My Mom has given all her money away to a man in Spain...........
By joker4poker
@joker4poker (56)
United States
August 21, 2008 7:52pm CST
She has never met him and he told her this story of his companion being killed in a car accident and a insurance policy that the parents had received and now the parents are dead and the money was in limbo and his friend who works at a bank in Spain can help him get this 2 million plus dollars if he can find a relative in the US so my Mom has been convinced if she helps him by signing this letter stating that she is the elder sister of Faith Fred...(Funny his name is Fred McKathy)then he will give her 500,000 of it. So she did, she signed the paper and sent it to the bank in Spain with all her info, Name bank acct, utility bill, social security #, Drivers License #, Credit Card #, you name it she has sent it, plus from what I have figured from bank statements, wire transfers etc. she has sent him almost 20,000 in cash to bank and 3,000 to him alone in his name. Now she is unable to pay her bills. She has been laid off from her work (she is 68 yrs old) she has gave him ALL her 401K, stocks from the company she worked for, cashed in. Now there is this sick game I feel he is playing with her, by saying he loves her and they will be together soon and he wants to marry her. He has said he is 55 yrs old. They are always chatting online. She doesn't leave her room in fear of him coming online to chat. She is lonely and I have tried to get her out but she won't go. Now she is looking to be evicted from her place and I don't feel like I should help since I have been trying for 4 months to show her that this has been a SCAM, and she has told me that I just don't want to see her happy and to stay out of her business. What can I or should I do? I feel that I should just let her be evicted, and let her live on her Social Security Check of $1,500.00 and figure it out on her own. The thing is she has REALLY bad credit and the apartment she's in now was a favor from a friend which got her out of a weekly motel 4 years ago. She will most likely have to go back to that and they run 220.00 a week here in San Diego.
5 people like this
20 responses
@Elixiress (3878)
•
25 Aug 08
I am sorry to hear that your Mam has been sucked in, but I have heard many simular stories of elderly and lonely people being sucked into simular scams. I do not understand why she did it though, if she had 401k and he was offering 500k, that is only 100k more and when you are up to that amount at her age, it makes little difference. She could have lived a perfectly comfortable life off the amount she had.
1 person likes this
@theproperator (2429)
• United States
25 Aug 08
lol, A "401k" is a type of retirement fund here in the US, not the amount of money in the account.
@theproperator (2429)
• United States
25 Aug 08
Well, it could have been read either way in context...
@Elixiress (3878)
•
25 Aug 08
Oh right, I didn't realised. I thought it meant 401,000 lol, I feel slightly silly now :P
@jessigirl116 (848)
• United States
22 Aug 08
It sounds to me like your mom needs a lawyer or a private detective. Obviously she is being taken for a ride. How can people still be falling for that crap with all the education we have available?? If it were my mom, I would file for power of attorney or something to protect her. Unfortunately, she doesn't have anything left to protect. Maybe there is a way to get it back. That's what you could do for her- Research how to get her money back.
1 person likes this
@sudalunts (5523)
• United States
22 Aug 08
There is no way to get her money back. These guys who do this are from a foreign country, and change names like you change your underwear. I saw a documentary on this on 60 minutes one time. There is nothing that can be done for her unfortunately. These scams have been going on for years, and it is surprising that people still fall for it. She may be able to do something about all of her personal information she has given him, she needs to do that quickly, no telling what he has already done.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
22 Aug 08
She sounds like she has been brought up to believe that a woman has to give all her money to a mam. I wonder when she was young and first went to work, did her father demand that she give her all her pay? That makes women vulnerable to scams. They feel they do not deserve to keep the money and they must help anyone out and they will believe it. They have not developed the judgment necessary for finance and in their sub conscious they do not believe they deserve to keep nay money.
It happened to my mother-in-law. She gave money to religious organizations that were not helping the poor in the mission fields until my husband and his sister stopped her, and got her on an allowance. You might have to be the power of attorney and take charge of the money. In the meantime, find out from the police or the FBI what to do to regain that money.
And if your mother cannot handle money and is not qualified, try to get in charge of the finances.
@joker4poker (56)
• United States
25 Aug 08
Thank you for advise, I have contacted FBI and there is nothing they can or will do.
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
22 Aug 08
It may sound cruel but I agree you should let your mom face this alone. I mean being such an old age I thought she would know better than giving out her ID out on a platter to some kind of chatter she met online claiming he loves her.
You reminded her before so it's not like you don't care, she just chose not to listen. Eviction is nothing, you can read online what happens to ID theft victims.
If I were you I would at least help her with grocery but everything else she will be on her own.
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
4 Nov 08
This definately sounds like she was scammed, and I would be trying to find out some information myself if I were you, and get this guys information, and turn him into the proper authorities, as I am sure he has done it to others as well. That is one of the main problems with meeting people online, and they post warnings all of the time to try and help people avoid things like this as well.
Since this has been posted like 3 months ago, I am hoping somehow your Mom did not end up having to live in a Hotel, and did get some sense knocked into her and is learning from her experience as well. Maybe you should find better ways for her to meet men and get her back to wanting more for her life as well.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
22 Aug 08
The older generation seems to fall for this type of thing quite easily. I cannot believe that she thought she should keep sending him money. I would guess there is not much you can do but get a lawyer and straighten out what you can and definitely change the bank info.
@joker4poker (56)
• United States
25 Aug 08
I'm in complete disbelief myself... Thank you for the response.
@theproperator (2429)
• United States
24 Aug 08
Did this guy give your Mom his phone number? I imagine they have spoken if he's "so in love" with her. I bet 10-1 that if you check that number, the country code isn't even for Spain. If she is calling Spain the first 5 digits would have to be "011-34-" followed by the rest of the phone number.
In fact, I'd even bet that the number she uses is 011-234... because that is the code for calling Nigeria, where tons of these scams are generated.
Maybe if I'm right about that, it would help convice your mom that he is lying to her. Although, she may already suspect it herself, but she is too embarrassed to admit she has been so decieved.
Good Luck.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
22 Aug 08
I'm sorry, this is definitely a scam and, not only has your mother been cheated out of a large amount of money, her identity has now been compromised and she has left herself open to even more financial harm by sending these crooks valuable information. Your mother is going to have to report this to the police, her bank, the social security administration and her credit card company but it looks like that isn't going to happen until she can accept the fact that she's been cheated. She may already have realized it or she may be in deep denial because she's lonely and doesn't want to face the embarassment and regret she's going to feel once this man is finished with her but she needs to understand that her personal information is now in the hands of many people.
There are several websites dedicated to informing people about these scams...and some that actually bait scammers, hoping that by keeping them so busy chasing their tails that they will have less time to troll for unsuspecting people. I used to do this but it's very time consuming so I haven't *worked* any scammers in a while but I still get plenty of their emails in my catcher email accounts.
The next step in this scam is that this man will ask your mom for money in order to come here to be with her. If she tells him she doesn't have it, I guarantee he will be gone from her life in a flash. See if you can get your mom to visit the following website:
scamwarners.com
419eater.com
She'll probably refuse while you're there but leave those web addresses with her and maybe she'll take a look while she's waiting for this man to get online. You might also want to tell her that that Social Security check she depends on now is in danger of being diverted to another address and it could take months for her to get that mess straightened out.
@joker4poker (56)
• United States
25 Aug 08
Thank you for your help with the sites, very much appreciated. Also your kindness.
@greenglitterturtle (2750)
• United States
22 Aug 08
hi joker....i am so sorry for you having to see this going on. it must hurt and make you feel sick. it's one thing to be lonely but for her to let this guy milk her like that, it is scary and sad. i guess the good thing in this is that you can see it for what it is so that you won't be taken by that. she's in so deep i don't see how you could help her much. she is very much an adult and should know better. she should be looking after you. you might just have to let it run it's sad course. i feel for you. i hope you'll be okay.
@nynapper (82)
• United States
22 Aug 08
Are there no decent people in this world anymore? You should take your mom to a lawyer or expert in this matter and have them explain to her what kind of scam she's getting herself into and how common this kind of thing is. I'm sure she loves you and respects your advice, but sometimes a word from a person with expert knowledge is needed. I wouldn't be surprised if the world really is coming to an end, there are too many nasty people in the world.
@tootie1073 (16)
•
25 Aug 08
will you let her move in with you? with your mother being up in age, does she have any mental health issues you are not aware of? why would she not listen to you about this? even with lawyer or police involvement, she may never get her money back, but from what you've written, she isn't looking for the money back, she is looking for love and companionship and thinks she has to pay for it. some things in life ARE free, and she needs to understand that. there has to be some way for you to cut her ties with this 'man', if it even really is a man. not to be devious or anything, but maybe waste water on her computer or do something to make it not work. do you have any other siblings that could talk to your mother? i would be able to deal with my mother being mad at me for a while if i know i am doing something for her own good.
@bmf1976 (45)
• United States
22 Aug 08
Hi there, what a sad situation your mother is in. She has definitely fallen prey to a scam. Have you looked on-line for ways to deal with these sort of scammers? Maybe there are ideas of how to convince her of the scam. Showing her other people's stories may help. Unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do unless your mother realizes there is a problem. Be there for her. But don't provide her any extra money that she would probably only turn around and give to this jerk of a person (saying person, because it may not even be a man, just someone eeking money out of your mother). I've seen stories about Nigerian scams, where the person claims to be from Nigeria and really lays on this story about needing money and help, etc. You can usually tell it's a scam because of how it's written. And, well, quite frankly, the nature of the email is enough to sound off alarm bells. Stay strong for your mother . . . she at least needs your physical and mental presence. Get her out (and away from that computer) when you can. What if you took away her internet connection (which she shouldn't be able to afford at this point anyway??)? Good luck. I hope it all works out for the best soon.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
23 Aug 08
i'm so sorry to hear that... but i don't understand why your mum can trust a person that she hadn't meet before so much until she is willing to give him all her money... i will never do that... not even to the person that i had met before... it is just too risky... may be you can report this incident to the police and see what they can do to help your mum... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
22 Aug 08
oh my God?? really??
i cant imagine why some people can be so cruel to do that.
i'm really sorry to hear your mom's story. that man should be burned alive for doing that. some people dont have hearts, i cant understand why they are still alive. well, try to see if there is still something you can do about the money. try to check what's the name of the guy that your mother sent the money to and try to ask your legals if you can still do something and even just get half or so of your mom's money. as of now, just always be with her and make her feel that no matter what you're just there. that's it's not that you don't want to see her happy, but instead you care for her that's why you are doing all these things. i just pray she'll realize and do something about it herself..
i cant imagine why some people can be so cruel to do that. i'm really sorry to hear your mom's story. that man should be burned alive for doing that. some people dont have hearts, i cant understand why they are still alive. well, try to see if there is still something you can do about the money. try to check what's the name of the guy that your mother sent the money to and try to ask your legals if you can still do something and even just get half or so of your mom's money. as of now, just always be with her and make her feel that no matter what you're just there. that's it's not that you don't want to see her happy, but instead you care for her that's why you are doing all these things. i just pray she'll realize and do something about it herself..
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Aug 08
This screams SCAM all over it. But unless you can convince her it's a scam, you can't even get her to stop talking to the idiot. And most likely there is no way she can get her money back although there are online agencies that do work with internet fraud. If you can get her to report it, have her do that. Probably they can't help because he's in another country though. So sorry to hear about this!
@sweethomecatring (1563)
• India
22 Aug 08
I think your mom has emotional bonds with that burglar who has actually burgled her finances and emotions. She has been fraud ed like any thing. I think that man will never return. He has scammed your mother. Does He still come on line with your mother or stopped. I He use to come he can be traced from the IP company he use and handed over to law enforcing agency and your mother can be rehabilitated. Pray god for her well being. I to pray god to come to her rescue.
@GIPILKO (51)
• Philippines
24 Aug 08
She was scammed by that person, it happened to me before believing to that story, thanks to some scam protectors, they sent me email saying that you are scammed by a person here in our neighborhood...but fortunately, i didn't give any information about my accounts and so on..just give m telephone number and somebody called me and i also called them too, thats only my expenses..long distance..
I think, you have to make an email also and send it to your mother pretending that you know the person scamming your mother, make a story also that that man is really fake..and surely it will break your mothers hearth and you as a daughter, just be always there to listen, dont blame her for the mistake shed done..
@jensxtn (25)
• United States
22 Aug 08
It sounds like she may be aware herself of whats going on..she just refuses to admit it to you. She sounds like someone who who can't be alone and will do anything to be loved by a man. You need to let her fall on her own you cant be responsible for her. All you can do Is listen and let her know that if he needs all of her money what kind of catch is he and wait until she comes around. Of course she will be broke and alone but as long as you fight with her it will get you know where she needs to think you are happy for her and that you are supportive. you need to play mind games with her just like he does.
