When your child gets hurt,badly.
By marquitafox
@marquitafox (333)
United States
November 3, 2008 1:00pm CST
O.k.,saturday night my daughter begged me to go to her dads' house and we let her.Not 30 minutes later i get a phone call;Shayney has gotten burned.And from the sounds of her cries in the background,it was bad!When i told him my boyfriend and i would be there in a few to take a look at it,he stated it might not be that bad.I knew differently because of her cries.When we got there i realized why he hesitated,he didn't want us to see where he was living.There was no electric on and he had a cord running from the neighbor for an extension cord.A lamp,t.v.,and single burner were plugged in.And this is why my baby got burned.But no time for drama,we went straight to rite aid and bought all this stuff.Right down the road was our home and now it had been about 20 minutes.She is crying so bad it hurts me too.My guy takes a better look under good light and we took her to the hospital immediately.We got there 5 minutes later.And this was more waiting for my poor baby girl.She finally got something for pain,then they scrubbed it,peeled the skin off,then they showed me how to dress it.It is a second degree burn on her left foot.Holding my baby girl was all i could do while she screamed out in agony.At least it wasn't her face.No I'm never letting her go back until he gets his crap together!!!My baby can just stay home even if she does get mad,i got to do whats best for her.
2 people like this
19 responses
@nadooa247 (1096)
• United States
3 Nov 08
Im typically not judgmental but that was just plain irresponsible of him! If he knows the state his "home" (i use that term loosely) is in then he should have been straight with you and let you know... that is his daughter he should have worried more about her safety than what you might have thought.
Perhaps this will be a lesson for him... if he has a heart that is. Seriously im still shocked that he called you before taking her himself straight to the hospital!
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
4 Nov 08
Yeah the first thin i said was "why you calling me then,call the hospital!".No car but still whatever i just rushed and did what i had to do,besides what if c.s.b. got called till they could get a hold of me?Another traumatic experience for my baby.
@nadooa247 (1096)
• United States
3 Nov 08
You have a duty to protect your daughters but forbidding them from seeing him is a mistake...
Tell him to take them out to the zoo or the park. Somewhere that isnt a fire hazard or serious injury waiting to happen...
His love is not a subject but love isnt just a word it is an action. He should try to keep whatever environment he exposes them to as safe as possible. He knows how his home is, and he should have took them out instead of putting them in possible danger.
Let him know your concern and tell him as you said clean up or not will it be just out of your life but it will be the girls as well. You out of his life didnt jolt him? Well if he loves them enough the certain warning of him being cut out of their lives should jolt him to reality.
2 people like this
@nadooa247 (1096)
• United States
4 Nov 08
Since you have custody, and the girls are old enough to be reasoned with then this is YOUR decision!
You need to keep them safe and it is more than just your right rather your duty to be concerned. He isn't so you have to do so twice as harder than you should or ought to sadly enough.
Just be careful that your motherly love for your daughters doesn't turn you into the bad cop in their eyes... talk to them and tell them that their mama loves them and wants to keep them safe. That for the time being dad's house is off limits. Park, library, zoo, all those things are children safe environments and they should be safe in those environments if he manages to have one of them hurt then you go extreme and cut him off.
1 person likes this
@katrhina23 (1282)
• United States
4 Nov 08
OMG ! please dont let the baby go to his house again. Something worst might happen because of his house' situation.
2 people like this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
4 Nov 08
Don't worry about that!Thank you so much for caring,reading and responding.My kids mean the world to me!!That is the last thing i would ever want to happen,them getting hurt again.
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
3 Nov 08
I'm so sorry your child was burned. She is lucky it was on the foot and not somewhere else. I am glad the man was at least smart enough to call and to inform you about what was going on.
I agree with you that your children interest comes first. i would not allow him to take the kids anymore til he can prove he has running water, electric turned on and enough food to feed them. Plus no crap on the floor. If the rest of the house was as bad as I think having no water or electric. I am sure these kids should not be there.
I do suggest the father to take the kids for an hour or so to a park, out to eat, movie or what have you. Do this til he can prove his place is safe for the kids. make sure you see it first.
If he objects, don't allow him to see the kids. And let him take you to court to see them. I bet he won't.
2 people like this
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
3 Nov 08
I am sorry to hear what happened to your daughter. It is a shame that your baby father didn't consider putting the burner on a higher shelf seeing that the baby was there. A father need to have a relationship with his child, I wouldn't encourage you from preventing her to see him but I would encourage you to sit down with him and talk it over. Sometimes males are so careless that when a child is around them they forget about the danger after having living alone by themselves. Just go over there and see what you can do so that the child can still visit him. It is not as if you are going there to look him back. Remember you both have a child together and this child miss not choose. Giving him good advice will enable a good enrichment between both of you.
2 people like this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
3 Nov 08
yeah,i hear ya.Although i think he should consider getting his crap together.If his lights were on and he had his own living situation together,hell maybe even get his head right then i don;t think this would have happened.Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
3 Nov 08
You are totally right and i couldn't agree more.She is 11 thanks for asking.I just wish he would get it together after all these years.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
3 Nov 08
I hope and pray that your daughter is doing ok. How old is she?
I think you are very wise about your daughter not going over there again. If he wants to visit, it should be at your home. Does he have any type of agreed custody or visitation? If not, you call the shots and you should continue to use your mama's intuition and keep her safe! She should see her dad, only if he is supervised. His living conditions indicate that he is not a capable dad at this time in his life.
You take care of that little one! 
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
3 Nov 08
Thanks for your prayers.She is doing fine.And no he has no parental rights at all.He never has.I got to do what i got to do.I have always let him see the girls,because they love their daddy no matter what.But at 11 and 12 years old they will have to understand.My oldest does but my little Shayne still can't see no wrong.
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
4 Nov 08
Thanks so much for your prayers,she is doing well and i'm taking good care of her burn.You are right and she means too much to me.I will be keeping her home believe that.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
4 Nov 08
That must have been so horrible for you, I would have been so mad with him. I do not blame you for not letting her go there again until he has sorted his living conditions out. It is just lucky it was not a lot worse. I hope that she is OK now and the burn is healing OK.
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
4 Nov 08
You guys are so great,thanks i really appreciate the response!She is indeed doing very well and I'm taking good care of the burn!!Yes he definitely needs to make some improvements!
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
4 Nov 08
poor thing, how is she doing ?
well your ex is idoit.. i wouldn't let her go back, if anything he would have to come to your house to see her. and as far as your b/f now. jumping to say it's not that bad, specaily with burns. that is the worst feeling in the world. i've been burn a few times, it hurts.
well i hope your daughter is ok, and she heals fast.
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
4 Nov 08
Tat was my ex,but yeah i hear ya.This whole mess stinks and the only one suffering is her.Whatever she is doing very well.But everytime i change the dressing it kills me!I have had to peel the skin off and scrub it as well.It's awful.Thanks alot for your response and no, i wont be letting her go till he gets it together.
@psspurgeon1 (1109)
• United States
4 Nov 08
In our town, the court would end home visitation with him until he was able to provide the basic necessities and safety for your child. They would however probable grant him supervised visitation, maybe meeting at a common place for hour long visits a couple times a week. You could even extend an invitation for him to come visit her at your home. There are solutions, it will just take some time to figure it out. He definitly needs to know that the situation he put her in was wrong and that if he had problems like that he shouldv'e talked to you about it to come up with a safe/happy solution. Chances are though, he's very ashamed and didn't want anyone to know how he was living, but he needs to know that his childs safety comes before pride and self respect. She is an innocent bistander in this mess and I do hope that you can come up with a solution that works for everyone. I'm truely sorry your daughter had to go through so much pain, it is absolutely the most heartbreaking thing to go through to see your child in pain and not be able to help her. I've been there. But I have confidence that you are doing everything you can as a loving parent to care for her and she will heal quickly. Unfortunately, it will take a bit more time for you to heal emotionally from the mental trauma! I'll be thinking about you and hope you can get it all worked out! Best of luck! :-)
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
4 Nov 08
Sounds like we are definately on the same page here.Thankyou so much for reading and responding!She is a true trooper!
@lavender88 (192)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 08
Am so sorry to read of what you have been through so much. But I'm glad to know that they are okay now and hope all will stay that way. Of course, if I'm in your position, I would definitely feel that way too - protective over the young ones. Even a mother hen will attack anything that trys to disturb her little ones. Do ensure that he are capable to take care of your kids before allowing them to be with him for their own safety and well being. As for you, be strong and stay strong - pray to God for strength and guidance.
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
4 Nov 08
Believe me it means so much.Sometimes i think perfect strangers care more.It just makes me upset that i have to be the bad guy all the time.Oh well i got to do what i got to do.Thanks for the response.
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
I agree with you to not let your daughter to go and visit his dad again. I think he's so irresponsible because he's not aware of what might happen to your daughter. He should be wise and next time but I think it would be better if he will just visit your daughter in your place. In that case, you're sure that your daughter is on the safe hands.
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
4 Nov 08
I have tried that before and he has stolen from me several times.I don't think he wants to be around the guy that supports his three kids either,this guy has three kids of his own as do i.Besides i am tired of accommodating him.Thanks for the response.
@wujinbo (341)
• China
4 Nov 08
you are a so good parent,and the baby girl will be a happy one.parents always take good care of their childrens,and Best give them.this is a trueth ,no one will dout it.Pitiful world parents heart,parents give us so much ,we should know their plans and their heart.but some people dont understand their parent,they think their parents the old ,backwardness and may not understand.......all of that is wrong,you parents is like that is beaucuse they dont want you like their looking..........
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
4 Nov 08
Really,thanks alot for you responce as well.I think i understand what you are trying to say.I'll figure things out.
@yangshuai (136)
• China
4 Nov 08
i am sorry to hear that.but if you take some actions ahead of time,it might be avoidable.like the burned injury,it takes a long time to reheal it.there maybe are scars left on the kid's skin all her life.if it left on the kid's face,that really affect her appearance to his future.luckily,her injury isn't serious.i feel lucky to her.you better find the best doctor to cure her burned skin,and with best medicine.and i sincerely wish she get a quick recovery.both of you must be careful to look after her in the future.
1 person likes this
@marquitafox (333)
• United States
4 Nov 08
Thanks so much you guys.It really means alot.Hearing all these responses has given me a few ideas on what to do.And let me know there are people who relate.She is doing very well.
@sara1981 (10)
• China
4 Nov 08
i am very sorry to hear that,i am a new comer and i am a mother too .so when i first come here ,when i see your topic.i can not wait to read your text,because i want to know the result of it.and thank goodness ,your sweet baby is ok now.but i want to say,she is your world,but she is a child,she need you and she need her father too.Good luck to your daughter.
1 person likes this
@yukyrob (167)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
As a mother when my kid got hurt,its really hurt also for me. Even when my baby cries, my heart cries to. Our children are really part of us our own blood and flesh. If only we can always carry them and never out of our sight to make sure their safety. But we can never really tell what happen next.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
4 Nov 08
I am glad that your daughter was not more seriously injured. I would be upset too. I think you are right to not let her go back over to his place until he has better surroundings for her. I would not want either of my children to go to their father's house if it did not have electricity.
1 person likes this
@zeny_zion (1283)
• Philippines
3 Nov 08
im a single mom and all i had to think of always is to protect my kid. you see if a mother saw her kid in pain i feel the pain double. i always want my daughter to be happy. thats what all mothers wish. i know how you felt that time. maybe, your right dont let your kid go back to the fathers house. its the best decision for me.
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
4 Nov 08
this is so sad and hard kids get caught up in so many bad things when the parents send them back and forth.the hard thing is are you required to let your x see this child? if you are this is hard you need proof that he s not a fit father which is so draining of you and your daughters energy.but at the same time you need to save this child from this,no matter what the cost get her out of there and protact her.she needs you.
1 person likes this
@nikkilee6583 (70)
• United States
4 Nov 08
You hold true to that!!!! You are the responsible parent here, and your baby girl needs you to make the right choices. I am so sorry to hear about this burn, and I can relate to the whole sitation. You need to watch out for her and make sure she is safe, otherwise it is just as much your fault as it is his. I hope you stay strong and maybe one day he will get his life together. Good luck, and take care:-)
