He pizzed all over

Awww, try not to be so hard on him. One day he will be gone and you may find yourself wishing you had to clean up after him. http://parentswish.com/site01/big.html

Poor Bob, You are in a tough position.Seems at our age our parents become the children and we the parents. When my mother got so sick a few years ago, she was in a nursing home recovering from a broken leg, she also had Dementia. Then we found out she had thyroid cancer, so we decided she needed to be with one of us, we left it up to her and she decided to go with my sister, since she and my hubby didn't always geehaw. Well to make a long story short, my sis had another child on her hands. Like your dad she didn't want to get up and go to the BR and she had a potty seat right beside the bed. My sis has MS so that made it even harder on her. My Mom was a smoker, and the doc's said absolutely no smoking, so my sis would not give her any. Now I viewed that a little different, they already told us they couldn't operate, and there was no hope so why make her suffer even more, was just my opinion, and since she was with my sis it didn't count. I don't envy you what you are going through, nor what you will go through, I will say try to be patient with him like you were with your daughter when she was potty training and had accidents, you will appreciate that more when he passes. My sis has many regrets about the way she spoke to mom before she passed. I try to reassure her that it was hard, and mom would understand, but she beats herself up over it , three years after the fact. I hope this has helped and you will be in my prayers. Blessings Marilyn

No you are not wrong it is just like with a Child if they are not able to control the Bladder then they have a last Drink at certain times, it is not right that you have to keep cleaning it up Do you think it is through Laziness?

Wow, Grandpa Bob. It seems like you're 'caught between a rock and a hard place' here. Surely your dad realizes how much you do for him, and that he just needs to make that extra effort to go to the bathroom. I'm wondering if he's not drinking anything after 8:00 p.m., if ice chips would work okay? I know that's what they give women in labour, and I don't think they have to pee all of the time, with these. Another thing you could maybe try, would be to give him something to drink in a smaller glass/container after this time. Surely this would limit the amount of urine he's passing, while still being able to have his drink. I know for me, it'd be real hard for me to go that long without drinking anything. What a dilemma, and your poor carpet, not to mention all of the extra work for you. I hope you're able to get this satisfactorily sorted out, and please let us know of your progress. Take care friend. Hugs.

hi Grandpa Bob as I am the elder one here I couldnt make it without my water glass at bedtime. but I would take him to see his doctor to check out his voiding as he might have a prostrate problem that is causing that. also he should force' himself to get up and walk to the bathroom as a person empties his bladder much more in the bathroom than using a urinal. I used to work as a nurses aid so learned a few things. I sometimes wake and need to go and have to really hop to it so I do not dribble on the floor. I think this subject is harder on a male than on us females because our anatomy is so different. I dont think you are really wrong cutting down on his drinking at night but I wouldnt ban him having a glass of water handy if his throat gets dry. older people often have dry throats at night. I know his having had a stroke must make it more difficult too.thank goodness I havent had a stroke. I do take pretty good care of myself.

Hi there... Your father has raised a mighty good son in you. Though my circumstances are somehow different from yours in caring for my elderly mother, I'm sure there can not be anything wrong with a little regulation over the amount of what they take be it beverage or food. In my case, I have my mom take a little more softer food than what she's used to (or likes to) because she tends to choke on regularly cooked food. She isn't incontinent yet despite her age of 82 and can fairly walk around malls but she can tire easily and her asthma will give her a hard time when she gets home. She lives with me and so I tend to regulate the things she likes to do and I see somehow it affects her disposition so I just tame her activities down to as little as I can. The video shared here by one of your friends was very touching and it somehow makes me think of what I do to her or for her that might make her feel less appreciated of the life she still shares with us. I guess we shouldn't wrong ourselves for taking care of our parents as best way we know how. A good advise from friends thrown our ways is always appreciated. Happy mylotting...

woww grandpa bob... i feel for you... i know how hard it is to look after our elderly parents... i hope you will be able to find a solution to fix the situation soon so that you won't have to clean the carpet that often... and i don't think that you are being cruel for not letting your father to drink after 8 pm... may be you can let him have a sip if he is thirsty... but not a drink... good luck... take care and have a nice day...

I would suggest that you keep one or two additional urine can by the bed side and see that he uses these when one is over. This would anyday be better than cleanig up a heavy rug.Alternatively you can place the can in a large bucket and ask him to keep it inside. My fahter was a stroke patient for 19 years and the last few years he used a can. TH e last one and half year he was in bed and my mother looked after him.There was a can and a bucket in which this was placed. Whatever is there in your place , you can opt for. But if his beverage is cut down and he has a problem in flushing the system out properly this would lead to other different complications. CArpet cleaning IS very difficult but reduction in output may pose a worse problem. So, both problems should be kept in mind.

How about talking to the doctor about some desmopressin, it suppresses urine production. He could take it at night before going to bed. Then you make sure he gets up to pee in the morning before he has a chance to make a mess. Then he can drink in the evening, though I would cut out the take a drink to bed thing and it is a compromise for you both. Of course, this may not be allowed if Dad has a BP problem, but ask the doc. It can't hurt. And no, you are not being mean, maybe linoleum and an area rug maybe better.

Well I'm also a caregiver to a relative. Until you walk in the same shoes as we do I really think it would be unfair to be too judgemental. If the urine problem was a problem I'd say it may be time for a nursing home but based on what you say here sounds like a serious case of laziness, and brother do I know what you're going through. No you're not being mean but now a days with the way the law is here in Canada, if you even suggest that they sound have to clean the mess or if you limit the drinking before bed it's pretty much classed as abuse on the elderly. I flat out said, "There will no longer be drinking in the bedroom and if the mess continues you will have to be placed elsewhere." If that was abuse it's just to GD bad but I can tell you it took care of the situation for me. Good luck my friend. I hope like hell there's a place in heaven for caregivers!!!

No of course you're not wrong for forbidding that you father drink any liquids after a certain time. Ah, the delights of being a caregiver....how about this one....when I was taking care of my mother it wasn't accidental pees to contend with but shats...quite often she wouldn't quite make it to the bathroom and she would literally shat leaving a wonderful trail of poo behind her....She even did that once when I was talking on the phone ..and it was an important phone call too.

Hi Grandpa Bob..Myabe it isn't that he is lazy but it could be due to having the urge to go but going at the wrong time...He may feel like he has to go, gets the urinal and can't go at that time..Then when he really has to go he can't control it.... Just a thought..

Maybe you can try the adult depends. that way if he has an accident, it will not damage the carpet or floor. My mother uses them, she is able to go to the rest room, but sometimes her bladder leaks before she can reach it. He can change it himself in the morning. When he gets tired of doing that, maybe he will be a little more careful at night, and will then be able to have his beverage at his bedside. Good luck

This must be very frustrating for you - and for your poor Dad, GB. Have you considered having him wear a nappy at night? I think you call them diapers in America - but they are big pads for incontinent people. Your Dad might not be too pleased about wearing one, but it would save you a lot of hassle!

I feel for you. Your not being mean or wrong in limiting his drinks. Sometimes you have to get tough. He is grown, sure he has problems. He should have a better aim with his urinal. Let him know if it continues he might have to wear the depends. That might wake him up, good luck.

No I have not had to deal with a situation like that in an adult. I do think you are right though in cutting back what time the last drink is and not allowed to take any to bed.

If he is drinking a lot like you say maybe it's something you should bring up with his Dr, it could be a side effect from his meds or diabetes. In Oregon it would be considered elderly abuse if you threaten to take away fluids or threaten to make them do something they don't want to do even if they are relatives the senior services will come down on you here. If he has a caseworker talk to them maybe they can get him to wear diapers or put him in an adult foster care home. One more, sometimes at night I am very foggy headed and dream I am going to the bathroom and wake up almost peeing the bed! Have some sympathy for your dad his body has been through a lot and I'm sure he doesn't really want to burden you with his health problems. I know it's hard being a caregiver I was one for 21 years, it can drain everything out of you, be strong and hang in there this won't go on forever. Talk to his Dr. and I'm sure help is just around the corner.

Yeah, it can get frustrating at times, but you know he can't help it, because of the strokes he's had. I myself took care of my grandpa when he got sick, I know how demanding it can get sometimes, sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do, such as limiting what they drink at night and taking things from them. I don't know if your dad would agree, but when my grandpa started having problems like that, he started using adult diapers, I know he didn't like them, but there was nothing else we could do, that was the only way to keep him dry all the time and the furniture dry. Have you given any thought to that? Its funny how when we get older, we become like children again, I know I have to limit what my nephew drinks in the evening, because he wets the bed still..lol. Have a good day

I can't say that I've been in that situation, but I can see how it feels. Sometimes I drink late at night and feel like exploding early in the morning. I remember reading this one discussion where this man felt like his soul left his body every time he had to urinate in the morning.

I don't think you are wrong for not giving him beverages to bed. I think your father would understand that. And it is not really easy to clean the carpet. You can tell him to pee before going to bed so the incidence of him peeing at night won't be that much. Have a nice day!