When you get into a fight with hubby...

oh tell me about it...i feel that way all the time. i guess it's common among couples. i actually took a month off from work because i was so burned out with everything! i got frustrated about everything that was going on around me and i just wanted to take a break! i also have issues with my husband and his time for our family. we both work but his hours are more hectic. there are times when all we need is even a little time and it's hard to believe they cant even make the slightest effort to try. i dont nag him so much about work cuz i understand the situation, it's the extra effort and the spare time that he has and can do but wont give is what gets to me.

Completely!! Usually when I get upset with my spouse I usually just sleep all day. I don't lift a finger or rather sometimes I'll just workout and try to get the stress out of me so I'm not so upset at him. It's the worst feeling in the world to be upset with a spouse and not have an opportunity to talk about it before going to bed or before they go to work. My Mom is dealing with the same problem as you are. And honestly she's just sick of it. It seems like the only time he listens is when she threatens to leave. Than he changes a few things for a week or two and goes back to his old ways. My Dad works a lot about 60 to 70 hours a week. And when he's home he makes more of a mess and doesn't help around the house. ANd it doesn't help that my Grandma lives with them and she has Alztimers. It will get better just hang in there and make sure you talk with him tonight. And if you are still really upset right before he comes home. My best advice would be get a piece of paper and write and complain about everything that is pissing you off. ANd you'll get it out before he gets home and maybe you won't be so upset at him when you guys talk. I hope you feel better. And I just wanted to let you know your not alone.

Do you ever feel like that sometimes? Like you just don't want to do anything because you're too angry or upset with your spouse? Yep or I'm angry with the kids, the world or even just the smallest of things..On days like that NOTHING gets done.... sorry you are having issues...I can relate because my husband and I went through it for yrs. I hope the two of you can work it out

Yes I do get like that, not so much now but when we were going through our bad patch everyday the upset would make me want to just do nothing at all. In fact a lot of things did suffer because of the amount of stress I was under all the time. I must say though that since all that we have not really had a bad word or fall out between us for two years which is great.

I went through a spell of this with my husband, quite regularly in fact. There were days that no matter what he did, it wasn't right. Gone to much/home too much, didn't talk enough/talked too much....etc. Then I started keeping track of these days on the calendar. Know what I found? Almost all of them fell on my pms/blue days! So, what I started doing was making plans on those days, something I wouldn't normally do. Go see a movie, go to the library, museums, go to the park. Don't cook, don't do housework. While on those days, I still had an overwhelming urge to be upset, it was tempered with activities outside of the home. Those became my goof-off days each month. Even though I'm now beyond those blue days, I still take my goof-off days.

well,I think in a relationship..there are times when it happens this way...But dont think he doesnt love you.. always remember only loved ones fight...are you newly married?

Yes, definitely. It becomes all that I can think about. We do usually manage to resolve these things quickly, though. And if one of us has to leave in the middle of an argument, they'll call when they have a break so we can discuss it (quietly).

It's weird, but when we fight and he goes to work and I'm still mad I clean. For some reason I clean more when I'm ticked off then I do otherwise. I do the least cleaning when things are ok. I think because I miss him when he's at work and when he isn't here I just don't feel like doing anything productive. Weird huh? lol

So sorry you feel this way. I hope it gets better. It is Friday, does he work on Friday? My husband and I both work so there is no time for either us until weekends. But then it is always cleaning and errands day. Look at the bright side, he has to work so he can pay the bills and keep you and the kids happy. Holidays are almost here, and I am pretty sure he wants to work more hours to earn more to buy some more presents. Time our tough now and many companies are laying off people. It is good that he still has a job and working so hard. I hope your weekend will be better and you can spend some time with him and the kids. Surprise him and have the house clean and dinner ready so when he comes home he will feel that his hard work is paying off. I understand you feel that he is not spending enough time with you, I wish I had a husband who will work as hard so I can be home with the kids to care for them. Happy mylotting

Hey haven't responded or heard from you in awhile,I have been busy and not been here at mylot much .I am sorry you had a fight with hubby today but I have some words for you I hope they help.1st I know from your discussions you have money troubles so hubby needs to work all he can to keep you on track.Your depression today doesn't just come from the fight with him it comes from the fact that you have depression.On top of that you have an overwhelming life even if you didn't have money problems.5 kids,and a set of twins can be exhausting to even the most happy go lucky exuberant person.That is a lot for you to deal with every day 24 hours 7 days a week I would be very overwhelmed. Take a deep breath and do something for yourself today whatever it is,make the kids find something to do,or find something for them to do that will give you an hour to yourself.Take a nice relaxing bath,or play some music you enjoy.Whatever it takes just do something for yourself and then tell yourself you are doing the best you can.You have a lot on your plate,hubby needs to worry about the bills,you need to worry about the kids.Give yourself a break,this isn't little house on the prairie days when 5 kids were easy so to speak.Things are different now,kids are less in control then they once were it isn't easy.You can do just take time for yourself,you not only need it,you deserve it. Jas

I think everyone goes through this. It's a normal reaction to say screw this I'm not doing anything. It's tough for him to have to go to work that way and for you to be home stewing. Best thing for me was to do something really strenuous, exert that anger energy.

I guessed everyone doesn't have the interest in many things when upset.Everytime me & my hubby fight,I dont have any accomplishment for the day,however,for the sake of my children,I need to comfort myself just to free them from any form of depression.Kids are usually affected everytime dishamony between couple occured,not only emotionally but in almost all aspects in their lives & it is my greatest fear that they would seek comfort outside the home by involving themselves in a bad things.

I am sorry to hear that. But maybe you shoule think about him, he is working for the family and he is busy at that time, maybe he want to spend more time home with you and your children if you have any. Maybe he is under a lot of pressure now, so do give him more pressure. Hpoe you are both doing well now.

If I said no, and then you learn later I'm married for 38 years, would you believe me? OF COURSE! I've done that a few times over our life together. Sometimes it worked for me and sometimes it didn't. By doing nothing at all, I would fret and fume sometimes accomplishing absolutely more of what I didn't want: bad feelings. Sometimes, I would fret and fume until I couldn't feel bad anymore and the bad feeling would dissipate. I found that if I didn't do anything, that it was often a wise choice. Why? Well because taking that negative mood with me into anything else seem to affect it negatively too. Do you know what I mean? Yes; I have felt at times like you describe.

to be honest with you, i still go to work and do the usual household chores like cooking and cleaning for my hubby when i am angry at him... i don't know why... but i just can't let go of my responsibilities just like that simply because i am annoyed at my hubby... my father had taught me since i am a child to differentiate between responsibilities and personal problems... so that's what i do until now... take care and have a nice day...

I always have fights with my husband. Sometimes we don't speak for days. But the funny thing is, the more I get angry with him, the more I want to do the household work. I guess that is how I vent out my anger.

When I was married, yes we had those moments. I hated that feeling so much. I was usually the one the would go to extremes to patch things up mainly just to end the disfunction between us. Most especially if I was just being grumpy because I was overwhelmed or missing him too much, I'd go out of my way to do something special...make a nice dinner and appologize when he got home and be real sweet to him. I hope you and your husband work things out and things are better for you soon.

ohh yeah i do.... i think, it's really normal for us, stay home moms to feel that way. just like now, at this very moment, i am feeling gloomy again and i dont want to do anything. so i opened mylot and read a lot of discussions so i would feel fine.

I could say that I can somehow relate to your situation however, it would be the opposite for me. I'm the one who is working while my husband stays home. He's a businessman, thus he works from home. He takes care of the house and the baby and at night when the baby cries, he still takes care of him because I need to rest or else I'll be sleepy during the day when I'm working. I guess you're annoyed because your husband doesn't show his appreciation for you, for all the things you do...keeping the house orderly, taking care of the kids and himself. What I realized from experience is guys don't knoe we feel differently at times because it's not instinctive to them. We have to tell them how we feel for them to realize what they're doing wrong or otherwise. Don't get frustrated, tell him you're tired and would love for him to give you a back rub or something.

i'm sorry to hear that.as a wife,she always hopes more time with her hubby.as the saying goes: east,west,home is best.when getting along with each other long time ,trivia happens is avoidable.but a violent fighting isn't reasonable.once meeting the arguemeent,calm down,don't lost your temper.making a peace talk,don't you think that's better.wish the terrible thing won't happen.wish you both happy.