My Baby Daddy just did the most terrible thing to my son......
By Lxandra79
@Lxandra79 (1535)
United States
September 14, 2008 8:36pm CST
My baby daddy takes my son every other weekend to his house, he lives with his soon to be expecting wife and lil soon to be step daughter.
It was his turn to take him this week.
He called me up a few minutes ago to say that he was outside waiting for me to open the door and that he needed to talk to me, I went to my room put on a shirt, then I went to open the door and I saw him standing there looking all mean (like always).
He told me that my son needed reading glasses or glasses, but I told him that he didnt because he reads just fine.
Then he told that he got mad at him through the weekend because he pissed on his bed, and he asked me if anything was wrong in my house, and I said no because our son sometimes pees on the bed.
Then he told me that he hit him, and I was thinking that maybe he hit him like a normal spanking, so i was like OK no biggie because i spank him to (not that hard of course)....so I shut the door, and called out to my son and asked him where did he hit him, he was like on my butt, I looked and saw that he Whipped him! HARD!! and he has bruises now!!...:':(
I started to cry then and there....I don't know what to do, should I just leave it alone of, and let him go again to his dads house?
or call the cops?
social services?
I took pictures just in case..good idea?
Give me ideas.....please...im soooo sad right now!!
8 people like this
33 responses
@raynebowx5 (66)
• United States
15 Sep 08
You have to call social services honey. Before someone else sees that and thinks you did it to him. His father should have never hit him to the point of bruising him no matter what he did. DO NOT let your son go back there until you know what goes on over there. Good luck with this.
4 people like this
@creationsbysusie (254)
• United States
15 Sep 08
you r right social services does need to be called as if someone else sees the bruises the mother will get blamed first wetting the bed can be different reasons my son had that problem as I did as a child too it does take awhile for it to stop in a nervous situation does not help I would not let the little boy go there until find out what is going on in the house a small spanking is ok not a whipping to the point of bruises
1 person likes this
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
15 Sep 08
I would keep those pictures and call children services on him. If you don't have a custody agreement, don't allow your son to go over there. If you do have one, call your lawyer (or the public defenders office) first thing Monday morning to have it over turned.
You may be able to call the police tonight, but if you do they will probably want you to file a report against him.
3 people like this
@Lxandra79 (1535)
• United States
15 Sep 08
Yes I am going to do that, and no I dont have custody agreement.
Before he has told me that he had hit him, but I didnt know it was like this!
I thought maybe it was just a spanking.
But no, never again!
1 person likes this
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
15 Sep 08
Why should she not allow her son to go and visit his father. It is wrong to beat a child to abuse but not sending the child to his father will only brings hatred and that does not fit well in a family situation. There are times parents does thing without even thinking about the child and at this moment this lady need to remember that the child is his too. Police, lawyers and Social Services are not always the right thing when it comes to children and then again if this man decide to stop spending money on the child and the court order him to pay child maintenance say $500 and she was getting $1000 don't you see that she would be losing out.
My advice to you my friend think before you act.
1 person likes this
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
15 Sep 08
Kelly, I think that you all are getting this thing wrong. What is abuse. Did the father willfully abuse the child or he was beating him and didn't know when to stop. I said earlier and I will continue to say that you all are talking and forgetting that the child is involved and the mother cannot make a decision without talking with her child. This is what good parents does consult their children before making decision especially if it involved he/she.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
15 Sep 08
I would report it, before someone else sees it and reports you. There is no way that he should have been hit that far. I definitely would not just let it go.
3 people like this
@babystar1 (4233)
• United States
15 Sep 08
Sorry the here what happenedto your son. How old is he? I would of been so mad if someone would did that to my son. A spanking is ok if it dont leave marks. I would not let something like this go. I would call the social services. That is good that you took pictures.
3 people like this
@Lxandra79 (1535)
• United States
15 Sep 08
Hi, thanx for responding!
My son is only 8 years old, and yes the thought of taking pictures just popped in my head, omg u just dont know how mad I was with HIM, i am still mad at him....when my mom gets home, hell will break lose when i tell her want happend to her grandson!
I will call the social services tomorrow!
1 person likes this
@pheonixstar1982 (2307)
• United States
15 Sep 08
I would most definitely call social services. No one should be spanked to the point of leaving bruises.
3 people like this
@ProudMommy22 (705)
• United States
15 Sep 08
Um I wouldnt be letting my child go back to his fathers house if he had left marks on him like that there would be no way on this gods green earth i would do that. Secondly i would have called the cops on him for doing so but then the cops will probably contact your local Social Services department and then might even take your child from you until they find out what was going on.So i mean it could be a couple things to happen in the long run. Me and the father would be having a long talk and id let him know right then he wouldnt be going back until ferther notice or when i think its time for him to go back.
3 people like this
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
oh, i am really sorry about what happened to your son.
just dont let him go out with his father againb. oyu can report to social services, just so he will be stopped with his right to take your son out every other weekend. to protect him. oh, i hate those kind of daddys.
heartless!
just dont let him go out with his father againb. oyu can report to social services, just so he will be stopped with his right to take your son out every other weekend. to protect him. oh, i hate those kind of daddys. heartless!@Lxandra79 (1535)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Imma post what I did in a week Imma call it the same but Part 2, so keep a look out!
@DIAMONDSNECSTASY (87)
• United States
17 Sep 08
just out of curiousity - what did you decide to do ?
1 person likes this
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
15 Sep 08
The father needs some parenting classes and anger management classes maybe you can get the social services to help you in some way. Your child shouldn't have to deal with fearing his own Father. You need to get some kind of help for your son. I hope things work out. Hugs to your son and you.
2 people like this
@moonbeam94 (387)
• Australia
15 Sep 08
I think your ex knew he was in the wrong and decided to get an attack in first .Your son should not be spanked for wetting the bed as it will happen more often due to stress ,but there has to be a reason behind the bed -wetting .Was your ex violent when you all lived together ,your son is eight does he think it was all his fault that you and his dad are not together any more and does he know you love him no matter what,children think and do strange things if they feel unwanted and unloved ,I hope for everyone's sake it gets sorted fast.
2 people like this
@thebohemianheart (8827)
• United States
15 Sep 08
First of all, I would sit down with your son, and talk to him. Find out what kind of things go on at his dad's house, was this the first time something like this has happened, do you feel comfortable there, do you WANT to be there when you are, things like that. Taking the pictures was a good idea, and I agree with another responder, get someone in now before someone else sees the bruises and markings and calls social services on YOU.
2 people like this
@dab7586 (11)
• United States
15 Sep 08
I would not report it. It doesnt take much to leave a welt or a bruise on a kids butt. You should see how long the bruises stay. Next you need to call this dad and talk to him about it and let him know about the bruises. Now me I am all about spankins. I dont believe in that time out bullcrap unless they are really young.
Let him know if there is anymorre spankings like this on e hell have some problems. Good Luck
1 person likes this
@Lxandra79 (1535)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Are you forreal!?
You believe in beating up a child! in my case an 8 year old kid??
You must be crazy!
Im sorry but your comment is not right!!
Im not gonna do what you say, not tell the cops or the social worker....get real!!
@dab7586 (11)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Thats not what im saying. You did not say what you or him had talked about. I m not there, if they are true bruises then something would need to be done. I was under the impression that he over reacted and thought that you needed to check him. Only you know if it was uncalled for and you should act accordinly. I donot believe that bruising a child is ok. YOu need to understand how exxagerant people can be. Parenting is a constant learning experience. Maybe he needs some guidance so he can have ahealthy relationship with his son.
@xcammiex (272)
• United States
15 Sep 08
Is this the first time the father has done this? If it isn't, i would call social services immediately. Talk to your son and find out. If this was a first time incident, I would speak to the father and very firmly tell him that his behavior was unacceptable and appalling. I would further tell him that you will not allow him to have unsupervised visits with your son anymore until he completes an anger management class. It may seem harsh, but you have a responsibility to protect your son. If he (the father) will not agree to anger management classes, then I would call social services. I think this is absolutely a fair agreement. I think he might have felt bad which is why he told you about it which is why I would give him a chance to take care of this issue without social services first. If he isn't willing to, you have to consider your son's safety. If he hit him because he peed in the bed, imagine what he could do if your son accidentally breaks something expensive or important or doesn't listen (you know how kids are). This is a serious situation and should be treated as such. Hope this helps and good luck.
2 people like this
@theycallmemama (6)
• United States
15 Sep 08
I would call social services. He needs help and they are the people to provide him with everything he needs to be a proper parent. Think not only of your son, but of his soon to be step daughter too.
2 people like this
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
15 Sep 08
I would probably report it so that you aren't blamed for it in the future. Sounds as if he has an anger issue and it needs to be addressed. I believe in discipline but not to the point of bruising. That punishment was too severe. Be sure to talk with your son about it and it could be possible that the bedwetting is caused because of the insecurity he is feeling of going from one home to the other. My parents were divorced when I was younger and I remember never feeling 'at home' because I went back and forth from one home to the other. When there are other 'new family members' involved it also makes the situation a little harder to deal with.
1 person likes this
@Lxandra79 (1535)
• United States
15 Sep 08
Well my son only wets the bed because he has something to drink past 8, not because he has issues at home, not my house. We dont hit him here...ever!
The father has never been his life only 2-4 times thats it in the past 8 years!!
He wanted to be in his life, this past October...but now he wants to be this dad and tell his son what to do, i mean thats not right, and telling him that by beating my son up, he will grow up to be a man??? thats BS!
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
16 Sep 08
call the police you are not suppose to bruise your child this is consider child abuse do quickly
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
16 Sep 08
[i]Hi Lxandra,
that is very rude as a father, you need to report him so that he will learn his lesson! He can't treat your son that way, we can always remind kids if they are naughty and spank them but not to the point of hitting them so hard!
You need to give him some lesson for this actions![/i]
1 person likes this
@DIAMONDSNECSTASY (87)
• United States
16 Sep 08
hello , everyone has different opinions .. but what you need to look at is this reality ... what reality is that your son was hit ... by his father / step mother ..who ever , if you want to be a parent that hides things thats your choice .. but you being human and with knowledge i would think you would stand by your son ... ask your son to stand in front of you .. ask him in a nice way what happened .. get his side of the story then - move on it ....
i work with foster children for last 3 yrs now ... i have children with bruses you couldn't imagion because parents hit them with belts / or hangers etc .... what in this world is happening to adults now days ... beating on there kids is ok ?... i'm sorry - that is no so ... those kids have rights and they need to be protected then protect them .... this one time hit will lead to others ..
are you waiting for him to say you did it ? ... or the stranger down the street ... what is wrong with you ?... open your eyes , what if this child was you .. would you want to be hit ?.. would you like it- leaving marks all over your body ? will you sleep at night peacefully knowing you did nothing - til the next time its too late ... wake up sweetie ...
you started this discussion ... and now you need to listen ....
hitting is not the answer ..... to no child
mental abuse .. is not ok either
you took pictures use them ............. stand by your child .... if you don't who will?
sorry if i sound harsh ... but wake up what are you waiting for
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
15 Sep 08
There is no need for police or social services. Call over your babyfather and explain to him that he didn't need to spank him that hard. Talk with your son and see if he is afraid of his dad. You see when children are nervous they tends to do things that they don't normal does. Observe him and see if it is when you mentioned his father name he pee the bed or if it is when he plays too hard.
If it is because of fright for his father then have a family discussions with both of them. It is unhealthy for children to be afraid of their parents. If this is cause from playing then you minimise the hours he spent in this department. Regarding his wearing of glasses does he squirt is eyes while reading if so something is wrong with his eyes. Observe his facial expression whenever he is reading. You see parenthood is not something you born with but what you learn from.
All the best.
Kerry
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
15 Sep 08
I'm sorry, but I feel you are so wrong in this statement. What this woman described was not a simple spanking. It is abuse and must be reported. I'm sure the child would be afraid of his dad if this happens often. Its only normal. And unhealthy for a child to be afraid of parents? Well when one parent beats a child until they have bruises that child has every right to be afraid! Child services should definitely be informed!
2 people like this
@tununsu (42)
•
15 Sep 08
Don't be worried,life is just one so there is no chane to be worried or get penic about this matter.Try to resolve the matter by conversion with ur husband.If he does't n't allowe it go to court and sue against him.Lets see what will happend.As a friend will suggest to you that If fell any kinds of menatly lonelyness please contact with me i am reday to be your good friend .my phone no.+8801717141459..tunu_nsu@yahoo.com..i will wait for ur response.best of luck .allah hafez
1 person likes this
@Lxandra79 (1535)
• United States
15 Sep 08
First he is NOT my husband, we were only together 1 year after my son was born and after separated for 8 years, just recently we are OFFICIALLY Divorced Thank god!
When I was with him he kept me on lock down, I was a prisoner in my own home!
He is bipolar, he gets mad at everything! even my son says so...when he is at his girlfriends (my ex husbands girl) house which is his house also, he told me that his girlfriends parents also his his girlfriends daughter with the belt.
@tununsu (42)
•
16 Sep 08
I ahve no idea about the life stlye of western pepole .How u got baby without husband .May be my peception is backdated but i am sorry to say it is not fair to get a baby with out marrige ,A husband is more rersponsible than a boyfriend ,he did not marry you so he has no responsibility or he did not fell any love to u.He made physical realtionship and take all happiness from you and go to other lady and thsi is teh reality ,You failed to recognize pepole who wil be ur best partner for your life.Sorry for may hard talk but i felling sympathy to you .May god bless you and give more strength inside your mind to tackle the matter.
