My neighbor caught his wife talking to his mistress on the other line.

Well for me since the mother seems to be able to manage all by herself its better that she would separate or at least try to live separately while it still hurts. Then from there let's see what happens sometimes they would reconcile and start all over again but some realizes that its better for them to live their separate ways than going together. I think this will also prompt a wake up call for the husband to think things twice about how he would like to live his life too.

Start shaking him down. Ask him questions. When has this been going on? Why did you do this to me? Do you love her? Do you want to stay with her? There are just so many questions that go through a persons mind, and all you want are answers. She has every right to be angry, and she has every right to want to leave him or get some kind of revenge on him, but revenge never really solves anything. You can get even if you like. Whatever makes you feel better?

that is really sad... i hope your neighbour will be able to confront her husband and have a chat with him... ask him face to face the reasons of why is he cheating on her... i agree with you that she shouldn't make any harsh decision with a hot mind... let her cool down first and she might be able to think things over and hopefully find a good solution with her husband... good luck... take care and have a nice day...

You are a good friend. I think it s a wise advise to give it some time before deciding. Hearing such a conversation was a shock for your friend and really painful. When she calms down she must have a good talk with her husband and re-evaluate things whether its worth it to continue with her marriage or not. If both parts are willing, yes their marriage can be fixed.

If this was me i would have stormed in to the room that he was in and give him what for!!!!! and then later I would have regretted doing it in the heat of the moment and wished that I had of waited until I had calmed down and could think with a straight head so i could have talked it through so I guess that I am saying that maybe it is better the she hasn't told him yet that she knows so she can work out for her self what her marriage and her husband means to her and if she would like to continue with the marriage or if she can't and she knows that is it is over she will be able to talk to him better so now that she has had time to think she should go and face him and talk it through with him and see where they go from there! It is very hard and I feel bad for her and hope that she works it out soon.

This is just another case of injustice. A lot of women suffer from this. For sure, it is very painful and hurtful. What a hard situation, a good wife paired with an irresponsible, sluggard and unfaithful husband. She must have wished that her husband would vanish. But it's her husband and maybe I could just tell her to talk to him about their situation and everything, and decide whether to keep the marriage or they separate. They should communicate.

Well, what advice i can give is that she should keep a check on him, where he goes what he does,whom he meets, and after finding out who she is, try to make her understand.She should sit with her husband and have a talk on this topic, and this is very necessary before taking any action.

Don't let anger and hurt ruled her mind. Let not her feelings mingled with her right senses. If she think, and not actually feels, that she no longer can stay with the relationship - better let go. If it is the most rightful decision she could ever make.

I believe you did the right thing. All you can do is to guide her and yeah give her advices. From what you say, her husband seems very uncaring. As she struggle to get income, her husband is leeching away from her. I think it's timer for her to decide what is the best for her. Anyway, she doesn't have alot of options. If she decides to stay with him, she will just endure this kind of life...unless he can change into a better person. But if he does, can she trust him again? So does he deserve a chance? That's for her to decide since she knows better than me. If she decides to leave him, she will be probably be depressed or sad for a while. This is normal due to attatchment but if she chooses this road, she will need people around her for support and this includes you. But I think this option is the best if she leaves him. He's a cheating lazy bump. ...really not worth it. She is a woman who deserves much better and some respect. goodluck to her and hopefully this was helpful.

kick his butte to the curb. he's not worth her tears. if they'll do it once they'll do it again. brrn there done that. u can't trust them no matter how much you love them.it's sadbut true.

Well from my point of view, the husband is a piece of crap. Really, if all he does is sit in a couch while her wife does all the job, he's definitely not worth it. If I were her I would dump that guy and just look for someone better. I am sure there's someone better for a hard working person like your neighbor. These type of people... they make me so angry! just taking advantage of the person that has putted their entire trust onto them...

Hello mommy! you have an interesting neighbor hood. Oh well if you would ask (and you know I am young) I would right away leave my husband, infidelity is not something that I would tolerate as I came from a broken family and I don't like the feeling of someone is fooling me behind my back. When me and hubby would joke around about having an affair, I would tell him that it is OK to me if he would have an affair just make sure he would tell it me and then I would leave him and he go on with the affair That was just a joke between us, but of course I would never tolerate that. I am very possessive with him and I tell him if I saw him even just holding hands with someone else, I will kill him LOL As for your friend, maybe she should weigh down her options, is her husband have use on her? can she leave without him? Do they have kids? if so what does she think the kids will feel? (as for me we were happy then when my mother and father separated because my father never acts like one yo us) So there, and most of all, think about her self, as they say always leave a little self respect for yourself. My mother always says that a man is born polygamous, so the only thing a woman can do is love herself and not give all the loving to her husband, so if ever something bad happens, she have something to start for.

Separation will not solve the problem. I think the best thing to do right now is to talk about it. She should ask her husband why he was able to cheat her. If her husband will not admit then she should tell him that she heard talking on the line. If they can't solve this problem by simple conversation then maybe that's the time for separation. Just ask her to pray because there is nothing impossible in prayer.

maybe they should try marrage counsling it usually helps it will either help them further their relationship or show them that they aren't ment to stay together.

This is a tough one because it depends how she feels about here husband. If she still loves him then it might be worth while trying to fix the marriage. If she does not then she does she need grounds for divorce? I do not know the laws in your country. If she wants to save her marriage then she would need to talk to him about the fact that she knows he has a mistress. I think it is a worry that he was talking to the mistress on the home phone risking his wife finding out. To me that shows that he is arrogant and does not care what his wife thinks. That is a worry. If she wants to dissolve the marriage then she will probably need proof of his affair in order to get a good property settlement. If the house and business is split down the middle she might lose both. If her financial status is at risk and she wants to dissolve the marriage then she needs to plan and find out how to protect herself. Personally the first thing I would do is bring up the subject and find out where she stands and how he reacts. Some men just don't care. If the money is in the wife's name he might not want a divorce because he would lose too much. My advice would be to talk to him. Maybe test the water first or if she feels brave enough to confront him with her knowledge of his affair and see how he reacts.

hi salonga did you mean your neighbor caught her husband talking to his mistress? you said his wife, but think you meant her husband. If I were her I would kick that cheating man to the curb and forget him. file for divorce and marry a man who will be true to you and only you. what is there to think about? he has a mistress who wants to live with that? not me anyway. nor should she want to either.

Well, she has to decide whether she wants him or not. Its a definitely life-changing event and then there's the business. She should try to save the situation rather than give up on her marriage alltogether. But that's going to be her decision.

What I think is mama,she should not take a decision at this moment so quickly.Some people will not admit that they have cheated,until they are caught red handed.I feel that it is worth to investigate for herself,because I think a marriage is not a joke to break like that.It is more serious than that,and they are doing a business together.When she is emotionally stable,I think mama you should ask her to go with her gut feeling and sit down with her husband an have a conversation,what they both want to do and how to get there peacefully.

Hi my friend, I think it is not good to make major decisions when you are in distress, disappointment or any devastating situation. I could understand that anybody who is deeply hurt would make hasty decisions that they would regret later. Of course she needs comfort from friends. Maybe it would help if he would be with other family members, take a vacation, stay away from the area. Go to other place to take a break. She should be accompanied by someone. Not talk to hubby yet this time.. Just wait when she is fine.

I suggest that you just be there for her give her support, don't try to make any decisions for her. What he did is wrong that is something she has to come to term with and the decision she makes should be totally up to her..Sometime others advice can cause problems between friends. I have had friends ask me for advice and I gave it to them and then when things are back to normal, they did seem to pull away from me. Because they did the opposite of the advice I gave.