Naughty Teenagers Is it the Parents fault?
By Rachel85044
@Rachel85044 (426)
United States
September 16, 2008 12:53pm CST
Hi,
this is kinda a follow up to my last discussion I had a fellow mylotter state that bad kids are always the product of bad parenting. I am not sure i believe that I think sometimes kids just turn out a certain way no matter what we do. I also think the teenagers are often a challeng and get themselves into trouble no matter how great the parents are. I think its part of them being teens.
So what do you think you think naughty teens are a parents fault, or do you think its just something in there brains that goes crazy at a certain age and then goes back to normal after the teen years have passed
2 people like this
15 responses
@emarie (5442)
• United States
17 Sep 08
its a tough subject because you can't ALWAYS say that that happens. sometimes they might not be BAD parents, they just don't know how to handle their child. in older kids i can be the influence of friends and society. you can always lead back to parenting, but unless there is serious neglect and the parent is just as bad then you should directly blame them. parents make mistakes and thats the fear most of us have. i have to little boys myself and i worry like crazy every time he acts up. i did my share of 'not so nice' things when i was a teenage that my parents COULD HAVE prevented but the blame is not solely on them. its always a combination of the children, the upbringing, and the environment which tells them how the child will act in society.
1 person likes this
@emarie (5442)
• United States
18 Sep 08
its nothing bad or anything. i dated boys older then me without telling. i've lied to them. at one point i took the car in the middle of the night because a guy i was somewhat seeing needed a ride home. i made my mistakes, i don't put blame on them but the reason i didn't open up to them is because of the openness which was lost a little when i became older. i talked to my parents, but i never really brought any serious problems to them in my life, those were reserved for my friends. i don't blame them because around the time when i started 'rebelling' as some would say my father became really sick and was in and out of the hospital. my parents let me do what i want and never pushed too hard for things like school work around that time. even so i kept everything up on my own, but most of the time they were just working or in the hospital. being a parent now, they raised me to the best of their abilities to what they knew at that time. i feel every generation has a change to grow and even learn from what mistakes their parents did make.
it may seem you can say BLAME THE PARENTS, which is just an easy way out. just like people say BLAME THE MEDIA for the bad behavior of kids. honestly, you can see it as put the blame on no one and everyone. people with good parents can become a killer, people with bad neglectful parents can become an ideal person of society. its how that individual accepts their environment around them. parents can play a part. ANY positive adult role model can place a big part in any childs life.
1 person likes this
@grammasnook (1871)
• United States
17 Sep 08
i did my share of 'not so nice' things when i was a teenage that my parents COULD HAVE prevented but the blame is not solely on them.
I copied and pasted this part for a reason and I would like to ask a question if it isn't being to nosey. I do not know what kind of not so nice things you are talking about but do you think you could share what they COULD HAVE done? If all the blame is not on them where is the other part of the blame pointed?
1 person likes this
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I also did some not so nice things and I do not think it was my parents fault and if I blamed them I would never have learned from my mistakes. I think its a dangerous thing for kids to blame parents for everything that goes wrong it gives them an excuse! You know what they say about Excuses are like a*ssholes everyone has one!
@viduviduvidu (293)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I think when a teenager is naughty, he/she is in the adolescent age when teenagers are usually behave in a cranky and silly way, a period gone through by all individuals. It is not the result of bad parenting. It rather signifies that better parenting is required. More patience, thoughtfulness, and understanding from the parents are essential to help the teenager.
@viduviduvidu (293)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Yes, its a very trying period for both the teenager and the parent :(
But time flies, and soon he'll be a mature adult :)
1 person likes this
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I agree but parenting a teen is a difficult job and sometimes all the patience does not help!
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
21 Sep 08
I'm currently taking a class on Adolescent development and after seeing how adolescents develop and how their brains work, I just can't believe that bad teens are the result of bad parenting. Teens like to take risks and that's because of how their brain develops. Teens are more apt to get into bad situations so I just don't see parents at fault. It's just the teens themselves. I think brain and maturity development all play a role in how teens act. Some teens, regardless of how tough their parents are will listen. Some teens don't need tough parents at all to listen. So parents cannot be blamed completely.
1 person likes this
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
21 Sep 08
That is my beliefs I took a similar class in school, from what i remember it is some kind of chemical imbalance that happens during the teen years. That does not stabilize until they are a bit older!
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Sep 08
It is not the parent's fault unless said parents are seen neglecting, acting like a Fagin and encouraging the kids to be criminals or saying that they are just sowing their wild oats. But if the parents do all that they can to keep their children on the straight path, it is the fault of the young people. I do believe in family courts there should be advocates for the character of decent loving parents who did all they could to bring up their children so that they are not punished for the crimes of their ungrateful little brats.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I think that all teens will get into trouble in some way or another and it isn't the fault of the parents. It is the fault of the parents if these teens don't grow out of this stage and grow up to be trouble in their 20's. The parents need to step up and give their teens the proper punishments when they do get into trouble...tough love works! Otherwise the parents are condoning this behavior and teaching their teens that it is ok to be bad and they will continue their bad behavior.
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Oh, I agree with the tuff love idea! But I was a naughty teenager and I rebeled against the tuff love and there were times my parents could not inforce there rules!
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
16 Sep 08
My kids know I won't put up with any crap. They get into trouble and they either take the punishment we give them or they are sent to the childrens home in our town. We have used this as the threat, but never had to use it. My kids always took their punishement and we talked things over day in and day out. My son spent one whole summer vacation at work and home..no where else. No car, no friends, nothing but family and work because he got into some big trouble. Now he is a very responsible 19 yr old.
1 person likes this
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Wow you are strick! My husband is the strick one in my house. If I told my kids I would send them away they would never believe it!
@fatherblogger (673)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
I think that the answer is a YES and a NO. Yes, if the parents are spoiling their teens since he was a child. We must remember we are our child's first teacher and if we tolerate them when they are naughty, it is obvious that they will grow up naughty.
However, it can also be NO because teens are very eager to learn by themselves and they become naughty while learning. Teens are still somehow children by heart and mind, but if we mold them to be good citizens, they will not easily be influenced by "naughty" people.
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Very well said it is really a combination of everything!
@Kowgirl (3490)
• United States
17 Sep 08
As a mother of six children (who are now responsible adults)I learned that ALL
teenagers are rebellious. They are going through a rough time. We want them to act like adults while they are really still children. Some days are very tough on them.
They are too old to be doing childish things and too young to be doing adult things.
They become rebellious to all the rules and are looking for independence. It is an age of "who am I". Some are lucky enough to see what they want to become and work toward that goal and some are still at a loss. Parents have to recognize when a teen needs a little push in the right direction and apply that push without becoming the "bad" guy. Frequent one on one talks will help calm a rebellious teen. Whatever a teen decides to do is not the fault of the parent(s). A teen has a mind of their own and they will use it as they see fit. I can't blame a parent if their teenage child gets into trouble, but it would have been better if that parent had talked to them about the consequences of their actions if they chose to do something they know is wrong. Teaching a teen right from wrong is all a parent can do. Some teens learn from their mistakes and some don't. Some are lost forever....
1 person likes this
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I think that is a great answer and I couldn't agree with you more! I also have 5 kids and one on the way!
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
17 Sep 08
I dont think that it is always the parents fault that kids grow up bad. If that was the case there would only be bad kids in any given family or good in another depending on the parents. How often do you see that thou?
You also see rotten parenting and the kids are just awesome and never get into trouble and you wonder how that happens. I think alot of it is self-direction. Kids are growing up so fast that some seem to get this is my life and I want to get something out of it. Others just dont seem to care no matter what a parent does.
Another thing is sometimes mental illness and other things come into play.
We have a large family and we have that mixture here we have 2 that no matter what we have done or what we do it is a downward path it seems for them and they are of age that they know what they should do or be doing but for whatever reason they dont and seem to have to learn the hard way. That is if they decide to learn at all that there are certain things in society that is expected and not expected of people. Yet we have 5 that are so-called normal.. what that is for a kid Im still trying to figure out. LOL!
So to re-vertify nope it isnt always the parents.
1 person likes this
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I think some kids have to learn things the heard way! I think I was one of those kids and I turned out ok! I am sure yours will as well!
Hugs
Rachel
@Bluepatch (2476)
• Trinidad And Tobago
17 Sep 08
Of course they are.
People behave they way they were brought up.
A young person absorbs what is presented to them.
Present good and you get good, present bad and you get bad.
Its always the parents fault.
They are responsible.
Children are born and grow up at home.
1 person likes this
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
18 Sep 08
So you do not believe genetics play a role it is 100% nuture?
@ella1bella (839)
•
17 Sep 08
Upbringing has something to do with it,how you are taught to behave will lead to how you think its right to behave,but I wouldnt say that naughty teenagers are the fault of the parents no,the parents can only do so much the rest is up to the teenagers them selves,if they know right from wrong then you cant do much more to help them really
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
18 Sep 08
True sometimes they just have there own ideas no matter what the parents try to instill in them!
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
18 Sep 08
some of it is the parnets fault, because if we raised them right from the time they are babies, time they are teens then we wouldn't have this trouble.
there are a few kids who just turned out rotted as hell. like my brother and nephew
1 person likes this
@nlcapricorn (1114)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
I am still single but i am not agree with this that naughty teenagers are parents faults. NO its not. Maybe some there is but in most cases parents are not to be blame. Naugthy teenagers are maybe influence on their friends and the people around them.
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I agree I think its silly to complete blame the parents!
@aboutus (27)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
I don't think they all are, though some of course are, and it seems like more today than previously. However, parents are not wholly responsible for how their child behaves, especially as they get older - schools also have a role in teaching behavior.
1 person likes this
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I agree but I think there sometimes there are things that are part of our nature and no matter the enviornment can manifest itself in undesirable ways!
@francesohlay (36)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
for me,not everything must credited to parents because there are children whose parents are disciplinarian but still it does not work//.
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
16 Sep 08
I partially agree with what you are saying. It is true that no matter how parents try to keep control of their children, teenagers might turn out in a certain way. Yes teenagers are challenging. But it makes a whole big difference whether they have parents/guardians with good parental skills or not. Being naughty at this age is normal for most teenagers. But while most teenagers are afraid of their parent's punishment, others who lack respect even towards their parents (besides teachers and other authorities ) do not.
1 person likes this
@Rachel85044 (426)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I agree its important that they also have a good relationship with the parents. Lines of communication are important and them being able to talk to you about anything even things that are not going to make you happy need to be converstations the kids are comfortable approaching you on!
