How do you see yourself as a parent? Rate yourself 1 - 10......
By dloveli
@dloveli (4366)
United States
October 3, 2008 7:24am CST
I see so many children these days misbehaving,and disrespecting. In my opinion they are totally out of control. I began to think of myself as a parent. Was I a good parent? Did I teach all the right lessons? Did I yell too much? Maybe I should've spanked more? I am a good parent. I have two children. One of which is 20. She has no children, doesnt use drugs, completed school. She has been in a serious relationship with a great young man for some time now. I feel a great amount of pride when I speak of her. Her value system is outstanding. I only hope her children are like her. As for my other she is 13 and very much a momma's girl. She is completely the opposite of my oldest. She is more independent as far as taking the bus or doing things by herself. Her value system is wonderful as well. She is her own person. SHe is a little bit of a brat when she wants to be. ALl in all she is a good kid. I tried to teach them to do what they thought was right. Dont be a follower. Lead the way. I do think that I couldve had a bit more patience with them. Other than that I am happy with the way my parenting went. I have discussed it with them and they have told me I wasnt too hard on them. I let them speak freely. I think that this was a great was to open up a chain of dialogue. THey werent afraid to speak in their own words. It enabled them to be comfortable when speaking about sensitive issues. My oldest used to get so mad when her friends would want to talk to me. LOL. I rate myself an 8. I think there's always room for improvement.How about you?
3 people like this
20 responses
@seeths (413)
•
3 Oct 08
As of now my son is one year and nine months and I feel that he is well behaved and listen to us.He is quite intelligent and he can recognise and he is very quick in grasping.We feel really proud of him at the same time u tell him to do anything he does it.So out of 10 I guess as of now I can rate 8.5.I will leave the remaining.Touchwood.
Regards
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
3 Oct 08
It seems like you are a natural at this parenting thing. I hope you still feel this way when he becomes a teenager. In any case I do wish you the best of luck. If you can keep this momentum up you may just avoid the terrible twos. lol Thanks for sharing. dl
@grammasnook (1871)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I believe I have given all my children the values that they needed to grow into productive good adults. My main thing in life when they did something wrong was to remind them treat others like you want to be treated, that respect is not a right is it is earned and what goes around comes around. As a parent I made plenty of mistakes and I could never in a million years rate myself as a parent. Four of my children are over the age of 17 they have productive and so far happy lives. They call me all the time if they need help in making important decisions and we speak as adults. I can not take the credit of what my children have become that is something that they had put together. Sure as a parent I laid down the ground rules but it was thier decisions to follow and know right from wrong. There are obvious things that are wrong like hurting and killing stealing and stuff like that but lots of the right decisions one makes in daily life others could say I would never have done it that way so everything is contraversal when it comes to that. My children are the way they are because that is who they have decided to become.
2 people like this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
3 Oct 08
You have a great attitude towards the raising of your children. I am happy to hear that you dont take responsibility for what decisions they have made. I watched my friends mother blame herself for every decision my friend made. It was terrible. As parents we can suggest. We cant force. Its not up to us whether or not they take the right path and persevere. Its up to them. I commend you on that! I dont look forward to this ever happening to me and mine. I am sure we will not always agree. Lets just hope its not that horrible. LOL Thanks for sharing and Happy MyLotting dl
1 person likes this
@rainmark (4302)
•
3 Oct 08
I got a 10 months old baby boy and i am doing my best to give him a care and love that he needs. I do teaching him how to behave proper even on his young age. I do spoiled him sometimes for what he wants like giving him sweets but not too much. Sometimes it's too hard to communicate the baby coz they can't comprehend yet but they have an instincts so simple sign and gestures and emotions on your face they can able undertand you.
If i rate myself i maybe 5th. Im still in the middle now, coz i never yet experiencing and facing the real difficulties in norturing and bringing up my child and im looking forward to the time of hardship in dealing and disciplining them and make them a good person someday and i know that's a hard job coz whatever you kids will be,that reflects to you of what kind of mother you are to them.
Happy posting.
Rain
1 person likes this
@sandra966 (269)
• Spain
3 Oct 08
I think I'll have to wait until my kids can rate me!
I am usually patient, understanding, let them say what they need to me, open, honest, encouraging and supportive.
However, sometimes I lose my temper, I'm nosey and I still don't listen enough.
I hope that my good points outweigh the bad ones, and that when they are old enough to rate me, they remember that my intentions were always good and I just wanted the best for them.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Just dont let them rate you after a punishment or when you say no to something.lol I dont have the most patience in the world of mothers. However, I do give my children time and room to express themselves in a healthy way. I pick my battles with them now. I dont want to smother them I just want them to know I am there if they need me. I dont also want to give them enough room to hang themselves. That seems almost purposeful. I just want them to make their own mistakes and learn from them. WIthin reason. I think you sound like a role model for some of the young moms out there. Wanting the best for you children is a sign that you are ready for motherhood. I see so many young mothers these days that resent their children because they are always spending money on them instead of themselves. Its part of parenting. You sound like a great parent. Good luck in future. dl
@richamani (58)
•
3 Oct 08
I am a very bad parent coz i m not able to giv much of my time to him coz of my job and then household activities...................i see in his eyes and find myself guilty but cant leave the job also coz we suffer from financial crisis..............watever i m doing its to fulfill only my baby's needs
@SViswan (12051)
• India
4 Oct 08
My kids are young - 8 year old and 22 month old (both boys). So, it might be too early to say about my parenting skills.
But so far, with the older one, I can say it was around 8. But my skills seem to have come down after the birth of my second and I think I'd say it's a 6 now...but I hope to improve since I'm going to make a conscious effort to.
@mflower2053 (3223)
• United States
10 Oct 08
I'm not sure how to rate myself. Maybe a 7. My children are still pretty young but I have to say they are not bad or out of control. I do wish I could be more patient with them sometimes. My oldest is 3 and my youngest is 1. They say bless you, thank you, please, and my youngest is working on sorry but it doesn't sound exactly like it yet but its still cute. I do hope that they will feel when they grow up they can come and talk to me about things without being afraid. I do what I can for them and they are loved very much, I make sure I let them know that.
@lovemygirls2503 (431)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I believe as my learning to be a parent i'm very good at what I do. I listen to my daugther when they talk. I try to correct them for what they do wrong with the right punishment. But, right now i'm very new at this my children are only 4 and 1. I hope to have as great of relationship with my children the way you have with yours. Happy Mylotting!!!!
@lovemygirls2503 (431)
• United States
3 Oct 08
Oh I almost to rate myself. For just starting off I'd think that I do a great job with taking of my girls so i'd have to rate my self a 5. I'm diffently improving though. Happy Mylotting!!!!
@tessah (6617)
• United States
4 Oct 08
contrary to popular oppinion.. an unruly child isnt always the product of a neglectful uncaring inept parent. while the input of a parent does in some ways affect the outcome of an individual.. children are their ownselves, and individuals, and make their own choices in how they conduct themselves. children from "bad homes" do still turn out alright if they choose to break the patterns and be different from those who raise them. the same hold true for those from "good homes" who choose to go the other way. ive raised both my girls with the same ethics, standards, ideals.. they were taught right from wrong, and that honor and honesty were all. one absorbs the lessons like a sponge, and strives for the betterment of all. the other.. chose the other way. i can no more take credit for the good choices one makes anymore than i am responsible for the poor choices of her sister. while yes, there is always room for improvements.. since im aware of that fact and strive for it.. always ALWAYS put my children first and foremost, and do everything the best i can possibly do for them.. i will rate myself with a 10.
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
4 Oct 08
There are days when I think I am a GREAT parent and others when I thing I am just ROTTEN!! Time will tell, as you are finding. It sounds like you did exactly what parents should do. Gave them a great base to work from. I do the same, encourage communication, dialogue and independence (though it is so hard sometimes). I think all kids get to a point, an age, where they have to make their own choices in life, and hopefully, because of what they have seen with and in us as parents, they will choose the right one!
@msedge (4011)
• United States
22 Dec 08
Being a parent is not an easy task.I was a single mom for several years.Though i got married with the father but our relationship never work out.So i sacrificed alot for my daughter.I raised her the best that i could.Provided her the things that she need and her wants as well as long as it doesn't harm her.I give all my attention and love to her but i know i can't give the love of a father.But God is good to me,well He is always good to all.He gave me a man that accepted my daughter as his own and show the love of a real father.Now, we are very happy as a whole family.As a mom, i would rate myself same as yours,8.I am not a perfect mom as well but i always give the best for my daughter.I always want her to be happy in every good ways i could.She's on her teens now and so far, i could see she is a good girl,respectful and loving and i am very proud of her.
@kavinsh (78)
• India
5 Oct 08
hi dloveli
i have two sons one is of three and half years & other is of four months.
i have too much patience about the children .
if they are demanding something i just want to fulfill like my elder son is always asking for toys i want to give them as i think thids only the age when they have to play with toys . i live in joint family . but if someone is shouting on them i don't like it.
i think we have to tackle the children with love.
i m tring to teach them moral values as well as good behaviour.
he is very close to me than anyone else.
in our home no one is tring to teach them with love . all just scolding him.
i can't say anything to anyone.
just telling my son with love that u did wrong thats why all are scolding u.
i don't want to rate myself as my sons are too younger.
how they behave in growing age, on that account my rating will depend
take care.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I have to rate myself a five. I seem to not be doing the right things for my daughter. she has no respect for me, it seems. I try very hard to be good to her but never seem to do anything right.
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
4 Oct 08
I haven't had any kids myself, but I have looked after alot of little ones and people so much that I've gotten the nickname of "Mom".
I'd like to think that I'd be a good parent, but yeah...unless I adopt I'll probably never know for sure.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
4 Oct 08
I thought I have been a good parent all this while but it turns out that I have without realizing it not until lately that I rule with iron fist and that has caused me a lot of back firing from my eldest son. As every one of us would agree we were not taught how to be a mother in school or anywhere else but it is naturally learned as we become one. How would one know that our style of bringing up our children is the best and be rated top 10 when it doesn't goes down well with the kids. Every parent would want to see their children successful in life and I have that in mind from day one of the birth of my son. I have groomed him to be what he is now, a professional man holding a well paid job but yet he is always reminding me and sounds very revengful towards me now. I feel I have been the person responsibile for his success as not every child is born with the brain and good behaviour intact if not because of the parent that shaped him from small. Not that I am bragging but honestly I deserve to be given a credit for a job well done as a parent. I am yet to see how my two adopted daughters fare in life as I am very disappointed with my eldest son behaviour towards me now. Given that I can hardly think of any good rating for myself. Let it be 5/10
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I was a single parent. I am not sure I did everything right but it turns out that I have three wonderful children whom are successful and have picked up some of their parenting skills from me. Since I was single they learned about team work....they learned to be independent...they learned how to survive in a world where it's survival of the fittest! Their friends also just about lived here and to this day many of them call me mom....and I am very proud of that fact! All three learned the value of education....so they all three have degrees....so things look very bright for their futures. I won't rate myself. Most of my parenting is over as far as shaping their futures and building their charaters.....even though your part in their life as a parent never ends...they are now on their own. Now if you asked me or the grandkids to rate me as a grandparent....I think I am a nine! LOL
@my2boys (821)
• United States
3 Oct 08
I am not exactly sure how i would rate myself. Probably a 7 or 8. I know that I am far from perfect and that i need a little more patience. My oldest child is only four years old. I havent been a parent for that long. I think it will take a while longer for me to find out exactly what kind of parent i am.
@cossacks10 (502)
• Morocco
3 Oct 08
I think that i will be good as a father , may be may be not, but the whole point is consesting on understanding the others specialy childreen in this case,that's the solution of every thing in life, to know the other , how he feels, what he wants and how he wants,and in my opinion being a real father or mother depends on this things
