Taking a break from the relationship

United States
October 20, 2008 11:00am CST
Yes I said it. Me and my bf have run into some differences and almost 8 years together it happens. I remember I used to get all in a spin but frankly I think relationships are like a rollercoaster--its gonna happen. We haven't talked for three days now and its like were going about our day like nothing happened except for the fact that we do not talk. I have FINALLY went out with friends and had some time for myself. W-O-W, some things do not change. Its the same ole going on--people trying to hook up and I've been to some pretty upscale places in the last couple days--but once everyone gets their fill of drinks true colors show. The reason Im posting this discussion is that I feel like this time I've been apart from my man it only seems me to draw me closer to him. There is just so many ways in which were good for eachother. While Im out being entertained inside I cant stop thinking of our talks catching up on the day when my bf comes home. Why does it feel like time apart only draws me closer to my mom?
3 responses
akinad
@akinad (446)
• Philippines
21 Oct 08
i believe in having "some breaks in a relationship".I'm currently struggling with my relationship to my bf of almost six years.I've never thought that i would end up thinking of breaking up with him..to think that we have a daughter together and that her future is at stake in this current issue..but i just felt like i needed some time to think of what i really wanted in my life and would it be good if i still continue this relationship with him..It's been a hell of a ride and i felt the need to get off now because I'm too exhausted to deal with our problems..after all,i feel like I'm the only one giving the effort to make it work out and I'm just so tired of how he treats our situation.. this doesn't mean that i'm giving up on him,i just want to clear my thoughts out and decide for the better..maybe if i'm gone for awhile,maybe then he'll recognize my worth..maybe after that he'll become a better partner and maybe he'll try working hard to save our relationship and be responsible enough.. i think that there would come a lot of positive things when we take some breaks on our relationships especially if it is not doing that well...it's better to cool down than make things worst by suffocating each other..am i right??
revellanotvanella
@revellanotvanella (4033)
• United States
27 Oct 08
oh im so sorry i didnt get to you sooner. I've been taken a break on mylot and coming and going lately, but I just missed you. I feel for your situation because me and my bf have been in some real lows that we both know how exhausting that can be and at this point we dont want to return to that but at the same time I know I feel like our relationship is not going anywhere the last two years and Im 28 so I feel held back. He's at an age 38 years old where I think he's content, you know. Im not in a hurry to hook up with any other guys because I've invested so much in this relationship but I did let alot of friendships slip by that I now regret as it gets kind of lonely not being able to relate to with your problems because if your just spilling them all on your partner that doesnt help anybody. I feel like I just carry things around on my chest and the few friends I have think Im very patient (I just think Im doing it for the sake of my children). But yea, one time I did walk out on my man and it did send a message as it was very hard for him to juggle work and dropping and picking up kids from work. Even watching the kids on his own I think really suprised him as he often likes to make it sound like its merely nothing to take care of two kids. So right now were talking but not really talking and just taking care of the kids and he's letting me do what I choose.
ronaldinu
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
20 Oct 08
I don't believe in a break from your beloved one. If I feel the need to break that I know its the time to move on in my life. I think if you are in a healthy relationship your beloved one gives you enough space to grow and be more matured.
jesssp
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
20 Oct 08
There is definitely truth to the sayings 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and 'you don't know what you're got 'til it's gone'. Sometimes when you've been in a relationship for a long time things start to get stale and you lose sight of what brought you together in the first place, sometimes a break is the only way to remind yourself. After dating for a long time (and 8 years is definitely a long time) you often get to a cross roads where things can go either way. You are either ready for the next step (marriage, most likely) or you start to feel like the grass may be greener on the other side. Most times you find out pretty quickly that the grass is certainly not any greener! If you feel like something is missing in your relationship but you still love him and want to make it work then all you can do is talk to him. Talk about anything and everything that is on your mind and if in the end you just don't want the same things then it may be over. But if you are both willing to work for it then hopefully you will stay together and be stronger then ever. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!