Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

DisagreeMarrage is like a business. Some of us make good decisions, and others make bad ones. Even after some time businesses make decisions that have a downturn on their effectiveness, the same can be applied to a marriage.

Hi ronaldinu, I don't know about sacrificing but its give and take and have space for each other, if I want to go out I will and my husband does the same so what do you mean by sacrifice? the reason you marry is because you love it each other. Tamara

There are probably as many reasons why people are afraid to commit as there are people who are afraid to commit. Some have been hurt in the past, some give priority to their careers, some have trust issues. I believe that the earlier a couple marry, the more likely there are to be problems in the relationship due to things like financial strain and immaturity. Those of us who met and fell in love at an older age...at least in my case and in the cases of those I know...have found that there is less suffering...probably because we don't have the energy to torture each other!

i have never figured that out either.. im happy and wasnt afraid at all.. but there are some people that wait till their in their 40s before they settle down because of fear.. guess maybe they either had parents that it went badly with or maybe seen too many people break up to where it scares them

well back in my day everthing was not all about yourself. some of the men were selfish but most women worked at making marriage work. todays under 40yrs majority have been taught its all about "me" and my happiness so they dont work at it. i think. but im old fashioned so i may get he-double toothpicks for sayin this

i think the spouses are not scared to sacrifice for the family and they do it every point of life may be it is to keep the spouse happy, childrens happy and all the family people happy. and this particular relation only asks for commitment which gains love in return and it is the only relation which is unique where the two different people from different families, different place come together to make a relation and lead life together. those people who cant commit should never think of getting married and this relation is a part of commitment. and those who marry have to do it on every step to have love and trust in the relation.

Now that is cute..my husband would agree wholeheartedly with this..It is a 3 ring circus that is true..I will pass this on to my mom and step dad who would agree also. I am not afraid to sacrifice for my loved ones..but their can only be so much before it is like Whoa..why and I the only one..and it gives us pause and makes us say why should I, if they aren't..Some have a me,me,me complex and it just isn't worth it.

We talked about this in phylosofy class the other day. Not marriage in particular, but suffering and sacrifice. Back in the old days people lived with what they call a minus-paradigma, which means they were pretty pessimistic about life. Everything was bad so if something good happened it was received with great enjoyment. Over the years this has changed to a plus-paradigma, which means that people see life as a positive thing with potential. Bad things happen only every now and again and life is mostly (and should be mostly) enjoyable. A counter effect is that people seek pleasure but try to avoid suffering and sacrifice. They no longer accept that there can also be less pleasurable things that you have to go through in life to archieve goals, help others or to learn things. We don't want to risk anything, especially if it envolves potential hurt.

Good question. I wondered the same thing when my nephews marriage broke up after only 2 years. I do not know why his wife has decided she cannot live with him but I wonder if she is just unwilling to work at whatever the problem is. It seems that young people are increasingly selfish as they seem to be unwilling to meet their spouse half way. Marriage is always a compromise between two people. Each has their own lifestyles and habits and marriage means learning to fit together. I am not sure that it has to involve suffering or sacrifice but it definitely involves compromise where you learn to accommodate your spouses needs and they learn to accommodate yours.

It's very true if both spouses aren't totally committed. They will not sacrifice for their "loved" ones because they don't truly love them. People need to think more before getting married.

Yes, suffering is part of life. God himself told us in his word that in this life there will be tribulations. It is inevitable. In marriage therefore it is expected to come so if people are afraid to commit then most of them shun marriage. There are however those who have already married but still can't sacrife for thier loved ones. In such case... I would say that true love is not really present. True love is selfless and hence if you can't even sacrifice then where is love?

hehehe thats a good one about "ring".i am not afraid to sacrifice mylove ones. i guess marriage life is a normall thing that there is ups and down just to measured how strong and truly we are to our marriage.

Its maybe because they are not yet ready to fall into that situation. we often times make decision that we think are right but in the end, we found out that we are not yet ready to commit.. marriage is not an easy thing. you have to weight the pros and cons by asking yourself "am i ready for this?". Along the way of marriage you experience thing that are new to you, like bearing nad rearing a child, as will as the husband. you have to nurture and along with it a torture..many things to mention, depending on how you two can cope up with the situation. But the best thing in marriage is that-it will make you happy to see that despite the hardships and suffering- that you are fulfilled..it says that a happy marriage depends on how the lady in the house performs.. so, be ready to commit and dont settle for a shimmering silver but a glittering Gold.. happy mylotting...

There is something i donot quite understand "are afraid to commit" maybe because this is not the right partner and i certainly disagree with spouses do not sacrifice Sure there are situations where this is true but I think just as many the other way I would lay down my life for my wife and for that matter my children Good Luck

I think people are afraid to commit because they are afraid of being with the same person day after day for the rest of their lives. that can be a scary thought, most wont admit to even having it but i think alot of us do.

H[i]i ronald, This is very common in our COuntry, a common saying which everyone loves to tease with friends who are getting married! LOL! ANyway, in any relationship, there is a sacrifice really, small or big one, like in my case, let's say, I have to give up my job at first, it was a sacrifice yet I love it! and I know hubby has some sacrifices also like dealing with my moody attitude since I am bored sometimes! But, when there is love, it's a wonderful type of sacrifice! LOL![/i]

Hi ronald, the first two are really the exciting and honeymoon period as well as just after the honeymoon but I have found ti is that peice of paper you both signed on your wedding day that seems to affect everything as then you are bound together and whatever you have is both of yours..some people find it hard to leave their independence behind as they find they are acountsble for everything they do in marriage..eg paying bills, getting a house, working and having children...not all people can endure say the unfaithfulness the hurt jealousy and distrust in their relationships...marriage is a big commitment and not one that is easy to get away from not like you are just living together and know that if things do become unbearable you can walk away...littleowl

I have never heard this quotation before. I am still laughing about it and will pass it on to my friends who I think will also find it funny. Thank you for making me laugh

It's a clever quote I suppose, but not necessarily true. It's funny they say married men tend to live longer than their unmarried counterparts, whilst married women tend to live less long than unmarried ones! I wonder what that says? There do seem to be less people willing to commit these days, but that's probably because it's now quite acceptable to live with a partner, whereas 50 years ago you were expected to get married and that was that.

I believe that I might have heard this quote before and I still find it pretty funny. I have been married myself for over four years now and going pretty strong. We share a son together and we do have our ups and downs. One thing about marriage is that there have to be compromises and sacrifice. Not to mention communication. All of these things combined are what is needed to make things work. I have experience in all of this. This is my second marriage. I never thought that I would remarry or ever get divorced. Two people have to work on the marriage. There is no way around it. If there is only one person giving it won't work out in the end. There are people afraid of commitment. I think those who are afraid of committing are the ones who know how serious marriage is. They don't want to jump in feet first. Some couples do that and subsequently end up with problems leading to divorce. I believe if you have a strong marriage and a lot of love and understanding then it shouldn't be too hard to sacrifice once in a while.