Cheating

I think each situation needs to be evaluated before making a decision on who is really to blame. From my own experience, I put blame on both parties involved since it was my boyfriend AND my so-called best friend. Even though I was mad at both of them for deceiving me in such a way, I was able to forgive my boyfriend quicker than my friend. She was supposed to be the one that I could run to when and if my boyfriend did something like that. I was extremely hurt by the situation that I was dealt.

Having been in this situation with my ex-b/f I can give a little insight. My ex cheated on me for about 6-7 years...with ALL MY FEMALE FRIENDS. Yup, after we split up I had women I'd known for years, long before he and I were a couple, come up and say "I thought you knew" or "It was just a couple times" or (my favorite) "It was an accident". Needless to say, he got kicked to the curb right along with the friends...afterall with friends like those who needs enemies. I do blame both. The man should know that if he's in a relationship then he has no business with anyone else...even if she stripped naked and offered herself up on a dinner plate. And the woman should know that if he's with someone else, she's nothing but a piece of meat and she should have more respect for herself then to be that. I've always believed that if your unhappy enough to cheat then your not happy with your partner. Several years ago, Hubby met a woman online and announced that he wanted to leave me to be with her. I went to Walmart, bought him a travel kit and told him good luck. Needless to say, we worked it out and things are great again. I figured if he wasn't happy, he needed to go where he would be happy. We got married 2 years ago and things are a whole lot better between us. [b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~ **AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]

i guess its easy to blame the mistress because if you blame the husband then it means there is something wrong with your marriage and it may be your fault .. so to separate ourselves from blame we tend to blame the furthest one away form the situation and that is the mistress... or the man if its a woman cheating.. but maybe the mistress did not know at the begininning she was helping a cheat so you can't blame her completely.

What people don't realize is that, many times the other peson doesn't know what's going on until the situation has caught up to the cheating mate! So the other person is caught in the middle in a potentially dangerous situation! So, now it's escalated into an emotionally charged moment and the other person is basically a sitting duck for a violent retaliation! Unfortunately, when ur upset, the rationale is all gone so ur thinking, home wrecker and I'm going to get everyone involved, but when u sit back, ur wondering why did u get upset at the other person, they're just there! I feel the same way, I never got or will get upset at the other person (if I'm in the situation again). Like u say, they're just a pawn, while the cheating mate is the culprit! Handle your business with the mate and let the other person do what they're going to do! Now, if the other person attacks u, that's a different story, but then they may not know what's going on either! Taripre$

its not only men cheating others women is also indulged in this act.she is a women,she has to act accordingly.

Initially, the cheating partner should be to blame. However, there is always 2 sides to every story. Let us not point the blame but instead isolate the problem. Why cheat in the first place? Not happy at home? Needs not being met? If the mistress just found out about the other woman, then it is up to morals to set things right. Don't do on to others what you would not like done to you. Because what goes around comes right back around! Some people enjoy the thrill and enjoy the risk factor. But it is a shallow act not to think of the consequences to the emotions of the uninvolved party. Victims do not ask to get hurt. It is not the duty of any one to think of some one else's feelings or to sympathize with their situation. For you are who you are - free to do what you do but, it is every ones duty to be righteous.

I think that everybody has a bit of a blame. If a partner cheated than there is something wrong in the marriage. So I think both of them have some kind of fault. The third party is at fault for intruding into a couple's life. © ronaldinu 2008

First of all, it takes two to cheat. It doesn't matter who you blame, cheating is cheating. If somebody decides not to blame their partner that's up to them but a cheat is still a cheat.

I see this is a responsbility of all parties. The mistress, the husband and the wife too. A happy husband will not wander away. However, I also see another side to this. There are those that are happily married but just need the excitement for a mistress. Those I see the fault of the person commiting the act and not the wife's or husband's fault. A mistress may not know what is happening, she may think she is the only woman for this man too. We just don't know anymore. many claim to be working late hours and business traveling events that can give them the opps to cheat.

i think it depends on whether or not the mistress knows about the wife or not. if she knows about the wife and she stills has an affair with the husband then she is wrong and she is disrespecting another woman. how would she like it if somone slept with her man? but on the other hand if she didnt know then she doesnt deserve to hear anything from the wife becuase the husband is the one running around like he is single.

I think every situation calls for varying modes of the blame game. If the mistress knows firsthand about the man's marital status, then SHE and the MAN are both to blame. If she didn't know at all, then she was also a victim in this cheating game. I also do not understand this phenomenon. Most people who have been cheated on always blame the "third person". They seduced my partner, they tempted them and so on... I think they're still in a denial state where you just have to slap them and tell them that it takes two to tango (pardon the cliché). Sometimes, marriages that aren't working drive others to cheating. I think the "cheater" owes it to his/her partner to let them know and try to work at it, instead of just sneaking around their partners' backs and when caught, they would blame the other person in the marriage for driving them to cheat. I mean, way to pass around the blame, dude/woman!

The husband must give love and time to his children and wife because they need it OR Made every night "HONEYMOON"

No, I think you think that the men are to blame. You forget that when a man cheats there is an equally guilty woman for each, except in the few cases when they are gay and cheat with another man. There is a double standard in cheating, the men are usually protrayed and pigs while the women as unfulfilled. When the women cheat it is the man who is blamed because he did not satify his wife, abused her or otherwise exhibited negative behaviour that forced her to turn for solace in another man. So in each affair there is one man and one woman who are equally to blame. For some reason women seem to think married men more attractive and they should know better, maybe it is a competitive thing.

Both. But men who cheated are really are to blame. Yes, you are right they are the ones who have the family, and he must be the very first person to consider that. Mistresses or shall i say "the other party" are just victims to this situations, because they fell inlove with the wrong guy. We all know that when we are inlove, it's hard to ignore the ones we love.

Well in most cases the cheating party should take either all or at least half the blame. I don't see a reason in blaming the second person unless you can prove for sure they new they were messing around with a married person. Many women have no idea that their bf/lover is married. (they are pretty good about lying about such things.) I'll give a for instance, a really good friend of mine met a guy, he told her he was divorced, she believed him because he gave her no reason not to. They dated, a yr later moved in together and soon after had a child together. Now fast forward 3 yrs, they are still together, and she just found out that he lied. He never really divorced his wife, they just seperated. That's right she's been with this man for 3 yrs and for that long he's been lying to her. So who do you blame in that situation?

As a person, she really should consider how she'd feel if it were done to her. If she does not know the wife and is single then that can be a bit more difficult and who knows what sort of line he is telling her. Quite often the mistress is not even aware of the marriage. If she is in a relationship herself as well, then she is just as bad as he is. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own relationships and actions. If my man cheated on me....I'd be blaming him...not going after the woman....well unless the woman were a friend of mine or family member....then I'd be after both their heads. Just kidding. If my man cheats...i'm done...simple.

I think the one and only person to blame is the cheating husband. He knows that he has a family at home and he swore in church or wherever that for better or worse he will stand by the wife, then how come he is cheating now? The mistress might not be aware that she is dealing with a married man unless he tells her and most of the cheating men wait until this other woman has fallen in love then they open up. Even if you are the cause of him moving out, you should face your weaknesses and mend them instead of facing off with the other woman.

I have seen it too. Some wives were angry at the mistress more than their husband because they said it's the mistress who tempted their husband and did everything just to break their family, which is not true. I think it's not just the husband who should be blame it's the wife too. Well, if a husband is satisfied and happy in his married life he will not be looking somewhere and get involve with somebody else because he loves his wife and family. Some wives or husbands don't do enough to make their significant other to be happy and satisfied in their marriage, and blame others instead of doing things right.

For me, man is more to be blame in that kind of situation. If a man is really responsible and acts as a real man he will think his family first. He is not going to have a misstress if he did not make a move.

this would sound cruel, but did you ever consider the WIFE? why do you think is the husband having an affair in the first place? am not saying that the wife is to be blamed, but i can't agree if you say that its all because of the husbad or the mistress