Something missing between me and my bf

HI denise, Help me to understand please so I can help. Is your bf married? Are you trying to fight your emotions?

Hi again, Have you gotten an answer here yet? I'd suggest, Denise, looking within yourself, thinking things through, and talking things over with your bf, as no one here really knows you and the circumstances surrounding the situation. (And if you have a close girl friend (who knows the 2 of you) to act as your sounding board, talk it out with her). Obviously, this concerns more than simply "feeling/falling in love" with a married colleague, because now you're asking about the quality of your relationship with your bf. You ALONE know if you do still love him or not. By the way, you can't base the success of a relationship on its "sparkle." Most start out that way, but over time, as it gains STABILITY, this is replaced by commitment. The latter is the only way to make any relationship stand the test of time, but true and deep love must be there. This includes respect for and being honest to each other. If you can pray, just ask God to help you make the right decision. Hope this helps.

Denise, I will say the same thing to you that I have my daughters and my grandchildren on this matter. You should not be with or have any love connection with a married man. He is cheating on his wife by being with you or having anything in any romantic kind of way. If he is cheating on her he will cheat on you! You are something new and exciting to him for now. If he is not divorced then he probably never will be. Never, ever go with a married man or even entertain the idea. A man knows what to say to a lady to get to her. Ask any man on here or anywhere and they will tell you the truth as they, a man sees it. When a married man is seeing another woman. You need to move on in your life and find a good man that is not taken. There are a lot of them out there. Do you want to be seen as a woman that keeps a marriage in discontentment? I don't think so. If you do then you are not being the right kind of person that a man needs to be with and he is not doing right by being with you. You need to go out and start meeting other people. Don't look for a new man in your life. Just do things and enjoy your life. When it's meant to happen you will meet someone that will give you all you desire as a lady in their life. A life that has a future! You have no future with a married man. I'm sure you want to be happy and have a good love in your life. Then, move on. Get out and have a nice time doing things. Someone will come along. Someone that you can have a good life with, that has all the time in the world fro you and your relationship to grow. Best wishes to you dear.

Maybe it is not something missing between you and your boyfriend but something missing in you. Maybe you are the problem in the sense that you don't know what it is you really want and maybe you are not being fair to your bf by holding on to him when the truth is, you really do not love him. Face up to yourself and ask yourself what it is you really want. it is not surprising why you feel that way considering that you have fallen in love with another man who happens to be married. Again my advice would be for you to be fair to your bf and let him go by telling him the truth that you don't have feelings for him anymore.You say he is good kind and thoughtful so why are you treating him so unfairly? You are the one who strayed and why do you punish him for your misery which is due to your own fault. Come on girl be mature and responsible. If you have no more feelings for him than its best to break up with him and let him look for another who would be true and fair to him.

This is true that you should not have fall in love with the married guy as his wife life you are spoiling. Keep away form the married guy and as you have the boyfriend why you want to indulge in this married couples life.Let that family be happy adn you also will be happy when your bf comes from abraod and get married. Good luck

Hi Denise. I've actually been following this love story of yours. I've always been the soundboard of my friends' lovelives. I wanted to hear how things have turned out for you and right now you're getting more confused over this. Good job on fighting your developing feelings for the married colleague of yours. I know it's a very hard thing to do, trying not to talk to someone you really like when it's all you ever want to do. Your feelings for your boyfriend on the other hand is of a concren, as what another mylotter said and I totally agree. In the 6 months that you have been together before he went abroad did it feel like he meant the world to you? I mean, if you really think about it 6 months is not really that long a relationship so I'm thinking that maybe this is the reason why you are no longer feeling the same way for him as you did before, since the foundation of your togetherness wasn't really that strong to begin with. But then, I don't know how you two interacted to my assumption might just be wrong. Since you are living alone, I suggest soul searching. I've mentioned this on my post from you previous discussion. I think it would be beneficial for you to grab this opportunity, since he's away and all, to enjoy yourself, have a little vacation and try to sort everything out. All other can do for you is give you the advice but only you really know what you want in the end. It would be good for you to have a me-time apart from all the confusion of your feelings. I hope everything would work out fine and that you would post more from your experience about this. I'd love to hear how it works out.

MAybe you should talk to BF how ya feel and see if you can work it out so maybe also you need more time with him to see just how you do feel about him and your realtionship!

Your boyfriend sounds pretty wonderful. Your colleague is married and he should not be stepping away from his wife. Do not get caught up with this man as there will only be heartache and regret there for you. I can promise you that. Now here is the hard part...this problem you are having is one you need to talk to your boyfriend about. If he is your true love, if you believe in him and love and trust him, if the two of you are meant to be together, this should be a natural thing to do. If you are EVER troubled by anything you should be able to talk to your partner about it...rather than betraying his love and trust in you and expecting forgiveness, you should first tell him of your fears and unhappiness. Loneliness can make someone do terrible things when the imagination plays tricks on us. If you cannot keep busy and occupied the heart can suffer. But love is like that. You find your own strength when you refuse to give into temptation....all the best.

What is missing is that you do not really love your boyfriend. I know the difference with thinking you are in love with someone and actually being in love. The time I thought I was in love the man did not love me and I knew there was something wrong but I kept hoping I could turn myself into the person he could love. In your case you sound like you thought you were in love with your boyfriend and then you met someone else you fell in love with but he was married. You have a problem here because married people rarely ever leave their partner for someone else. It can happen but it rare. What you have learned is that you are not in love with your boyfriend you just thought you were. I know the difference. When you love someone there is no one else in your life. It does not fade in 6 months or 4 years. If you grow apart it might fade but it can last a lifetime. The reasons you give for being in love are not love. You said I mean, he is so nice to me, love me and come all the way to visit me even he's only got a one-day weekend. Talk to me when I am online and he graduated from a top univercity and such a gentleman. These are good points but they are not the basis for love. If I was saying why I love my partner it would be that he lights up my life, that the world lights up when he is around and that he adores me and it would break my heart if he ever left me. Sure there are other guys around but they are just background. When my partner is in the room to me it is like the spotlight is on him and nothing else matters. Do you feel like that about your boyfriend? I do not think so from the way you talk. If you want to marry for love then you have not found it. If you want to marry for economic reasons and have someone who can support you then fine but be sure before you go down that path. Remember a married guy is unlikely to leave his wife for you. It is very rare. The married men who stray will often just use you and then move on. The same can be true of married women.

sadly.. this is a common occurance between couples. people think that because they happen to have feelings for another other than the specific one theyre with.. that it means they do not care for that person and shouldnt be with them. the human heart has an astronomical capacity for love and affections.. and personally.. i think that stifleing that ability to force yerself to not feel what you feel is detrimental to a person spiritually. ive ben reading sporatically this tale of yers.. and ive gotta now put my input in here. you havent done anything wrong in feeling what you have for your co-worker. you are very simply.. being HUMAN.. you ended this relationship because you are committed to another and so is he and you feel it is wrong.. not ALL relationships are monogomous in nature.mine isnt, and i know plenty of others who arent as well. while this may not be how everyone wishes to have their relationships be.. some just arent cut out for just the one on one possessive ownership restrictions that society has made relationships be. my advice, is to cut yerself some slack.. try to talk to yer boyfriend about what yer feeling.. communication is very important.. ya might learn that he wouldnt have any troubles sharing yer affections in the slightest, and it might open up a whole new world of freedom and happiness for you both. i wish you much luck.

It sounds like you don't truly love him anymore but you are trying to convince yourself that you do. I think if the spark is gone that you need to end it now before you hurt him more. Maybe the long distance relationship has changed your feelings for him.

i used to feel that way too with my man, specially when it comes the boring season..we use to lost the feelings, like we're a stranger. we let it be like that 4 a while, coz there's no way a couple can stay romantic all the time, everyday, every hour..but then, we soon back to normal again, caring each other, bring back the romantic feelings n so on..we dont want to think that is this the end ? do we lost the feelings ? will this relationship last forever ? we dont want to think like that, coz we know its just a temporary time we will always be back to us again, coz we both know we cant live without.. i knew this from a friend of mine : "dont be with some1 u can live with, but be with some1 u cant live without.." i hope everything goes well for u Denise =)

HI Denise. you know this happened to me some time ago. you know what got me over it. I pull my self out of my self to see what others see in him. maybe ask his x what made them break up. was me mean, shelfish, did he say hurtful things to her that broke her heart. theres always a reason that people can't see. when there blinded to love. until after they eather say I do .or get in to a relationship sometimes it's to late.so take your blinders off girl. and ask your self, if for some reason you won him over. what makes you think someone won't win him from you.

Hi,I admire your strong will, you are really tough.. Back to your issue of you and your bf, perhaps, you two just lack of the spark in between.. If you still have feeling on him, why not you just try again to spark of the relationship instead of just end it? Sometimes, its juz kind of transition period.. Refresh the sweet memories between you and him, how you two being attract each other, work out together.. I guess you and him can sort out... Dont just simply end it and regret later

I'm afraid to say this but, your constant hesitation to distinguish your own position within your predicament as well as your relationship with that boyfriend of yours, whom you described to be nice, loves you enough to visit you during his one-day weekend, talks to you online and happens to be impressive as to graduate from a good university as well as a gentleman, seems more for concern. We know that your struggling with the distance that you have with your boyfriend and those that are really close by like that colleague of yours gets your empty feeling away. Still, you should try to be honest to yourself as well as to thsoe that are concerned. Tell your boyfriend about how difficult it is for you to bare the distance and how little that one-day weekend visit of his for you alleviates your loneliness. See if that honest feeling towards each other is the cause that makes you feel that something is missing between the two of you. Being honest would at least make the trouble bearable as well as know your boyfriend's point of view about it. It would be completely unfair if he keeps on trying while his efforts were already futile while you grow out of the relationship that you two had due to the distance caused by choices of each person. Well, that's just my opinion and situationas are always different as time goes by.

If you have a doubt then I think it's better not to continue for deeper road. But if you trust it's gonna work, then go for it. Trust me, manifesting -or- have it done, were two different decision making. Yes, I understand, sometimes it's hard to make decision in life. But if we didn't decide now, later we, yet, have to decide it. Just follow your heart, my dear.

Very simple, the love between u and him is missing.. All along, u only think thta u love him, but actually it's not.. Looks like he is the one putting lots of effort in this relationship, but not u.. INstead, u are feeling guilty, and u feel lost.. But your bf doesn't know what u have done.. Thus, the better he treats u, the worse u feel.. SO right now, u have to sort yourself out, and make up your mind over things..

give it some time w/t bf. u have just gotten carried away w/this infatuation w/this marrued guy. let it go. wait till the bf comes back & see how u feel if the feelings not there when he gets back let it go to. you'll find the right one!!

6 months is not a very long time, especially if you have spent a substantial amount of time apart. If this was the right relationship, you would feel at peace about it. If not, then maybe you just need to give it more time.

If you are so fond of your married colleague then please cut off relationship with your boyfriend.In your language your colleague is very nice and love you. You are tried but could not avoid her.In this situation you clear your codition to your boyfriend. Frankly say to him about your feelings regarding your colleague.I think your boyfriend will realise the hole things. You will also get free from your hesitation.Broken love can't be rejoined.Thank you.