The looks some mothers get....

I think alot of parents have more money than other parents do and they look at some of the other parents with disgust, just because they say no. Chances are, the parent doesn't have the money for it or the child is not deserving of the item.

[i]Hi StrawberryKisses, I am not a mom yet but I remember when I was a kid, I will be mad when Mom will not buy the things that I want and point..hahah..BUt, I do know if I cried also but as far as I remember, I will not talk to Mom but I will not cry! LOL! ANyway, I have friends who will explain softly to their kids why they can't get it right now and some will understand, maybe some people are expecting the Mother to talk to the child and explain to her so that there will be no crying but that is also something that we can't control but maybe we can minimize once we will take time to give time to explain and will not just tolerate the kids who are crying![/i]

course it comes back to what you've taught your child about what is proper and what is not proper to do in a public place. as kids (5 or so is earliest i can remember) my sister and i followed right behind my mother thru the store. if we wanted something we asked for it. if she said no, we shut up about it and followed along. we NEVER threw fits, we NEVER started crying. shoot, she could leave us in the waiting room of the doctors office and we would play or sit quietly while she was with the doctor. we were always well behaved while out in public. we were TAUGHT MANNERS!! which it seems a lot of parents dont even bother to do anymore.

I know I have seen this happen so far all but one time I havent had to go thru this thou. Luckily our 21 month old isnt to much into things, she likes walking and watching people and if anything wants a bananna or strawberry if she sees them. I do believe if a child is screaming at the top of their lungs for a long time and I dont like it I have the freedome to go to another section. Although I think I would take my child outside and away from the situation.

I used to be the same way before I had kids and I feel like that is the only way I can survive the scrutiny and looks you get in the stores on those rough days with your kids. I used to be real critical of kids in the store who's mothers were loud and yelling at their kids, stuff like that, thinking I WOULD never be that impatient with my kids--boy was a wrong. The fact is I have run into those days with my children and I feel like my job as a mother is literally a 24 hour job, I rarely if ever get days off from parenting and I sympathize SOOO much with single mothers because I feel sometimes like that myself even though my kids father and us live together. I just never expected it could get exhausting as it does some days to be a parent and those are the days its hardest to keep my calm and it feels like the rules go right out of the window (the rules you set for YOURSELF I mean) when your tired. Most of the times I do catch myself and have to take a breath realizing that Im just tired and I try to just listen to my kids harder. Still, I do have days where I do not do this and Im louder with my kids but I think people should be fair and realize that sometimes parents are just TIRED. Or maybe their kids are just TIRED and their parents have been running around all day catching up on chores. Me and boyfriend get one day that he is off now and we literally do that and its exhausting to the kids but its one day we have together so its go go go. Another reason kids can get unsettled and maybe having tantrums is that they get hungry and let me tell you theres many days where Im running around town and sometimes even forget that kids have not eating lunch and have to catch up, it happens it does not make me a bad mother and thats whats hard when you get the looks and stares. I am the mother who feels perfectly fine with my kids crying out loud after I tell them they cannot have something and after awhile of that they get the point--I think the biggest factor is that it crying actually making people uncomfortable and people will comment to quiet your kids down, its frustrating but you learn to expect it really. Theres so many elements to parenting that someone cannot understand until having their own I think, like me before kids, and thats why I can actually deal with the criticisms because I know they will understand when they decide to have kids and they couldnt possibly know so Im not as hurt for it, unless Im exhausted, LOL, then I get a little emotionally.

Yah I have faced such similar incidents. But I simply ignore the comments and the stare from those people. I know the best way to handle my child and and to teach her. So I really do not care what others think about me. One should really not worry much about what the others think but do ones duty as a parent. I do not prefer to give into the childs demands. The child will then get into the habit of doing it over and over again. We will be the only ones who will suffer. So its best to ignore others and do the right thing.

I think that people automatic think abuse when they hear a child crying. and they don't like to hear kids crying and making a fuss. It is something that kids do so they need to get over it. My own thoughts are that the little one ether hate shopping as my grandson did or they are tired. Shopping has to be done and parents can't always leave the little one with some one else. I learned that before going into the store if I told the kids they weren't going to get any thing they accepted it and they would still ask but when I reminded them what was said in the car they accepted it and we went on. Personally I don't think that kids need something every time they go to the store. These people that look at the parents with disgust need to get a life and get over the fact that kids fuss and throw fits in store and other place.

I just feel people should mind their own business. I'm sure whatever reason why the parent said no is for a good reaoson && if not, it's still not our problem. Some kids might act out at the store, but that still doesn't mean that parent deserves a nasty glare. We don't know the reason why that child is acting out, maybe its a child who had a bad day, or maybe the child is just being selfish, or maybe, just maybe that child has some other problems. People shouldn't judge.

I think that it happens because some parents give their children everything they want, and don't realize that all people can't afford that. When people do that to me I just ignore them. I mean it's my child and if people have a problem with the way I handle the situation by not giving her, her way then they can just look away. lol. Children need taught boundaries, and that just because they act out doesn't mean that they are going to get their way.

Because Some People are Know it alls and think there way of anything is always the Best..When my children were younger never had this problem..a swat on the bottom was all it took..now if you spank them in public you are looked on as a child abuser..all my 5 children are wonderful Adults with children of their own..

first of all i think MOST people just need to learn how to mind their own business. secondly, i have noticed the same thing and most of the time the people that stare do not have any kids with them and probably do not have any kids period. it is so easy to judge people when you have no clue where they are coming from and have not walked in their shoes. it is easier for those who have been there to sympathize and understand the situation better.

Well I don't know why :D But I would also say no to my kids if they wanted something when they haven't been good or so :) Think you need to let them know who the boss is.. Have a nice day..

people are not judging the mother because she said no to the child, thet are just fed up of hearing the child screaming.

I have 3 small children and sometimes they ask, beg, and plead for things in the stores. I will tell them no multiple times and the smallest one will cry. I try not to give in as much as possible. A lot of the things they want they do not need or they or unhealthy for them-candy, cookies, cakes, etc. I will try to ignore the stares I get, but most of the time people glance and keep it moving. I try to do the same when I see a parent with a crying child. I know how it is and I try to ignore it and keep up with my own kids.

LOL... it's funny you asked this! Just yesterday, my 5 year old preceded to throw a fit & have attitude with me because*I* said it was time to go and she was walking with*ME* and NOT her morning daycare provider. She decided to pull back and stand firm so I made her hold my hand the ENTIRE walk home (about 1/2 mile up the road) and she SCREAMED the WHOLE way home... cried like a 2 year old who couldn't get the piece of candy they sooo wanted... quite frankly, I didn't give a hoot! I proceeded to hold her hand and walk with my head up high. A REAL parent would see that what I was doing was whats best for the child. A NON parent would think I was being unreasonable... This may not be what you were looking for, but it was what I immediately thought of as I read your post...

I think its good for parent's to say no once and a while, because a child needs to learn that they cant always get everything they want and that everything dosent come easy in life, and I think that when you give a child everything they cry for, they become spoiled and they start to learn that if they rise a big enough fuss that there parents will give in to there every whim, but as for stairing at the parent I try not to stair at anyone, but on a few rare occasions I couldn't help but stair, but (not) because I felt disgusted with the parents decision not to give them the toy, but because I was never allowed to cry scream and beg and be disruptive anywhere especially in public and I think that some parents should discipline there kids a little more, but I try not to judge people as you said its not right to judge, I respect all mothers and parents because I know its hard work raising children.

Some people are really like that, but i never entertained that, i ignore those kind of people. They don't have a rights to judge us as a mother because they are not in our position. If my kids acted like that in pbulic i will not tolerate it coz they do that again and again when they like something. I want to be a mother on my kids not a slave that always follows what they wanted even it's unnecessary. Happy posting.

I agree with tgrider, people will always have something to say. In my opinion, when it comes to disciplining a child, to each his own. Sometimes my own family would flash a weird look at me everytime I would say no to my 9-month old daughter. For me, it is better to start them young. We should never underestimate the intellect of young children. It is best if they would recognize authority at a very young age. I don't want to raise a brat. My daughter has to learn that she can't have her way all the time. This will also raise her emotional quotient and I'd like to have a child with high EQ.

My twins are only 6 months old, but I remember when they were probably 2 months or so, and my mom & I had taken them to the mall with us. My son started crying (he gets very upset) because he was hungry & you should've seen the looks people gave me. They stared me down like I was trying to kill him or something. It was very embarrassing & rude.

People are going to give you looks no matter what you do. They don't know how to keep their comments to themselves. I can't stand people like that. My 4 year old screams everytime I say now she can't have candy in the store. Most of the time its because there is something at home for her to snack on. She doesn't need the candy just because we took a trip to the store. Your the mother, you know whats best for your child. Ignore other people, they are stupid anyways, they are probably the type to give in to a crying child.