administrator
angry coworker
assistant manager
condominium
coworker
manager
mean woman
office politics
peer
woman
my coworker hates me....
By monimo
@monimo (83)
Canada
October 19, 2008 11:37am CST
I started working at this condominium back in 2004. I did not move elsewhere ever since. In 2005, this new lady came in our office and she has the same position as I do-admin./assistant manager. I am 23 and she is 35. While there is a noticeable gap between us, she disrespects me, makes snide comments about me and tries to screw me over as much as she can. I have to also mention that she is pretty chubby, and ocasionally makes comments about the way I dress-that my pants or my shirt is too tight, or that my heels make too much noise and so on. While I understand that if I'd work with a girl who is better looking than me, I would feel some sort of jealousy, I would never act on it!I always worked with women, because of the business, and never met such a hard to please woman. I tried to soften her, I often make jokes, I try to talk to her as much as I can, but nothing seems to make it better.
It's getting up to the point where I dread coming to work and hearing her be mean with me. I don't know how to handle it, and no matter what I do, whether I help her out, she does not retaliate with anything but hate.
If you ever found yourself in similar situation, I'd be more than willing to take your advice on what to do regarding her behaviour...or possibly mine!
ps: I can't avoid her either, because our desks face each other.
3 responses
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
20 Oct 08
Welcome to mylot monimo. 
Since your boss is already aware of the problem there's not much that you can do other than to continue doing your job and to continue to treat this woman correctly. You should also protect yourself by making sure that you have notes or other proof to back up anything that she may try to manipulate against you. I have to do this with my boss, not that she intentionally tries to screw me over but she's 62 and her memory is not the best so there have been times when she has made claims related to my work that have been false and I have been able to show her, with the notes I took of her instructions during a meeting or the email from her that I saved, that I did what was requested of me. I make copies of certain documents that go to our parent company as well. Your boss may know that there continues to be a problem so hang in there as best you can.
Since your boss is already aware of the problem there's not much that you can do other than to continue doing your job and to continue to treat this woman correctly. You should also protect yourself by making sure that you have notes or other proof to back up anything that she may try to manipulate against you. I have to do this with my boss, not that she intentionally tries to screw me over but she's 62 and her memory is not the best so there have been times when she has made claims related to my work that have been false and I have been able to show her, with the notes I took of her instructions during a meeting or the email from her that I saved, that I did what was requested of me. I make copies of certain documents that go to our parent company as well. Your boss may know that there continues to be a problem so hang in there as best you can.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
20 Oct 08
Thanks for the best response monimo. 
This is a pretty nice place and I'm sure you'll like it here. Good luck!
This is a pretty nice place and I'm sure you'll like it here. Good luck!@monimo (83)
• Canada
20 Oct 08
wow, I really appreciate you taking the time to write this out.
and thanks, I really do feel welcome here :)
I do the exact thing, ever since I noticed that she is purposely trying to get me fired. I try to treat her as fair as possible, without making her feel bad in turn, so from my side, I'm ok. I do have to back up everything and take care of my filing, my emails and so on, bc sometimes she would take my things and pretend they are lost.
Cheers
@arpitaman (170)
• India
19 Oct 08
Yeah well its quite a problem
but you know it happens
once they get to know you more they will start liking u
just hang in there
and throw a party that will bring u guys lot closer
@daydreamer20 (1688)
• Malaysia
19 Oct 08
Either you talk to her directly or you talk to you supervisor about your concerns. If you are not willing to mix these 2 problems, then find another job. :) No point guessing and torturing yourself over this.
@monimo (83)
• Canada
19 Oct 08
My boss knows about her problems, but there is nothing to do that can help, he spoke to her, but whenever he's not around, she keeps being a $%^&* with me.
Also, I can't change jobs, so that's my main concern.
I'm just looking for something wise to tell her that will put her in place.
