Could my friends on mylot can help me polish this writing?(^_^)
By freshrainer
@freshrainer (284)
China
October 30, 2008 8:28am CST
I write this letter in order to train my students' writing skills of complaining to someone. I will appreciate it very much if you can point out the mistakes and help me polish it. thank you.
Dear Sir,
I am writing to ask you to take the responsibility for my missing the flight. This is what happened. Just before the flight, I am reading a newspaper to kill the time. However, before I finished the reading the plane had taken off without reminding the passengers of the due time at all.
There is no denying that the time to get on the plane, according to the rules, should be announced many times in case someone forget it and are left behind. Besides, your carelessness has gone against your promise to the society that passengers are God. To my surprise, I haven't heard any apology for your carelessness so far. I hope you can face your mistake and make up for it.
Looking forward to your reply.
yours,
Peter
2 responses
@Nan110 (469)
• United States
30 Oct 08
It should be....
Dear Sir,
I'm writing this letter to ask you to take responsibity for making me miss the flight. Just before the flight, I was reading the newspaper to kill the time. However, before I finished reading..the plane had taken off without reminding the passengers of the due time to load the plane. There was no denying it was time to get on the plane. According the rules, It should be annouced a few times in case anyone should have forgotten the time. Therefor, your carelessness has gone against your promise to the society that passengers are God. To my surprise...I haven't heard any apology for your carelessness. I hope you can face the fact that you messed up.
Sincerely,
Peter
Hope this helped.
@freshrainer (284)
• China
30 Oct 08
Thank you. your revised one also cast light on my further polishment.
@tryxiness (4544)
• Philippines
3 Nov 08
Hello, here's my version of your letter. :)
--
[i][b]Dear Sir,
This is to complain about your inefficient service.
After checking-in to your airlines, I was reading the newspaper while waiting for boarding. After reading the newspaper, I have learned that that plane had already taken off.
I am disappointed with your service for you have not reminded your customers through the public announcement system to call them for boarding.
I was not able to take the flight in which I was checked-in. You could have called us, instead your airlines opted to fly without even taking an efficient look as to whether all of your passengers have boarded. You definitely did not treat you customers rightly.
What is dismaying with my experience is that you have not even asked for apologies. I hope you can face your shortcomings and make up for it.
Looking forward to your reply.
yours truly,
Peter[/b][/i]
