forgive and forget?

Hi buddies, Forgive is very good but forget is very bad.I have frnd when we were fighted four months ago now his using a bad words and we were a good frnds before 4 months just for simple reason we were quarrel i have forgive him and the mistake is my frnd i have forgot every thing every thing he has done.

forgive and forget is hard to endure but i don't have any choice, i deal with this situation so hard it reaches my bones beneath my skin! because i can't believe that the one who admires me a lot and the one who i trust is the one who treated me like a fool at the end realizing that he created a wound in my heart suffering from this took me a year to forget what he had done to me, i cannot say it one by one for its really painful to reminisce, to forgive is crucial and painful and to forget is to close a book and burn it into ashes it is like a bitter fact that should be gone and should over forever!

This is so difficult to handle, after having this happen to me a few times, i learned to be nice and enjoy people I work with but never to get to close. I don't know what you want to do. Are you her boss? if so you could confront her but then you have a enemy. Maybe you can go to your boss and discuss it with them.

Unfortunately, when you work with people, you have to be professional. I wouldn't trust her again. I wouldn't confide in her. But, I would treat her professionally. This has happened to me. I just went on about my business and when she was around me, I acted cordial. I just left it as a professional relationship. If people will do that to you once, they will do it again.

I would be very unhappy. True friends are hard to find. That's the reason that i choose my friends carefully, since i tend to talk and talk a lot. Forgiving is not easy when you were hurt and betrayed. But time heals all wounds. In time you will be able to forgive her when your heart tells you to. I have been betrayed and i cursed the day I met him. Forgiving was hard at first. Then I know it was meant to be. That somehow we go through life and learned from our mistakes. Our past reminds us of an unhappy memories or happy ones?, but we need to look the past with a smile, since it made us a better person. I know trust is hard to give and earn. Once broken, it is never the same again. Just dont let her bother you from now on. I am sure she just said things because she must have been jealous of you. Instead, be your happy self again and live your life the way God wants you to. Happy Weekend! hugs

I might forgive her but I might not be able to forget what she did. I will not talk to her anymore and will stay away from her forever. some things are forgiveable but cannot be forgotten.

Has she apologized? If not, you don't need to forgive her. You could talk to her and tell her how she hurt you and see if she says she is sorry. but, I would never trust her again. You do not have to put yourself in harms way by being with her. Stay away from her as much as possible. Pray to God that you can forgive her, but do not forget what she did or she might do it all over again.

First of all dont trust anyone, specially where you work. In office its all about promotion. People step on others heads to go high. You told everything to her and obviously she misused it. You dont have to forgive her. All you have to do is just don't repeat your mistake again.

I really understand what you are facing now because I am in the same situation as you are. Last year I moved into a new home and I was renting. In front of me is a neighbor who became my best friend. She looks very polite, and she seems very honest with me. I thought she was the best friend ever because she always say good things to me and make me happy. However she always like to tell bad stories about other neighbors. I don't like her attitude and I always tell her to change her attitude. I did that because I was concerned for her. If the neighbors know what she had been telling me, I know both of us would get in trouble even though she is the one who started it. I thought she never said anything bad about me because she said I am her best friend ever. She said she really trusted me, not like other people. But one day I overheard her stabbing me from my back. At that time she was sitting in front of my house with another neighbor but she didn't know I hadn't slept yet. It was after midnight (around 1 am). I was shocked to hear all her sayings. I couldn't believe she could slander me just like that. From that moment onwards, I was determined never to trust her again. Until now I still didn't forgive her and I didn't talk to her at all. And she looks as if she knows she is wrong because she didn't come and ask me why I didn't want to talk to her. I hate her and I don't want to be her friend. I will not forgive and forget.

Hello desiree_apuli, well if somebody betrays your trust, then you should never trust that person again. I know that we all get hurt and lose our faith in other people, but then we try to restore our faith in mankind by forgiving the person who betrayed us and letting that person back into our lives,in the hope that they will have changed. This is a major mistake. It is far better to move on. After all there are millions of nice people out there. Have a nice weekend. Umart

forgive but don't forget... true friends do not hurt each other but support. in your case, she is not really a friend..i have this philosophy not to tell anybody my deepest secret, not to a friend, a brother or a sister or to sweethearts cos you'll never know if they can keep it. its not that am not trusting everyone- its just for my own sake..if ever i tell them, its just a simple things that we can relate to each other. Anyway, all my friends trust me- and i keep secret as secret til d end of my days..

I'll try to eliminate her in my life. Maybe I considered her as a bad dreams in my life. Never becoming friends again. Ok, try to be civil and casual to her. But not that close as before.

i wouldnt know what to do, if that happens to me. i hope you'll be able to think of ways how to deal with her...coz that's really devastating and painful to know that a so-called friend was really a fiend

yeah , if my friend betrays me , I will be angry very much as you do ,even more angry than you . However , I know a true friend is very precious ,losting a true friend is a pity . It's likely that I will regret soon . So , I won't scold my friend , because I don't want to lost the friendship . I will have a talk with him and tell him my thought . I believe that he will realise his mistakes and change his attitude . I hope you can deal with your relationship well .

well firstly it'll depend on whether she apologises or not. if she doesn't, there's nothing to forgive. even if she apologises, it depends on how sincere she is. if it's just apologising because she is caught, then i really don't see how to forgive her. then the forgetting part comes in. i think one should never forget this kind of thing. the lesson learnt is really useful for future dealings with this person. i can forgive, but i don't believe in forgetting. cheers

its so sad and painful for one to experience this kind of thing and am so sorry about it i wish i can tell you not to worry about her actions but the truth is you must think about it and also you should try the best you can to forgive her cos that ius the most reasonable thing to do and also you should just make up your mind not to tell her any thing again

i try not to get that close with people at work or coworkers. most of them just use others to get ahead at work. i think that they think they are on a soap opera or something...

just let go of the pain that she has caused you. if you are really willing to let go of the situations that hasn't done you anything good, and can even be considered a worst nightmare, just forgive and forget, i know this is easier said than done but that's what you're suppose to do. besides, christmas is really coming and if you'll be personally asking me, i don't want to be involved in anybody else's problem. and i dont wanna hinder that peace of mind that she deserve.

There's an old saying that might apply here. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." If this person, whom you work with has proven unreliable as a friend, then I would recommend that you maintain a friendly, but non-personal, professional relationship with her. It sounds like she is either very immature, or likes the thrill of indulging in gossip. If you've heard her gossiping about others, you have to know she does the same about you when you aren't there. Keep anything personal out of any conversations with her. Over time, it's easier to forgive. If you are like me, it's much harder to forget...and for some one like this, that's probably a good thing.

it really very hard to forgive someone if the deed is very very bad, betrayal by those who are very close to you is really a very hard to forgive. This happened to me when my former girlfriend dumped me for another guy, it tookme years before i could move on again, but finding her happy in her life today made me forgive her. It is doable, the only thing that will not heal is your closeness to her before. Just forgive her, it is divine to forgive you know. :)