Chapter Two Of Stay-At-Home Moms

I saw that discussion and gave my own two cents...to the OP and the one that made that rude comment. It irritates me to no end when people make blanket statements based on a small portion of the population. Guess what? "Working moms" (which by the way I think is a stupid title) can have controlling jerks for husbands too. It's the men in the relationships who are the problems, not the wive's for choosing to stay home or not. The only time I see the SAHM thing as a problem is if it's the husband's choice as a way to control the wife even more...and then it's still not the wife's fault! Ok, maybe it could be argued that if a husband is that bad she should have left him long before it got to that point but that's not a realistic opinion. Most men like this are so subtle it's too late by the time the wife realizes how bad it is.

I think that is one of the most ridiculous things I have heard yet! What the hell does rather or not a mom is a "working mom" or a "stay at home mom" have to do with rather or not their relationship works? Nothing! That's what! I am a stay at home mom also and I get so sick of all the ignorant comments that some other people, and "working moms" make about it, especially the ones that say or imply that I am lazy or that they are better then me just because they work outside their home. Just because I choose to be a stay at home mom because I enjoy spending quality time with my kids and because I think that is what is best for them, does not mean that I am lazy or less then a working mom! In fact, I work very hard inside my home! Now being a stay at home mom means my relationship is not going to work? Tell that to my husband of 9 years! Honestly! I feel ya!

I'm a stay at home mom of 4 very young children. My husband is the most amazing man I have ever known and is very supportive of me, my work as a wife and a mother and loves that I stay home with our children. We believe strongly that since God gave us these particular children that He also intends for us to raise them, it's not someone else's job! I have a friend who's husband is controlling and makes up ridiculous rules about her being a stay at home mom. If she wants to go out then she needs to find a way to earn $15 so she can have money to go to a movie or where ever it is she wants to go. I've known her husband for years and he's always been like this ... it had nothing to do with her being a stay at home mom. He was like this before they ever met.

You've reminded me of when I was very pregnant with my son and had a toddler at home. My sister in law, very drunk, left a long long letter in our mailbox one night. Most of it was nonsense, but it did include admonishments about how lazy I was and that I should go out and get a job. It was during this time that I was dealing with a toddler (the one in the picture)who showed signs that there was something seriously wrong with her. Still, the image of my going to some place and asking for a job when I'm about ready to drop out a kid was pretty funny.

I don't really see how being a sahm is responsible for a husbands controlling behavior, that husband has a problem not being a sahm. I'm a sahm too and my husband is just fine with it and he actually prefers it as we know our children with me and getting raised the way we want and not having bad influences on them.

I agree with you,I am a single mom and have always had to work when I could,do to illness I have not always been able to work the past few years.But I can't stand that people think a stay at home mom doesn't have a job.If they care about their family and do what is best for them then they don't only have a full time job,they have a triple time job,it never ends at 5pm.You can't just punch a time clock and say I am done.It is a lot of hard work,and it doesn't pay in cash,just in the rewards of having a happy family.Hats off to you,good luck.

i was a stay at home mom when my kids were younger and am again because i am on sick leave. my youngest daughter is thrilled that i am home and i am glad that i can be home for her now too.

Well I believe that being a stay at home mum is a career choice and should be honored in the same way as a women choosing to go into law. It is an important career choice. I do not think that women as such should have to make it but I believe that a stay at home parent is important in the life of a young child. I happen to know a very nice man who wanted to stay home to look after the children while his wife went back to work. It was her choice. It came down to child care and he said no I will stay with them as I believe in it and I want to so he did. I worked with him before he quit. He was an environmental scientist who made a life choice that was important to him. I respect him for it. I find it objectionable that women are condemned for staying at home to rear their children. I hear all these arguments that they contribute no income. Yeah the economic rationalists love that one. You cannot assess everything humans do by the money they contribute. In a perfect world stay at home mums would be paid by the government for the important role they play in society. It would not be a huge income but it would be an income. I know there are some people who would feel that I have no place in this discussion. I remember at high school a teacher asking every girl what career have you chosen and I said I want to get married and have children. She looked at me like I had broken a golden rule and said that is not a career. Well it should be. All the other girls wanted to be lawyers and accountants and stuff I just wanted kids and you now the saddest thing of all is that I am probably the only one of them that never had any children and now I cannot. I will never have children and it is all I ever wanted. I just never met a guy and got married and now that I am in menopause I am too old. Life sucks sometimes. But that does not change my feelings. Being a mother is a career and it is a very important one.

I've done both. SAHM and worked outside the home and my husband is who he is regardless of what i'm doing. Right now we've decided together that I should stay at home because we both prefer that our kids spend the majority of their time with one of us. So the control thing doesn't have anything to do with the fact that shes a SAHM, this man just has issues that need to be dealt with.

i think its wrong to be against stay at home moms and i dont think there is anything wrong in that. even i am a stay at home mom we spend our life to our husband and our children and takecare of them and i dont think any thing before we commit and is this the kind of thing we need to get in return. after so many efforts i think its not the thing we have to get in life, dont you think so?

I am a SAHM, and it's not a problem on my husband, coz we are still okay financially, and most of all my son is only 9 months old, too young to leave to work. I just don't understand why some husband acted that way,if they have lots of kids then those kids really needs a mom at home. That fellow myloter's husband doesn't understand maybe he is struggling financially that's why he likes to send his wife to work and earn money while thier kids left at home with own thier own. Happy posting.

The issue is not really of stay at home moms. Your husband is what he is no matter what is your status as a woman whether you have a career or not he is the same person no matter what. The only advantage you have as a woman if you have work is that you have financial ability to leave your husband if he is too controlling or have a bad habit to break. The disadvantage of stay at home mom is that you have to think a million times before leaving your husband because you have to think of your kids and yourself. You have to think how will you support yourself and your kids if you dont have your own income. Atleast thats what happened to some of the woman I know.

I am also a SAHM, but if it caused a problem in my marriage I would probably go back to work. I doubt the benefits of being a SAHM out weigh the benefits of having two parents who treat each other with kindness, love, and respect.

As far as I am concerned being a MOM is a job or rather a career! I don't care if it is a SAHM, WAHM or a mom that juggles both home and outside work. There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM and probably more women wish they could be a SAHM. I know when my children were younger I would have loved to stay at home with them. Our meals would have been better and I would have saved way more money than I did. I think my kids would have been better looked after if that had been the case. (Please don't get upset, not saying it all can't be juggled, just speaking from my own personal experience!) I know that I would have cooked more nutritious meals instead of eating the easy fast food or boxed dinners that I served on many evenings. The house would have been much cleaner and things more organized than they were. Anyone who thinks that being a SAHM is not a JOB they need to be put in the situation themselves. Walking a mile in someone's shoes can open eyes and closed minds!

The only remark that seems to me valid to make to this outburst is that it appears that you have decided to be the wife of a jerk and therefore take on one more kid before you even started to have his. I guess that was your choice ... or the cross you decided to bear. Whateva!!!