Are you good about understanding other peoples money problems
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
United States
November 29, 2008 12:49am CST
ive always been poor so its nothing new to me but this economy has made it even worse!! yet i still find a lot of people that just dont get that other people are having it bad.. they arent even usually doing great themselves but its like they dont understand why people dont just go out and buy or replace whatever etc.. those people drive me NUTS!
i try to never assume some one has the money to do things and if i do suggest things i try to ad that "ya know if you have them money you could do this.. or you could do this instead if you dont" type thing but some people are just like WHY NOT!? you say "i dont have the money" and then these people are like "it doesnt cost MUCH"!! um to some people a dollar is way too much in these days and times..
i would think that with more people hurting money wise people wouldnt question people that cant afford to do whatever and would just understand and let it go.. are there that many people in denial? maybe they dont want to admit they cant afford what they themselves are doing and to see others not being able to afford things makes them realize they shouldnt either??
just a thought i have been thinking..
4 people like this
14 responses
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
29 Nov 08
I think I am because I was born into a middle class family. We are not rich, we just have enough to get by every day. but my homeland is a poor country where there is not enough opportunity for so many people. I am just one of the few lucky ones to be able to immigrate here. But a part of me is still the same. I am picky when buying things, I always do shop to shop comparison if I could. I am not ashamed of saying I don't have the money to buy something, I said that even when I still worked full time and brought home good money. Because I don't want to live with extravagance if it means living with debts. So if someone says they don't have the money, I won't be making them feel bad or unlucky about being poor. I get that treatment all the time and I believe wheel of fortune goes around so one day my time will come and I will laugh back at those who laugh at me now.
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
30 Nov 08
i think even when people do have the money its stupid to not bargain shop when possible.. i mean its only smart right?? more money in ya pocket..
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
29 Nov 08
great topic! i totally agree with you. we were struggling money wise way before this economic climate so i know what you mean when people just don't get that your broke. i have a group of friends that meet for coffee once per week at borders and then once a month for dinner. i went to a few of the dinners over the last 3 years but mostly i don't go because we cannot afford it. there are times i do not even have extra money for a cup of coffee. but some of them just do not get it. they think when i say we are broke or i cannot afford it that it really is not that bad but if they only knew. i do not feel the need to explain myself to them anymore. some of them think that i am exaggerating but unfortunately it is very true that we are hurting. my really good friends understand and offer to help with what they can.
2 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
29 Nov 08
i hate it when people tell me i have a bad diet because i eat cheap food or a lot of pasta etc because its cheap.. i wanna say "well if you are obsessed with my eating habits being better then you can pay for the organic and etc because i cant!!"
@oldboy46 (2129)
• Australia
30 Nov 08
Ever since my partner and I have been together we have not had much, if any, money to spare so we do watch what we spend it on. If there is something major coming up we have to have enough earning so we can budget a bit tighter and save. If we don't get advance warning then we find it hard to manage.
Example one of our children got engaged a few years ago, so we started saving for the wedding immediately. To help with the money my partner got a part time job whils still trying to run our small farm at the same time. We told my stepdaughter how much we would contribute towards the cost and they had to find the rest if they went over that amount. As soon as we had the amount saved, we started another bank account as we knew more wedding would be coming up in the future.
The first wedding, they went over budget and by then one of my daughterswas engaged as well. So we told her how much she could have and refused to budge on the amount we were giving the first couple. My daughter tells us where her reception is and then gets all upset because according to her we aren't giving her enough money to cover it!
My partner's brother says "we are buying this for Mum for Christmas (or whatever) from the family and your share is $XX". Sorry, we cannot afford that gets the response "well you don't care too much about her welfare". Hang on there, she was living in our home for months prior to surgery because there was a lot she could not do, nor was she safe living alone.
I am wondering what part of the words "we cannot afford that", some people do not understand. When will they realise that money does not grow on trees? Or if it does, can someone tell me where I can buy one .... or a few hundred of them. lol
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
1 Dec 08
ugh that reminds me of a time when a family member "decided" to get my dad an expensive gift and that we owed X amount of money which i didnt have but scraped together anyways and then it turns out it was wrong and my cut was higher because he didnt get a good deal and im like uhh you have to be KIDDING?!?!?
my dad i dont think has used the present 1 time in the 5 years of having it..
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
29 Nov 08
what amazes me is when people grew up poor but still have no concept of it in their minds because they keep living like they arent
@goldeneagle (6745)
• United States
29 Nov 08
I am good at giving other people financial advice. I can even look at some people's checkbooks and find where they have made their mistakes. I could probably even solve some of my own problems if I could get a break. It just kind-of puzzles me that I can usually tell other people how to solve their problems, both financially and otherwise, but I can't seem to solve my own problems...
2 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
29 Nov 08
yeah it always seems like that is how it is lol.. i am good at helping people with money but i never have any lol.. but i guess i would be a lot worse if i didnt pay attention to my own advice so.. lol
1 person likes this
@ArmyBride309 (66)
• United States
29 Nov 08
Ugh! I'm the same way! I got laid off 2 1/2 weeks ago for the third time in less than a year. True i'm getting unemployment, but it doesn't help a whole lot. Well then tonight one of my friends texts me and asks me to come out with them to see a band at a local bar with a $10 cover. I say I can't come because I don't have the money. I get a text back that I should think about it because it would be fun and if I didn't have anything else to do then I should come. I was like... I don't have the money but I wish I could. i get one back saying well think about it.
Ummmm HELLO... didn't I just say I COULDN'T because I DON'T have any MONEY! Seriously!! I wish people would just understand that I CAN'T just go running to mommy and daddy anytime I need money. This person texting me just got married this past June and her mom still pays for some of her bills! And then a few months ago she called her mom to give her some spending money because she was taking a trip to the beach with her friends. If I don't have spending money to go on a trip, free or not, I'm not going to just call up my parents to give me money. My parents would laugh at me.
Man i could go on and on about this. I have friends who just don't care about money and feel like they can just go to their parents if they need money, even when they are married! I wish it was that easy!!
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
29 Nov 08
yeah i have never been one to ask for money so if i cant make it on my own then im just not gonna make it and it will be my own fault.. some people seem to never have to worry about it because every one bails them out and i dont see why their families keep doing it!! they never will learn like that
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
30 Nov 08
yeah thats true.. i think i know of some one trying to pull that right now but i cant prove it and it makes me sick when people do that.. especially when they are trying to get you to bail them out and you know you have less than they prob do.. so irritating!!
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
1 Dec 08
ha ha ha ha ha... some people just assume that everyone is at the financial stability state that they are in. No one would have assume otherwise.
SO when you claim it is too expensive, they would be going like huh?
It never crossed their minds that it really is not affordable to some eventhough it is cheap.
Let it go and just consider them as ignorant.
No point fretting about such people. They will never understand your plight. Neither do they want to make that effor to.
No use wasting precious energy getting angry over bigots. Life is too short to do that!
@relundad (2310)
• United States
2 Dec 08
As it is common for some people to have, its just as common for some to have always had. To make a suggestion or offer an opinion is in no way an indicator that the person knows your financial status but probally more of just conversation.
Sometimes when its people that you know you assume that they know what your financial status is, but the truth of the matter is rich doesn't always look like rich and poor doesn't always look like poor. I will give you an example, people are on here sometimes talking about they can barely put meals on the table, or get their kid a toy for Christmas. In other discussions they talk about their cable and cell phone bills, cable on demand etc. Well one could easily assume that since you have the luxuries of cable,internet,computer and cell phones that maybe your situation isn't as bad as you say, but that you have made certain choices. (YOU being used in general terms not specific to moonlit)
I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but the difference between me and the majority of the people that I know is what we did with the money that we had. And the fact that I decided early in life that I did not want to live the life that so far I had been afforded. And by no means would I consider my family poor. They were average middle class. But for me I wanted different so I strived for different.
1 person likes this
@katemeow (847)
• Singapore
30 Nov 08
I am very good at understanding others because I am having money problems as well. I am a freelancer and sometimes do not have a steady source of income. I just lost a regular client because their business went under and that loss is really affecting my lifestyle! Luckily, i am very thrifty and try to live with what I have. I have the bills sorted out and all but I just wish that I could save more money instead of living a pay check to pay check life :(
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
30 Nov 08
i know we were on paycheck to paycheck but we had a good savings but crap happens and we have had to use our savings and its just killing me because it took me so long to save it to begin with!
@wanderer086 (759)
•
29 Nov 08
I have never had a lot of money so I have never had a buffer when times have been hard. A lot of people do not seem to understand that. If they have been in high paid jobs and have managed to save they have some money to back them up when there is trouble. What they do not seem to realise is that mpney will run out sometime and they will be in the same possition as the poor.
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
30 Nov 08
ugh tell me about it! i finally had a good saving account balance and then all hell broke loose and im seeing it dwindle and its making me ill!!
@MizzLadyB08 (1174)
• United States
30 Nov 08
I am good about understanding it because at the moment I do not have much myself and to know that there are people out here struggling just as hard as I am is just bad. You got people out here that put on a front like that they got it all when in reality they do not and is ashame to say that they are struggling. I am not proud of my situation but like you said times are hard.
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
30 Nov 08
at least we all know we arent alone where as in the past a lot of people felt like they were
@gbemoo4tyy (59)
• Nigeria
29 Nov 08
well ! it is necessary for one to sayhe or she can afford wat can not be affordable by him. to me the economy is bad but we just have to keep struggling. if u can not afford something today work hard and pray all will be well.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
30 Nov 08
If people haven't had to struggle or want for anything..it's hard for them to appriciate it the way the way someone who has had to does. It may seem like there are some that don't understand but I guarantee you in this economy...more than not do. Sometimes people exibit a pride that seems cold but in actuality they do understand. They just want to seem better off. Then again there are some people that don't realize how bad off they are until it's to late. Heads up Magik. Your not alone.
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
30 Nov 08
i know thats the worst is when you think your doing ok or at least getting by then you do a budget and you realize you have been either fooling yourself or really misjudged the numbers.. a couple of years ago all my bills changed when i moved and bought a house and i didnt stay on top of everything as far as planning out my bills and budget.. everything was being paid but i realized i wasnt doing good at all.. we were sinking fast and i had to stop and totally change everything and it was horrible and scary