What will you do if your spouse commits a crime?
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
India
November 26, 2008 8:26am CST
Today I heard about a murder. The news had appeared in the local newspapers, and my Mom told me about it.
A young man murdered his mother-in-law after a verbal fight. It seems the son-in-law never got along with his mother-in-law. What was the in-law doing there? Well, she was in the habit of visiting her daughter. The lady was murdered in the absence of the daughter. She was strangled to death, and later, her head was cut off and the corpse carefully hidden. The murderer then joined in the search for the "missing" mother-in-law till he was caught.
My first thoughts were for the wife. What a shock this must be for her! She lost her mother, and her husband turned out to be a murderer! What must she be feeling? How would she handle this?
What would you do if you were in her place? I tried putting myself in her place and really did not know what to do, except maybe cry.
Cheers and happy mylotting
1 person likes this
13 responses
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
27 Nov 08
Oh my gosh!! That sure sounds really religious!! LOL!!! I guess there was no need for the husband to stick to his marital vows by honoring his wife, which includes protecting her and being kind to her family???
Cheers and thanks for your response.
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@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
27 Nov 08
As much as I love my husband, I would probably ask my husband to just surrender himself to the police and accept the punishment for his crime. The reason behind the crime is not longer relevant, the fact remains that he was able to take the life of a human being and given a similar situation he might be able to do that again.
@oldboy46 (2129)
• Australia
27 Nov 08
If he didn't surrender to the police when you asked him, would you report him and/or his whereabouts to them? By his actions this man showed that he is vicious and as you say he could very well do the same again.
Personally I could not imagine any person, make or female, who would want to have anything to do with the person who murdered one of their parents. The sad thing is that this poor woman will only hear her husband's version of what really happened that day because her mother can no longer tell her side of the story. You can be sure that the murder's solicitor will try to paint a picture of a poor husband driven to despair by an "evil miother-in-law".
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@winterose (39887)
• Canada
26 Nov 08
that is a very horrible situation and I don't know what I would do, I would have a double grief to deal with, the loss of my mother and to know my husband was a murderer, I certainly would keep him away from my children, and get protection for my self and family maybe even move away so he would never find us again.
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@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
27 Nov 08
Getting protection for self and family is indeed a very sensible thing to do.
@DaddyOfTheRose (2934)
• United States
4 Dec 08
Hrm.. in a case such as this, I would have to turn my spouse over to the authorities. I mean, I might love her but that is hideous.
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@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
3 Dec 08
This is a very sad incident. Neither I, felt really hard to deal with this situation.
I should say that mother in laws should not be so mean with their in-laws as long as their daughters are not maltreated by their husbands, why make a scene? when sons or daughters are already married, they already have their own lives. I would say that the son in-law can no longer handle the ill treatment of his mother in-law. A lesson for mothers. I just wonder how irresponsible that husband to make his mother in-law so against him? This situation is unbearable for the wife.
@efarmer (184)
•
26 Nov 08
Oh that is so sad. It is tragic that such things happen to people. Well if I would be in that woman's place then maybe I would forgive my husband. I know that sounds farcical but the thing is that I already lost my mother and now I have my husband only so I wouldnt want to lose him too. Maybe I wouldnt do like that in real life or maybe I would. I am not sure. But to think of it I am in the habit of forgiving my husband a lot so maybe I would get the heart to do it. afterall I wouldnt want to lose him
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@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
27 Nov 08
I wonder if it is possible to forgive a murderer, especially when he murders one you love, but your thought is good. :)
Thanks for the response.
@4mymak (1793)
• Malaysia
27 Nov 08
this is really sad, horrifying news..
this isnt just a simple crime... that guy killed his wife's mom.. even worse - beheaded her.. that was plain cruel.. evil! 
i luv my mom very much.. and it would be totally unacceptable if my husband tries to hurt her physically or verbally - and vice-versa, i also cannot stand it if my mom tries to hurt my husband.
..i dont know how i would react if my husband kills my mom.. one thing for sure is that i will report it - i will not cover for him.. and most probably.. i'll get a divorce and live as far away from him as possible.
.. the same thing goes if my mom kills my hubby...
i luv my mom very much.. and it would be totally unacceptable if my husband tries to hurt her physically or verbally - and vice-versa, i also cannot stand it if my mom tries to hurt my husband.
..i dont know how i would react if my husband kills my mom.. one thing for sure is that i will report it - i will not cover for him.. and most probably.. i'll get a divorce and live as far away from him as possible.
.. the same thing goes if my mom kills my hubby... 1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
26 Nov 08
First, I'd be totally stunned. My hubby is just not the type. My life would totally change. he is the pillar of our little family. I'd cry and be lost. I can't and don't even want to imagine it.
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@cbreeze (1205)
• United States
26 Nov 08
I can't imagine doing anything but being filled with hatred for him. I think I would need years of counseling behind something like that. I would feel partially responsible because had I not invited this man into my life, my mother would not have been murdered by him.
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@savypat (20216)
• United States
26 Nov 08
I always try to give the benefit of the doubt in these cases, but I really don't know what I would do. I would become afraid of him, yet I would want to get him the best lawyer I could. But then what would I do if he got out of jail. I would never be able to face him without seeing my Mom.
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
27 Nov 08
of course he must be put to jail and investigate and gave the murderer a fair trial.On my part, if i will be the wife, i will be mad and curse my husband..
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
26 Nov 08
If that happened to me I would leave my husband. He would be a constant reminder of the things that happened, and in order to cope with the loss of my mother I would have stay away from him. I would be afraid of my husband if I found out that he had done something like that. He might end up doing something similar to me and I wouldn't be able to trust him any longer. I can forgive a lot of things, but forgiving him for killing my mother? I think that would be too much of a challenge for me.
1 person likes this
@shefalis (81)
• India
26 Nov 08
A crime committed that too of such a grave degree is a crime. It shows the persos temperament and sad also that after staying with a person one could not understand that side of it. Everyoe does not have the guts to commit a crime. Dependig on circumstances...yes if it is the question of ones survival then maybe. It has nothing to do with the in laws bit. if it had am sure then more women wud be committing such crimes as they are the ones who are grinded by the mother in law specially after marriage and has to go thru a lot of mental trauma. It is a persons personality. If in her place i would never forgive the person irrespective of anything. Crime is a crime. M sure there could be another way to handle the situation. But its really sad when such things happen. Leaves a bitter feeling even for the people who read and get to know about it.
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