is being childless affects the relationship of husband and wife?

Philippines
November 26, 2008 11:03pm CST
I've been married for almost 3 years now, but we don't have kids yet, we're both eager to have one very soon. even if we keep on trying, a lot of trials are coming in. like i had 2 miscarriages and it was too painful for us because as i said we really wanted to have a baby. and my OBgyne told me that in my situation right now it will be hard for me to get pregnant. right now i can say that our relationship is going smoothly but i'm scared, what if my husband changed because i can't give him what he want, and that is to have a child. what do you think guys, is being childless affects the relationship of husband and wife? but I'm still hoping and praying that god will blessed us with a child.
9 responses
@augustm (23)
• Belize
2 Dec 08
There are adoptions And even so if your husband really loves you, then he will stick with you.
• Philippines
2 Dec 08
i agree with you. thanks for responding.
• United States
28 Nov 08
I think being childless could potentially affect an marriage if a child is something you both truly want and are eager for. What if you consider adoption if you cannot have kids? Would you husband be open to that? A child doesn't just have to be biological for you will love that adopted baby just as much. Don't let is strain you right now that you don't have kids and just keep trying :) GOod luck bellebads!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
thank your for that encouraging words. yes i have thought about adopting a child but i haven't ask my husband about it yet, i think he will also consider it. but i'm still hoping and praying to have my own child. thanks for responding.
• Canada
28 Nov 08
I think as long as he tuly loves you than you will be fine. If worse comes to worse and you cannot concieve,than adoption is a great alternative as previously put,also there is surrogate mothers if thats something that intrests you.Give it time,sometimes that is all we need,don't think about it and if it's right it will happen for you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
yeah you're right, i will just take my time, god only knows whats best for me.
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
I think it would still depend on the two of you. I feel that none of you should be blamed if for some reason you still do not have a child. Sometimes situations like these cause couples to be more closer to each other, to hold on to each other for strenght to go on. Other times, there could be resentment that causes them to push each other away. Its still all about how you communicate and how you choose to react to the situation. You may also consider the possibility of adopting, some studies say that once a couple adopts a child, they end up eventually have their own too. Still if ever you don't, at least you have a child who will look up to you both as his/her parents and whom you can give the same unconditional love as you would give your own child.
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
everything you said is true, i feel better now having read all the response from all of you. i will just let the lord decide for me. i kow he knows best. thank you for responding.
@missybear (11391)
• United States
27 Nov 08
I guess that would depend on how much he really loves you. I never had children for some reason i guess i can't have any. I'm in a happy relation ship and i was married before. We got divorced but not because i couldn't have kids.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
thanks for sharing your thoughts about this discussion. congratulations for a happy relationship. good luck.
• India
28 Nov 08
ya god is there he is going to fulfill your desire of having a child in your lap.no don't be childless it will affect the relationship.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
thanks for the advice i'll keep that in mind. thanks for responding.
• New Zealand
27 Nov 08
Trying for a baby is fun and as long as you keep trying thn I think that you hubby will continue loving you. and just because you are unable to give birth to a baby doesn't mean that you just cannot have a child. There are lots of other options available. What I would suggest is adopting. Personally i think that adoping is the best think. The world already has lots of starving shildren as it is why why not adopt a couple of them and treat them like your very owm children. That way not only will you get gods blessing, you will also get the adoptive children and their families blessings as well. And who knows, maybe with all that blessing you just might end up have your own babies. I wish you good luck
• Philippines
27 Nov 08
thank you so much for your suggestion, if happens that god will not blessed us with our child i think i will consider adopting. thanks for responding.
@mylt08 (54)
• China
27 Nov 08
Please don't loss your hope, God will send you what you will have at the proper time. No children will affect the feeling between the couples if both of them are eager to have child, but think of the DINKs, they don't want so eagerly, so they are happy to have no kids, maybe they decide to have babies at later time. I have a college classmate, she had not get a child after got married for 5 years, she and her husband were eager to have a kid, they tried a lot of ways without any result. In the 6th year, she got pregnant and delivered a beautiful girl. What I try to tell you is to be patient, do not try to make child on purpose, let the life go as lightly as possible, when the right time comes, your kids will come to you in group. Best wishes!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
thank you so much for that wonderful story and for the advice. i will keep on praying until god will hear all my prayers. thanks for responding.
@itsmine (104)
• United States
6 Feb 09
No. I saw a lot of couples whoever is not having kids, still they are having good relationship between them. They are treating each other as their child. By god's grace you will get a child very soon. God bless you.