What do you do when you support others but they don't support you?

As frustrating as it can be, I think you should be the bigger person and continue to give support where it's needed. After all you want to be a positive role model for your daughter, because you are right that you should treat people the way you want to be treated. I guarantee that if you continue to graciously give support, eventually the recipients of your support will start to feel guilty about not reciprocating. Keep on doing the right thing!

Such a hot topic! People are very selfish and just don't care about others except when it's convenient for them. I've had candles parties and had a friend show up with the excuse I can't afford anything. I knew this wasn't true, it was just an excuse to be there to see what's going on. Then, this friend had a party and I went out of my way to get her orders to get her over the five hundred dollar mark. She could of became a rep under me but chose not to. A short time later I was told by her she signed up under someone else. She did not talk to me about it. I got the excuse "well, you weren't sure if you were giving it up so I went with someone else". I didn't get the respect of her talking to me about it to see where I stood. It was such a slap in the face and very hurtful. There are many examples of this with this person. I had to step back from her wedding due to personal issues and was treated like garbage because of it. Acting all concerned the first day then being ignored the next and then for weeks on end. Of course I'm the bad guy in all this. I apologized but it didn't matter nor did it make a difference. Ranting and raving about me to her family was another issue that was hard to deal with. It's pretty sad when her only family got in contact with me and gave me a heads up on what was being said. The experience was quite an eye opener. Very disappointing as well. Stand up for yourself and do what's best for you. Don't worry about what others think of you. Since I started standing up for myself I have not had one headache, no migraines or any aches and pains. The stress I unloaded made an amazing difference in my life. You only live once. You have the right to be happy. Make the changes to be happy. You don't need people in your life that stress you out. Be a good friend but know when to step back and say "Enough is enough".

I can relate to how you feel. Everyone who supports other people (in whatever capacity) at times feel neglected or unappreciated. Have you talked to your friends about this? Maybe they don't know how you feel about this issue. Often time, I find that people just don't express themselves well and then expect the other person to know what they're thinking without really having communicated it. If you've told them, and their behavior still doesn't changed maybe you need to learn to say no. A lot of people have that problem especially women. I hope this is helpful and good luck.

Hello, mommyboo. Look, the way you put things make it seems like you only have your friendships because you want people to support you. It's not like that. You must support others, but you must not expect them to support you back. That's called "open heart" help, when you help others (even by sacrificing what you have) without any intentions of seeing a return. I learned that it's very unpolite and disrespectful to miss events that your friends called you to. They might not care, but believe me: they will be happier if you appear where they called you. I always try to go to parties and other places that my friends invite me to. Also, don't worry. Don't get angry at it. Just have an open heart, a good will and everything will be fine. Respectfully, Munhozmib.

I have been in this situation and it is really hard to deal with it. You get so tired always being the person that everybody leans on and you never get a shoulder to lean on when things are tough for you. After a while the strain gets too much and you either withdraw inwards, which I did, run away from the whole thing or just explode because you cannot take it any more. I never withdrew my support I just protected my inner self from being drained so they got support but limited. Now I have someone I can lean on and it is such a relief to have the flow going both ways.

I really don't know what to do about this, I am going to go through my friends and do a little house cleaning, I have many on my friends list that are just plain hibernating. I never hear or see anything from them. I don't get that many response from the people on my friends list.

This is an age old question.I believe the good you do comes back to you! Even when others dont do what they should, your acts are rewarded. God knows what you do. People who do that will have that karma come back to them. So be glad that you do more and be glad that you do right. The good karma will come back to you!

Hello mommyboo! I have been in this situation several times already. Honestly, there are times when I would really feel very bad and disappointed. But the feeling doesn't last that long. I am aware that there really are people who depend much on other people but when they are needed, they are nowhere to be found. I personally do not expect anything in return for things that I do for other people. However, it would be nice if they would return the favor in one way or another.

Oh my... I experience this a lot. I am very supportive of others... But sometimes I feel so alone, that all those whom I have been supporting before has taken me for granted. But I just can't get mad and I just can't stop helping, I think it's my weakness. I'm just to kind to get mad or not do anything for other people. And they tend to abuse it sometimes. I guess good things will be rewarded with something good in the future. We don't need any reason to help others, as long as there's something we can do, we should help. That was my principle but it tends to flicker sometimes.

Hi mommyboo, I get what you're saying and I don't know what to say to you. It's really annoying and unfair when you are the one who is always doing and when it comes time for people to do for you they can't be bothered. I can definitely uderstand how angry you feel. I have felt this way myself from time to time. Sometimes people are only interested in what you can do for them and not what they can do for you and this is totally unfair. Do you turn around and give them a tast of their own medicine to teach them a lesson? I just don't know the proper answer in this case.

keep on supporting them even though they are not doing the same thing without expecting something in return. soon they will realize your worth. keep up the good work and be thankful.

Hi yes, it happens. In my case, few of those who got support from me, even turned against me. Forget about supporting me when I need it. I think those who receive support, suffer from some kind of inferority complex. When I was young, it hurt me a lot. Now, I don't bother. If I can support someone, I do it and honestly speaking, I just expect that he/she won't become my enemy in return.

Don't care about what they do,you think you are right,that's enough.helping friends is a good thing.it should not make you angry,it should make you happy,you are a model for your daughter.so keep on doing,sooner or later,you'll find the more you give,the more you get.

I think that friends who cause you this much grief are not true friends - looks like they don't hold the same values as you.