Am I a Useless MOM!!!

He will be fine. He will realize how important it is to do well in school. My son was difficult at that age. All he wanted to do was play. He is now 15 and on his way to making the honor roll again for the second year in a row. I stopped the nagging and let him be. It did wonders for him and I couldn't be prouder!

I don't think that you are useless at all. It is not easy being a mother with a young child. I have a five year old. He is still young yet for all the things that your son needs to learn. Your son might lack motivation it seems. I don't believe that you are failing him at all. As a mother you do try your best and that is all you can do. You just need patience. I know that is difficult at this time. Maybe the teacher can set more time aside for him to help encourage him. Just be understanding and loving toward him. I hope that this helped a little.

Oh no my friend you are not a useless mom, the fact that you are asking for help is a big step. first I think you must know what is the things that interest your son, like my kids, they are home schooled, their interest are on arts and colorings, making crafts, drawing and so I teach any subject matter and I always make it a point to involve some crafts on it. He is just 7 as you say, maybe you should slow down a bit. Don't loose your mind my friend, you just have to be creative on helping your son learn. oh I remember me and my 3 year old was learning about letter e and so I fried eggs on the shape of an E.

I must say this is a very difficult situation, and I see you already got many advices and tips on it, but still I would like to recommend this to you. When I was younger..(not 7, but around 14) I was misbehaving and not learning anything on school, which has been very stupid of me! Ofcourse, I know it now, but he doesn't know it! I don't wanna say you're an useless mom, but I think you should be better and more strict to your kid. Don't give him everything he wants! Don't let him go outside and play, or get behind a computer, or even get something to EAT, before he has done his homework! This will give him a reason to do his homework, which he will ofcourse be doing better with. I know this is a hard thing to do, but you really should be more strict to him. Don't let him be the boss on you, and let him get what he wants...I have been a problem kid as well, until' my parents were getting more strict against me, which made me very angry, and now I know, I've hurten my parents really bad with it..But I was still young and not thinking correctly..but they did succees with being more strict! Because I actually started doing better on school, get better grades, and do everything what the teachers say, and what my parents wanted me to do at home! Believ me, if you are going to be more strict against him, you will succees! But he will try things, like crying, screaming or whatever. But don't let that take you down, because that's what he's trying to reach with it! So when this happens, just send him to his room, and let him do his homework, and say that to him. But don't yell at him, because you need to stay calm and relaxed (even if you are not..) I can tell you for sure if you follow my advice, you will see an improvement within a few days! I wish you all the best of luck with this! Good luck to you, and your kid!!

No you are not a useless mom. Please try to understand. He is just 7. Just a small kid. I think he is a normal kid. If he doesnt behave like that only you will have to worry. Try to buy and give him games where he could learn something. Scrable, Monopoly etc. You can get him to learn lot of things without his knowledge. Being nice and kind to him is ok but you will have to speak to his teachers too. Teachers too should know to handle him in a tactful way so that he'll think of doing well. But I think you should give him some time. I'm sure he'll do better than others.

Sounds to me like he's a little bit like all of my children rolled into one. My son was like your son when he was younger.....well, all through school. He's since graduated and is working. He never took notes and never did his homework because as he told one teacher, "it's stupid." He felt that if he learned by listening that homework was stupid because you can look the answers up in a book....you don't have to remember things. He believed the only scores that actually counted were tests. I worried a lot about that but he ended up doing really well in school, despite the marks against him for not doing his homework. His teachers told me not to worry that he was learning. One teacher said every kid in the class was taking notes except for Ben. She thought he was low (he has diabetes) so she asked him if he were okay. He said yeah. Then she got upset, feeling like he wasn't listening. She started asking him questions, covering what they had just discussed and he answered her immediately. He didn't study for his ACT and ended up getting a 26 with 28 being the highest. Some kids are just like that and get bored in class. Your son may be one of those. My daughters on the other hand liked doing homework but were some of those kids that know the stuff but when faced with a test can't remember. My youngest one was always talking when the teacher didn't want her to, just like me. And again, both of them graduated with very good grades and no bad marks against them in behavior except liking to talk. I think we, as parent, sometimes get so stressed about school that we can stress our kids out as well. Or maybe your son is stubborn like my oldest daughter. If she were starving and you said, "eat this" she wouldn't just so that she could prove she was more stubborn than you. I kid you not. It's probably a little bit of all this stuff. Your son is probably learning like my son did by just listening since his grades, for the most part, sound good. And while my older children were unlike most kids and didn't like to talk in class, most 7 year olds like my youngest and myself when I was in school, love to whisper and talk during class. That fades with time...or in my case, not. I'm with everyone else on this. Don't pressure him, but let him know that you are there for him if he needs anything. If he does, I'm sure he will come to you. It's all about growing up. He'll be fine, I'm sure.

sound just like my son, when he was going through this he could not focus for long period of time he may need to be tested and see do he needs help. scolding him are spanking him is not going to help he can,t focus for long periods of time he is very smart but unless he can focus there is no avail for him.my son still battle with focing even now and he in high school

Your son is three years younger than my daughter. I am not making excuses but I do have the same problems but the thing is I threaten to take away the entertainment she loves best - cable - until I see improvements and sometimes it works. another thing I do is sit her down and ask her what is wrong. Have him talk to you maybe he is going through a patch and feels that you are adding to the pressure. Take him out for a fun day or just a day of enjoyment and allow him to be himself without the mention of school work. You have to be understanding and patient. I think he is in a rebellious mode and you nee to find out why. Let him feel that you are concerned about his feelings(not saying that you are not) but sometimes as parents we can be overbearing and hard when it comes unto education. I know because I am in that jam too. You have not failed him. you are a wonderful caring mother and he just choses to itnernalise whatever is going on. Remember he is still a baby and has certain issues to deal with too just like us adults. Allow him to feel comfortable enough to talk to you. no additional punishment will get him out of that mode. Talk to him and I mean talk to him, no scolding, no cussing out but let him know how you feel that you have failed him and that something is not right and you need to know what is wrong so that you both can fix it. Let him know that you love him and when thigns like these happen it hurts you alot. He needs you now more than ever!

We have the same situation I also have a son same as yours and exactly same age. Not all children are the same, I mean maybe we have the same situation but apparently we have different child personality. There are lot of things that have to be answered like are you having good relationship with your kid do you often talk to him, not only talking to him when he has assignments and homework to do,is he the only child does he have siblings, maybe he has something in mind that bothers him talk to him play with him do simple things with him that will make him open up to you. Sometimes children do things reverse so could catch more attention from their parents.He's just 7 never nag/scold him about his grades rather tell him that hes doing good but its better if he put more effort next time,things like that will make a child feel comfortable and boost his confidence.

Of course you are not, Rona. It's just maybe as matter of communication, close monitoring, and the consistency in giving rewards and punishments to kids. Although I still believe as a mom, different strokes for different folks, these things work for us when we had our boy misbehave in his classes and got low grades. This is a tough situation you have because yours is still at age 7 but I know you can pull this through..Pray all the time, it's the most powerful!

There are alot of stressed out kids. Some of them feel bad because they know that alot is expected of them. Have a heart to heart talk with your son. Maybe something is bothering him that's why he cant concentrate in school. Maybe he's being bullied in school. Maybe he's bored with school because he's just too smart for the lessons. There are alot of reasons for your child acting up. Just be patient with him.

same problem with me i also i have 7 years old bay he is in third statndred from last 7-8 months he is not taking interst in studies he marks score is getting low down in every semister in fact in this semister he got only passing markks at bottom line i am also very much confused bcz i have done all the things arranged coaching for him even i changed my job bcz iwas very busy in my job and was going so far from my house bcz of him only i changed my job ready to do it on less money so that i could give attention to my baby but reasults are same as bfor i am also very much confused moreover i am single parent if you find out something to resolve it plz tell me

No, children learns in different kinds of methods. They learn if the one who taught them are effective and of course fun. They are interested a lot if you taught them with fun because they will take this as a fun and play method. I have an experience with this because my sister is my first teacher and she is very effective. I have learned a lot from her when I was still a kid like 3-4yrs old. She taught me everything from alphabets and numbers and also from playing chess! I found it interesting to learn from her because she made it fun and of course being a children this is one of the requirements in order to learn easily from something.

hi, rona! Academics is not the end all of life. There's a lot more other important things that matter in life other than learning Math and Science and Mandarin. So don't be so hard on your kid. Even if you send him to the best school you can afford, it is not a guarantee that he'll be rich or happy when he grows up. I'm sure you've got a really wonderful kid with loads of talent. I suggest you just try to discover it together and help him develop it further. In the end, character is what really counts in life...not academics.

If you are a useless mother, so am I. I have 5 kids and i think they just get "lazy" at that age. I think that they are kind of in between "stages" of their life and they are just testing the waters. I think he will be fine. Just keep on him to do well, but don't make him feel bad when he brings home a C instead of a B. Be supportive no matter what! Good luck! ~Stephanie

Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time dealing with your son's studies. I've been in that situation too.Don't hurt your son or even don't scold him it really won't work. He's only 7 and he still loves to play rather than to study. Have you tried the "reward thing"? try to compromise to your son that if he gives you a better grade you will give him a reward in return, this will inspire him to make it good in his class but don't give him such expensive things, maybe you could treat in his favorite restaurant or a movie date or a privelege to watch his favorite cartoon or tv show or you can buy him a cheap toy that you know he would really appreciate it. And don't forget to appreciate and give him good words whenever he shows you a good grade if you see that the grade is not that good encourage him that you know he is smart and he can make it better if he want it to.kids like his age loves to hear praises and encouraging words rather than scolding or hurting them.

You are not useless, you are faced with a strong willed child. Maybe you can take him around your city or on the internet looking at differet careers that may interest him and then explain to him the importance of a good education in reaching his goals. Explain it to him in money terms if you have to. Tell him how much money the profession of his choice can make if they apply themselves at school. My kids are very young still, but when I reach a point that I cannot conqure, I turn to a therapist. Not only for my kids, but for myself. To get a reevaluation of what I am doing, is it benifitial or hurtful, what can I do to improve... And maybe if he finds someone he feels comfortable talking to they can get him to tell them why he is being so defient and help him to deal with his emotions and feelings and help you guys communicate more effectively... Just a thought though...

You are not a useless mom. The only thing I would suggest is that spanking him, scolding him, and all of that won't make him do better. It will only drive his self-esteem down the tubes. This may be the reason why he's not doing well in school. Have you tested him for ADHD/ADD? Most parents don't realize their children have it until they get their children tested. My daughter was doing really bad in school, and I would tell her that she couldn't become President Of The United States unless she started doing well. Well, that wasn't going over well. I then got her tested for ADHD/ADD, and then she started doing well.

He's just a child and child tend to play rather than studying. You are doing fine as a mom giving him the education and love him. I to had 6 year old son. I know how it feel when you know that he is smart and why he's acting that way. I know my son is smart but sometime he's acting like he didn't knew the answer even to a very simplest calculation or spelling. For me it's just more attention that he needs. I'm sure after this he'll be back and be bright again.

Considering the fact that you are even disciplining him shows you are not a useless mom why not try and remove certain things he has such as COmputer TV Playstation etc. It worked on me when I was younger. I finnaly started to realize that hey! If i do that i wont be able to do this also make it varying degrees of punishment if he gets an F no electronics till its up to at least a D if its D then he can use one etc. Or change it at your own discretion