I tried to do the right thing.

When you let someone into your home you learn for quickly who and what kind of person this is. I would want someone to help me and I have had that done for me in the past. I want to help where I can and lend a helping hand to those that need it. It is hard now days because people do not seem to have the scruples that they used to have. Your instincts are there for a reason. Hard call, huh?

I have not been in that situation... and i hope i won't... but right now... i am thinking of letting a girl stay with me for a year so that she can finish highschool... instead of her going back to the province... she could help me out with the household chores... and just do some odd work for me... i just hope that she will be good... since i will be giving her a chance to finish her highschool...

i think we have all done that. i think we have all thought we were helping someone to have it come back to bite us in the A$$. but you said it in the begining of this post, something told you not too. and no matter what, you have to listen to that. even if people don't understand why you are saying no to them, that doesn't matter. you have to listen to what my grandmother use to call your first mind. when something tells you it's not right, then it's not right and you have to listen to that. not listening to that is what get's people killed. now that you have learned what she was really about, i think the more important lesson here is not about her not being a true friend, but you not being a true friend to yourself by not listening to yourself. now you have learned and you can move on from it with this most valuable listen anyone can ever learn. and that's when your gut says no, let your mouth do the same thing!!

good to hear that you got rid of her. its always such a let down when YOU are trying to be a good person and do the right thing, and the "friend" turns out to take advantage of you..or worse, stab you in the back. ive tried to help..and like you ended up getting things stolen, some of which had some pretty strong emotional attachments..so that made the whole thing even worse. a cd or something stupid i could have replaced..but not an heirloom. try not to let it stop you from helping a friend in need when the next time comes around..but then again, dont discount your instincts when they tell you this isnt a good thing.

I have done this a couple of times before also and I will never do it again. you just cannot trust people these days.

Yes, don't feel too bad, there are a lot of us out here that have fallen to the same thing! But I was lucky, because I was cautious, and I didn't let it get out of control, and I was able to end it before I lost very much of my valuables! But there are some people that are more compassionate than I, and let themselves be taken advantage of to a disastrous point! You just have to be stern and end it before it gets too damaging! I've always tried to help someone, but I make sure, that they try to help themselves also!

I remember well you telling me about this so called 'woman' you tried to help and I did feel worried for you at the time, how she used your generosity and threw it back in your face, it was the way she said you were her room mate that niggled me and I am so relieved that she is gone for your sake and especially for your son, she doesn't deserve to have a friend like you! She abused your trust. Glad you didn't have any hassle about getting rid of her! I am sure you won't be quick to help anyone again after that! You can't help some people can you?

I think we have all been in that spot. Sad that it comes right back to bite you. Still, I always give the benefit of the doubt because sometimes, the help really is appreciated and is just what the person needed to turn their lives around. live and learn.

I have helped a friend. And the relationship got ruined because of it. But that was because they took things for granted. And for too very long. I can't say I was stolen from. Since this happened to you, you are better off. At this point look at it like it is the effort you made that matters.

The second mistake you are clearly making is blaming yourself. How could you know this was going to happen ? We are only responsible for what we know and cause, not what others do. And don't let this take you away from charity. Charity is always worth it even when it doesn't work. I'm sure this lady has a lot more regrets than you, she just has not actually said so.

We let my brother-in-law stay with us after his divorce. He stayed a really long time but I can't say he ever took advantage of us. We let one of my parent's friends stay with us also while his condo was being renovated. He paid us a little rent, which helped us a lot at that time. He didn't take advantage of us either. And then my parents and the people who they allowed to stay. Other than really long stays, only one ever turned out bad. He was a kid my brother had picked up on Ventura Blvd. and brought home with him. He did actually steal a couple of checks from my parents and got another friend to cash them. My parents actually got the money back but the guy who cashed them wasn't so lucky.

There were a few times I tried to help someone and ended up making a big mistake. I tried to help my ex get on his feet and ended up with bad credit because he didn't pay cell phone bills that were in my name and stuff like that. Biggest mistake in my life which is why I want to be financially stable and my current to be stable before we even talk about marriage.

Was she truly your friend? Because no matter the situation, if you cared for your friend and she cared for you.... there would not be any stealing. Friends don't touch the others personal belongings. I can see a little white lie but why even do that when you have to cover that little lie up with another one. On top of that honesty and trust is are important factors so you should watch who you call a friend!!! Glad you got rid of her!

I'm sorry to hear about that. Yes, I always try to help my mom, even though I know it's a huge mistake -- but my heart wants to believe that she's changed. She's promised to pay me back a lot of times and didn't, she even used to take money from me when I went to visit her as a kid. So, I just try not to talk to her.

Oh yes, many times. I gave someone my precious camera to help the person to make money. He get lost alone with my camera. It was wrong, but I didn't learn my lesson. I did something similar with TV and money to help someone. I lost next friend. Now I am very careful who I am dealing with....

yeah i had help some friend..actually a girlfriend of my former boss stay in our house for a while since she was in a delicate stage at that time and need someone and shes away from home ..but it turn out to be well and good..its a kind of lighter feeling when you were able to help another without expecting in return..

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I do remember you telling us about her. It's a shame that she took advaantage of you and your home like that. I have had several people do me wrong like that. It's bad when we try to help someone out in their time of need and they slam us by taking things, lying, and doing what they shouldn't be doing. Hopefully we learn our lessons from these things. But the fact is that we will help others saying, this is a different person and not like the other one. We give people chances to prove to us that most people are not the same. Ony to find we are done wrong again. Good luck to you ni the future with other people.

Hi Kat! Yes i have numerous times and have kicked myself so much i have a sore behind..lol.. I fall for their sob stories..let them live in my place, give them money, give them jobs and they still rob from me and screw up..so i think i've finally woken up and become a person that will tell them no more will i listen to their sob stories unless they listen to mine first for an hour at least..lol.. huggs Dear one..

It happens based on the complexity of breaking the old good relationships we take a chance knowlingly to manage it safely or play it safely but still we make us to get drop in trap but not the least to keep the friendship as well.its true but no way to manage out of it

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I've had it happen to me several times throughout my life (more than I can count). Over the years, I've learned a valuable lesson...here it goes I cannot predict or know how a person will respond to my generosity, compassion or kindness. I only know how I want them to respond or how I myself would. So, I continue being generous, compassionate and kind; irregardless of what might occur. Because if I stop or change myself or my spirit in any way, I will become that which hurt me. I have learned to handle everything...EVERYTHING...with no expectations. Knowing that the outcome could be positive or negative. I can't control the outcome, unless I refuse to participate. But if I refuse to participate, then I have allowed others and their actions to decide who I am....which is unacceptable. Best of luck to you!