Have you or your spouse gotten "fixed"?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
September 29, 2008 8:33am CST
I tried to get my tubes tied after my twins were born. I planned it with my doctors to get the tubal the very next morning after the delivery. So all that night I could have nothing to eat or drink, except a small sip of water when I took my pain pills.
Around 1pm the next day they told me they would be unable to do my procedure because they'd had too many emergency c-sections that day. We planned to re-schedule the procedure 6 weeks later, but unfortunatly my insurance cancelled on me because it was only supposed to cover the pregnancy. I ended up not being able to get the tubal.
So, a few years go by and I end up pregnant again. This time I decided to make hubby get fixed. He went while I was pregnant. It was an awful procedure. The doctor told him it looked as if there had been some trauma, because the tube that was supposed to be cut didn't look the way it was supposed to. Actually the doctor wasn't even sure he cut the right tube. He sent it to the lab and we never heard back so we assumed it was the right one.
Anyways, all the poking and prodding trying to find the correct tube to cut left hubby in tons of pain. Normally a man will feel better within a week of having this procedure, but hubby took months to heal. He had to go back a couple weeks later because there was a large lump that shouldn't have been there. It was a hemotoma (sp?). Basically a collection of blood causing a bruise. It was swollen and painful.
Well he finally healed after a few months, and life went on as normal, but then we got the doctor bill. Apparently our insurance didn't cover the procedure although I called them before and they said it would be covered 100%. So now we owed this doctor money and hubby couldn't go back for his check up to ensure the procedure worked.
After my son was born and life got back to normal I was a bit worried, but months went by with no signs of his procedure not working, so we relaxed a little.
When my son was 9 months old I found out I was pregnant again! The procedure didn't work!
So again I planned a tubal, because hubby refused to get his vasectomy done again. Can't blame him, lol.
The doctors I saw this time would not do the tubal immediatly after birth, I had to wait about 8 weeks. I had planned the procedure for March, but then hubby got a promotion and was unable to take the time off work for me to get the procedure, and we had no one to help me around the house and take care of the kids. So again I had to put it off.
In the end I opted to get an IUD, which has thus far worked (fingers crossed). I now have 10 years to plan my tubal, and at the moment I'm in really no hurry. It's not that I want anymore kids. It's just that life with 5 kids and hubby working 50 hours a week leaves very little time to plan an operation that will leave me useless for a few days.
Have you or your spouse been fixed, or do you want to be? Did it go well or were there complications?
4 people like this
12 responses
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
29 Sep 08
Funny how things sometimes turn out isnt it? My hubby went to get fixed after our 3rd child, he was sure he didnt want anymore and I, well I always wanted 1 more but we went for it.
They actually had him on the table, stripped and all and then said "WAIT"! That we had to wait 30 days to make sure it was what we wanted and all. He never had a "talk" with some other guy there to make sure I guess that you had talked it all over. Well in due course, we were unable to get there for the next appointment.
Well when our 3rd child was a little older I told him I would really love 1 more and we talked. We decided to go for it. I had 2 little girls and 1 boy at the time. I told him wouldnt it be great to round it out? Well I was hoping for a boy, didnt REALLY matter but I had wanted 2 boys, 2 girls ever since I could remember.
SURPRISE twin girls!! LOL! So it didnt really round out. I asked to be fixed after and my doctor also wouldnt, I dont know why to this day. Wasnt shortly after that I was pregnant again (birth control doesnt always work) and we had another little girl. We asked once again and still a no. By this time our son was sick of girls .. lol
We waited til we got more settled, bought a 5 bedroom house and stuff. Well the youngest got bigger and I REALLY wanted another one, yep I got my way. We had him YES another boy finally. Good thing as oldest son said if ya have a girl dont bring her home.. lol
After that I was done and so was hubby, this time he went to be fixed, different doctor and had it done when he was suppose to no waiting!
Now we also have a 21 month old too, but she is our granddaughter that we have guardianship of and so we still ended up with another little bundle. We got her basically from birth, as she has lived with us the whole time but legally when she was 5 months old. I wouldnt change a thing .. except for maybe more time in a day!
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
29 Sep 08
Wow that's crazy. Well I certainly didn't want anymore children, but I am happy at the way things have turned out. I am hoping I won't get pregnant again now. Enough is enough, lol.
1 person likes this
@jadegoat (89)
• United States
29 Sep 08
Fortunatly, My hubby had one and all went well. He had pain for about 2 weeks and it took. Our son is now 3 and I have yet to get preggers. I am sorry to hear you and your husband have both been through the pain with no results.
I just wonder if God doesn't have other plans for your family with all the failed attempts.
I know being home with small children while hubsand is at work all day can seem a daunting task. It will go by faster than you know and then you will wish you could have these days back. I am already feeling this with my daughter starting school next year.
God Bless and happy kids and Marriage.
1 person likes this
@laglen (19759)
• United States
20 Oct 08
My gosh, how awful. Around here, when you give birth, they will do it right away! I have one child so I do not have my tubes tied, I tried forever to get pregnant again. Now I am 36, I'm guessing this isn't going to happen. I am so sorry for you. I can't imagine how you are supposed to get the operation while taking care of 5 kids!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
20 Oct 08
Well the doctors don't really care about that, do they? If I happen to get pregnant again, which I hope I don't, I will demand they do it right then and there, I won't leave the hospital until it is done.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
29 Sep 08
After our son was born we had our boy and we had 3 kids so we decided to stop. We had thought about a 4th, but we wanted to be able to provide for our kids. So my husband decided he was going to get fixed. it was a much easier procedure for him then for me to get done. So he went in one morning and got it done. it was actually the same day as we were leaving to go visit his brother. he was a little sore and walked a little funny for a few days but he didn't have too much pain. everything went well for him. i think if i were you i would have went after that doctor.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
29 Sep 08
Well we can't say forsure it was the doctor's fault. There is a percentage of men who's tubes grow back. Also there is always a chance the procedure didn't work in the first place, which is why he was supposed to go back 6 weeks later to test his "stuff" to make sure he was sterile. He didn't do that due to our insurance mix up, so we got nothing on this doctor. If he had gone back and the doc said he was sterile, we probably still would have nothing, but at least we had a better chance.
It's okay though because I love my kids and part of me was wanting 1 more anyways. I love little babies... I just find the older ones more difficult, lol.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
30 Sep 08
hubby and i have 2 girls, ages 15 and 11. in between the 2 girls, i had a miscarriage, so after that, hubby and i decided that when i got pregnant with our next daughter, we would have something done (the misscarriage really took a lot out of me!) so when i was pregnant with my last daughter, i ended up planning a c section so i could have a tubal.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
30 Sep 08
Wow, I'm surprised they let you plan a c-section. I would have done that with my twins if they'd let me.
I'd been wondering during my last pregnancy whether or not I wanted a c-section, my biggest fear was the recovery time. My husband only had a week off work, and I had no one else to help me out. I didn't end up getting the c-section obviously.
@sdmoonchild (731)
• United States
30 Sep 08
I had tubal litigation done shortly after the birth of my younger daughter who is now 18. I was 21 when I had it done because I didn't want any more children, I wanted to work and accomplish a few goals, instead of raising children. The first doctor that I had didn't want to do it because I would have to get my husband's permission (now ex husband). I told him to take a hike, its my body and I don't want to have any more kids. The second doctor was a female doctor and she did it right away, no questions asked. I am glad that I made the choice. I have two great daughters and that is all I wanted.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
30 Sep 08
In today's world, a husband's opinion means nothing, lol. But nearly 20 years ago, I can sort of understand why they wanted your husband's ok first. Although when I chose to get a tubal, I did discuss it with my husband first, so getting his ok wasn't the problem. We would have been happy with the 3 if I'd had the tubal the first time, although I'm glad I have the extra 2 now :)
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
30 Sep 08
definitely not... :-) i don't have any kids yet and i am dying to have one soon... so i definitely don't want to get my tubes tied first... in fact, i don't think i will ever do that in my life as i really love children... i just let it flows naturally... if God trusts me with many children, then i will accept them happily as children are the blessings from God... take care and have a nice day...
@AeroChickie (459)
• Canada
29 Sep 08
I would love to get my tubes tied - but I don't think I would be able to find a doctor willing to do it because of my younger age, and the fact that I don't have kids. So, my husband will probably end up getting a vasectomy (that is if the doctors will be more lenient letting him get one). But he's really nervous of the idea of getting one. So until then we're just using other forms of BC.
Sorry to hear of the experiences that you went through. Hopefully the IUD will be an effective solution for you.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I got fixed after my daughter was born. I have one of each. That was enough for me. I was supposed to have it done the day after I gave birth, but they forgot to schedule it, so I had to wait 6 weeks to have it done.
I know a guy who said he never wanted kids. When he was 19 he asked the doctor do do a vasectomy on him and the doctor refused because of his age. Guess what? Less than 1 year later he was a father to TWINS!
@shell94 (990)
• Canada
29 Sep 08
I had to have a hystectomy 6 years ago due to health reasons. It was quite painful as I was cut from side to side. I am still having similar health problems due to them refusing to remove my ovaries as I was only 34 when the procedure was done. They think they will eventually need to remove them as well. But for the most part I have been quite happy since. I was in excruciating pain for many years prior to the surgery and was very ill EVERY month. The pain is much less then what it was and thats a huge plus for me. I just wish they had of done the COMPLETE job when I was in there. I do not look forward to a repeat surgical procedure...let alone the instant menopause it will create. Alas, it will be over though , once and for all!
