second time around gifts

I think it's not about the gift but rather your relationship with that person. If you are the best of friends with the person you are giving a gift to, even a small pen will be treasured. My advice is not to feel upset, if the item is still clean, just pick it up and you can use it yourself. No point wasting time and your emotions on people who don't value your friendship and gift.

I give the people that work under me a christmas gift each year and a couple of years ago one person turned right around after getting hers and gave it to someone else that works with us,I was upset at first but then thought if the other person was pleased with it what was I upset about so I let it go.Friends or friends and you will know who they are.You have a great night.

I have to admit to being very hurt when this happened to me years ago. I know it was unintentional but that did not make me feel any better. Having learned a lesson from that now when I receive a gift that I know I have no use for or just do not like I keep them in a closet with a sticky note on it who I received it from and then I shall not make the mistake of ever giving it back to that person.

One more thought on this. That is also the reason I have started giving gift cards for holidays, that way the person can get what they want, and while it may not be as personal, at least you don't make mistakes in someone elses taste, I love getting GC's myself.

It is called regifting after a famouse Seinfeld TV episode from many years ago. I would probably be unhappy if someone gave me a gift I had given them to think that I had chosen badly for them. I don't consider regifting to be inherently a bad thing as long as who the gift came from is recorded and one is careful to never give a gift back to the person who gave it to you. Other than that why keep something, or throw it out, that you don't like or have no use for when someone else might like it or have a use for it.

Since it is a gift, and when given, it becomes that person's property, it is up to them what they then do with it. I wouldn't be hurt, because it's their decision. If they wanted to give it to someone else who would treasure it more, then i would be happy. :)

i have a philosophy for myself... once i give something to other people, it doesn't belong to me anymore and they are free do to anything that they want to it... it is 100% their property now... so if they want to give it to other person or even throw it away, it is up tp them... in that way, i won't get too hurt or dissapointed if something like that happen to me... take care and have a nice day...

That's a bit rude for me. As far as I'm concerned, gifts should be treasured and kept. Whether it's big or small, they should be kept. Well, a gift is a symbol of thoughtfulness of others. Above all, it depends on the reason of the person who will give it.

Hi Hatley, I have very rarely received any gifts that I haven't loved but one year my friend who I know was totally skint wrapped a pink pashmina, baby pink, and this is one colour that makes me look really washed out which she knows so I was a bit suprised when I opened it, her favourite colour is baby pink and I think she saw it feel in love with it and wanted it for herself and got it for me instead bless, so I said to her, darling that is lovely but in a different colour it would suit you far more and gave it back and we had a giggle about it as she is a bit dizzy at times but if it had been a pressie from someone whose feelings would have been hurt by me doing this there is no way I would have given back, but one of the things this friend loves so much about me is my honesty. I think though most people would be upset but close friends do usually know your tastes so the unwanted gifts are usually secret santa type pressies and I will donate to a raffle for charity in that example rather than just throw out. Tha janitor though must have been very hurt to see it in the trash though. Huggles. Ellie :D

I don't see anything inherrently wrong with regifting. I've done it myself a few times when people have gifted me a perfume or other scented item i can't breathe around. Its just that one must make sure not to give it BACK to the person who gave it to you. It may cause hurt feelings. Me I tend to get things for people I think they'd like as well as I like it too..that way if it isnt liked They can give it back or have it returned and I'll find something else. More often than not I just say hey what would you like for your birthday etc and my family does lists for each other.

i guess anybody will get upset if you receive a gift that is actually the gift that you already given to somebody. i would be personally disappointed if this happen to me. if a person do not really want to receive a gift from me, and thought of sending it back to me, i guess it would be better to just throw that away in the trash. the painful thing there is you will know that the person dislikes it and then sending it back to let you know, really upsetting. (neildc @ red/89/1748)

Hi Hatley, That is so sad and hurtful. I feel so bad for the janitor. That is so mean! I think re-gifting is just not nice. If you don't like something you got from someone just take it and be quiet and thankful about it, but don't hurt someones feelings. If you don't want it don't let the person know about it. That's plain cruel. It's been done to me and it really hurts when you know someone doesn't like what you got for them after you spend your time and money trying to pick something out for them. There's been plenty of times that I didn't like what someone got for me, but I wouldn't tell someone that. I would just accept it gracefully and gratefully and never let them know that I didn't want it. As you said it is upsetting to have it done to you.

Gifts are precious in that the person giving in must had given it a lot of thoughts before purchasing it for the recipent. My take on this is that it is the thoughts that counts, and not about the worth of the gift. Coming to think about it, would any person purchase a gift for someone if there is no thoughts behind the choice of the gift? I doubt so. I for one would never purchase a gift (no matter if it's for someone's birthday or what) for someone who I don't think much of. If I were to buy a gift for someone, of course I would had put lots of thoughts into picking one for that someone and I would feel very hurt if the person didn't appreciate the thoughts behind the gift. And nevertheless, us being humans, all of us would have the same feelings too, right? I can just about understand the janitor's feelings when he found the christmas gift that he had given to someone in the trash. It is like finding that the person don't even appreciate the gift and think of it as trash. Even if he/she didn't like the gift, it is not so bad if he/she had given it away to someone who needs it more. For that, I can still understand the rationale behind the actions. But for the person to have thrown the gift away like trash, it just shows how thoughtless and ungrateful the recipent of the gift is! There is no excuse for that action.. and I can be very sure that the janitor won't be giving any more gifts to that person anymore.

hmm..if you gave a gift, it's up to the recepient what he/she will do with it. when you give a gift, you really don't have a say anymore, do you? if they give it away, it's their discretion. but if they throw it, initially, there is a disappointed feeling. but don't fuss over it. =) but if you decide not to give another gift, it's their lost. =) at least, you were thoughtful enough.

I have a Niece that I go through this with every Christmas and birthday. She never seems to like what I get her and so I have gotten into the habit of just giving her a gift card and letting her get what she wants. It's working out alot better. I think if ppl aren't sure about the gift they are picking out, gift cards are alot more sensible. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~

Hatley, I had this happen to me once. I usually don't care for orange, but I was shopping for Christmas presents, and ran across a beautiful orange ladies button up shirt. I wanted it but couldn't afford to buy two, so I purchased it for my Sister in Law, as that was the type of shirt she usually wore, not the color but the style. Well Low and behold 3 years later what do I get for Christmas, but the same shirt. At first I was stunned, then I was elated, I had the shirt I wanted to begin with. I never let on to her that I had given it to her, just told her I loved it which was the truth.Now if it had been a gift that I wasn't fond of for one reason or another, I think I would do the same thing, then regift it myself for a Birthday or Christmas, but I certainly would keep up with who gave me what if I were gonna do that, LOL. Blessings Marilyn

That is really rude. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth is what I say. If your friend didn't like the gift, they could have at least given it to someone who would appreciate it. I would say that my feelings would be hurt and I would never give that person anything ever again.

I think if you are going to regift something, you should be organized and have a list of who gave you what. In my case, I don't use a lot of personal items. Why I don't know, I just dont. Sometimes, I'll have stockpiles of perfumes (nice ones) in their original wrapping, or clothing items with tags I buy and then don't wear, costume jewelry, etc etc. In that kind of case, I'll go ahead and wrap up the perfume for someone, since it would probably go bad after a while anyway. But I always make a point to have a list on my computer of what I received and from who. It certainly avoids anyone getting hurt feelings. I got one better though, a friend of mine put some stuff she received on ebay, a friend of hers bought it (unknowingly) and then gave it to her for a present again! Now that was funny! Have a great day!

I will admit, I am guilty of regifting, but not to the same person that gave it to me...to a different person who doesn't run in the same circles as the person who gave it to me. If I will never use it, and I know someone who will, what is wrong with that? It will end up in a landfill if I keep it, so why not give it to someone who WILL use it?

I'd probably say something to her and more than likely never give her another gift.