Husband working abroad

@pehpot (4762)
Philippines
August 27, 2008 11:08pm CST
My husband says that his company might want him to work in the US for 6 months. Now that would be hard for us because from the first time we had our relationship the longest time that we have been apart was 3 weeks. His company sent him to US for 3 weeks and also in India for 2 weeks. I could remember well that it was the most lonely part of our life. I can't live without my hubby and so is the kid. I told him if it will be ok if we just join him, or if the company would allow it, I told him it's ok even a year just make sure that we were together, where ever country it could be.
6 people like this
14 responses
• China
28 Aug 08
I understand your mood,my friend,You are afraid of lonely because you love your husband very much.But it does not matter,true love is trust and concern no matter how far you are.I believe your husband also miss you and your kids.Take care of yourself and support your husband.Everything he do is all for your family.Hope you live better and enjoy the sweet love from your husband!
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
1 Sep 08
Thanks! almost a week after I post and still no words from the company
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
It's not a matter of trust but being alone, I can't think of days without cuddling him
• China
29 Aug 08
Imagine,imagine and imagine.Feeling the warm from your husband.Everything will be ok!
1 person likes this
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
28 Aug 08
I certainly understand where you are coming from. My husband and I had only been married 5 weeks and the Air Force sent him and his group to Thailand for 6 months. We had an apartment which was almost 3 hours from my home and I was beginning a new job. I lived that 6 months by myself. And then, a couple years later, we lived in another state in the North of the US,and he was sent to Vietnam for another 6 months. That time, I moved home with my parents and worked until he got home. They sent us to Texas where he finally got out of the service. Both of those 6 month tours was terrible, but we made it through. I didn't have any children and was all alone. Hopefully, you will be able to come with him if he comes to the US.
1 person likes this
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
28 Aug 08
Oh, it was a shock and never was expected. You would think,since he had to get permission to get married from the military, that they would have told him that he might be shipped overseas soon. But he had NO idea until the evening before. We were sitting at the table eating supper and a fellow Air Force guy ran by the house to tell him he had to be on base at a certain time. He had to finish eating, dress and take off to the base. They had no idea why they were being called. He didn't come home until in the morning. He had only a few hours to pack and tell me that they were leaving and had NO idea where they were going. They were only given their orders in the plane. But that time they went to Thailand to help build a base. We got to see them off on the plane and didn't see them again for 6 months.
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
5 weeks? you did not even had a chance to enjoy each other. oh well I am glad it's over for you and do hope that he would bring us along or just turn down the request
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
1 Sep 08
must be really shocking on your part.
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
Yes that would indeed be very hard for you to adjust being alone for 6 months. I doubt if the office could accommodate you since its for business but if you can afford to spend on your own might be possible to do that. I think that should be the next best thing and might be that you and your husband might decide to live there permanently.
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
Well if your husband is on a managerial level already they might consider it. But anyway just cross your finger on that one.
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
that would be financially impossible. he he he but high hopes for the company sending him with us
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
oh no there is a very little chance on that, he said t is ok to bring wife only, but 3 kids? nah
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Aug 08
hi pehpot your husband has a job so be grateful.if you and your child can go along too that will be fantastic but dear be so glad he has a job. I live with my son and he lost his job and as yet has not found another one. You can live without him if you have too as he will also be lonely. think of all the service people who have to live alone while their mates are in the service I am sure they get lonely too, butt they manage and so can you. god bless.
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
29 Aug 08
His job is here in our country but from time to time the company request him to go another country, which is most of the time he refused. He has been in his company for more than 4 years and only travel abroad twice, because he don;t want to leave us, but now I think their client is important and that is why he is having a hard time deciding.
@KUSHANK55 (2437)
• India
28 Aug 08
hi dear pehpot. i know your dilemma , and i understand your problem being young and with asmall kid. but be brave madam these are opportunities and the struggle for career is too high. one has to survive and win the competition!!. i know the us visit is going to be beneficial for both of you financially and career wise. and you know he will also miss you and the child!! and i bet your love will flourish more if you stay apart for these six months!!be brave!!
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
Thanks! it is not yet finalized but I am hoping that the company will allow him to travel with us.
@KUSHANK55 (2437)
• India
28 Aug 08
oh that will be too good dear!! all the very best!!
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
thanks
@CJay77 (4438)
• Australia
28 Aug 08
Hi, My husband travel a lot with his work also and the longest time that we been apart was 6 weeks and it is very difficult! There one time that company paid for us to relocate in one place. But most of the time it's my husband expenses to take me with him. I hope that you can join him because I know how hard to be away with our husband especially for 6 months, and it will be a good experience for you and your kid to be in another country.
1 person likes this
@CJay77 (4438)
• Australia
29 Aug 08
I agree nothing beats to be with your husband! Actually when my husband and I are been apart for 6 weeks I think half of his salary just went into phone bills, lol. Let's just hope and pray that your husband company will be nice to cover the expenses.
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
1 Sep 08
he he the same thing happened to us, when he was in the US they give him allowance and almost all the savings from the allowance went to phone bills
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
yeah I was thinking the same and hopeful that the company will shoulder the expense. It really is hard, but than goodness that nowadays communication is better and cheaper. but nothing beats being with him and cuddling your hubby right?
1 person likes this
@clover779 (698)
• Portugal
28 Aug 08
Well, that seems to be quite common these days. I have been away from home in the last 3 months, just going there for quite limited time. and obviously my family misses me, but I believe that I miss them much, since the place we call home is the best ;) - Believe me and I've been to China, France, Netherlands and Brazil in these last months, but I am just looking forward to go back home ;) Hang on there!
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
yup, oh well, nothing beats being at home and being with your love ones.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
28 Aug 08
Good idea. I sincerely wish that his company makes provision for you both to accompany him.Can't you just accompany him on a tourist visa or something if it is only for 6 months?I have no idea whatsoever.But whatever it is ,I shall pray that you are able to move in for the six months.You would definitely tag along.Do not worry.
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
29 Aug 08
I think it would be tourist visa, and I think also that it would be hard to apply for that kind, specially that we have three kids. And I just can't leave my kids. So I am still praying that he'll just turn down when the offer comes.
@ashar123 (2357)
• India
28 Aug 08
Well I have went through the same as my company (construction company) having their project far from my hometown where I am working in their Head Office posted me to their power plant project site in November, 2007. I stayed there till June, 2008. Life was so miserable because living without your family is very hard for everyone. I am very thankful to God that now I am back to my hometown and living with my family. You must have patience and think its only 3 weeks.
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
how i wish it would be that easy
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
28 Aug 08
That would be really hard and I definitely encourage you to do everything you can to make sure you are able to go with him. That's a long time to separate a family if it's not necessary.
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
29 Aug 08
yeah I hope so
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
It would be too lonely for your husband because he will surely miss you and the kids. And for you and your kids, you will certainly miss him so much. I believe if he as another option he could always turn down the offer for the sake of the family. Anyway, if he is already earning good enough for the family then why sacrifice for 6 months? That would be too long a perioed to miss the company of his beloved family. However, if he could bring the whole family then why not? That would be a very nice opportunity.
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
Yeah I was hoping for that too, that he could turn down the offer. I also told him that if he is willing to sacrifice 6 months then why not just apply for a job in abroad and work there for 2 years. I mean when he accept the 6 months offer the company would pay him the same (local salary) but if he would look for a job in abroad and stay there for two years (then they would pay him higher) but of course I still don't know, I still want to be with him no matter what. I am also asking him to just apply for an immigrant in some countries like Australia or New Zealand, they say opportunities there is better and easier to apply to.
28 Aug 08
In the last 5 years that I have been married to my wife I have been home for approximately a year and a half. It is very difficult, however there are sacrifices that some of us must make. I enjoy my career and my wife enjoys the money. It is something that we must deal with. By saying that you "can't live" without someone is just another way of saying that you are not as strong willed as you were raised to be. Think about it, you went how long in your life without this person? now you have to have them all the time? The reality is that you don't "WANT" to live without them. It is time to buckle down and decide if that is something you desire to do, because of money, good career, good benefits, whatever. Or if any of that is even important to you. My wife and kids get everything taken care of as far as medical and everything. That is one reason why I stick around, it is too expensive for health care other wise. Also I have a great retirement plan. It sucks now, but in the long run, my family will be better off. That is something you need to think about, the long run is more important than the short run. No pain no gain, remember?
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
29 Aug 08
Oh my! I have to say kudos to you! you really want your family to live an easy life, yeah you are right I don't want to live without him he he he. but I think we can manage, to him it is more important that we live together.
• United States
28 Aug 08
maybe your worried about him being unfaithful??? i dunno, just keep your head up and try to keep your family together, to avoid nasty mistakes, and loneliness
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
29 Aug 08
No I am not. I trust him I just can't bear the thought of being away from him, I love him so much!
• Singapore
28 Aug 08
u gotta have faith.and that's it...i'm sure it'll be fine
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
29 Aug 08
Thanks so much!