i usually talk to him. That doesn't always work because he was very shy when i met him and he isn't comfortable sometimes with direct confrontation or showing his feelings. He often finds it difficult to express what he's really trying to say and so laughs (nervous) and uses humour. This really winds me up which makes things worse if this is happening i tend to write it down in a letter that was i can get everything out i need to say and he can think about it and come back with a response. Like i said we don't have it often as it's been 10 years now and we've realise whats just rattyness and tiredness and we usually agree to disagree or one of us will allieviate the situation with a learned trigger. Like I make him laugh he gives me a kiss or a love. Sounds strange to think that we just do that mid arguement but it breaks the tension and it's something that works for me. Walking away doesn't because i follow wanting to carry it on and he knows that. Strange really but we're a pretty good match, we're doing ok!

My husband does not say anything mean. He is someone who just doesnt do that. He swallows things rather than expressing them. i dont think it's healthy but at least he doesnt hurt my feelings. He may say things behind my back but he doesnt say it to my face. I guess I am sort of lucky in that way. I wouldnt mind if he said something sometime though.

I am very sensitive so I usually end up crying on the rare occasions my husband does this. We hardly ever fight or anything so it's not that big of a problem. On the times I don't cry, and after I'm done crying on the other times, I tell him he upset me and we talk it out. Sometimes they really don't mean to hurt us. Men and women just think differently.

Well it does happen. Sometimes my hubby utters words that hurt me and I believe I also do sometimes. We are but human being after all. We do commit some kind of verbal abuse. When it happens, I normally would keep quiet first then after composing myself, I'd tell him that I was hurt with what he said. I think it's better that way. He should know what hurts me instead of keeping it to myself without him knowing that he hurt me. I want him to realize his mistake so that he could say sorry to me and be careful the next time around. This is very helpful because we always end up at peace again. I am also encouraging him to do the same because sometimes he has the tendency to keep it to himself and just stop talking.

from what i understand from your statement , guess you must have already spoken to him about this and he carries on doing it ... it is them i hate it when my husband puts his legs on mine, his skin is so rough and it irratates me ... i have told him not to do it many times ..but he keeps doing it because he enjoys irratating me . well what i do at times is i put my leg on him and give a more harder preasure or interlock his leg .. try not to get the emotion spoil the relationship .. the next time your partner says something bad .. say something equally bad but make it sound like joke, or tickle him or poke him no point getting angry .. as they dont care .. only thing you can do is change the air .. i know it hurts .. try doing it sometimes .. you may find changes in you ..you can never change him .. sometimes i attack .. the most sensetive part .. to distract him, it pays as be becomes defensive .. but make sure your intention is not to hurt him

i would just say nothing, if i would be responding to that, i might even have a harder time trying to get over the things i might be able to say. i know my limits and if what he says aren't true perhaps that is the time i would try to protect myself.

yes, some friends have that experience, but my wife never say hurting words, she's try to be nice when we have a problem and she's more quiet until i say something to her. if she's can't handle she just get angry but never say hurting words.

I get even. An eye for an eye. *evil laughter* And when we argue again in the future, sometimes I will bring up what he said before. How it hurts.

My husband is so bad for that and he means every word he says,and just come back at him,i will not let him let a way with it,it huts me yes but i dont let him know that.

just the same... i keep quiet and not talk to him. but if i do answer him back, it'll be in a sarcastic tone or somewhat plain... just to let him know that i'm not ok.

I think that it is important to let your spouse know that they have hurt you. Its not healthy to hold it in, it just makes you resentful amd bitter. Dont let them steal your joy like that. Let them know, forgive them, pray about it, pray for them and leave it in God hands.

I usually take some time to gather myself because if I talk right away, I will probably say something really hurtful back. After getting it together, I then talk to her in a civil manner to resolve the issue.

i will simply here his words not talking anything, after he completes i will give him a nice answer for him

i ignore him... i just left him and let him to reflect on what he had just said to me... and i wait for him to say sorry to me and apologise... if he doesn't say sorry or apologise, i won't even want to talk to him again ever... men can be a real jerks sometimes and say stupid things that hurt our feelings without they realising it... take care and have a nice day...

[b][i]Here I go again...I will have the chance of sharing my past experience with my ex-husband. Regarding hurting words..no matter what form or no matter if our partner will say those hurting words to us...it still HURTS..it even decreases our self-esteem...Remember never let your self-esteem go down..it's really hard,trust me.Been there,done that.At first I would just listen to those hurting words and just cry.I don't answer back..I just cry.And when people around you hears your partner telling you some hurting words and you never fight back and reason out for what you think is right..those people will not respect you and will treat you the same way your partner treats you and that even hurts. Nobody has the right to say something bad and say hurting words at you bec. in the first place you just married him and the only person who has the right to say hurting words to you is your parents.Your partner doesn't have any right to even hurt you and not even a finger point at you. Stop sulking girl.I know how it feels.I got out from that situation 4 years ago.I suffered a lot with my ex-husband,mentally,emotionally and before we got annulled physically.My self-esteem is really low...I became a shy person and I thought I am no use to our society and that I am paralyzed without him. I picked up the pieces and I was told that I should learn to love myself and gain back my respect. Now I am happy with my new boyfriend and we are living together like husband/wife. So sis make sure that you leave some respect for yourself...I know its normal for couples to fight and we can't prevent hearing hurting words but don't let that happen all the time.Please.[/i][/b]

Usually I just stay quiet and try to calm myself then I would talk it out to her and maybe have the problem solved immediately. Well maybe it's good to let things calm down first before talking because heated emotions leads to misjudged discussions and arguments.

:-) I think our husbands are twins when it comes to that kind of attitude. What I usually do when he say something that hurts me is that I will really say right to his face that I don't like the way he talks or I don't like what he said. I don't feel comfortable that when I am hurt I just let it pass. And when we started talking about that matter he would come to realize that he is unware of his words.

en~~~I have no experence! But my parents often like this! They always quarrel. but, the second day ,they also ,as usual!I think they love each other!so they can forgive each others mistakes!of course,my father was always first apology!!!o(n_n)o...

I have partner totally different from me. Winning is the most important for him and I grow up in a deferent view so sometimes he say something that hurt me. At first I always cry but later on I get use to it and now it seems like nothing. Arguing with your partner who think what he says is alright is not worth it, it will just end up to a fight and could be worse. In relationship one has to give to make it work.