I am disappointed in him.

Hello rogue13xmen13. What a moving story. First of all, I commend your ability to handle the relationship and still prolong it simply because of your feelings toward the person, I think thats a good thing and I encourage that you stand by it. The main highlight there isn't totally the laziness and irresponsibility, but the whole gaming addiction. That needs to be taken into consideration first. Usually (I'm not saying all) people resort to gaming when they just want to go to another world where there are no problems and just get rid of that stress and fact of failure for not being about to go through the college year. Of course that is a bad path, but what can save this is the actual relationship itself. I believe you need to give the person more attention, spend more time with him and encourage him in a positive way. My girlfriend has been a true inspiration in avoiding my nasty chat habits and doing something more productive and working online. You can break that addiction too and if the guy is really true, he'd break away or even just a bit to hear you out. Now after the gaming is taken out of the equation, it should be a more automatic process that he'll learn the value of aiming for success and hopefully making it through the semester. Be an inspiration. Tell him how important you are to him and that you wish for his success. I guess thats the best advice I can give, I'm sure others who know you better can give you better advice. Hope I was of some help. Best of luck to you guys.

What have you done to help him? Have you help try and find him a job? Have you taken him driving in your car so he can get experience driving? Some people need help and a little motivation to get going in life

Hello. I am so sorry to hear that, but still I hope that your boyfriend will try his best to work hard at what is needed for him for a better future without being addicted to the games that you have mentioned here. Most importantly, he is able to make improvement only when he has really realized the importance of his study rather than playing games which does not bring with him any profit as a way of living. Let's hope for the best of him, dear friend. Good luck to you and take care.

This guy is irresponsible and I am encouraging you to try and put a distance between the two of you. My ex-boyfriend is the same thing and I think that with love and determination he will change but I only stress my self out. You are young and have your whole life in front of you. Pray and ask God to give you the substance to forget about him. He will not see what you are saying to him now but later when he finally realize it it will be too late. You know what you want continue to pursue your goal. I wish you all the best and may you be as successful as ever. God bless and keep you. Kerry

If you see that he is doing something that is not doing him any good... you should be the one telling him this. You will not have to shout on him about this. Talk to him, make him understand. Encourage him to study... better, study together, so that you can be sure that he will mend his school works and not his computer games. You say you love him... you have to understand... help him... you feel disappointed in him for failing college... you have to think that he is feeling disappointed in himself now, he needs you more than ever. But, this does not meet that you will tolerate him again... help him, be with him to stop the things that made him fail..

don't worry so much, maybe he don't found the most suitable job. when he found, he will do very well, you please keep patient, if you love him so much, so he should have somthing to worth .

This is a tough situation. But as you know most girl grow up before most guys. You except resposibility before they do. They are more laid back than we are. Now the thing is when will he grow up, learn his responsibility, and not be so laid back? SOme never do, some in the 20's, 30's, 40's, and some others never. Which one group does he fall into, that is very hard to say. Now do you want to wait around and find out? Do you want to push him into a position? Telling him I need you to step up and take your place as a man I know you are or can be. Do what you say you are doing and make some progress. Now as I see it people that are actually looking for a job, get one. People that are trying to get a drivers license, get one. You can give him an ultimatum and say until you do these things I want to be friends, or something along these lines. Or UNtil you do these things I'll be doing ...all the thing you do on a daily basis. Name them for him. Just to remind him what you do all the time. Maybe this will shake him up enough to wake him up and get him going like a cup of java. Like many married women telling their man when they don't do things they wish they would, tonight you sleep on the sofa, that wakes them up to the reality that they are not doing something right and they need to rectify the situation if they want their lady happy. Most men don't think in the same frame of mind as we do, in fact I don't know of many at all that do. lol We have to show what we think more than say what we think. And we have to find ways to make them think that what they do is what they are wanting instead of what we are wanting or thingking for that matter. Reverse pshycology

The good thing is that he takes good care of his sister. That means he is responsible. I wonder if he really wanted to go to college in the first place. I know you love him and you want him in you life but if his idleness bothers you, you have to tell him.

Hi rogue... You really need to discuss your feelings to him about his behavior...If you don't then your life will be filled with stress...It may not mean a break-up but you need to be honest with him... In everything you do it will be there in the forefront of your mind and that will cause problems... Have you gone with him to fill out an application...or to the drivers license place? It isn't healthy for you to have these unresolved feelings eating away at you..and with you working towards a BA and trying to do your best to get done with your education..and having to worry about him not getting his education, or having a job, or getting his license is going to cause you trouble.. You need to confront him and go from there...If he loves you then he will get his butt out of that chair and away from "WOW" and get his act together....

We could make up a club name for these kind of relationships. I am 42 and have the same problems here. My BF is 44 and is trying hard to get a job and is always helping others(for free). He is really very sweet, but to lazy to get out of bed in the morning. This brings him in the most difficulty. That is the reason why he can not keep a job. I have no more money and need to pay for my house from my parents as well. I am going nuts. Refrigerator is empty. But like you, I love this guy! But, I don't now how much longer I can keep this up. Take care, and good luck to you.

I think alot of people get way too involved with thoses games. The very game you mentioned my landlord, my son and my son in law are all overly involved with. They play from the minute they wake up till the minute they go to sleep. They go to work. They sleep. All the rest of the time they are playing that game. My daughter even told me one day he forgot to give the kids lunch so he let them have potatoe chips for lunch. I myself play sims2. Probably more than i should. I dont allow myself to play unless my house is clean. If i sit playing too long my a-- gets tired of sitting. I dont know how they do it so long. I have to get up and do other things.

Aare you supporting him with money? If so I'd think about cutting that off. Sounds like he might be addicted? You really can't make someone do something they don't want to do, so why waste your time? By continueing to ask him you are causing him to lie to get you off his back, think about what this is doing to the relationship where you want it to end up. LOL

yeah..kinda disappointed of what your boy friend is doing to his life..being addicted to world of war craft and doesn't even focusing on his studies..what a drag..but i suggest that you should talk to him try to show him what you feel about him seeing his ruining his life and focusing on crazy games that is too addictive..don't be afraid of telling him what your assessment to him..that's all i can say for now..tee hee

YOu should presuade him to quit his World of Warcraft game as it is really addicitive. If he has the discipline to limit his time in playing games and manage his time in studying as well as playing. Im sure he will do well for his exams.

hi rogue. i'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend's laziness and irresponsibility. its hard to cure laziness. it seems he lacks motivation to earn money and to develop himself. maybe because he is always taken care of, there's always somebody who provides for him that's why he doesn't feel the need to work or to finish college. he lacks motivation. maybe people providing for him should stop providing for him for a while. when he doesn't have anything, maybe he'll try to work and provide for himself. yeah i guess maybe you should leave him for a while. make him realize what he needs to do. there wouldn't always be people who would provide for him. he'll have to work for himself eventually.

[i]Hi roque, wow...quite tough! I guess this topic should be discussed with the two of you because in relationship, we always talk about future, plans and dreams and you can always insert this! I know how you feel because I myself will always love to have a man who has a dream and who is responsible but if he will not do anything to help himself grow, that is very disappointing! DO you think he has some problem? or just raise in a way like this? SO, I know that if you will be there to support him and your plans in the future might motivate him to look forward and do things whatever he can do this time![/i]

Hey there, I think there are these type of boys who are irresponsible and lazy. However, I, like your bf have something in common which is game addiction and I am trying really hard to get rid of it. I usually spens about $10 per day in cyber cafes to play WOW and nowadays I limit myself to just $5 per day and it is so not easy. I have to really push myself to stay at college until 9pm to avoid myself into falling inside the artificial cyberworld everyday and of course sometimes I lose control and play again. You must try to stop your bf from falling into this cyberworld. He will lose his sense of reality. ^^

There's a limit to everything that we can take. I know you love your boyfriend but what if he never changes and you can take it anymore? Sometimes no matter how we love the person, we just cant tolerate or take their faults anymore. Try to have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell him to be more responsible with his life. The world is getting harder and harder to live in and he needs to get a job. His parents are not gonna be there for him forever. You wont too if you get tired of him.

well... i understand ur feeling... my dear is different with ur boyfriend... he is a very good person in study... he now working n taking his part-time BA.... i happy tat he is so hardworking but sometime i really dun understand wat he 1.... he wish to get a very good result in his exam... when he get B, he will said tat he wish to take the exam again... i noe he is hardworking, tat is good... but i really dun understand... B is oledi a very good result.... for me, if i get B, i happy n i dun wish to waste my money my time to re-do it... n somemore v hv our own plan... v wish to bough house then v can stay together... now, both of us r so far n very difficult to meet up... 1 years 4-5 times oli... so i really wish tat v can save more money on tat... but if he really 2 re-do his exam, then v hv 2 spent more money... I noe mayb tat is my problem... i expact too much from him... but ,,, actually i oso wish 2 further my study ... just i wish to earn more money,so i decide to hold on my study 1st... i duno whether i rite or wrong but sometime will really feel sad coz u r doing so many things for him, u love him so much but he like just thinking hisself... it really hurt.... not to said tat he dun love u, he do love u n very good to u, just wat u 1, he duno... friend, from my experience, u must hv a talk with ur boyfriend.. like me, now, both of us is very ok... coz after v talk, ya, when talk it really very hurt n pain, u will cry... u will scared coz duno wat will happen later but, dun worry, things will be settle if u r face it... now, my dear noe i was thinking n i noe wat he is thinking, so, v can find out a better way to b together.... if u dun hv a talk with ur boy friend, he will just think u ok with it n he will continue doing the same things... u will disappointed coz he is not changing but he won't noe tat u r disappointed coz u din said anything... friend, guy is like tat, if u din said, he will nvr noe wat u thinking,,, guy r very careless on all this matter... so, my advice is just hv a talk with him.... if not, if u keep disappointed with him, u n him oso very difficult to stay for long.... Wish u happy ....

first of all,i am so sorry to hear about it.i figure, he has been the love of your life. And you can do everthing for him. no luck,he isn't. on contrast,he is irresponsible guy.he is lazy and care about nothing. you know, i have got nonthing about him, makes me feel he is not the guy for you. now, you may tell him how you feel. however, you are afraid you will break up because of this. even, you still think he has never treated you badly.actually, it isn't a pefect reason. you start to complain and feel bad, so you have changed out of cotral. it's just……you can't feel it at once. so, can try to talk with him about your feeling and above all, hope him to chang. in fact, maybe he is where he is because of you. please, belive in time waits for no one good luck