School Bully, Could I have made a difference?

This kid has no respect for anybody, including himself so nothing you could have done would have changed anything about him. His parents or mother is the problem, she's fueling him to lash out at others. He needs a man to talk with him, not to him so he doesn't feel like he's being scolded. Firm but directional, it sounds like the unionized school won't do anything anyway. They are just waiting until he's out of their hair and they probably deal with him a few times a day and with the same downward spiral direction. I'll bet the'd do something if he was bullying the principls kid. Does the school have a counselor that he could talk with? Someone needs to help this kid and change his direction in life.

I really don't think you could have had any kind of impact on this boy unless you had had the opportunity to work with him daily for quite a while. This boy has obviously learned to be mean and sneaky at home and he's only going to get worse now that he's older. As far as small town cops sticking together...I hear ya, live in a small southern town myself...but there comes a time when they can't cover up or ignore a problem like an abusive teenager. I would encourage you to report every incident that involves your kids to the school and, even if they can't do anything, insist that it be put in writing. You could also talk to the School Board, Superintendent of Schools, anyone you can about this boy's bullying. Find out what anti-bullying legislation, if any, is in effect in your state and continue to go up the food chain if there are laws that are being violated when it comes to this kid. And, I think your daughter should start sitting behind this boy so that he can get hit in the back of the head when he hits someone else.

Many of these children who bully do it because they have been victims of bullies, or they are being abused by someone. Some of them do it because they have never been taught never to bully others. I caught my own nephew pushing a child down the steps of one of the play places at one time, and I gave the boy a good yell, don't think that I did not because what he did to that boy was wrong. I did not hit him, but I raised my voice to him to tell him that it was wrong. Children have to be taught when they are young that bullying is not right.

There should be cameras on the buses. That way even if the bus driver doesn't see it, the camera will. A kid used to mess with my oldest daughter. Kick her, grab her books and throw them, etc. We tried to talk to the mother but she had given birth to an angel (more like demon spawn) and we ended up having to call the police. No one bothered my daughter after that. We just wanted to send a clear message and we did.

Oh no that is horrible. It really bugs me to hear that schools are not doing anything about it. Kids should feel safe at school and not scared. If you know other parents that have kids that have been bullied, how about joining hands and then bringing this subject to the school again. If the school cannot do anything for one parent, I doubt they would say the same if a group of parents complained about the same thing. I would not let down if I knew my kids were being bullied. It is sad to see this little boy at such a young age trying to peek into the bathroom. He maybe acting out in need of attention. It also suck that the local cops are on the boy side, maybe that is why he can continue to bully and never get in trouble. I hope you find a way to protect your kids. You are not wrong to think of protecting your kids first.

just a question,,,many children saw what happened right???except an adult??? does it mean an adult has to see this happening first before they react???? are the children words not enough to do something about the bully?just a question...

I live in a small town so I know what you mean about the cops sticking together! I think the parents of the kids need to get organized, go to the school principal, and demand that something is done to protect their children on this bus. Even if the bus driver didn't see it there are still lots of witnesses to his behavior. The group might even consider threatening a lawsuit against the school for not protecting their children. At the very least, the boy should not be allowed to ride the bus. As for your earlier experience with him, it might have made some difference if you had been more understanding, but then again it may not have! It sounds like the poor kid has had a rough time at home. We can't go back and change history, though, so you need to concentrate on taking care of the problem at hand.

I think you need to present yourself at some sort of PTA meeting or even take it to the school board. I can understand the school not doing anything about it if they dont have any proof and they've only had one problem with the boy, but he seems to be torturing these children on a daily basis. It's ok though because hes at the age where he is about to enter high school. I think it would do him some good if he got his butt kicked by an upper classman.

I don't think you are wrong at all. The boy's bullying behaviour doesn't come from your way of trying to protect your daughter. You are doing the right thing by not allowing the boy to enter the toilet together with your daughter. And you also did the right thing to the boy, by not letting him peep your daughter through the toilet's door. I think his behaviour originated from his parents. I have read somewhere but I forgot which publication, the writing stated that bullies are made from a child who is too controlled by the parent, especially the mother. Let me give you a scenario, if you don't mind. There is a boy who lives with his mother. He has no father because his parents are divorced. So in the house there are nobody else that carries the biggest responsibility but the mother. On the other hand, the mother acts as if the son doesn't have a brain of his own. She likes controlling her son up to the extent that the boy couldn't make even a small decision by himself. He is not allowed to do anything unless approved by his mother. AND whatever the son said, will be condemned by the mother, or in other words the mother always wants to win in the conversation. There has never been a two way conversation between the two. So what do you think the boy will end up being? He would channel his anger towards his mother to other people whom he thinks he can have control of. That's why he likes bullying because in his mind he is actually paying back to his mother, not the person he's bullying. I am worried maybe this boy of your case here is having a more severe mental abuse from his parents. He seems so vengeance to me. He couldn't accept even a little criticism, for example when you explained that he couldn't go into the toilet with your daughter, and not allowing him to go into the toilet. He started harming your dog. I think you better watch out because when he grows older, it is not impossible that he will be involved in a more serious case than bullying. I suggest that he sees a psychiatrist. But I understand, things are better said than done. We don't know whether his parents could accept if you tell them to bring their son to the psychiatrist. Or maybe you can talk to the 'father' from your church (priest?)- sorry I am not familiar with your religion so I am just guessing. Maybe you can ask a favor from the priest to go and talk to the boy or something. Or maybe you could bring this case to community's society or something. All the above are just suggesions. It may help but it may not help too. I am nobody to give you any advice, but I am just trying to help. I really hope that you will be able to overcome this problem, as I am worried too that the boy would start harming others if his problem is not solved in the nearest time. Have faith, and may god be with you always. Take care. Adios, this is me ladysurvivor.

Oh, by the way showing this child kindness I doubt would work. I use to have one just like him across the road from me, they moved about a month ago. It was one of my horrible neighbors that I told you all about. I ws kind to this child but he was severely ADHD and his mother had a hard time getting him to take his meds, most of the time he would not. But conditions at home for him and his sister were and I'm sure still are very bad and volitaile. I felt bad for the children and tried being kind to them. All it got me and my grandchildren was grief, everytime they were around.

This is a hard thing for children to deal with. I do know that since you have witnesses, if you know the boys name you can make a police report since the school won't do anything. The boy and your will have to go to court, but maybe this will dampen this other boys activities for bad behavior if someone presses charges against him. We have had this problem before and told the school and the childs parents if something wasn't done we were going to a higher authority over the child. Which meant the police. The school finally did something and made sure the children were separated on the bus and my grandchild sat next to the bus driver. The other child was assigned a seat also that it was the only place he could sit. Where the bus driver could keep a better eye on him. It is hard for these drivers they do need to watch the road but also our children are put into their hands for a couple of hours a day and we need to know they are safe. My granddaughter was being "bothered" everyday in a malicious way from another girl, even on the bus. I put a stop to it by telling the school they had better do something that I wanted the childs parents to know what she was doing and that it will not be tolersted any longer. If they and the school did not do something I would go higher on this also. They have helped in both situations after I put it to them like it was. Best of luck to you and let me know what happens please.

I doubt you showing him some kindness would have done much good because he still would have been going home to that environment. That is a shame. Has anyone considered calling Children Services instead of the police? I think it is bull that the school can't do anything to him if they don't seem him do it. If they have that many kids that saw him do it they should take all their statements. Hopefully your kids can just stay away from him. If the school won't do anything I don't know what else you could do.

Although I love many things about small towns that is not one of them. We had a boy like that in the town where I grew up and he ended up being hired by the local police department and one would have thought they would have known better than to do that. So much for protecting the people. Well, no, one person's kindness is not going to change this kind of person, and seriously, if it were me I would consider moving away and/or home schooling. Clearly the officials have no intention of making this situation better.

I think that you should at least get the parents of the children who were bullied by the same kid to file a complaint at the school or at least have that kid's parents called to meet with the school officials and you. I really found it disturbing that someone who is already 15 years old still bullies kids aged 9 or younger. I just hope the school would act on this immediately.