Would you ever keep your mother away from your kids?
By marlena18042
@marlena18042 (636)
United States
October 17, 2008 10:27pm CST
Okay, I know this sounds harsh but I have a big problem with my mother. She favors my son over my girls.
She takes him overnight,buys him alot and even tells him that he is her favorite!
I know you are probebly thinking this couldnt be true, but it is,and it hurts me so much.
At one point, she even told my two teen girls that the reason why she favors my son is because she cannot stand my daughters father!
I dont even want to take them all to her house to visit because you can see it so obviously how she treats them different. I have talked to her time and time again and she wont stop.
I dont even want them there anymore!
What would you do?Would you not allow any of them there anymore?Including my son?
It is hard because by not letting my son go, isnt that like punishing him?Any suggestions would be great, thank you.
5 responses
@marlena18042 (636)
• United States
18 Oct 08
Well, First let me tell you that my mother is a very unique person herself and I dont agree with alot of things she does. She is very different from an average mother!
I have tried talking to her and telling her that she is wrong, how would she feel if her mother did that,etc. But my mother can have a heart of ice! I have tried keeping them all away from her in the past, butthen felt bad because my son muissed her. I feel so bad for my girls, I have cried many times over this but cannot get her to change.
@NSULLIVA (1)
• United States
26 Nov 08
Marlena,
I would suggest that since your mother in law has a heart of ice, then stay away from her and put your foot down by stop letting her see all your children. Explain to her in writing or talking to her or through your husband that you are hurt with how she gives FAVORTISIM over your children and let this be the reason for you to hold your ground and stand firm. I believe its important for your children to know that Grandma loves all her grandchildren equally the same and not preferably liking or having more favor from one child over another child. Thats not fair for any child to be treated better then the other sibling because little kids see and feel the favortism and learn the politics in the family. Thats the reason I believe people become manupulative later in life as they grow up because they are forced within family (grandma) politics to be trouble makers, manipulators , deceivers all in order to obtain attention and get there way in the family. These children will learn to be make family member side against each other and be dysfunctional as a unit of brothers and sisters due to lying about each other to gain grandma's approval. I hope this sheds light on the issue.
@arpitaman (170)
• India
18 Oct 08
I am sorry but do u have ur kids from different men.
that whati figured out.
What u have stted below is like my own story, i have been hated and neglected by everyone n my family exccept my mom .
I am telng u its one of the worst things ever happened to me. I was under severe depression as a kid and now i just hate them. I cant even look at them and stand them.
Its so disgusting.
Can u believe as a kid i used to do a house maid jb, cleaning house, cooking foodetc but nevver anyone said thank u or gifted anything to me.
Anything i buy was TOO EXPENSIVE or UNAFFORDABLE to my family.
So i stopped asking for money as soon as i grew up i walked out of my family along with my mom. I got some of my moms money so i invested in stocks and luckily within a month it wennt 25 times.. so i had good money to o to college and take care of my mom..
Now i am an investment banker and earn good bucks, now they want to have good relations with me sending greetings and u know stuff and gifts
But i cant forget what i have been through all m life through no fault of my own
I just hate them and i always wi;;
@arpitaman (170)
• India
18 Oct 08
If i would hve been u i wont take my kids to her untill she started behaving well
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
18 Oct 08
It's a very hard decision, but I don't think I would stop my son from seeing a grandmother that clearly loves him. It must be painful for your daughters, the best you could do is remind them it's not their faults & it is her loss if she chooses not to know them. We can not force others to behave how we wish they would, you can not make your mother love/like your daughters. It doesn't sound like she is in any way harmful to your son though, and that would be my only reason for ever stopping a grandparent from access to their grandchild.
@carmela0210 (1591)
• Philippines
18 Oct 08
hmmm, i think you should talk again to your mom and tell her you wont let your children especially your son go to her place if she doesnt treat them good, it was mean of her to do those things, i just remember my aunt way back or until now, my mom is half chinese and they want that my mom would marry chinese but so happen that she marry my father that was far from there expectations and it turn out that they would treat us differently with my other copusins but all we do is just ignore them and never come to there place as much as possible!!
