He's too cute to be my son. Excuse me?

@lilybug (21107)
United States
October 15, 2008 12:06pm CST
My son's father goes through phases where he says my son is not his. I have told him if he wants a DNA test then schedule it, pay for it, and Jeremy(my son) will be there with bells on. I have no doubt he is my sons father. NONE! Trust me if he could possibly belong to someone else I would have been blaming them YEARS ago. His most recent? He tells my sister that Jeremy could not be his kid because he it too good looking! What would your response to that be? Have you ever heard someone say that a kid is too good looking to be theirs? Anybody have a kid that the father denies is his?
4 people like this
20 responses
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
15 Oct 08
My ex husband, whom I call "nuckfuts", has claimed in the past that he doubts he's the father of some of our sons. We have had 4 sons together. Like you, I know darn well that they're all his (short of immaculate conception of course ). But now and then he would bring it up in discussions, and it would drive me bonkers. It's true, what can you say to that, other than, "Go get the tests done and see for yourself"? Of course, he never bothered. Gawd forbid he be proven wrong! LOL!
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
15 Oct 08
I think that is part of the reason he won't do it. He does not want to find out he is wrong.
1 person likes this
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
16 Oct 08
Bruising that male ego is a difficult experience for them. lol.
1 person likes this
@Myrrdin (3599)
• Canada
15 Oct 08
Well as a father, I can honestly say I've thought my daughter was too intelligent to my my ex wife's offspring, but being as I was there at the birth I don't think I can reasonably deny the maternity. I wonder if there is such a thing as a maternity test ;). As for your son's father, sounds like he's got some serious issues.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
15 Oct 08
Yeah, he is probably too smart to be his too.
1 person likes this
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
16 Oct 08
maybe he is just joking..hahaha well, i know somebody who has been through that stage too.. my mom!hahaha our youngest sister is really cute.. cubby, fair with big black eyes thata are really expressive.. so there was one time when she was bringing my sister to the mall with her and she was just dress ordinary.. and there was somebody who ask her if she was nannying my sister!hahahaha she was not offended, but instead flattered..
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
17 Oct 08
oh, that's really very sad.. i just could not understand why he would do something like that.. fathering a very handsome son is sure something he should be proud of! i hope he will realize that sooner.. he cant always run away from responsibilities..
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
No, he is not joking. He is a jerk. He says things like that to make an excuse for him being a deadbeat dad and no being in his sons life.
• New Zealand
16 Oct 08
How old is your son?...Gosh I hope he is unaware of his Dad's stupidity?...If my partner dared share a thought, of doubt where our son was concerned,to my sister...I would probably have to get him off the floor, where he lay, after she knocked him out!...What an insult that is to you!...Get the test done!...Prove your him wrong...Then kick him to the kerb!...State of him!
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
He is almost 9 years old. He is aware that his dad is a jerk, but he has no idea he says such things. He only sees him about once a year and even that is practically a forced visit.
• New Zealand
17 Oct 08
True?...At least he knows whose who,aye?...All the best with this topic...I hope he doesnt hurt you too much with his harsh way of thinking.
@jordan04n (463)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Sounds like your husband is fishing for complements on his looks. If he is serious then he has serious problems. He is calling you a ho every time he makes one of those remarks. Does he not realize this? He needs to shut it up before the boy grows up and hears his dad be ugly to you.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
He is not my husband. We are not currently together. He is the one who is a hoe and can't keep it in his pants. Part of the reason we are not together.
• United States
16 Oct 08
You are so right...he needs to show the mother of his child respect. Sorry I misunderstood the question....you are blessed to have a sweet son.
16 Oct 08
Because our daughter looks very much like me and has the same personality and temperament, my husband sometimes makes stupid comments about her paternity. I tell him that he should be grateful she's not as horrible as he is.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
If he was joking it would be one thing, but he is not joking.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
16 Oct 08
It is just something treally sad. I think he is just making an excuse of not recognizing your son as his. that's why he is making this excuse. take legal procedure
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
I took him to court 6 years ago for child support. Sometimes he pats sometimes he does not. I really don;t care if he thinks my son is his or not. I know the truth and that is all that matters.
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
16 Oct 08
I think he is just saying that because he doesn't want to face the responsibilities of being a father... if that happens to me... then good riddance to him... if he doesn't want to accept his child... then i don't think i want him to be recognized by my child as the father... Having him around might do more bad than good to my child...
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
He is not in our lives at all. I talk to him once every few months and my son only sees him once a year. He even has asked me to not make him see his father. His choice.
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Hmmm.. so confidence is not his strong suit, I'm guessing. Haha. My husband couldn't for one second have a doubt. My son looks exactly like him and has since day one. Every day I look for something about me that might be starting to show up.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Nope. He is just trying to wiggle out of the responsibility. It does not really matter what he thinks though. We went to court for child support years ago and he told the judge he did not want a DNA test. The judge told him that even if he finds out later that he is not his son he has to keep paying the child support anyway.
@munhozmib (3836)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
16 Oct 08
Hello, Lilybug! Wow, that sounds pretty strange. I'd take it as a joke, because when he says that it really seems like he is making a joke. I don't think he is talking serious when he says that. Did you hear him saying that? Because he might have told this to your sister as a joke, but when it got to your ears it had a different entonation. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Nope, not a joke. He is just a jerk. He makes it obvious that he wants nothing to do with my son.
@marina321 (4556)
16 Oct 08
Haha Never heard anyone use that as a reason for a DNA test. So if your son is too cute, then it's because you're cuteif he doesn't think he is himself, eh?! Boys sometimes look like their mums too especially in younger childhood otherwise everyone would be having DNA tests
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
He does not look much like his father. He has more of his mannerisms than his looks.
@magojordan (3252)
• Philippines
16 Oct 08
For me I don't think he should be doubting that that kid is his son. If my kid would be cute then I would really be very proud to be his father Then if I hear people saying how cute he is, I'll just tell them Oh well look it's in the genes (then pointing to my own handsome self)Honestly I don't look anything like my parents but they never denied me that I am their son.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
What is he saying about his other kids then? Jeremy is too cute to be his son, but his other kids with his ex wife are ugly enough to be his?
@mojcica (1511)
• Slovenia
16 Oct 08
Actually it is very disrespectfull and it shows he doesnt trust you. This needs serious talk. I am very disappointed if someone makes fals accusations on me and if that was my partner it would be even worse.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
He is not my partner. We have not been together in almost 8 years.
• China
16 Oct 08
I think your son's father is riduculous. Around me, I know many situations that parents'looking is just so so, but their kids are very beautiful.This is very normal. When babies are forming, they received different gene from their parents.Some are lucky to get more well, but others are unlucky. More, even if the same parents, their kids' looking sometimes are rather various.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
He should be glad that his son is good looking. He used to be ok looking, but recently he has started getting kind of ugly. I just hope my son does not start looking like him later on in life.
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
15 Oct 08
He must be a real jerk. Sound like it. Just say the good looks come from my side of the family. Thank goodness I don't know anybody else like that.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Yes he is a real jerk.
• United States
17 Oct 08
Hello lilybug. This subject really gets under my skin! My two daughters father and I are no longer together. We haven't been since two months after the birth of his second daughter. He tried this himself. Denying her when she looks just like him, but I will say..much prettier! I think he said it because it delayed his child support and he was such an *sshole and didn't want to pay! A few reasons why men deny their daughter/son is: 1.Like my bum ex, they dont want to take financial responsibility. 2.They are scared and dont want to believe it 3. They maybe really truely believe the girl may have been unfaithful. These are reasons that I know of. Saying that your child isnt yours because the childis "too cute" to be his, is ridiculous. Do you think he really believes this? If so, he probebly also suffers from a very low self-esteem! Having a baby should be the best thing in the world.It should be a glorious moment,something exciting and wonderful.Achild is something to be proud of, not deny.
@rainmark (4302)
15 Oct 08
It's really crazy thinking of him, why he has any doubt of being a father of Jeremy, he maybe like to escape responsibility or maybe he is just kidding when saying that your son is not his son. Happy posting.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
15 Oct 08
I don't think he really thinks it. I think it is more his new wife than anything else. We went to court for child support 6 years ago and he told the judge he did not want a DNA test to determine paternity before Child Support was ordered. Even if he was not his son, which he is, he would still have to pay till he is 18.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
16 Oct 08
Suspicious man can do such behave. This is one kind of mental disease.If you are sure that Jeremy is your husband's son then why you bother? You yourself arrange DNA test and prove that you both are Jeremy's father and mother. Then you file a case against your son's father for mental tourcher upon you.Ugly parents can have good looking child and good looking parents can have ugly child. I'm not saying you or your son's father are ugly. I'm saying about possibility.
@thanujad (405)
• Sri Lanka
15 Oct 08
I'm sorry to hear your story. If your son is good looking he should be proud of him to have a such a good looking kid. He must be having a mental problem if not he wouldn't say such things. I feel sorry for your son too. Does he know that the father is saying such stupid things? I hope not. If he knows there'll be a big problem. More than the DNA test, I don't understand why he cannot trust his wife? What kind of a man he is? This perticular person (He is a friend of my husband) had two daughters and his wife got involved with another guy and had another daughter from that other man and now she lives with the other. But my husband's friend does not want to devorce her thinking that it will be bad for his daughters future (Our culture is like that) and treats the 3rd child also as his own even though he knows that she is not his child. So there are people like that too.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
15 Oct 08
I am not his wife. We have not been together since my son was less than a year old. He is married to another woman now, who would rather my son not be around.
@jackiew (915)
• Canada
17 Oct 08
well he sounds like a man i wouldn't want around helping me raise my son-I would sooner do it on my own.If the father is constantly having the doubt,how can he give 100 percent to the boy.If he doubted 100 percent that the boy was not his, he would of had a DNA done long ago so he wouldn't have to support a child that wasn't his. He must believe in some percentage that the child is his. happy mylotting