I'm tired of having to defend myself

First off, don't defend yourself but if you ask a question know that you are in a place that is going to repsond that is the premise of mylot. If you don't want to know then I would suggest not asking or putting it out there. The other side of that coin is that it could be that you are being sensitive and folks are only giving you their take on matters. Please note to say your children are prefect angels and that you punish them in the same sentence is a little odd. But they are your children and it is your right to raise them how you see fit, but don't get upset when others voice a thought that differs from yours. Good luck to you.

I often stick up for people. Especially on the internet where people discuess certain celebrities. Some things Ive read over celebrities these people dont even know are just so mean at times. Thing is though, that when I stick up for then people then get nasty with me! They think Im taking what they are saying too seriously but I think they are taking the person they are criticising too seriously. Someone on a blog made a joke about Kelly Brook supposedly not being too bright and all I said was that it wasnt very nice, thats all. I didnt go off on one. Well talk about over reaction! The poster got nasty towards me, I said I did nothing wrong. I wasnt nasty to them so why be to me? This then caused that person to say that it must be really hard for me to function with my halo around my head and that once again its poor Donna Marie. Why be so mean? Also I find people can get a bit off with me when I say I dont agree with capital punishment.

I used to have this problem and it does get tiring to constantly defend your ideas. As to how I dealt with it, well I found a circle of friends who thought as I did on many topics and I tried very hard not to talk about things that I knew would cause trouble. I do not see anything wrong with being strict with kids. I think people are far too soft now and that is one reason why we are having so many problems with young people causing trouble. They are rude to parents and teachers and that just did not happen when I was a child, it would not have been tolerated.

katsmeow none of us know your kids like you do so we should never judge you. to me you sound like a really good mom, one who cares and one who will teach her children how to be good healthy sweet kids, nothing wrong in that in my eyes. Children have to be taught, and you seem to be' doing a darned good job of it. Children all want to have boundaries and when adults dont give it to them they will suffer from it. Parents must parent, simple and hard as that.So dont let others make you feel bad.

You said in one of your responses that you don't have to defend yourself to your friends. . .it's other people. The way I see it other people don't have any business butting into your business and their opinion of you doesn't count. Don't defend yourself to these people. Just tell them they have a right to their opinion, but you have to live your life according to your own standards.

I have to defend myself for the same thing. I'm mean to my fiances son. I act like I hate him. "He's a wonderful child, Whats wrong with you." They don't live with him and they aren't the "hated step-monster". I have rules in my house, there are boundaries that I will not let him cross. At his mothers, he has NO rules and can disrespect whomever he wants, because that way he'll love her more then his dad. But I'm the bad parent, for not letting him walk all over me. My daughter is respectful and uses manners and for the most part listens to us. he doesn't have any good manners towards me, won't listen to me and is completely disrespectful.

Every parent goes through this... Parents will judge other parents without even thinking twice. It's a life cycle. Parents should just take a step back & realize there is no perfect parent & there is no perfectly well behaved child... Parents make mistakes as do the children. We learn from them & grow.

I am well aware, katsmeow, of having to defend oneself often. With me it has always been because I ask that things be done right, as opposed to having to be done over again. It's the way I was brought up and the way I've always been. My children used to criticize me for being a perfectionist, and I have had other people not see it my way as well.

I like people that say what they believe and don't feel that they have to defend themselves in their beliefs. Stand strong in whatever you believe and never feel as though you have to defend yourself. Because you don't have to defend yourself.

You have the right to raise your children as you see fit, cause you know them best. And, I'm sure you do an amazing job. I'll bet lots of the criticism that you get is coming from people who don't have kids or other moms who have only one child. Having one child can be difficult enough. But moms with multiple children to raise face a much greater challenge than moms with just one child to look after. I have all the admiration in the world for you and can't imagine how you keep everything balanced in your home. Best of luck with your kids!

I think people just need to learn to accept different oppinions, without getting all frustrated when someone disagrees with them. The problem is that whenever someone disagrees they try to force their oppinion, and not giving it a bit of doubt that they might be the ones who are wrong. About your kids, its great to hear they are well behaved..you're obviously doing the right thing.

Would you please take my wife and turn her into a perfect person then? I've tried and apparently I've failed because even the mailman runs from her.:)

I feel like I am defending myself everyday. I am in love with a great guy but he like every teenager he did some stupid things. I dont mean murdered anybody or anything just stupid boy stuff but his past cant seem to lose him. My parents especially are very critical of him. I know that they just want the best for me but what they cant seem to understand is that nobody knows my fella better than me and they tend to have their opinion and that is it set in stone and nobody can change their mind. Even if they are in the wrong. I dont see why I am constantly having to defend the love I have for someone when really it has nothing to do with anyone else apart from me. If I am happy and my fella treats me right then why am I constantly having to defend myself. I dont think you should have to defend yourself to anyone. If you are happy and arent causing anyone any bother then carry on with what your doin. Dont let anybody try and tell you that your in the wrong when you clearly know that you arent!

I do have opinions that seem outrageous too many like my praying to a higher force and not the God itself , I do not believe that you shold pass your own religious beliefs to the kids but let them decide on their own but yes educate them on various religion. I feel none is too perfect and each has its flaws. I believe that they were created for bringing some sense of civility in to the human groups. Otherwise probably we would have ended up completely barbaric. I believe in existence of one force that brings us to gether and even splits us apart and we call that force by just different names. Its a hard theory to exlain and even harder to understand. but really simple too. I find many people looking at me and then confronting me when I say so.

If I've read any of your parenting issues then I honestly don't remember as i read so many posts here. If you feel in your heart that you are right then you shouldn't worry about what other's think. If in your heart you strongly feel you are right than maybe you are. A majority does not necessarily mean they are right. Sometimes it may mean simply that all the jerks are on one side.

In order to solve all the doubts, ask your children. If they don't answer, then maybe you are.

I try not to judge others and I am not really interested in defending my opinion, as it typicall will only effect my life. The way that I choose to run my household or rear my child is not anybody's business and honestly I don't care if they like it or not. I am more of the "live and let live" mindset. In other words you do what it takes for you and your family, I will do the same.

Yeah. There were times I got sick of trying to make myself clear to this person here at myLot. I had to defend myself over and over again, it makes me sick. I was explaining to him the medical importance of STD and he doesn't get it. Yeah, I do have opinions that not all people agree with. I guess we're too brilliant for them to understand? Lol. :D

well, i'm a type who defend myself every time others accuse me of something...to be honest with u, i just don't like anyone to put me down no matter how wrongly i might do! it might be wrong but i just don't like myself to be down or let down by others...i would keep on defending, unless if i happened to make a huge mistake that i should apologize for, and i don't mind apologizing in front of everyone as well... Smiley,