Do you apologize even if it's NOT your fault?
By rosedust82
@rosedust82 (2066)
Philippines
September 6, 2008 3:26am CST
A lot of people have a hard time just saying the word "sorry" even if it's obviously their fault. Now, imagine if it wasn't your fault, would you be able to say "sorry"? Would you apologize for something even if it meant swallowing your pride? Or would you let err... "nature" run its course?
People who do apologize say that they do so because they just want the "fight" to be over and done with. Not apologizing would drag the fight longer. Would you apologize even if it's not your fault? What would be your reasons for apologizing or not apologizing? Do tell.
2 people like this
13 responses
@ravinder18 (868)
• Malaysia
6 Sep 08
Depend on the situation. If saying sorry will make the problem solve, then I don't mind saying sorry even though not my fault.
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
True... Like my first reply, it would probably depend on the situation and the person involved. Thanks for sharing!
1 person likes this
@JonnyMLOT (65)
•
8 Sep 08
yep all the time smoe people just dont get it and if they wont listen to reason its best to just drop it and some times to be the bigger person is the take the blame and not to let a little thing become a huge one
2 people like this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
6 Sep 08
I would not hesitate in apologising even if it was not my fault, if it meant that i could end an argument, fight or even get rid of some element of doubt or mistrust. This is of course would be possible only amongst people close to me.
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
True... It's easier to say sorry when it's someone closest to you... even if it isn't your fault. Although I have found it easy as well to apologize to someone who I wasn't really close with. I guess it would depend on the situation.
@lebanon85 (1)
•
17 Dec 08
i apologised to someone i had not been friends with for very long even though it was not my fault.
they misinterpreted an email as rude and then insulted me badly. i was angry but reasoned at first saying their reaction was overthetop. another friend told me to just apologise and not let my pride get in the way as my email could have sounded rude. i apologised sincerely. they apologised in a backhanded way via email (before i had sent my apology).
i feel like a wimp now and i shouldn't have apologised.
@vidhyavini (6111)
• India
6 Sep 08
I don't want the word "Sorry" to decide the relationship. If that relationship mean a lot to me, I will never let it go. In that case I don't mind saying sorry. Otherwise I just hesitate to say sorry when its not my fault. Even if I say sorry, I will make them realize their mistake atleast after some days. I will definitely do that. By this way I can maintain my relationship well. Happy mylotting.
2 people like this
@likaes (496)
• Singapore
6 Sep 08
I would definitely apologize if I were to be in the wrong in a dispute. Knowing when you are right or wrong, or having gone too far overboard, and apologizing is a step in the right direction for righting your wrongdoing.
However, if I were to be involved in a matter that needed me to apologize even if it were not my fault to begin with, I'd pursue the matter to some extent, to claim my innocence. If the matter still isn't settled, or is about to be blown out of proportion, then I'd hasten to apologize, if not to quickly settle the matter - insincerely, of course.
@sweetcouple (221)
• India
8 Sep 08
offcourse i would say sorry even if i am not at fault. i wuld be sorry for the sorry state of events. and if it is my mistake i admit shamelessly and beg for pardon. why should i feel embarrassed aftercommitting mistake. when i was not embarrassed to commit mistake then why at eh time of begging a pardon. and sorry would make many people' hearts, feelings, situation, relationships make easy and cool. we are hardly going to live in this world only till our life span permits say a maximum of 100 years. then why so much of egoticism. why can't we just take things easy and keep getting on with life making life easier, cooler,. happier for us and other too.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
16 Oct 08
hell no!.. I wouldn't say sorry if I wouldn't mean it and it doesn't came from my heart. besides, why the heck will I say sorry, if I think that it isn't my fault?.. how will he/she able to realize his/her mistakes if you're the one who'll apologize from other people's mistakes.
and one more thing, this is one of my weaknesses. it is so hard for me to say that word because my pride's height is taller than me.. that is why.
@robelle_noah (1)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
huhuhu ... were so different . I often say sorry eventhough its not my fault because thats my weakness . my pride is only an inch tall because i swollowed it all .!! it kills my heart .. Y_Y .. i really want to change but i cant help it ! Y_Y so sad ... my cousin's pride is almost like yours .... how cruel to me . Y_Y
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
6 Sep 08
i have never had a problem saying i'm sorry & do as often as i need to. my mother would act real ugly but never tell you she was sorry. she'd go buy u something but that didn't make up for what you had done & the fact that she'd never apologize.
@SangsTurks (1444)
• India
20 Oct 08
No, i would never even think of apologizing if it is not my fault. Not just because it would hurt my ego but also because apologizing would simply mean that you are accepting that you are at fault.
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
22 Apr 09
Yes i do, just to get things over with. Sometimes i would apologize insincerely and sarcastically. That way i don't have to swallow my pride right? Sometimes, just to give people a lesson, i do let nature run its course. lol! It's easier that way. Like i said, i apologize to get things over with and to move on. Somethings are just too minor so i just take the blame even if i don't deserve it.
@xzg555898 (210)
• China
20 Oct 08
yes, i do
if you face to some one who is always being thinking himself right ,please do not to quarrel with him ,it is no use ,he can not listen to you ,so you have to say "i am sorry or you are right "then you can can be free,i find that to reason with some body with full selfconfidence is terrible ,a sorry ,then forgetting waht you said ,that's ok
@khiryblue (1)
•
9 Dec 12
There are a few people in my life, who I must still deal with, who sometimes behave badly towards me, act in prejudiced ways, & jerk me around. I end up apologizing to them to defuse any potential problems. I hate doing this. It makes me feel like I'm sucking up to something toxic, something that believes such human qualities as caring & being conscientious are out of fashion. These people like to put me down in mean little ways, make me want to hate myself & think of myself as an inferior life-form.
I'm not ready to give a specific example because to put it in context & make the reader feel what I feel would take a story too long for this little 'writing box'. But if anyone has similar experiences, I think they'll recognize what's here, & find it relevant.
The important thing is to refuse the pressure put on you to hate yourself, & to tell yourself that the people who are behaving badly towards you have a 'good reason' to do so - & this reason is that they're really messed up, & insecure, & suffer from a lot of other negative things, (& some really are psychopaths, or have those tendencies). You can be thankful you're not like them.