The uncalled for rude comment at the docto'rs office..
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
September 7, 2008 2:27pm CST
I recently had went to a check up at my Chiropractic. Well, I had to give my doctor's wife my address change. And she has previous addresses of mines already written on the patient's record card. As I gave her my address, she asked me in a weird and funny way, why am I always moving so much. And then she called me a crazy girl. I was told this in front of another patient as she was about to check out. I was very ashamed when she said this. She has never made any comment as this ever to me. So, I waited until the girl left and I approached her about it. I first told her what she said, and she didn't realized that she said this to me. And when I had to tell her again what she said, she tells me that she was just joking to me that she has a habit of calling someone crazy. But when she called me crazy she did so sarcastically. The comment did not settle to well with me. I told her that her comment was very rude and that I did not appreciate her saying this to me. I told her all of this in a nice and respectable way. She apologized and told me that she was very sorry. I believed her but a part of me thought that she intended to say this to me. She said that she never meant to hurt my feelings. But, the way that her comment was made, seemed like she meant to say it. From this, I would consider not going to this doctor anymore. Why do people have to be so rude, when you have never done them any harm to them. I never joke with her in any manner as she has with me. I am afraid that she will tell her husband what I told her. She says that she did not say that to intentionally hurt me, but it felt like she was.. Why was she so rude, when I have been nothing but nice to her..?
8 people like this
26 responses
@myteek (17)
• United States
8 Sep 08
hey cream, it's me again! You know, I think this is GREAT! Sounds like you were really assertive by telling her in a nice but direct way that you felt she was rude. This is kind of what I meant with the teacher thing...instead of going to the doctor to complain about her, you went right to her and she apologized!
If you like this doctor and he/she takes good care of you, don't think about switching!! It's hard to find a good doctor that is caring and not too busy to take time with us. So, don't leave the doctor! Just stand up for yourself, and I am sure she will be very careful what she says around you next time.
And just a thought here..if you go back and she IS polite and nice, don't forget to tell her that too!!! Trust me, if you say,
I really appreciate how nice you've been to me today!" you will probably get royal treatment when you go back after that.
I have this belief that we get so ticked off at people we don't hesitate to let 'em know when they screwed up, but because we expect people to be nice and polite we forget to tell them we appreciate it!!!!
We all need to hear a thank you sometimes....even if we are only doing what is expected!! :-)
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
9 Sep 08
sometimes people say things thinking they're funny,and don't seem to realize how they're coming across to other people.she'll probably get canned sooner or later if she makes a habit of it in an office.
it's really no business of hers if you did move a lot.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
9 Sep 08
It sure is none of her business why I move so much. Did you know that she even asked me why was I moving so much.. The nerve of her. She said it in a sarcastic mean way.. And then she called me crazy girl after that.. I implied from her statement that she did not think too highly of me at that moment. I don't expect her to. But, she should have addressed me in a much more maturer way than she did. If her boss had to hear her, then she would have been fired on the spot!
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
7 Sep 08
Are you sure you're not being overly sensitive? I can understand why you would be, with all the things you've been through the past few months, but I think you need to lighten up a little and give people the benefit of the doubt. Your feelings are easily hurt because you're used to having someone verbally abuse you. Well, you're no longer in that situation. Try to develop a sense of humor. When she said crazy girl, you could have just said, "well, I know I was going crazy but didn't realize I'd arrived yet!" and then you can both have a good laugh. You'll make a good impression and who knows, maybe she knows of a place that needs a part time receptionist and will recommend you. That's just one of the benefits from having a sense of humor.
I don't mean to lecture you but attitude is everything. It can make your life easier or it can hurt you, as you've let your attitude toward this woman hurt you. It's not easy but you can do it if you make the effort.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
8 Sep 08
Cream you are being wayyyy too sensitive on this. Boy I'd hate to have to say anything to you in person, because with the frame of mind you seem to have lately I think anything anyone says will be taken the wrong way. Lighten up, chill out, and work on the sense of humor thing. Life will be alot more fun for you if you do.
@neeens (61)
• United States
8 Sep 08
Some people naturally say things that are so uncalled for. It's either from a habit or because they always hear it themselves. That also might be her personality with her friends, but definitely, it is NOT okay with patients and her workplace among people she doesn't know. However, I think she just naturally did it without any harm. I find myself doing that a lot. I can be pretty sarcastic and sometimes, I do it in front of people that I don't know well and it makes me come off as cocky or mean, but I'm really not. So, I've been trying to watch out for that more.
I also think that we're all VERY rude in some way or another. How can you judge her by that one incident. Maybe it was just one day or she was just out of it. If we all look at ourselves, we've all had those rude moments, but yeah that was rude of her and inappropraite.
Also, people are just REALLY rude in general (i always have to deal with it at the retail I work in or just any public place in general). Many really do not know how to socially interact with people and others really do not know common courtesy at all. Also, it can definitely stem from the fact that they've been hurt by people on the inside, have low self esteem, and get so easily impatient and snappy. People are rude because of how they feel about themselves.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
9 Sep 08
Yes, what you have said, sums up what I was thinking... She did mention how she normally calls others crazy.. It just was not acceptable around me as a patient... And it was how she said it, not what she said.. Her words sounded as if she really thought that I was very crazy for moving so much.. But, I accepted her apology because no one is perfect... I just wanted her to know how I did not appreciate what she said to me.. I am just not the one to be disrespected..
@MissGia (955)
• United States
8 Sep 08
Some people are rude because they have no consideration for the feelings of others.
Some people can be rude without knowing it.
Usually when someone is rude to me, i just brush it off, unless they say something offensive...then i go off on them.
I personally would find another chiropractor to go to..there are plenty of them out there. When this lady realizes she cost the company business, maybe she'll learn to stop giving her input and just do her job.
1 person likes this
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
8 Sep 08
Try not to stress out to much about it . I don't know if she intented to be rude or not but the fact that you told her how you felt and she apoligized to you means one of two things .
1. She really was sorry and didn't intend it to come out the way it did or
2. She did intend it to come out the way it did and you shocked her when you said something to her , which means that she will probably be more careful about what she says to you in the near future .
It was good for you to stand up for yourself when you felt that you were being attacked for no reason . I am never very good at this myself . I want to say something but don't and then complain to all those who know me lol .
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
8 Sep 08
And yes, I am that way too. I will not say anything off hand to a person, but then I will bring the mess to an innocent listener. So, now, I have learned to not let others walk all over me anymore. That way, I won't have to worry about having an issue on my back and then bringing it up in another persons face. So, I will try to say what I feel right off bat. I know when someone is being nice to me, and I know when they are trying to be funny. She was trying to be rude, and I felt her issue with me, that is why I said what I said to her.
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
8 Sep 08
Hi cream97! You are the better judge on this because you are the one who have been in that situation and you know how she behaved towards you. And I do think that if she is in that habit of calling people crazy and I guess, she wanted people to accept that habit of hers, then she is wrong. She can not call anyone crazy on impulse and be insensitive to the feelings of others. She does not respect people's feelings and that is not right. However, you told her in a very respectable way how you do not like what she said and she had apologized. I think that is good enough for now for you put her in her place.
Take care always..God Bless!
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
8 Sep 08
This is just what I am implying here! Only I know what really went on.. The way she said it was very rude and obnoxious. My feelings were hurt and I did not appreciate it at all. If it came out in nice manner then I would not have gotten so easily offended. I was not laughing with her when I was giving her my address change, so why would she want to make a big joke out of my situation just to laugh about it? She indeed thought I was crazy, that is why she is disgusted with me moving so much..
@madasp (563)
• United States
8 Sep 08
My daughters' boss just called our family crazy the other day..and I agreed and laughed with her.
I don't believe this woman was trying to insult you, I think she was just trying to make a personal connection with you by kidding around.
If I were you, I would try not to take it so personally I really don't think she meant any harm and if your worried about what the other patient thought..she probably wasn't even paying attention.
1 person likes this
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
8 Sep 08
Some people are just mean - that's the only explanation I can think of. Or they had a bad time with their husbands, or family members - so take it out on their colleagues, students or customers, or whoever that won't retaliate.
I guess the girl at the doctor's office must have a habit of making rude or making uncalled for remarks; and no one told her off! That's why she was surprised that you approached her; and she had to apologised, else she fears you might complain to her boss.
Well, I guess she will not learn, unless she is given a shock - like a customer who responds nastily and loudly, or her boss calls her on complaints.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
8 Sep 08
Hi cream, this woman sound like she is a stupid ignorant
person. I have worked for many doctors and I would never
say anything like that to a patient. She should definitely
know better. Just because she is the doctors wife doesn't
give her the right to say whatever she wants to. I doubt
her husband would be to pleased to hear about this incident.
Even a wife can be replaced! If I were you I honestly don't
think I would go back to this office. There are plenty
of other chiropractors that I'm sure you can go to. If
you do feel that you really like this doctor and want to
stay there then I would tell him exactly what his stupid
wife said to you. You have to decide what you want to do.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
8 Sep 08
Yes, I am still dwelling over the answer to what I need to do.. I know some years back my mil overheard a nurse talking to the doctor, and they were calling her crazy and saying that she was sick in her mind. Plus, they were giving her the wrong medicine, so she decided to not go to that doctor anymore.. They were giving her too many doses of different types of medicines. This was making her sicker than before.. So, she decided to not go back after what she heard what they said about her behind her back.. Now, I can personally understand why she did what she did.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
8 Sep 08
I know how you feel. I have been wondering a lot in my time as to why people have certain attitudes that they do. Sometimes I think that you don't realize that they could be hurting somebody. Maybe they don't mean it but it sounds like your circumstance was serious.
If you felt hurt by the situation then apparently someone was inconsiderate to you. Your feelings are valid. I am with you on that. Try to move on and away from that incident if you can and focus on the people who are nicer to you. It might make you feel better. 
@wickikitty (532)
• United States
8 Sep 08
I would have said the same thing... Some times use people behind the counter just say things to start up conversation... If we notice things out of the ordinary we say things just as a joke... if that makes the person feel uncomfortable we apologize and move on with life. Im sure she didn't say anything to her husband. Just go back if he is a good doctor.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
7 Sep 08
I believe we have all come up on situations like this. I just figure the person has ahd a bad day and I'm the one they let loose on, or just one of the ones.
You did right in letting her know how you felt. She being in a doctors office has no right to discuss anything to do with you, or where you live in front of anyone. It is not her place to say anything to you, as she is not the doctor and in doing her job she will make changes as necessary. That's what she is paid for. I myself would probably tell the doctor, because if she said this to you there is no telling what she has said to others. If it is causing him to lose customers he has a right to know why. Likewise you have the right to go to her employeer and let them know of her behavior. If she is family, well so be it. She can't hurt the business or the patience either.
1 person likes this
@bdugas (3578)
• United States
8 Sep 08
Are you sure that you are not the one that has the problem with having to give her again another address, showing you had moved again. I would of taken her comment to mean funny. You took it as if she was making fun of you not being able to stay in the same residence. If she apologized for what she said then you should except it and go on. Now you want to change doctor's. what did he do to you? Why are you afraid she will tell her husband, if you felt you was insulted, you had a right to say something. And if he is a decent man then he will see that her comment hurt you and I don't find that you have anything to fear from him. I too think you are a bit too sentitive, if I got mad at everything someone said to me that I could take as personel, then I would be yelling all over this town. It is hard for some people to deal with the public. I go to the store all the time and when it come to the checking out,some time I feel like we bothering them, but they work hard and most stand on their feet all day, so I look over it as to how they act. Let it go, it was a mistake and she said she was sorry. Life goes on.
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
7 Sep 08
Those that have had the perfect life and not ever had to move, don't understand why those of us that have to move - whether for finacial reasons like they raised the rent or had to follow a job or just get out of a bad area, things like that. So since they have never had to deal with that part of the world, they don't understand it. So they tend to just be, in my opinion, more uppity than rude. One might take it as rude, but I think they are being uppity.
I'd been more offended at her comment that she "has a habit" of calling everyone crazy. Now THAT it rude! I'd would have come back with something smarteleck just out of my own defense. Something like, "well, I'm not crazy, so maybe you should change your habit and not offend me like that again".
I used to take crap like that from people, but last few years, people have just not been worth putting up with. I mean, they are rude, and smarteleck and arrogant. Why do I have to be put down because of that! Thing is, they can dish it out, but they can't take it.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
7 Sep 08
Look, I mean honestly I don't want to say it, but your really taking this out of control. The woman said she was sorry, she seemed genuine by your own words, and I mean honestly, people say things sarcastically and really don't mean to make them sound rude. She could have been having a bad day, she could have needed some cheering up. I think you berated her, and honestly, attacked her for something she really didn't do wrong. She apologized, and your going on about it...
Now would you say I am having a bad day? I might be, but would you also say I was rude? I'm not being. Things are perceived in all different ways, nonetheless let it go.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Sep 08
you just do not get it cream. you are way way too sensitive, she was not rude, repeat she was not rude,you have been through a
lot but dont take it out on other people.you are looking for
rude, so you just plain see rude, lighten up, she was trying to make you feel okay over having moved a lot. I would never have taken that remark as rude. dont go around seeing everyone as bad p;eople because you lived through a horrendous marriage.open your eyes, people are not out to get you. I am being blunt as you are coming off as a person who takes everything as a slight, its you that is the problem not other people. laugh and joke a bit,it wont kill you and maybe you will learn to take a joke as a joke not as rude and mean etc etc.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
8 Sep 08
I think she was just teasing. Alot of people tease like that. Don't take it so seriously or make such a big deal about it. To me it doesn't sound a bit rude, just that she was feeling chatty and wanted to jokingly tease you and you took it too personally.
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
8 Sep 08
You know I've read the other responses here too. And almost everyone else agrees - it was a joke. But no, you'd rather believe yet another person was being rude to you. Whatever.... you'll believe as you wish. It seems the world is against you huh?
@prinzess1515 (1341)
• United States
7 Sep 08
People call eachother crazy all the time and it's not really a bad thing. It can mean that you are fun.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Sep 08
you are going around accusing everyone of having smirks and of being mean, you are just reading things into innocent remarks. dont be such a cringing ninny,you are a bright intelligent woman and people see that and try to make light hearted remarks and you just see meaness and rudeness instead. you have used these same words when you were telling us of how mean your husband was, and now you aree seeing his meaness in complete strangers. why would she smirk and be mean to patrons as she would lose her job for that. she is in the public, she has to be careful what she says. a lot of us joke to lighten things up for others, and that doesnt mean we are rude. give me a break. you complain about everybody
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
7 Sep 08
Well, if it meant that I was a fun person, then she should have made it seemed like it was. She had a smirk on her face like she wanted to laugh at me, and that she thought I was indeed crazy.. I find this very disturbing.. It would be nice, if it was used in this matter, but I am sorry that it was not, just not in this case.
1 person likes this
