Are you the same person Online as you are in real life?
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
Canada
November 29, 2008 11:09am CST
I have heard this many times where people feel that the internet gives them more confidence then they have in real life. It gives them the chance to be who they want to and be able to say what they never thought they'd say to an individual in real life. ME personally I am the same opinionated red head online as I am in real life. But I can see how the internet would become a means to basically make the invisible individuals superheros. You can be whoever you want to be and no one would really know the difference. You can talk differently even possibly be mean. I know my little sister uses it as a means to be a different person and feel good about who she is and how others accept her for who she is instead of beat up on her. (I don't live with her otherwise this beating up wouldn't happen) I find it sad though that people aren't able to be the person they wish to be and have to do it online.
So my question to you is. Are you the same person Online as you are in real life? Your tendencies the way you talk and address issues. Not only that but are you really who you say you are?
8 people like this
55 responses
@smartie0317 (1610)
• United States
29 Nov 08
I just wanted to say, I think this is a good and interesting question. However, I doubt fakers, even if they don't lie on here, are going to come clean and say they've told lies online. That said, I've always been honest about myself online. I've done things and been places, most people would not believe possible for a person my age, 21. So, I've stopped talking about those events, because it only lead to disbelief or jealousy. I also don't give out my first name or email anymore, because it was used against me. I also never give out my last name online. I feel my opinions stay the same and I am truthful online. I'm just a little more clearer sometimes.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
29 Nov 08
Well I appreciate your honesty. I use my pen name that I made up a few years ago while online :) It's not to say that I fake anything just my name because you never know who's out there right. I also don't like it when people can search your name and come up with everything you've ever done online under that name. It disturbs me and I like to keep my online life personal as there are somethings I share with my fellow onliners that I wouldn't want to share with anyone I dislike or don't want in my life. So with that being said I guess I am a bit different online. I treat everyone around me online like they were my friend. Where as in real life i'm less trusting. Hmm odd :) just realized that right now. I love epiphanies hahah.
So essentially I agree with everything you've said and am glad you have been able to experience so much at such a young age (well if it's bad then I take it back) but you get the jist. I'm 22 :)
@smartie0317 (1610)
• United States
29 Nov 08
No problems. :) You're just being smart by not giving out your name. The things in my life have been mainly good. You know, it wouldn;t be life without some bad. ;) hehe I'm not the type to tell my woes, unless I'm really good friends with someone or feel someone truly wants to know. So, I'm more inclined to talk about the good things. Like if someone is talking about something, and I've done, I join in. It just seems when I share my experiences, people tend to get jealous. So, I there's certain things I keep quiet about.
@Paula1966 (1102)
• United States
30 Nov 08
I try to be who I am, although I may actually be more reserved online surprisingly. I get ragged on at work for having too many multisyllabic words in my vocabulary, so I probably edit them out a little bit more when I am typing so people won't think I'm too weird. :p When I am speaking, though, sometimes the mouth engages before the brain does, and all that stuff comes rushing out, LOL.
What strikes me about the internet is that sometimes people seem to think they can act more like jerks and not get caught or have liability... the people they interact with don't have the same "realness" as people they are face-to-face with. THAT's the personality shifts that get to me.
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
30 Nov 08
[b]I had problems as a child in rural Louisiana because I'd been home-schooled before hitting 1st grade (at 5 & 1/2), & had always been around adults. So I know how it is to have those who don't use multisyllabic (Ha! Not even MyBot likes THAT word!) words look askance when one does so.
Whenever I was accused of being snooty, I'd retort, "What, you don't use 5-letter words? Not even 'refrigerator?'" & smile wickedly.... (I could be sooo snarky then!) (Come to think of it, I still don't suffer fools gladly) 
But I don't "dumb it down." I'm of the school of thought that says one should expect others to rise to the occasion, else how will they ever learn?
I know I can sound a bit stiff sometimes, but I also know when to break the rules. I have that right, since I know them.
That said, I make exceptions for non-native English users & very small children.
I'm also fluent in Cat & Kitten...though Dog is still an alien tongue to me. Mandarin Chinese is easier, sheh sheh! 
Maggiepie[/b]
But I don't "dumb it down." I'm of the school of thought that says one should expect others to rise to the occasion, else how will they ever learn?
I know I can sound a bit stiff sometimes, but I also know when to break the rules. I have that right, since I know them.
That said, I make exceptions for non-native English users & very small children.
I'm also fluent in Cat & Kitten...though Dog is still an alien tongue to me. Mandarin Chinese is easier, sheh sheh!
Maggiepie[/b]@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
30 Nov 08
[b]WOOPS! TYPO ALERT! DIVE! DIVE!!
That was supposed to have been five-SYLLABLE words, not 5-LETTER!
Agh....
Maggiepie[/b] 
@amitavroy (4819)
• India
29 Nov 08
Well I'd think I got exactly what he wanted to ask. And I would also like to say that it is very difficult to judge in that manner. But yet I will try. I think I am a bit same in reality the way I am online. Yes there are few freedoms which I do enjoy online is not feasible in reality but he is apart from that I think I am very much the same when it comes to behaviour, attitude and work. You won't find the difference in me when I am online and if you see me in reality. But yes your question is very cute and I would say that even I have experienced such things on Internet. People here will have a different personality to put the in the real-life.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
29 Nov 08
I consider the internet to be some sort of mask for certain individuals. However it's nice to see that soo many people remin themselves and to their true character.
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
30 Nov 08
Oh yes I am the same person all the time. I do not hide behind images or anything like that and I speak as I feel about any topic. I feel good about myself and lots of self confidence so I do not have to hide behind an image.
People who want to be someone else may want to be like that in real life but are too scared. Your sister sounds likes she needs to gain some confidence in herself. Especially if she can be like that online but not in reality.
@owelm0408 (1011)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
For me, it would be difficult to pretend to be someone I am not, even on my interactions with communities online.I express my views and opinion same way as I express myself in real world.Even though I'm not speaking literally but my mind speaks as I am, and write it down. Sometimes, I get upset, get mad, in variety of moods in both on real world or on cyber world (internet)also.
1 person likes this
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
1 Dec 08
I tend to be pretty much the same online. I'm just as "in your face" in person as I can be here. The only thing I would say about online in the context of your question is that, because it allows me to interact in the abstract, in a way, my introversion is mitigated and I can be warmer here than in casual off-line meetings.
As for honesty, I am in the kinky scene, and a great part of my "success" in that scene on-line over the ten years I have been involved is that I tell it exactly as it is - no lies, no exaggerations - for the simple reason lies and exaggerations are found out immediately in real life. Honesty is simply the best policy, regardless of any moral issues.
Lash
1 person likes this
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
1 Dec 08
I do tend to agree with you that honesty is essentially the best policy. I think t one time or another each of us is guilty be it in the real world or in the virtual world of exaggerating things. I did when I was younger (say I would bump my age up a year. Or in the times where online pictures weren't readily available I'd say I had blond hair and was taller than I was :) haha. I'm what I like to call vertically challenged :)
@tutul0045 (2630)
• India
29 Nov 08
Hi there,
Actually its very difficult question to answer. I think iam the same perosn most of the time, but u know we all have differant persoanlities inside us.
Right now iam very angry with what happened in my locality for last few days. Iam very angry with my government, but otherwise iam a very calm person.
Its really that time when we all should join hands and erradicate terrorism from this world.
Cheers,
Tutul
@tutul0045 (2630)
• India
29 Nov 08
Right now everyone is angry. We leave our house with no gauarantee whether we are going to return or not. We are not free in out own country after paying so much tax. This things has to end. If this time we dont do anything, then we are not going to make it anytime in hte future as well.
Lets fight corruption, terrorism together and lets finish it off once and for all.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
29 Nov 08
too true about the terrorism. terribly sorry that you are feeling such anger towards your government at the time. But it is warranted. Do you find that anger you have often affects how you are around others. Not just online but in real life?
@musicman6 (2407)
• United States
1 Dec 08
I don't like to mislead, nor put people on, in real life, nor on the internet!
I am the same person online, as I am in real life! You can ask anybody that knows me and they'll tell you the same thing!
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
1 Dec 08
Thank you Musicman. I guess what I was expecting was to get more users who said they aren't really who they say they are. Why do I think that I don't really know but I'm being proven wrong as the responses come in. Then again I think to myself if your a faker of this site are you really going to admit it. Oh the irony :)
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
29 Nov 08
Hey as long as you like who you are and the person you've become what others say doesn't matter right
@jstmarfz (1498)
• United States
30 Nov 08
Absolutely. That's what my true friends tell me. In fact, they say that people gets annoyed with me with me are just jealous. Which sometimes I agreed because those people who loves to say nonsense against me are the people whom I never talk to that much. The truth was we don't knew about each other.
@katemeow (847)
• Singapore
30 Nov 08
this is a very good question to ask because I have been thinking about my online life a lot lately. I am very active in forums and in blogging... I think this compensates for me being really shy in person :) but this does not mean that i totally changed my identity online. basically it's still me - only more sociable and talkative :P
@shiloh_222 (5479)
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
hi there. i understand about that. because being online, typing is similar to writing it down. we can get out the words easily as compared to speaking it out. It is way way easier that people won't see you do both... right? happy mylotting.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
30 Nov 08
I think the internet allows for that shyness to 'evaporate' so to speak. It takes down all the social walls and leaves just words. No body language (which we know influences 90% of a conversation) and no facial expressions as well as tone. Some times tone can be a hindrance because it's hard to get emotions across in just words alone. Glad to hear you've come out of your shell. My question to you is do you find that it has allowed you to have a bit more confidence /less shy in real life?
@umart13 (841)
• Ireland
30 Nov 08
Hi AmandaBarnhart, and what a great question! I haven't heard it before on MyLot. I imagine that a lot of people use the internet to communicate with the outside world, because they feel that they are social outcasts or have a low sense of self esteeem. For this reason I think than it is a fantastic medium. There are those as well who develop a somewhat schizophrenic-type of second personality, who is more confident than their real self. So long as this is not abusive or misleading then that's interesting too. As for myself, well I try to be the same person online as I am in real life. However, I have good and bad days like everybody else and there are always phases when I can express myself better in writing than verbally and vice versa. I would also add that if isolate yourself from the world and are just online then your real-life personality could become more distant from your real-life self, but skype and web-cams are making the online experience more "real" too.
Have a great weekend. Umart
@umart13 (841)
• Ireland
30 Nov 08
Yes I think you are right. It helps people forget their own insecurities and then they can really focus on what the other person is saying. A few years ago I would have not thought it possible to get close to others online, but for me this is now becoming a live experience... See you!
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
30 Nov 08
Hello to you too :) many thanks for your compliments.
What I think is interesting to realize I guess is do you think that with the internet it actually allows the person to reinvent themselves in a way that it actually transpires over to their real life. So no longer are they really being fake but the internet helped rid them of their insecurities?
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
29 Nov 08
I do not believe in putting on a face, so to speak, for anyone, or for any reason. Therefore, I am the same on-line as I am in person. Those that do show a different face, in my opinion, are not comfortable with who they are, and feel they need to be someone or something else to please others.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
29 Nov 08
I think those who are fake do so so that they can feel what it's like to be apart of a different life so to speak. So they can see others reactions to the person they may want to be. So instead of doing to people they see everyday some will do it to others they will never have to speak with again.
@EAStanley (2688)
• United States
29 Nov 08
Ditto. I also get out of my shell more quickly here. It is much easier in writing than it is in talking. I am too shy in real life. It is easy to come online and say (write) how I really feel. :)
@momtrying2makeit (3270)
• United States
29 Nov 08
I think that some people will change what they think, but someones true colors will come up eventually. At least this is what I think.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
29 Nov 08
I have to agree with this statement as well. I think it may be because you don't' have to see peoples 'facial' reactions to how you are etc. Then you don't' feel so shy for being who you are.
@lilisor (205)
• Hungary
2 Dec 08
Yes, online I'm the same person I am offline. Probably everyone of us has an idol, someone who we'd want to be. Maybe some people find online that they can be who they want to be because under a nick nobody knows you're very skinny,small and shy.
Some people are really not happy to whom they are and thus try to impersonate their idol, thinking that this way they'll get rid of their miserable person.
All I know is that I'm very much happy with who I am and have no reason to pretend I'm somebody else :) In the end, why would I need a reason because I'm still a stranger for everybody online?! :P
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
2 Dec 08
Thank you for your input that was a delight to read truly. I think that everyone has someone that 'want' to be. But I feel that is always attainable with a little bit of drive :)
@Verity (851)
•
30 Nov 08
Hi, nice discussion. Me? What I am in real life is also the same online. I would never let myself goes under the pretext of incognito to impress or malign others as I do not really appreciate false pretenses. I have my stand and that stand always prevail it may be online or in real life.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
30 Nov 08
The main thing that I find sucks though is that you really don't know that your being put under those false pretenses from those individuals who are fakers.
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
30 Nov 08
Online I'm more direct and straight to the point. In person, I'm more reserved and quiet. Online I don't have to put on heirs. I'm not rude or cruel, I'm more tactful and articulate in the way I come across. But I don't allow my point to be misunderstood or misconstrued in any shape or fashion. In person, I'm more stand offish and keep to myself, introverted. The online arena is more like the avenue I can be myself without having real faces to look at and judge or ridicule me.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
1 Dec 08
So you'd almost explain the internet of being a different person (a little bit) I mean this in terms of you say your an introvert yet when you speak of how you are online it reminds me of an extrovert. Interesting way of looking at it.
@Grace030174 (741)
• Qatar
30 Nov 08
hi there
this is difficult question.
I am the same person most of the time.
I share my feelings to the person whom im talking at that time,
so i dont pretend
Happy lotting!
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
30 Nov 08
When you say most of the time do you mean some times you find yourself saying things you may otherwise not say in real life?
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
30 Nov 08
Really. Wow I'd figure it would be the opposite way. We tend as human beings to really respond to verbal tone. When there is none it tends to allow us to keep going on the path we were. Kudos to you though, I think the reason why you may hold back because it's natural to be polite and nice to people we don't know and circumstances we don't quite understand because naturally we're not them.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
1 Dec 08
When I was younger (back in high school)I use to play about who I was. Wow, it's been almost 9yrs! I feel old! Anyways, now I am who I am online or offline. A site like this there is really no reason to be who we are not.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
1 Dec 08
I think when we're younger it gives us that feeling of being someone where not like 10 years older etc just to see how people respond to them. Personally I can usually spot an underaged (adult faker) It's all in how they talk and carry themselves. :) Thanks for responding. Such a cut picture as well :)
@employmentdep (126)
• United States
30 Nov 08
Hi my name is oscar, I think most people are not the same when they´re online.
They feel the need to lie about theirselves, that´s why it is important to prevent yourself from saying any personal information.
I mean, by means of this people try to steal lifes, so be carefully. see you later.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
30 Nov 08
I think this is something that many are aware of yet not enough individuals follow this rule of no personal information. Mainly I see it will younger adults as well as senior citizens. (mostly because of lack of knowledge of just how powerful the internet is). With the younger individuals it's often because they seek that attention so they are very trustworthy and put their personal information. Alot of the times this is so with Myspace. Facebook is a little better because of security reasons but still.
