Will You Share Money With Your Parents?
By highlyclever
@highlyclever (1111)
United States
August 27, 2008 4:38pm CST
This topic may evoke some very strong feelings... depending upon how you feel about your parents. I simply pose the question out of curiosity for the responses...
One common thing that I hear from people at some point in the course of talking about money is that they would like to earn enough to share with their families and to take care of their parents.
I see families here in the States where, after the children move out of the home, it sometimes happens that the grandparents move in... because they have reached an age where they need someone to care for them.
So what are your thoughts? When you earn money, do you think about using that money to take care of your parents?
4 people like this
27 responses
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
28 Aug 08
Yes I will and I have already and will do it again. I love my parents with all of my heart although we didn't always get along, we do now but sometimes I wonder how long it will last "this time" but it doesn't change my love for them and wanting to help when it's needed just like they'll help me when I'm in need of help.
1 person likes this
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
Feelings change as people change and as situations change. It is good that now you find that you are able to get along with your parents, and that you are able to help them out as they need assistance.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@kellys3ps (3723)
• United States
1 Sep 08
We essentially share money with my mother since we allow her to live with us. We do not give her much money of her own because a judge ordered that we can't - she does not spend money wisely.
1 person likes this
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
a judge ordered that we can't Yikes! Well, I suppose that you do what you are able to do then, with giving her a place to live, and finding other ways of taking care of her - such as with food or clothes or things of that nature. There are so many other ways to help people out - other than to just give them money, especially if they are not able to handle money wisely on their own.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
28 Aug 08
I do help my mother as much as I can, sometimes more. I love her very much and don't want her to want or need for anything. I send her money every month to help out and when I visit her I leave her money as well as do some shopping for her, food or whatever she says she needs or wants.
As for my father he passed away a few years ago. Before he did though I bought all of his medicines and his wifes. I bought them furniture and paid off their 2nd mortage so my dad would not have to worry about it. I bought them food and things as well as sent them money all the time.
I feel we should help our parents if they need it. They took care of us when we were coming up, well some parents don't. My dad never did. But he was still my dad. I helped more than most would.
1 person likes this
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
It sounds as though you have been very active and very busy in taking care of the needs of your parents! And you certainly seem to have gone above and beyond in terms of what most people do - at least from the types of stories that I have heard.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
@melanie1208 (133)
• United States
28 Aug 08
Sometimes, it depends on culture, background, and the way your parents brought you up. In Philippines, our culture dictates that, if you earned enough, you can share or sometimes oblige to take care of your siblings, parents and well sometimes relatives ! As for me, I still send money to my parents, because thats the way I wanted it. They are old and I don't want them to work so hard everyday to feed themselves. I became a parent myself, and I know the feeling when your children do simple things for you...it just melts your heart away. And I wanted to make my parents life as happy and contented as much as possible for the remaining days they have here on earth.
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
I am personally familiar with some Filipinos, and so I am aware of this culture and in particular the expectation among Filipinos of sharing their earnings to care for their relatives. And it is not a grudging sort of thing; the people that I know actually do want to do it - in response for everything that their parents and family has done for them.
Congratulations to you and best wishes for your family!
@trisha_nava82 (1379)
• United States
28 Aug 08
I would want to share my money if I earned a significant amount of money, enough to share with some family members. I would most definitely share with my family. I think with more so of my mother than my father. Just because I believe that my mother would need more help then he does and she would put good use to the money then he would. I also say that because my father and I really don't have a good enough of a father daughter relationship. I would share with him some money though. I always wanted to get to that point of sharing money with my mother and my father just to help them out. And because just for them being there for me all the time and for the things that they have done for me in the past. And they have always helped me out in the past when I needed their help and I know in the future if I needed help, then they will continue to help.
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
It is interesting that you bring up the relationships of mothe-daughter and father-daughter in this discussion. I am probably the opposite of you, as a son, having a better relationship with my father.
So many children see the opportunity to help their parents in a time of need as an opportunity to return in gratitude what the parents gave throughout the years of bringing their children up to be the people that they are today.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@cet1987 (209)
• Malaysia
28 Aug 08
for me, it is a must to share money with my parents.. if even our parents are still working and richer than us, it is our responsibility to share our money with them.. just give a little amount is enough if you don't have a lot of money... the amount of money would not give any meaning to them. they just want their children to remember them and take a good care of them..
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
I hear many people echo this same point of view - that sharing money with parents is simply an unspoken expectation. What you contribute, though, is the idea that it is not the actual amount of money that matters; it is more the thought of gratitude that counts.
Thanks for contributing!
1 person likes this
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
I won't deny anything from my parents..I would share with them anything..my money, my time..whatever they need. I owe them my life and they took care of my me and gave me everything I needed and with that I would do the same..Not only for them but for my sisters and brothers as well and their families. I am the youngest in the family and now I have my own family as well with my husband and 5 kids and I think giving and sharing to others your blessings in life gains you more blessings as well. I would never ever put my parents in a nursing home or in the aged homes to be taken care of by others. If they need me I am always here for them and I think every son and daughter should be there for their parents as well even if they are very old. My parents are both around 80+ and they will always be loved and cared for by me and my sisters and brothers and our families will stick together in good or bad times even if we age to a 100.
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
It sounds like you have a deep love and a deep respect for your parents, as well as for the rest of your family... Wow! 5 kids! I think that you also set an example for your children in your dealings with your parents...
Nursing homes generally have a negative perception. Sometimes - depending on the home of course - nursing homes can also be positive, especially if an elderly relative has needs that nobody in the family is really equipped to care for. But each family weighs this decision for themselves, and if your parents don't need it - then good for them and good for you, too!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
So many people share your point of view. Their parents made sacrifices and helped them to achieve and to reach their current status in life, and so many feel that it is only right to share back with their parents for all of their contributions. And how could it ever be measured - as though parents could ever be repayed for what they have done for their children?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@rustantl (258)
• United States
28 Aug 08
Oh wow yes if either one of my parents or step parents came to me saying they need money for something or just to stay at our house i would not even think twice about helping them I mean after all they did it for me right? I don't think i could turn them down for anything!
1 person likes this
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
You have a very enthusiastic reply!
I suspect that sometimes, though, parents may not be as forthcoming about their need for money with their children. Perhaps it depends on the relationship between parents and children?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Best wishes with you and your parents!
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
I know of several places where the children share a business with their parents. It is a common story, where the children carry on the family business... although this may not be what you are saying?
Certainly, children who love their parents want to do what is best for their parents, taking care of them when they have need.
Thanks for sharing your reply!
@sharie16 (2212)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
yes...and right now, i am currently working and established a small business and do share some to my parents...it's such a good feeling sharing some of your blessings..not just to my parents or siblings but also to those less fortunate ones...a little penny can be a help to those who are needy...
Have a nice day! God bless!
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
They say that one of the lessons of the rich that is so very important is the lesson about "giving back" - which can take a variety of forms. As you find success with your business and are able to share the fruits of that success with others - congratulations to you! Best wishes, and thanks for replying to my discussion!
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
I think that you find yourself with a special connection to your mother and a special feeling of a need to care for her - since the separation took a vital support away from her.
Thanks for sharing your comments!
@mikinikih (201)
• United States
28 Aug 08
I currently try to help my parents out, and I have for the last decade or so since I moved out. Statistics say it costs over $100,000 to raise a child (from birth to 18, not including private education, college, or wedding costs). I think it is my duty to help them. Right now they are both employed, but only for a few more years. And with my dad having Parkinson's, I imagine his healthcare costs will need some assistance in the future. They have done and will do the same for me whenever they are able, too. I think it all falls under the commandment of "honor thy mother and father". This all applies to my mother-in-law, too (father-in-law not in picture, and hasn't been since MIL was pregnant).
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
The figures are astronomical, and the cost of diapers alone is staggering.
It is good for you to have such a relationship with your parents and your mil. Parkinsons is a tough disease, but I'm sure that if he is able to get in touch with a good neurologist, he may find some help and relief...
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
This is probably why holidays like Mother's Day is so popular for many people - sharing things with their mothers brings them much joy - and is also a way of saying "thank you" for all of the love and care that mothers have given over the years.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
@youless (112481)
• Guangzhou, China
28 Aug 08
Although my parents are richer than us. However, even month I still give them money. I think it's a way to show my appreciation to them. They have sacrificed to bring me up and love me. I am grateful to have such good parents. It's no problem for me to share my money with them.
I love China
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
Giving back is often hailed as a commendable virtue. I believe that it is good to show appreciation to your parents for what they have done for you.
I read about an earthquake in China recently. I hope you and your family are well!
Thanks for responding to my discussion.
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
28 Aug 08
Dear friend,
I like with my parents and most of the bills are also paid by my salary. I do share my money with my parents. As I know I here like this only because of them and they had given me money and more than their care and love which money cannot give. Hence I feel really happy to spent my money for my parents.
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
The situation is perhaps different for those who live with their parents when it comes to the question of whether it is a good idea to share money with your parents. They gave money and their care in order to bring you up and make you who you are today - and their love certainly is more than can be measured in monetary amounts.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with my discussion!
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
28 Aug 08
i would help them any way i could.
1 person likes this
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
29 Aug 08
I believe that you would. And sharing money with parents is not the only way to help them. The time may come when parents need help with transportation, or even with very basic needs where they are no longer able to take care of themselves. Best wishes to you - and thank you for replying to my discussion!
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
28 Aug 08
I really do. I pains my heart when I see them in need of money. I always share what I have to keep up their needs specially that they are not young anymore.And yes I am willing to take them in my home when they can not manage themselves and need assistance. But at this point, though they are older they are still very active and wouldn't want to leave their house to join with us. But sure, I think is the responsibility of the children to take care of their parents as what they did to us when we were young.
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
I think many people do not want to see their parents in need, especially if their parents did so much for them in their childhood. Many parents find it tough to move in with their children, because they so highly value their independence... I know some people who were driving cars into their 90s!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
30 Aug 08
I know many people who share this hope. They would like to provide for parents in their old age, and take care of parents who cared for their children. Striving for the best is the most that any child can do for a parent.
Cheers!
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
1 Sep 08
That is a good point. For many people, their parents gave them the opportunities and made the sacrifices necessary that allowed their children to grow into the people that they are today. How important it is, then, to give back in gratefulness for what parents have done!
Thanks for your reply!