Lashing out

Yes, that happened to me, too. I had lashed out at my husband once, saying all the hurtful words and feeling so guilty about it afterwards, especially when he didn't say a word at all. He remained calm all throughout that episode while I was spitting mad at him. After that, I really try to curb my anger. If inhaling and exhaling doesn't help, and counting 1-10 doesn't work either, I lock myself in the bedroom, get a pillow and punch it as hard and as many times as I can. It helps me sometimes when I do that.

I usually snap people who I feel confident with. On most occasions they have nothing to do with the true reason that I am edgy and nervous. I have to learn the breathing techniques more and count to ten before acting. © ronaldinu 2008

I have found if I can step outside and just take a little walk. Maybe even pace back and forth when I'm not present in that person's company, I can calm myself down. I try to always thing to pray so God can help me regain my temper. I hate losing control of my temper. It rarely happens, but I don't want to say something I know I'll end up regretting.

Well, I always try my best to treat people with love and respect ,but some people are so bad and selfish that is hard to control my cuban temper at times. I cannot deal with injustice ,and if I see someone doing something terrible is hard for me to watch and remain calm.

Hello pose...I am a very short tempered person,to the core........But experience has taught me to have perfect control of my emotions ,now.In my younger ages I just used to burst out in anger,when people said something I did not like .But after that I used to have a feeling of guilt at my out burst and for saying things that would have hurt the person,and it used to hurt me more. But now I am able to handle such situations with maturity.If I am angry,or if someone misbehaves with me,I just wait for my feelings to cool down,Then I try to analyse the situation,and then when things have cooled down a bit I try to reason with that person,and even seek an explanation for the misbehaviour,and in most cases am able to reach an ammicable solution,suitable to both of us,in a favourable ambience..... A good post,Pose dear.......

I deal with such situation simply by going somewhere and spend couple of minutes with myself and just breath out the frustration. If i am at home i will go to my room, if i am at work i go to the rest room. But there are times when you just can't control and let it out. Of course the guilt feeling is there afterwards but i always make it a point to go to that person to apologies, even if it was that person's fault i snaped.

This is a very common situaion in every body's life. The question is how frequently you behave in this way. I passed such a period sometime after completing my B.Sc. when I found no job. The socio political situation of my state was also deplorable. Govt. jobs were sold out (this is still continuing) for money and only very fortunates were getting jobs on marit. I had neither money nor willingness to bribe. During that time I bacame very misbehaving in nature. However ,my introspection helped me to identify my problem. I succeeded in rectifying myself within one year or so with the help of one book "How to stop worrying and start living". Thanks to Dale Cernegie.

Great discussion! For me the breathing thing does not work and then there are people who get offended if I ask for time out to go collect my thoughts, though that works for me. So what I do is remind myself of how limited my time could be with each person. Like for instance I was working abroad and had a difficult relationship with my brother, but I always knew I was not going to stay in that country for long, so I would think how I would regret it when I moved away and that helped me see the big picture and avoid the small differences. In many cases this is true - with our parents, we will one day get married and never get to spend all day with them like when we are children/ teens, same with siblings. With grandparents, their time is so limited, we never know when they will move on and such..this method works for me!

I generally do not lash out at people. i am cool headed in that respect.in any case if its too much, i may lash out at people. but next moment I say sorry if really i had to say so. I think meditation can help

I believe that responding instead of reacting is the key. When you respond, you have clearly thought out what it is you want to say. When you react, you say the first thing that comes to mind.

Hi, Pose123. I am more likely to do something like slam a door than I am to lash out at another person. But I do understand the guilty feelings that follow. I tend to use the deep breatheing that you refer to as a way to control my emotions.

Hmm... I don't lash out at anyone even when I'm very angry. I don't know, I'm maybe gifted or cursed with the skill to remain calm even if deep inside me I want to explode (and if I do, though, it's already planned and I don't regret it afterwards). However, I do say a stern and stinging word to someone I'm angry at. I figure an arrow hurts more than a knife. There's no way around the guilt, unless you're like me who simply moves on even if I did something awful to somebody. I just shrug off feelings of guilt simply because I believe it's useless to cry around spilt milk. What's done is done. Cheerios!