Why Do I Do It?
By bbydollz
@bbydollz (114)
United States
November 2, 2008 5:23pm CST
I am wondering maybe someone can help me out on this one. I am a very giving person, and it doesn't matter how many times I get screwed over. If one of my friends needs help and they ask me I am always there to lend a hand. I have one so called friend who asked me if I would watch her daughter, I told her I would because she was going to a job interview. Then she said she would pay me for watching her the following Friday no big deal right? Wrong she was only suppose to be gone for 2 hours and she was gone 7, then she never showed up on Friday to pay me and I can't get a hold of her and it has been two weeks now. She is suppose to start work Nov. 10th, should I still watch her child? because I need the money or do I tell her to get lost, and why do I allow people to keep doing this to me? She still owes me 20 dollars from 4 months ago. Now she owes me more. I need help, what should I do and why do I feel like I need to always be nice to people and let them walk all over me?
2 people like this
11 responses
@ideamanx6 (45)
• Philippines
2 Nov 08
Well you should still watch her child. You can't just leave the child, thats inhuman. And dont ever let people do those things to you. The more you let them, the more they will do it to you. In times like this you need to get a hold of yourself. Show them that you are nice but never in these situations that you have to be treated as a "nobody". Remember that you are a "somebody" who values time and efforts.
2 people like this
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
3 Nov 08
I guess it depends on how desperate you are for friends. This woman sounds like a user and has got you figured out. Why is her child your responsibility? You sound like a nice person and I would not mind you as my friend, but you have to grow a spine and stop being taken advantage of.
2 people like this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
3 Nov 08
i think you are a similar person like me... you are just too kind and nice and people are taking advantage of you... that's it... it happened to me in the past as well and now i am changing myself and i won't let other people to do it to me anymore... it is just so wrong to do this to other people (i think) and people shouldn't take advantage of your kindness... you need to stand up and speak up... otherwise people will keep on doing this to you... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
3 Nov 08
Hey as hard as it is you got to buck up.Maybe cut your losses and start saying "NO"!This world has to benifit you if you want piece of mind.So even thoug it's hard for you,try it...say no!Then go do something you want to do.Screw letting people take advantage of you!I had to learn the hard way.And i still struggle with it.But only sometimes because saying no isn't that hard for me anymore.
1 person likes this
@stiener (735)
• Singapore
3 Nov 08
If the child is not with you then I would suggest sitting down with her to iron out the issues. If the child is with you and the mother is missing for a very long time, then I suggest that you make a police report if necessary. Something terrible might have happened to the mother or it may be a case of an abandon child.
If you feel that someone is taking advantage of you. Do not sit in silence. Clarify with the other party on the problem. Silent means consent. This is a golden statement for people who like to act dumb. Else, it may be a case of miscommunication or misunderstanding.
2 people like this
@moneymaya (901)
• India
3 Nov 08
its shows that you hasitating to clear the point , I think as a person it is good to cate about others, which is greate quality which most on the are not blessed with but its one side of coin and i think its is also important that you should be respected as a other side of coin, you should talk with your friend clearly with this matter and iron out the matter atleast you should clear from your side and if he is your real friend and better understand you then i think he will definetly help you out.
2 people like this
@latriciajones (846)
• United States
3 Nov 08
you are like me i will help you no matter how bad you screw me over. but i am trying to learn and be stronger than that. i would still watch her baby but i would let her know that she needs to pay me for friday and any other day i am going to watch the little girl. so that way she knows up front, becuase if you dont she miht start taking advantage of your kindness.and sometimes it can be things like that that ruin the best of friends.
1 person likes this
@Carpathian (582)
• United States
3 Nov 08
Well, for one I would not watch her child, not only did she not pay you for any of the babysitting. But, she does not care about you or the child enough to even call or check on her in the 7 hours. What if something could have happened to the child and she needed to go to the hospital. Would you be able to help the child. You would have no way of getting a hold of the mother and you don't know what the child is allergic too. I would not put myself in that position. I understand about wanting to help people to the point that you hurt yourself. But, their are other ways to help people. When she ask you to watch her daughter just say you can't you have other things you have to do. Then, help a parent that really cares and will pay you. You can also check with WIC to see if they have any parents that need help with a babysitter.
1 person likes this
@bhanuprakash11 (7)
• India
3 Nov 08
As a person it is always good to care about others, which is great quality which most of them r not blessed with. But it is parallely important that it is respected. Try talking to your friend about your needs and tell her that you r in urgent need of money. A true friend always understands you. Or ask her whether she is trouble to pay money..
1 person likes this
@jmp_72 (246)
• Seychelles
3 Nov 08
I would advice you sit down with your friend and let her know how you feeling. Let her know that you feel she is abusing your friendship/kindness. Who knows maybe she is also in financial difficulty but don't have the guts to tell you and since you have been quiet and didn't tell her anything yet about the false promise to pay you for looking after her child on Friday could be reasons for her to stay quiet as well. Maybe when she starts work she will pay you all that she owes you.
Also i believe you need to stop letting people walk all over you. Stand up for what you think, that doesn't mean you need to be less nice and less caring. I can assure you your friends need a strong friend to lean on and not a battered one. Good day to you and goodluck in your meeting with your friend.
1 person likes this
@alyssakenzie (462)
• United States
29 Nov 08
You are indeed a very kind and giving person. If I was you I would not baby sit for her anymore unless she gives you the money upfront otherwise I would tell her that their is no way. Just make sure to stick to it and not let anyone push you around.
