Would you marry a person you did not love?
By sunkissed
@sunkissed (4330)
United States
August 27, 2008 9:27pm CST
Would you ever marry a person that you are not in love with? I have heard people say that they are marrying someone for convience.Others say they are getting married to a person for money,others say it is because they are lonly and tired of waiting for the right person to come along,or because they need help with raising their children,etc. Well to me none of these reasons are good enough. I have been divorced for 19 years, I am not worried about getting married, it is not that big of a deal to me.I sure would never marry a person that I did not truly love.
2 people like this
17 responses
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
28 Aug 08
definitely no... why would i do that and suffer for the rest of my life living with the person that i didn't love??? i can't understand that... for me, God created the sacred marriage institution for human to express their love to each other... but now it had been commercialised by many people for money, business, etc... and i think it is not right at all to do that... love should be the base of all marriages... take care and have a nice day...
2 people like this
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
30 Aug 08
lingli, you are right, God did intend for people to marry when they are in love. But today people do not honor the scancity of marriage, thus we have so many divorces.love should be the base of all marriages.
@SuckerUpper (468)
• United States
16 Jun 09
Well I was not born within a culture where arranged marriages are the norm so, no I do not think I could marry someone I wasnt in love with. Im not sure if you mean love or in love because you can love a friend and not be IN love with them, and if for whatever reason I needed to help a friend my marrying them, I would most likely do it. Although I don't really see that ever happening.
These days marriage is no longer a trully sacred thing. People go through husbands and wives like they change clothes it seems. It is really quite a shame.
xoxo
@leinah (1)
• Philippines
20 Oct 08
leinah
i wouldnt recommend getting into and inside a marriage until you are truly in love and not just because theres a responsibility involve such as, giving the child your name. that is for the sake of the child, I was miserably married for 10 years now living in a circle of responsibility where i have never been happier all my life. 10 years of miserable life but do you know why i get along its because i have a TRULY love relationship outside my marriage for 9 years a year after i leave the country for work, up to now i have and thats keep me going, that love gave me strength, and she was always there for me, but now she's trying to marry a person who she doesnt love at all, and i am trying to save her from the misery i am having. AM i doing the right things. help me on this 2 months from now.
@jay2008 (16)
• Philippines
29 Aug 08
Me to i would not marry the woman that i don't love..Marriage is forever and not a game if we find someone to be part of our life it should be the person that we love...Marrying a person that you don't love it will make your life suffer and even the woman much more hurt...time to time she well feel that we are cold...and no feelings...I would not marry a woman that i don't love...
2 people like this
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
30 Aug 08
jay, you are right, if you do not love this person, the feelings are not there and it will be a cold marriage with no feelings.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
28 Aug 08
No I would never marry someone I was not in love with. I often wonder about people that do and do not know how they can because I would hate it. I want to marry and be in love! I would have hated being born in the times where marriages were arranged according to status and for financial gain for the family it must have been hard for young people back then to live like that.
2 people like this
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
28 Aug 08
gemini, I can not for the life of me, see how people can marry if they do not love one another, it would be a missearble life.I too would hate for others to choose whom I would have to marry, I am afraid the marriage would not last too long!!
1 person likes this
@dragonstar1 (330)
•
29 Aug 08
I don't think so, it not fair on anyone to be unhappy.
I don't believe in monogamy either, even though I'm in a long term monogamous relationship.
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
30 Aug 08
No it is not fair to anyone, and you will not be happy. But i do believe in monogamy.
@gne925 (80)
• Philippines
29 Aug 08
I guess it is so hard to be sleeping and living with someone you didnt love... although some does it for practical reasons and would just say that they can learn to love the person eventually. For me, I dont think so... maybe there are some who was able to make it in this kind of relationship but I doubt if they would have feel the true happiness in their hearts... i guess it might just end up in separation.
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
30 Aug 08
I am like you, I caould never take this chance of falling in love with this person later. I can not sleep with a person I do not love.
@playmateshorty (365)
• United States
29 Aug 08
i know most people say they wouldn't, but everything and everyone has a price...
i dunno it would be hard to say, maybe if it benefited me and my children.
oh gosh, people hate me already. im just being honest.
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
30 Aug 08
No I do not hate you for being honest, to each their own. But I could not do it. I lived in a loveless marriage years ago, will never do it again, it is very misserable.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
28 Aug 08
No, because now that I know what love is like, and I have felt what it is like to be so in love that I would not want to be with anyone else, I would never think of marrying someone that I did not love.
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
28 Aug 08
You are right, if you have never experienced true love, you do not understand how powerful the feelings are.I too could never marry unless I was truly in love.
1 person likes this
@ajesh_pullad (2251)
• India
28 Aug 08
Hi sunkissed, i am single. I think i have to wait for more than 3 more years. Anyway i am not hurry.
I know some couple they live a life for the sake of somebody . I may or may not marry i girl i don't love. But i won't marry a girl that never loves me.
2 people like this
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
28 Aug 08
Hi ajesh,glad to know you are not in a hurry to get married, some people just rush into marriage.I hope you do not marrt a girl you do not love, you would not be very happy..
1 person likes this
@dementia88 (900)
• United States
28 Aug 08
no i would never. i dont understand how you can and not love someone. is money that importnant.does it over ride all the could be fun and excitment you could have if you loved the person youmarried.
2 people like this
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
28 Aug 08
I can not understand how people would marry for money either.To me it is not that important.I would feel too misserable.
1 person likes this
@myliezl0903 (2726)
• Philippines
29 Aug 08
hi sunkissed! of course not., i will never marry someone i am not inlove with.,it is a must that once i get married i want to someone i truly love and care.,cause for me it is better to live in to someone that you knew well and you love so it is really a MUST.,Ü
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
29 Aug 08
I don't believe that I would. I have been married for almost 19 years and have been with my husband for 23 years, and I was truly and still am in love with him. I can't imagine sharing a life with someone you don't love. People are hard to live with, even if you do love them. I can't imagine putting up with someone's crap that I didn't love. 
1 person likes this
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
30 Aug 08
lady, You are right, it is hard enough living with a person that you do love, can you just emagine all the stress and tention in a house with no love/
@sweetie1026 (1718)
• Philippines
29 Aug 08
I agree with you on that. I too, will never marry a person i do not love.I have been seperated for 15 yrs. now and i never have considered getting married again or living in with anyone at that. I do go on dates but i am not considering settling down again, though i fear growing old alone but i will not marry just for convenience or anything else. I will marry because i love the person. I could not imagine myself being committed to a person that i do not love.
1 person likes this
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
30 Aug 08
sweetis, well you sound a lot like me. I have been divorced 19 years. I have been in a longterm committed relationship for 10 years, But I will not move in or marry anyone. I would however live with a person first before I considered marrying them.But it would have to be for love.
@krissh4all (269)
• China
28 Aug 08
hey friend.!!
i will not marry with other whom i don't love..because its a matter of life..!!
u should choose a partner whom u love very much.!
thanks for sharing
keep lotting
2 people like this
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
28 Aug 08
krissh,i am like you, iwould not marry someone i did not love either.
1 person likes this
@GemmaR (8517)
•
28 Aug 08
I take marriage very seriously, you are making promises before God, so to marry someone you didn't truely love would be extremely irresponisble.
I couldn't do that to myself anyway, I don't like the idea of being tied to one person forever, so if I ever did get married, it would have to be to someone who I really loved with all my heart.
1 person likes this
@ptrem475 (20)
• United States
29 Aug 08
I also take marriage very seriously. When you make that promise before God, you are committing your life and your love to someone. You are not just saying words, you are deciding to love someone for the rest of your life. If you cannot make that decision every day, you should not be getting married. I would love to get married. But I will not fall in love with the idea of being in love, I want to marry someone that I should be with, by God's plan, not because of my petty, changing feelings. I could not marry a person just for "love", I want to marry someone that I could decide to love, every day.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
28 Aug 08
No, I would not marry a person I did not love but for that, I need to know how it feels to love someone. While all the reasons you mention for people marrying without love are true, in my country India, millions marry without ever experiencing true love. Societal pressures, parental consent, family links, financial positions…so many factors play their part in the choice of a bride and the groom. Arranged marriage is alive and kicking in India and it is said that as per our tradition, you fall in love post-marriage…with your spouse.
PS: most boys & girls I see these days in India celebrating Valentine’s Day as such are plain and simple infatuated with each other and their short-lived freedom. Most would (when time comes) go ahead and marry the spouse chosen by their parents and approved by the extended family.
1 person likes this
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
28 Aug 08
I am like you, I could not marry without love either, I need to be loved and give love to someone else.I have heard of these arranged marriages, and I am so glad that I have not had to experience this. I would never want another person to choose whom I will marry.
1 person likes this
@Ammudoll (549)
• India
16 Jun 09
Marrying a man whom u never loved is like hell, both of us can't live happily. I can not compromise in such matters. If I don't like him then I'll just quit and will wait for the one. But anyways it will not happen to me because I am already engaged and my parents said OK :)
