This Bothers The Heck Out Of Me.

I'd most likely come back with a smart remark like, "You sure have gotten OLD!" That's the way I'd probably respond. I'll throw it right back in their face and see how THEY like it! If they tell me I'm being rude, I'd say, "How is telling you that you're old any more rude than you telling me I sure have gained weight?" Some people just don't think before they speak. They don't even realize they're being rude sometimes! But, if you do the same as they did, it will make them see just how rude it was and maybe they'll start using their brain before using their mouth after that. Who knows? It MIGHT work.

People can say the dumbest things sometimes. And unfortunately, there are some people who think just because they are elderly it has earned them the right to be totally tactless. Why can't people just say hello and be glad to see you, glad that you recognized them.

I used to have this happen to me. My mom even did this once when I was a teen. I had lost about twenty pounds or so, right before the holidays. My cousin, who is 6'2" arrived. Mom said "You look short and dumpy compared to N_____." Besides always focusing on weight, which seems to go with that generation, the other thing I was always told, after I had kids, was "Don't you let that baby catch a cold." I just had an ornery thought, Chevee. Next time someone says that say "Isn't it great that I can still afford to eat with the economy so bad?" Sometimes people regard age as an excuse for rudeness. I guess you could also say back, "You sure have gotten old!" I know you do not want to be rude, so it is alright, just come vent to us, we understand.

I haven't had people tell me I've gained weight, but there was a time, a few years ago that I was going through a lot of stress and pain and I went from 120 down to 83 lbs. I'm a nurse and my patients and family thought I was dying, hell I thought I was dying. But they would tell my I needed to gain weight, which I already knew. Then when I did finally gain my weight back they told me I looked a lot healthier. But elderly people and people in general don't look at it in terms of age and what has happened in your life. And some expect that you will never change. I'm 42 now. Don't let it bother you. Especially with the elderly, they do have bad memories and sometimes don't think right. As long as your happy with yourself, don't worry ,be happy.

I would have smiled and said well you sure have gotten old!!!! And then I would have laughed and said time changes us all one way or another doesn't it? I had an aunt who ALWAYS said something negative or snotty to use when she saw us (like once every 10 years or so) and it really bothered me when I was young, but now I feel like hey, it is their problem for being rude. It still bothers me, but I try to turn it around on them so they understand that I think they are being rude, but still try to remain pleasant. Hard to do sometimes I tell ya!! I really detest rudeness!

Up until last year i had lived miles away from my grandparents for my whole life, so i didn't see my grandmother all that often, but everytime i did visit i could guarantee that she would tell me i'd put on weight or make some comment about me being too fat! It used to really upset me, as much as i love my grandmother she can be rather spiteful at times, so one day i just wasn't in the mopod for it and when i arrived at their house and the inevitable fat comment came -"you've put on a lot of weight since i last saw you" i just replied "oh really you look a lot older than when i last saw you" It sounds nasty but she had been told several times how much she was upsetting me, my mum was sat in the same room and had to try and cover up her laughter, but ended up spitting her tea back in the mug, and my grandad had to leave the room to have a good giggle!!! It is the only time i have ever had her apologise for being nasty to me!!! I think sometimes though, older people think it is a compliment to say someone has put on weight, my other grandma always says it to my mum (who is very slim), as though she's really pleased to see her putting on weight, other times i think they just don't think before they speak! xxx

well, it happens to be as well... people always comment on my weight... they always tole me like seems like i am losing weight or gaining weight... and these people see me every week in the church... i don't take it personally and just let them say what they want to say... it doesn't really matter that much to me anyway... take care and have a nice day...

I think that people who say bad comments when they see you after a long time, are really mean. No matter if you really gained a few extra pounds or not, she should comment on something else like for ex. "What a wonderful woman you became, I remember you as a little girl!"

not really. i just ignore stuff like that. if u r happy with yourself, that is all that matters. who cares what others thinks. only change urself if you want to change.

Well no matter how old you are or how old the person is who is referring to your weight, it's rude. I've seen and heard people who have commented on a person's weight and they were not what you would call elderly. I would hold my tongue.

Hi Chevee, oh!!! if only we could stay the same size as when we were 16, haven't they remember how they used to look like when they were yong/ next time when someone old say that to you, you should turn round and say that they are looking a bit old latley. Hugs. Tamara

I dont understand why people are so preoccupied with wight and then people feel they have the right to be rude about it too, I gained wight few years ago and then I lost wight but before I lost the wight my elders kept reminding me about how much wight I gained, I guess they do expect us to stay exactly the same as they did in there teens I just try to ignore it. first your to fat then your to skinny, I dont think our elders understand how what they say affects us, I think they mean well but they should just be more mindful of our feelings, but all that really matters is that your comfortable with your self.

Like u say, u have to excuse the elderly! That's if they even still remember who u were even after u told them..lol. Think of it this way, u wouldn't want to be in their position when ur their age:) Taripre$

This has not happened to me, but it has happened to my husband. My husband who 'struggles with his weight' lost around two stone, around four years ago. We went one day to visit his ninty eight year old Grandmother (who has since departed this world). We all sat in the kitchen and she remarked on how well I looked. She then looked strangely at my husband and said "Everytime I see you son, you get fatter". We where all totally shocked. He had lost lots of weight. He did not know what to say. My husband did not handle it very well either. When he got home he ate and ate. I told him not to worry about his eldery Grandmothers comment. "She cannot see to well" I said. 'She was not exactly slim either'. I wondered also why older people say things like this. I found a bit of information out in a recent study that, aging does not directly cause, loss of verbal inhibition. Changes in the brain overtime may weaken an elderley person's ability to gauge, which private topics are innapropriate for public discussion. Apparently, elderly people suffer from laspes in social sensitivity. They are not intentionally being rude. Role on the day I can speak my mind.

We all put weight on when we get older, especially if we had children. Even one will do it, and your shape does change. Oh by the way, did she gain any weight, but was she the lucky tall Scandinavian type that remains slender all the time? You know the type that us short people cannot stand because they are all so perfect? I lost some weight -mostly on my face and a friend of mine said I was thin. I was not that thin.

You sure have gotten wrinkled---wonder how they would like that?

Hi Chevee, The elderly people are very hard to deal with sometimes. I don't know if it was in their up bringing or if they are too old to care what they say. I can remember my mom getting upset with her mom when she would just say what she thought. But when mom reached that age she did the same thing. Now I see my twin sister starting to become more like our Mother evey day. I'm going to have to watch myself. leenie

Sometimes people just cannot fathom giving a compliment. They probably do not feel secure themselves, and the way they cope is by finding some superficial fault in others. When I was a child, and even through my teens, I had a smaller figure. I always thought I was "fat" though. I had an eating disorder and some mental problems as well. I had a lot of stomach problems from starving myself, and my body ached often as I was not healthy. I thought society and my family thought me as over-weight. I wasn't. No one told me otherwise then though. When I got with my love, he liked to eat, and I loved him. He got me through my issues, and I started to become more normal, being able to eat in public...so on. As I got older, I gained weight, and became more average overall, instead of just malnourished. My weight goes up and down, not drastically, but even when I was younger, I was one who could gain/lose noticeably within a week. So, now as a chubbier (healthier and happier as well) individual, I also come across remarks that are thoughtless. No one has ever come right out and mentioned me ever gaining weight, but the innuendo is made everytime I lose a little. I am around a lot of girls who are in that "slender phase", but what amazes me, is that they are more judgmenta then I ever was. I never cared about others build, I was more preoccupied with my own. Yet, now adays, it seems it is "in" to be thin, regardless of the health risks. People who go through thier lives, stay the same weight, look the same.. didn't live much. When things come up like that in my life, I just reflect on how unhappy I was when I was thin. People who liked me more when I was thin are probably not the people I would like in my life now anyhow. Shallow is only entertaining for a little while, if even that.

My family is bad about sayig stuff like that, the second I gain five pounds, they are commenting on it and telling me how I look bad and everything.

It bothers me too. It's part of the culture here and I hate it that people can be so crass. I remember when somebody whom I barely knew, a friend of my mother-in-law (I didn't even recognized her. I just greeted her to be polite), kept on remarking on the weight I'd gained. The last time she had seen me was on my wedding day and more than two years later during my sis-in-law's wedding (5 mos after I'd given birth) she was so astounded about how fat I'd gotten (which wasn't even that fat) and just wouldn't stop exclaiming about it. I just said "excuse me" and turned my back to her. I blogged about it though and my in-laws got to read the post, so hopefully she was made aware that I'd found her obnoxious and rude.