Who comes first, your husband or your children?

The question was for ladies as it is about husbands, but i will answer as a husband. Wife and children are both important. They have their place in life. Like King Lear's daughter told him when he asked if she loved him. She said "I love you according to my bond. Neither more nor less." There are times when the wife is important and there are times when the children are important. It waries with the situation.

I totally agree with you. My husband and I try to do the same thing. It's so important for parents to stay connected with each other in spite of the busyness and craziness that comes along with having a family. My husband and I have two babies under the age of two and life gets pretty stressful sometimes, but we really try to make a conscious effort to make "us" time. I think that it is important for children to see that their parents love each other and you are right that this helps them to feel secure.

OK, this discussion made me mad. My first thought was to biotch you out for putting an adult who can do for himself above a child who can't do or judge what is right. But then I calmed down and thought that maybe I am misunderstanding you. So, here is my thought, and let's discuss. I have five kids and my kids come first in my life. My husband also puts our children first. It's most fantastic for him, because of "our" kids, only two have his blood. If we are starving and there is food, our kids eat first. At christmas and birthdays when we have little money for presents, our kids get gifts and we get cards which we love. If we want alone time and our children need homewor help, we help with homework. If we are starting to get intimate and one of our children has a nightmare, we to to the child who has the nightmare, soothe their fears and put them back to sleep. Our kids come first. Please clarify.

I value both my role as a wife and the one as a mother. I have never neglected my husband but have always put the children first. When they were younger I knew they needed me more than my husband did. Now that they are older it is hard to move away from putting them first but I have begun trying to do so. Soon our nest will be empty and my husband and I will only have our relationship left.

When it comes, my husband is only the option. I do love my child, but they had their own family in future and won't stay with me untill I die. But my husband is with me forever and ever. I love my husband.

My daugher come first with and and it is the same for my partner. They way we see it in the end there is no guarantee that me and him will always be together but my daughter will always be my daughter and she is the most important thing in both our lifes. She comes first in every way.

While I agree that nurturing my relationship with my husband comes first over my children because I can be a better mother to them that way, and they need to see a healthy relationship, there are also times when my children come before my husband. After all, my husband is not blood... my children grew inside me. We had someone call Family Services because of my husband's drinking and driving. We almost got into an accident because he was too stubborn to let me drive his father's car. The kids were smaller then. I told my husband I would kick him out before I would let anyone take my kids away from me. If he is going to be stupid enough to do something like that, to put our children's lives in jeopardy, then he takes a back seat. If I had to take a bullet for one, I would take a bullet for my kids before my husband. I love my husband and I want to spend time with him, nurture our relationship, keep the spark alive, etc. But there is a time when my kids come before him. All circumstances are different. This is just one (or two).

I believe parents have to be united in raising children. I love my husband and there is almost nothing I would not do for him but in knowing this I also know that my children will always come first and my husband feels the same way. We also look at it like this in putting my children first I have put my husband first becouse they are a part of him. So you see I love both of them.

There are different meanings to each relation in ur life..its very right that husband and wife are related to each other before children come and stay after they are married also...so thats an integral part of our life, and children of course, they give the feeling of completeness to our life, without them married life is somewhat incomplete.

Hi friend,I do agree with you that our husbands only come with us in life till the end and we wives go with our husbands till the end and not anyone else.But when children often ask us parents who is important first for you mummy we or dad?What would be your answer?I have one daughter and she often asks me me or dad?IF I tell 'you my dear' to my kid my hub would ask me what about me?Now a days am very careful that whenever they both ask me I tell them my one eye is you and the other eye is dad ,and noone comes first here.Both are my eyes .This is the answer I give them always.thanks for sharing.happy mylotting.

My husband and I are expecting our 1st baby. She will always come 1st no matter what, and I expect him to feel the same way too. I love my husband with all my heart, I think about him all the time. And I can't wait to have my baby, I already love her and I haven't even met her yet. I think that she and any other children that we may have in the future will always come first. I wouldn't want it any other way, and I know that my husband wouldn't either.

You put forward an important question. I knew of many housewives who don’t care the husband at all. She will be always caring the child. Coming back home after a hard day at office, the poor husband expects some attention from wife. So the best way is to give both equal importance. All are equal. Devoting your attention more on one will change the equilibrium.

Well my husband comes first before my children in the sense that we brought them here into this world and we need to show them what family is all about. They need to be able to see that the mom and dad, husband and wife, love each other and are able to make it through anything. They need that comfort that both there parents are there for them and that they feel safe. I have 3 wonderful kids and a wonderful husband, and I think the only way we can really raise good children is by putting your significant other first so your children can see how relationships really work. My kids are loved so much by us, but I think that they feel even more loved when my and my husband put each other first. My husband also puts me first before our children because when our children see us, and how we act towards one another we want them to see positive things. It's like if you talk to you significant other in a way thats not polite, would you want your children talking to their significant other that way. It's very important to have that connection with your husband first and then your kids, so you kids see positive influences and they are most likely going to follow your lead!

I agree it is very important to put your relationship with your husband first. I would not say I "value" one more than the other. But without a strong relationship with your husband you family has no foundation. Every thing that is to stand strong needs a strong foundation.

I believe you two have your priorities straight. It's wonderful way to live just so long as your children are not neglected.

I would put my child first before my husband. And I think that my husband knows that and understands it. My son is a product of both my husband and me and we both will put him first in all cases. I do respect what you have to say but I also feel that until my son does grow up to have a family of his own he is my responsibility to keep number one.

My child comes first and that is the way I think it should be. God gave us our kids and it is our job to protect and care for them, to put their needs first. They did not ask to be born. I could live without my significant other but there is no way I could live without my son.

I love my husband with my life and he the same loves me with his life. Raising our kids is a job we both equally take part in. Yes my husband will be with me until the end and eventually it will only be the two of us. Husbands and wives share a wonderful parntership for the rest of their lives but when it comes to our kids, our kids always come first. Do I have a better relationship than I do with my kids? I don't think so. They are two different kinds of relationships. Our kids will always come first in both our eyes. They are our life right now. We both feel the same way and I am glad he feels the same as I do. They should come first so he should feel the same way. My husband and my kids are my life but they always come first.