lying about santa
By teclive
@teclive (247)
Canada
October 21, 2008 9:28pm CST
hey everyone, how gos we?
My hubby has always followed the 'common' tradition of christmas when it comes to telling little ones about santa.
I can understand why he does it along with so many other people under the sun, however, i must say, i dont agree with it.
The thought of lying to my children for a few years in their early childhood just does not sit well with me.
I dont understand why we have to give this 'santa' dude credit for money we worked for to purchase the presents, nor do i understand why we have to lie to our children about it.
Would our children not be just as happy if they knew the gifts were coming from their parents? would this not give them more incentive to be a good boy or girl knowing that daddy and mommy can either make or break christmas.
The whole idea that santa can 'see you when you're sleeping, and know when you're awake'.
Isnt this a little disturbing to tell a child? ' oh yes hun, by the way, the big old man with a grey beard is watching you and can see youre every move'
I have fought endlessly with my hubby about just being honest about santa but i have yet to win that arguement.
I think christmas needs to be brought back to its roots and not taken off so far into the 'be good and you will get nice things'
i personally think its a line of crock, and i think we should either be honest with our kids from teh beginning, or just completely drop the whole topic of santa..
just my 2 cents, sorry if i stepped on any toes :)
have any change you care to toss into the conversation?
T
2 people like this
14 responses
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
23 Oct 08
You are fighting a losing battle. Are you sure you want to take a stand about this? It won't only be your husband but LOTS of people will give you grief about this.
Talk about PEER pressure! lol
I let my kids believe in Santa. It was a fun thing for them. Not so fun for me.
I did have my concernts about "lying" to my children, but I chose to follow my family traditions.
I don't have a problem with people who don't allow their children to believe in Santa, but I don't like it when the adults or children try to "correct" the kids who do believe.
It's a personal decision for each family to figure out for themselves.
@teclive (247)
• Canada
23 Oct 08
hahaha, thank you ML for stopping in :)
Thanks to all the comments people have posted, i have actually been thinking twice about approaching my children about the 'santa' theory.
I honestly didnt think it was such a strongly practiced thing among families.
I knew it was strong in its tradition but almost figured that it would wean itself out of christmas after so long.
Apparently i was very very wrong with this thought, and luckily i have not been beaten with a broom or been called nasty names yet.....yet... LOL
I have spoken to a couple of local parents where i live, and they look at me like i am off my rocker, hah one of the reasons i figured i would bring my question to a wider audience where i could get more outside opinions rather than 3 or 4 from my local area.
I have only met a couple of people who feel the way I do and gifts are not given from santa.
We do sign gifts from santa in our home, however, this is thanks to daddy, and i guess in a way, i thank him for it :)
you are all such wonderful peeps, and thank you ML for not throwing things at me ;)
speak soon, hope to see you around
T
@betsyraeduke (2670)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I believed in Santa when I was a kid and my kids believe in Santa now. I see nothing wrong with it. Part of the wonder of being a kid is the ability to believe in magic and fairy tales. I think it only adds to a child's joy at Christmas time to believe in the magic and wonderment that is Santa. I can't even remember when I stopped believing in Santa. No one told me that he didn't exist, I just eventually knew better as I got older and wiser. I was not upset, sad or angry at anyone for telling me about Santa when I figured out that he was not real. Instead I was greatful for the opportunity to experience the joy and magic felt in believing.
@teclive (247)
• Canada
23 Oct 08
A very warming way of looking at it my friend, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me (all of us).
I never realized how much power the word 'wonderment' could have until you used it in your comment :)
again, thank you for taking the time to read my post and comment on it
T
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
22 Oct 08
my parents never tell me about santa at all when i am still a kid... and we don't really celebrate christmas in my home country because i come from the country where the majority of the poeple are muslim... so christmas is not really popular over there... and i learn about santa in primary school by myself but never really believe in it... take care and have a nice day...
@KissThis (3003)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I have never lied to my children about Santa Claus. My children are ten, eight, and seven years old. When my daughter was born everyone told me that I had to tell her there was a Santa Claus and I did. I told her the story of St. Nicholas and what her did years ago. I explained to her as she got older that each and every person has a chance to be " Santa Claus". The definition of Santa Claus in my house is anyone that gives a gift to someone else with expecting something in return. So by my definition Santa Claus is real and it is more then one person. I really don't care who gets credit for giving the gift. I care about the children learning to give.
@teclive (247)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
hey KT, first off..i love your username :)
thank you for stopping in and expressing your opinion and sharing your story.
I love how you explained it and how you represent 'santa' in your family. I think it is a very unique way of dealing with it and very neat too :)
We take our children to the nursing home around christmas to spend time with those whos families feel they cant find the time to spend with their loved ones.
The tend to enjoy hearing the stories that are told to them from the elders and eating the christmas cookies that are provided :)
I try to teach the kids that christmas is about giving and caring for others, and, hopefully, they are starting to understand and appreciated that more when spending time with those less fortunate. We also do special donations at christmas if finances allow it.
again, thank you for sharing your story, i think the way you describe santa to your children is great :)
T
@mimico (3617)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
Well I don't believe in Santa obviously but if I had children, I would like to help them believe in that fairytale. You can only be a child once, and the wonder of being a child is the innocence and absolute openness to wonder that comes with it. If children don't have fairy tales, if they have to deal with this sad and materialistic reality at such a young age then I don;t know what our world would be like 100 years from now. I guess in a few years they'll outgrow the Santa phase, but as long as they believe, then i won't be the one to shatter their belief in Santa or the Tooth fairy or people who are extraordinarily kind and generous in this world. :)
@teclive (247)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
Thank you for your comment Mimico :) it is greatly welcome :)
I can understand and appreciate your point of view on allowing the children to be children and being able to believe in fantasy 'beings' and worlds.
However, what about the heartbreak the child might go through when they find out there really is no santa or toothfairy, heck, even the easter bunny for that matter?
what the heck does a bunny have to do with jesus christ anyhow? (ritorical question)
I have a cousin who is 13, and she still believes in santa, personally, i think its time her mom sat her down and spoke to her, as i imagine she will be twice if not three times as pi**ed off when she finally finds out the truth. I think the fantasy has gone on a bit too long in her case.
This is just my personal opinion though of course :)
again, thank you so much for taking the time and sharing your opinion with me :)
i enjoy it
T
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
Christmas is all about Jesus and not about Santa. I'm just so sad that most parents would rather teach their children about Santa rather than teaching the real reason why there is Christmas. Why not rather teach that Jesus was born on this day to become a man in order to save the people from the doom of hell! That God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but will have eternal life. This is the truth and this truth must be implanted in the heart of every child so that at an early age each child will start to know Jesus!
Why resort to lying if only to keep them excited about getting gifts from Santa who does not really exist. Why not just just ask them to wish for a gift and then advice them to pray that Jesus will provide money to their parents so that they could buy the gifts. Is it not that lying is bad and all liars will go to hell. But parents are lying when they talk about Santa and then making their child believe this lie. Tsk!Tsk!Tsk! I hope all parents are like you and not your like your spouse! (Sorry to him but that is my honest opinion!)
@teclive (247)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
thank you very much salonga for your comment.
santa as a person is a real, well, was a real person, just by a different name many many years ago.
I can understand why some people would not lean more on teh jesus part of it, as some people are not religious, however, on the other hand, i can also understand your opinion of the religious view if one is coming from a religious background.
For many of those who believe in evalution rather than creation christmas is about santa, and not jesus; where it stands almost opposite for those who believe in creation rather then evolution.
It is great to see that there can be such a wide variety of comments and opinions and still have the respect and appreciation kept for everyone..
thank you again for your comment, it is a very good insight
no need to be sorry...you said nothing wrong :)
T
@dhedows118 (891)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
Parent's doesn't have a choice but lying about santa clause I guess. They only want to make their children happy every christmas and to long for christmas season so, they tend to lie about Santa Clause
@teclive (247)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
Thank you for your comment dhedows, nice to 'see' you :)
Yes, i agree that many parents feel that they dont have a choice, but i always figured those kind of parents were also the same kind of people who were always 'keeping up with the Jones's'
I am enjoying and learning from this outside point of view from you wonderfully great ML's :)
thanks again for taking the time to comment :)
T
@tikei18 (359)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
On my opinion, for me there is nothing wrong telling them that Santa Claus exist. I think it's fun and part of the Christmas celebration, it's also the spirit of Christmas! I think why parents tells their children that they should be nice so that Santa Claus will give them gifts. I think they just want their children to grow better not naughty. So that their children will follow what their parents tells them. And I think the Santa Claus thing is fun for the children and it's exciting.
I remember when I was a kid my mom told me she saw Santa. She told me that Santa told her that I should behave well and be nice to others so that Santa will show up and give me gift as a reward. That's why I try to do what Santa told my mom. And I am excited whenever Christmas is near.
@teclive (247)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
hello tikei and thank you for contributing to the conversation :)
Yes, i guess all in all it is true, santa is a very large part of the spirit of christmas, i guess its quite fitting since santa is supposed to be a spirit himself at this point :)
i guess i can understand the whole behavioural side of it, and i suppose it does work to an extent when you get closer to christmas and the kids are looking through catalogs at things they like.
I want to thank you for sharing your story about your mom and yourself during your childhood holiday season :)
T
@geekyjock (371)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
When I was 5 I already started asking myself if santa was real and I just got this hunch that my parents are the ones giving me those gifts that i put on to those christmas socks. I think it was only me who have this curiosity, my sister was nonchalant or rather ignorant about it. So later when we started to grow older our parents somehow stopped giving gifts as "santa" and it really broke my sisters heart. I don't fell any disappointment, instead I feel delighted realizing I was right all along.
@teclive (247)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
haha i like how you handled the situation :)
I guess its a double sided sword in the case of santa, cant win for losing in some situations.
However, i would rather teach my children from the start that there is no santa and get it over with, rather then lead them to believe in a false reality for a few years just to turn around and so..'oh, by the way...fooled ya'
I dont have anything against anyone who tells their children there is a santa, and i have loved every comment on this discussion, i think its great to see all the different opinions and how people handle it :)
@IrishRose23 (542)
• United States
22 Oct 08
My daughter believes in Santa Clause, and i'm letting her. It's a tradition that's been going on for a long long long time. In fact, there was a Santa Clause- Sinterklaas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas) Santa Clause we know today has been commercialized by so much that many people forget. My daughter is 3 years old, so she's allowed to live in her fantasy world. The thing that I believe why young kids believe in Santa Clause is because if they're really good- they'll get presents. That teaches them (or some of them) to appreciate working for what they want. It may help them out in the future. I'm not necessarily lying to my little girl because there was a Santa Clause.
I know as she gets older, i'll have to tell her, but with her being still so young, I don't want to break her heart- especially after all she's been through. I say let kids be kids.
By the way, you didn't step on any of my toes.
@teclive (247)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
thank you for your comment IrishRose :)
I must say..i do remember being young and looking forward to 'santa coming' and the 'special' present he would give me for behaving, but i also remember the let down of finding out the truth at the end of it all.
I never thought of it as being a lesson of appreciating what you worked for to be honest with you, so thank you very much for sharing that. I just always figured it would be a lessoned learn while earning their allowance.
Again, thank you for the new insight :)
T
@LilPixelle (828)
• United States
22 Oct 08
My family never celebrated easter, and we had a "Tooth daddy" (That is what I called him in reference to what happened, Essentially he would fill each of his two pockets with different ammounts of change and we would pick which pocketful we wanted and would trade him the tooth for whatever was in the pocket, that was FUN)and for christmas, we were told right from the beginning there was no santa, and they gave us the presents, but that was mostly for religious reasons, I like your reason though, I mean Lying to your kids for no reason for several years in the beginning, that is a little...stupid? I mean that can break a serious trust between your kids and you for what? I mean what do you get for it? that they will thank santa instead of you for your presents? ... Yeah
@teclive (247)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
hello LP, thanks for your comment.
see,that is exactly what i was talking about, the trust between the child and the parents..i was pissed at my nanny when i found out because that meant that she had lied to me for all those years, it never did sit with me too well.
I like the toothdaddy story, actually gives me an idea for my children.
I have never pressed the toothfairy thing, luckily for me it is one thing my hubby stays away from.
The children do get money for teeth that have fallen out, however i never stated it was a fairy that gave the money to them. I simply said..put your tooth in this little bag and you can get money for it.
It did not take my daughter long to figure out who was paying the money, however, my son thinks the tooth turns into money, LOL.
My sons second tooth is actually ready to fall out, and i have decided to tell him that it is in fact me that gives him the money. he is a simple boy and really wouldnt care one way or the other..money to him just means buying more puzzles :)
again, thank you for sharing your story, i really did enjoy it :)
T
@Nhey16 (2518)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
my kids are 9 and 11, and we still do the "santa claus" thing. since my kids were younger, they already know that it's us, the parents, who give them the gifts, and they always say that we are their santa claus.
my kids are actually looking forward for the santa claus gifts yearly, maybe its not really about santa but its the fun and quality time we are having as a family.
@teclive (247)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
hi again Nhey:)
again, thank you for your comment.
My daughter is 8, last year she started asking me about santa being real, said she heard through school that he wasnt.
I asked her what she thought, she said she didnt believe in him and that she thinks its me and daddy.
Just as i was about to open my mouth and tell her the truth, my hubby, in a lovingly manner, haha, kinda nudged me outta the way and told my daughter that santa did exist.
Me, being the straight forward kinda mom that i am, later told her, that she will find out at christmas if santa exists or not. I told her, if you dont believe, then he wont come, if you do believe then he will come.
I dont think that is lying to her, kinda true in a 'cold' kinda way.
If santa doesnt exists, then, there would not be any presents from him, since all gifts would be signed from the family.
However, if she does believe, then we still need to sign tags from santa..so really..what i said was true :)
Christmas is a wonderful holidays to spend with family, i completely agree with you on that..i think it is the one time of year that our families (in house) really take time to engage in conversation and closeness
thanks for your comment again Nhey, always nice to hear from you :)
..man..i gotta learn to make my replies shorter ;)
@Nadia818 (77)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I personally think that children have imadginnations that go wild. I have two girls 2 and 4 and you better beileve I'm going to tell them about santa. I belived in santa and it made me feel special that some was giving me gifts that they thought I deserved. I'ts not nesscesaraly ling think oif it as broadining the mind.
@teclive (247)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
hello Nadia, thank you for sharing.
A unique way of looking at it i must say. Doesnt seem so bad when you look at it from your point of view.
I do agree that encouraging a child to use their imagination is a great thing to do, gotta say, i never related santa to it though...you have made me see it from a point of view that i dont think i otherwise have.
again thank you for taking the time to comment
T
