would you tell your friend's husband/wife if u found out ur friend was cheating?

First thing I would do is speak to my friend. If he does not change after that I will let their partner know about them. I dont consider it to be meddling, its just that I dont want to see one of them devastated

Definatly...There's no reason not to tell...Chances are, eventually they'll find out somehow later down the road, and might possibly find out that you knew all along, and then you'll be in big trouble! So if that happened, I personally would tell him/her right away, no doubt about it... -mike

i would..and have. unfortunately, being honest with someone who doesnt want to know, puts a horrible strain on the friendship at hand. but its a risk you really have to take. NOT telling yer showing absolutely no loyalties to someone you claim to care about. how would YOU feel if you found out yer husband was screwing around, and on top of that heartbreak, learned yer friends all knew about it and stayed silent? doubley betrayed id say.. and those youd need to turn to for support would then be people you could no longer trust or depend on and youd be left alone in yer pain. been there too.. and it isnt a very enjoyable experience. bite the bullet and take the hit for a friend. its what TRUE friends do.

I would tell. If it were me being cheated on, and my friend knew about it, I would be angry if they did not tell me.

I've actually been in this exact position! It was horrible. My husband and I were best friends with this couple. She was cheating on him with another one of his best friends. She had many other issues besides that though..at first I didn't know what to do. Finally it got to the point she was doing it in their house with her husband right outside. I couldn't take it anymore and we told him. He had already been suspecting it so it didn't come as a total shock. I think we did the right thing. If he had found out that we had known all along and not said anything to him would've been a killer. It's one thing to keep to your own business and not butt in but when someone is lying and cheating, the other person has a right to know.

Yes. But first, I'll confront the cheating person and make them tell their spouse about it themselves. If they continue to be evasive/secretive, I'll tell my friend about it myself. I mean, better that they hear it from me, who care about them, than from some random person who might not even know who they're telling it too. Worse if it was said accidentally or something. It will hurt, yes, but they will get hurt either way, and I would really rather that they hear these things from either the source (they deserve honesty after all... not to mention a little chance to be angry at face value), or someone who cares about them enough to be a shoulder to cry on (and/or beat the other party up pretty badly). In regards to "not meddling on the affairs", I don't really care that I might be stepping on some toes, or making a mess of things. There are things that I will not allow to continue to happen to people I care about, and being cheated on is one of them. Obviously, that's pretty selfish of me, but if my friend's spouse can cheat on them once, what's to stop them from cheating again if it remains a secret? And I just have a real big aversion to people who cheat I guess, but, ugh. I dislike disloyal people. A lot.

I started hanging out a little with a friend of my parents. She is actually closer in age to me but became friends with my parents because her husband and my dad work together. Their kids are the same age as my kids. Shortly after I found out that her husband cheats on her with other women. My first instinct was to tell her because I would want someone to tell me. i couldn't believe that everyone knew but no one told her. (Kind of like Dale on King of the Hill) But then after spending time with her I saw why. She is head of heals for her husband. They have two kids together and a home and he provides well for his family. Even though what he is doing is wrong, it would be punishing her to tell her and totally destroy her world.

Dear friend, I would tell it and more over try to solve it as I am afraid if my friend comes to know by himself it may be more worse and if he continues and the cheating goes on too in future we cannot predict any. Hence I would either make it a peaceful settlement or just inform my friend and make sure he is not cheated further and request him to control himself and take the life as a challenge.

There are two schools of thought on the matter. I discussed this matter with someone and she stated she would wonder why the fiend was telling her. Anyway I found myself in a position like that. I went to a function and so my best friends fiancee with someone else. I froze then went up to him and said Hi how r u. Everything ok. He was stunned and didn't know what o do. Then finally said I am ok. We left it at that. Today they r happily married after 15years. Up to now I wonder if I handled the matter correctly.

Lots of great replies here. I know exactly what I would do. If I were good friends with both of them, I would confront the cheater and let them know I know. I would tell them they need to confess to their spouse or I would do it myself. I would give them a time frame and stick to the plan. If I didin't know the cheater that well (or didn't trust they wouldn't harm me for telling) I would go directly to my friend and gently let her know. I would never hesitate to tell, even though I would take the chance my friend may lash out at me. I know how the dynamics of these situations work. I agree that if you stayed silent and the cheated on spouse found out you knew all about it and didn't tell, they would be angry with you. It can be a no win situation but at least my conscience would be clear. I believe there is a right and wrong thing here. If they already knew and just didn't want to face it - so be it. If they know and perhaps have an open marriage - so be it. If they didn't know and it's unacceptable - so be it. I did my part.

if this happens, i think i will tell my partner how i feel about it and ask for advice on the matter.

I would let their spouse know that I know what is going on and that he/she needs to figure out what he/she wants. Yeah you want to run and tell your friend but at the same time wouldn't it be nice ever she never ever found out? All it is going to do with hurt her really bad if there was a chance of him/her to just stop cheating and that be the end of it. Ofcourse this probably would only happen in lala land. So I guess tell the husband/wife that they need to tell your friend before you tell her and let them know that if you have to be the one that tells her then chances of them two working things out are slim.

I don't think it is someone else's place to tell them that their partner is cheating. I have seen the situation go badly on several diferent occasions. You may bear the brunt of the anger being the bearer of bad news. If they work through it, one of them may resent you. If you do decide to tell I think the best way is to tell your friend that you are concerned about him/her and that he/she should needs to have a serious converation with their significant other.

I too have been in this situation...I told and our friendship was never the same but that was because I was young and thought she should leave him and she didn't want to so I was kicked to the curb....If she was ever really your friend you would tell her! You tell her what you know, what the source is and that you are there for her and supportive of whatever actions she may or may not take...And if she was your friend she would thank you for being honest and being there for her...It is none of your business otherwise and you let her come to you when she needs you...

This is a no win situation, if you got a married couple that is your friends, and you see one of them cheating on the other one, and you say something it is all going to come back on you. Now if you don't say anything and they find out you know then they ask what kind of friend are you and go off mad. So either way they are mad, especially the one you ratted on. If they was my very best friend, I don't think I could sit back and watch this happen to my best friend. Maybe I would take them to where I know the cheating was going on and let them catch them their selves, that way I did not tell and I guess I would still be the rat in the other's eye, like i said a no win situation here.

Hi! Yes, I will tell my friend if I have evidence because I care for her/him. But only once that I would tell my friend and if she/he won't believe me then that's it. I will not meddle in their personal lives again. Usually that is the case if a concerned friend tells a friend when their partner is cheating, they don't believe it. What's important to me is that I have been honest and I tried to help my friend. Ciao!

It is a good thought to discuss. If you are really a friend I think it is your duty to correct your friend where he is wrong due to which the family affairs can turn into mess. If do not comes to the terms then tell him to either break with you and be ready for the consequences. Secondly what type of cheating you are not clear.If it relates to adultery then the things can become worst.

I will never do this. It is not strange that it often happen. But don't interfere other's life. Every resule has its cause, perhaps the cheating one is not the only one to blame. If you tell it to the other spouse, the spouse can't forgive because it is known by others. Let the couple handle this kind of thing themselves.

I wont tell my friends husband, coz even though we were friends, their relationship its none of my business. However I will encourage my friends to stop the affair and be honest with her/his spouse, and advice her/him to be more royal in marriage.

yes, I would tell it to my friend's husband. I don wanna be unfair just because he/she is my friend. I value so much the concept of a family and I dont wanna see someone destroying their own family. Its a gift of God that each and everyone should be happy and value. I hope you got the righ decision. Goodluck!