I feel like a prisoner!

omg i am very sorry to hear this! not to sound prying, and you do not have to answer, but does he hit you ever? it just sounds like an abusive relationship. well, it is, actually- if not physical then he is for sure being emotionally abusive to you by being so controlling. are you ever afraid of him, or afraid for you or your children? i feel so awful for you! living like that is no way to live. can you talk to him? i really don't know what to tell you right now without knowing all of the facts. i dated a guy like that, possibly worse, so i can sympathize. let me know if you ever would like to talk.

Wow I'm really sorry to hear that! I couldn't imagine how you must feel. :( Have you tried talking to him about it?

Forgive me for being harsh but I've been there, done that. It won't likely get better. It will probably get worse. Right now it is emotional abuse, it may turn into physical abuse. Counseling might be helpful...but men like that don't generally want to go. If you could go alone at least you would get some help but it doesn't sound like he would allow that either. He's got you right where he wants you, it's a controlling man's dream. He has total control over everything and if you don't like it, too bad...you have no means to leave him. You and your little ones deserve better than him. All you can really do is try to have a well prepared discussion with him. Layout the budget in full. Write it or type it up...all of the household income plus all of the bills, including gas, food, extra money and savings. Also figure up an expense sheet for everything you do at home...just in case he pulls the "I work, you don't" card. Stay at home moms work hard and deserve some compensation beyond the joys of parenting. Show him how much money you save him by staying home and taking care of everything. If you were to work or just not be in the picture, he would have to spend a lot of money on childcare and house keeping. Probably though none of this will change his feelings. It might even make him tighten your leash even more when he sees that you are trying to regain equal control in the relationship. Sorry to say this but your best bet is to start looking for friends or family that you can stay with until you can get yourself on your own two feet again.

Try anyhow to come out of the situation, i can understand ur condition, try doing something at home, if possible.I dont know the situations at ur place but in India, women take tutions and do such many other works at home..

Sounds like he has some major control and trust issues going on to me. Bringing my sister out of an abusive relationship (abuse comes both physical and mental) was no easy task. So I am familiar with some of it. First I would explore the reason for his distrust of you. Two things here...either he doesn't trust you with the finances of the family or he needs it himself for something else. Once you find the reason for the trust problem the other will probably come with it. I assume you have children and if so you have to act on this yesterday! If he is physically abusive then you need to find a safe zone yesterday. Good Luck and I hope all goes well!

This is indeed a tough situation to be in. Let me tell you, I used to be just like this with my wife. In my case, it was a pride thing. Here I was making the money and I felt that it was "my money." I am a Christian too and I can tell you, this is a huge deal. The number one reason for divorce among couples (believers or not) is over financial issues. You spoke about counseling and how your husband said that you guys can't afford it. I was wondering what state you live in. I am in the process of finishing my degree in Psychology and will be doing my further training through a ministry that offers counseling on a donation basis. They don't charge you if you don't have the money. Their "expertise" is marital/couples counseling. My wife and I have sat in on some sessions with them and it was tremendous. I can tell you, it's a tough think to break down the wall of pride, but God can certainly do it. If you are interested, I can possibly help you find someone to do counseling on a donations basis where you live.

Oh, my dear this is abuse. Your husband may not hit you physically but he batters you emotionally. You are not "allowed" to go anywhere without him? Wake up dear lady this is not the middle ages where women were property. He treats you like a child, I don't know how you can tolerate this situation. You are unhappy and it reflects on your children as well. So you are not doing them any favours by enduring this. Arrange to go to marriage counselling by yourself. I know you have no money of your own but maybe there is a community service that will help you out. Also check out women's shelters in your area if you decide to leave at some point. If you have parents and other family ask them if you can borrow some money if you need it. Don't act rash but make your plans very arefully without discussing them with your husband. You are so young, you deserve a happy life and so do your children. Be strong and follow your heart but do it in a carefully planned way. My very best wishes to you.

I feel very upset for you...i was in the same boat years ago before i met my husband. I could'nt go out, he stopped me working and use to hit me. I was aloud to go to the shops once across the road and he watched me through the window with a stop watch in his hand. when i got back we had a row because i was longer than he thought,he accused me off chatting up the guy on the shop counter. You will be very miserable if you don't get out

So why are you putting up with this lifestyle if you are so miserable? Like you I had that kind of a life with my ex. I finally reached the point that I couldn't stand it anymore and said ENOUGH. He was rather shocked when I put my foot down, and we divorced. I'm no longer a mouse, and no longer afraid to stand up for myself. So, stand up to your husband and tell him you will NOT tolerate this anymore!

thats why i hate marriage,,you never know when a person changes, living alone has more freedom,,

What you are describing is ABSOLUTELY emotional abuse. And usually the abuse gets worse - to a point where the abused feels like they have no alternative but to put up with it. They even begin to think the abuser does this solely out of love. This is all wrong. This type of abuse is all about control. My advice is to get counseling and FAST! If that doesn't work, get out. I'm not one to say it's OK to rush into divorce, but this type of abuse needs to stop and stop NOW. There is no reason for it. Good luck to you.

To be honest, i think that you are so foolish, in modern society, every person should depend on him or herself, not relied on somebody else, or the result often will be miserable. You don't work, so you don't have money. I know exactly your situation because my anut has the same dilemma like you, though she is forty years old now, but my anut has been got a job as accountant now, you should get out to find a job. this is my opinion just for reference .

It sounds to me like a money issue. Do you know how things are going for him at his work? Or have you (in the past) been not so careful with money as you should be? You have a new baby in the house and you know how expensive they can be. I think you should try talking to him again and ask him if you all are having money problems. Explain to him why you wonder and remind him that you are partners in this and you want to help. And if he gets angry again, then maybe you could take to your minister about it or his parents or your parents.

hi. i am sorry you are in a such situation... i hope he doesn't hit you... but what he is doing right now may not be physical abuse but it also a form of emotional abuse which is very sad to hear is happening to you right now. why dont you try talking to him? heart to heart and explain to him what you feel about the things between the two of you, it might still work out for the better, hope you are ok and god bless for you and your family

This is not a healthy situation for you to be in. I was in a controling one just a you are now. So was my daughter. We both almost got killed, but we got out I just gathered my strength and did it. My daughter with my help got out. Please please do something to get out of this relationship before it goes bad, or I should say worse. When a person is that controling they are or can be a very dangerous person. You can get help, find out while he is at work who you can turn to for help. The type of treatment you are receiving is abuse, not physical...but mental. It will change, it always does. When they see that they will get away with it this way they go further. You at least need to let someone close to you, a friend, or family memebr, church memebr, anyone that you can talk to, and it's best to tell a few people what's going on if you can. So that you have a few people that know what's happening if it goes further and so that you may be able to get help from them. I urge you to try to save money somehow, even if it's a dollar here and there. But please fight for your sanity and safety and your childrens. You do not want your children growing up thinking this is the way things are suppose to be. Or being left with him if anything happens to you. Be tough, hold your head high, find strength within and do what you can.

You need to sit down and talk to him about how you are feeling. If this continues I think that things will only get worse for you and that will make you and your children unhappy. Life is too short to be unhappy. I have been with a control freak and left him because of this reason as well as that many controllers do become physically abusive. My ex did. I would hate to see that happen to you.

This is a prime example of why I am against the stay at home mom thing. This happens in a lot of cases.

Have you considered going to a church counselor? They don't charge anything; they're completely free, so there's no excuse for not going to counseling. Even if your husband refuses to go to counseling after he finds out you both can get it for free, you should go yourself to be able to understand your situation better. Just tell your husband that YOU need counseling so he'll either let you go by yourself, or he can go with you. I haven't seen anything that asks about your husband's reason for demanding that you go nowhere without him. Have you given him any reason for feeling insecure in your marriage? Think about that honestly. Where did you go and what did you do before he started demanding that you go nowhere without him? He may simply be jealous of your not having to work for a living and thinks it's unfair that you go out while he works. I'm not condoning his actions, but it may be why he acts the way he does. If this IS the case, he's obviously not seeing how hard motherhood or housework is! IF he had a sense of humor (which I strongly doubt), if I were you, I'd make up a 'bill' for my services: maid, cook, nurse, accountant, babysitter, etc. and hand it to him. Yes, he definitely is a controlling person, but that always stems from insecurity. Is this his first marriage or was he married before? If he was married previously, did his ex-wife cheat on him? Did she take advantage of him? That could be his reason for acting this way, even though it is still not a good excuse. This man needs counseling, from what you've said. It's not fair to judge someone without first hearing their side of the situation and I doubt we'll get that here. But, from the way you've described him, he's definitely suffering from insecurity. I'm surprised that he still allows you to handle the bills at all. It's obvious that you are getting nowhere by only seeing what you are not getting. You need to explore the reason WHY your husband is the way he is and try to talk with him about that. Maybe he's just very worried about the money situation. Maybe he's seen a similar situation with relatives or friends that ended very badly and he's afraid of it happening to him. Maybe he's been taken advantage of before. Whatever his reasoning is for his behavior, it will boil down to insecurity. Once that issue is addressed, you guys just might be able to talk about what's really bothering him and work towards a more loving, trusting relationship. I wish you the best.

Sorry to hear about your situation, by the way did you finish you college studies? Regarding to you situation I feel bad, I was a mom of two boys but i never quit my job thinking that i give five years to finish my course and additional 6 months for review just to get a license, I set my mind that i need to earn also for me not to be totally dependent to my husband, i can buy what i want whithout begging him to give me money. I think your husband is too tight, he shouldn't treat you like that, you are his wife and he should give you everything that you need, you dont need to beg just to give you money for allowances and other miscellaneous it's his duty to provide everything that you need since he did not permit you to work, also what is his problem if you go out without him? he's paranoid,he makes you feel that you are hopeless, dont let him do that to you, as an individual we man and woman had all the same right, and dont let you husbad take that right from you, he makes you battered emotionally. Talk to him and tell him what you really feel, tell him how sorry you are in your situation, that you feel like your a prison in your house,if he love you he will understand you and he will not let you feel that way, maybe he's not aware of what you truly feel. You need to do it for youa dn your family's welfare. Hope you'll overcome that situation, pray to God to give you strength. GoOd day and God Bless..

I've seen quite few abusive relationships and they all start this way. Then verbal, the physical. Your husband b and you need counseling. Abuse is a step by step process. You are in the first stages. Yo must act now tom prevent it from going into the worse stages. Sorry to be blunt but, I have intervened more than once on behalf of female friends.