Adoption saga continues – It is a question of time

Hi ronaldinu, I feel sorry for the lady as she has no heart and she should never have been allowed to adopt the little girl, as I have no kids, and if they give me that little girl I would love her to the end of my days, the poor little girl, I hope she will be adopted my someone who will love her just being her, its terrible to be rejected because you have disablities, its so sad. Tamara

So I see you didn't take my advice and go ahead and choke her! LOL This woman has some serious issues. I've not understood fromthe start of this the whole "changing her mind, being tricked" theory but I cannot figure out the social worker not reporting this to the adoption agency. As you know my story (the condensed version! LOL) I am in the process of adopting Jamie. We have full cusody of him and we go to court January 5 to finalize everything. I am visited by the social worker every two weeks and so is my other sister which is adopting the other twin. (Told you it was a long story! LOL) We both joke about how we feel like we have been interrogated every time she visits! LOL I know they have a job to do and in our case there is some resistance from theactual birth mother which constitutes more social worker visits but honestly I don't see why this one doesn't just simply report it to the adoption agency. I mean how is tis child going to progress with that kind of attitude in the house. She better be careful because she may find herself "tricked" again when they file child neglect charges on her. BTW...I enrolled Jamie in preschool 2 days a week and he is progressing very well. He has a long way to go but we can definatley see progress!

Is it just me that thinks more time with this woman is detremental to the childs developement? I think she is so set in her mind that she was tricked and that she can not bond with this child that she needs to go ahead and let someone take this lovely child and let them form a bond together. Instead she is being allowed to spend mor etime with this poor child and it's not good for her to be with someone that doesn't want to be with her. She will get over being sent to someone that will love her unconditionally than being with a woman that has no feelings for her. Love and caring goes a long way with children so does acceptance. The child will be better to be with someone that will love her and accept her. Her life will flurish and prosper from a loveing and caring experience with someone else. Time is not what this child has. She neds love to develope properly.

That makes me want to cry, my grandson was born tongue-tied and he couldn't speak properly til know and still sometimes it is hard to understand him, yet we all love him to bits. When a baby is born there is no way anyone can tell if there is anything wrong at such an early age, it is such a shame that your friend is thinking the way she is as the poor baby is going to get very insecure being going from pillar to post...littleowl

Hi ronaldinu~I am of course very familiar with this story. Unfortunately, I don't think that this situation is going to change one bit! This woman has it in her mind that the child is "damaged" and has it in her head that she is not going to interact with her as a mother should. All that she is doing is hurting the child. What I can't understand is why the social worker doesn't see this. They are only prolonging the inevitable and making this poor child suffer by keeping her with this woman. If this were the case and it was here in the US the child would have been taken out of this home and the woman would have been charged with neglect. I don't understand why she just doesn't give up the child now. She doesn't want her, isn't going to change, won't even try to bond with her no matter what. She is an unfit mother! I so wish you and your wife would take the child and give her a proper loving home. Someone needs to report her to the social worker and get this child away from this mother! Can't you convince the father that his wife is sick and is harming the little girl by treating her this way? That little girl will never talk if she stays with this family!

How long has it been now? She is still complaining about the child. You know what I think something is wrong with your friend, everyone knows what is wrong with the child by now. Why do they let her keep this child under these conditions? Why do the social workers keep going alone with her whinning and complaining? The child needs love and understanding and your friends sounds as if she is not capable of giving her this. What ever come of you and your family adopting the child?

I would have wanted to know if there was any problems. I think had she known that the girl needs an operation, then she would not have accepted her. But perhaps she would have on seeing her. I doubt that she is the latter. There are some women who fall in love with every child, and some are very specific in that they cannot love a child unless she meets a certain criteria. I do hope that the little girl can be adopted out by another family. I do not think time will heal the breech in this case.

I guess your fren really wants the child.. If not, she would have given it away long time ago, instead of spending money on her, and waiting for her to speak.. I think, your colleague just wants someone to speak her mind, and vent her frustration on.. But she still loves her child, no matter what.. As u know, raising a child is not easy, and especially when it's not a normal child.. So, everybody ought to give both the mother and child time..

once you have the basic wish is taking the girl waiting understanding is not easy to have maybe the confidence necessary for adoption is a basic love to have a baby show for the talking....have a little patience with the adoption what more can i say that i do not have kids but its good to know and understand its basic necesidades in....

god this really tugs at my heart.. that poor girl.. at least the social worker isnt just jumping and pulling her out and disrupting the girls life although i wonder if that would be better than waiting it out!??

I really do hope your friend gives it time ... this little girl is starting to talk, and will get a lot better and more confident as time goes on. However, it sounds as if your friend has not bonded with the child, which is very sad. Even though she may have intially felt 'tricked', surely by now she would feel love for this little girl? If not, maybe it would be better for the child to be with a family who could love her unconditionally - whether she ends up speaking or not.

Hi ronaldinu I still think you should adopt this child as soon as possible. I feel no different about this situation as I did before. There is nothing wrong with this child, so she can't hear that well but that is improving but it is not a huge disability and she will learn to cope with it but it will not help her much if the mother isn't that close to her. I think I would feel a bit differently if the child was severly handicapped or something because that is a lot of commitment and patience for someone.

No matter what happened, the girl is incalpubal. She is so litter, also thing happened on her is not her mistake. What Ronaldinu said is right, it is a question of time. Giving her some time, everything will go well. A baby arond me, when he was three years old he can not say anything, but at his 4 years birthday, suddenly he can say mother and father!

yah i also pray for the samething that ur frnd gets the problem solved

Feeling like crying... Some people are just not cut out to be parents. There are no guarantees in life and your friend's expectation that the child would be perfect is unrealistic. The child's speech will improve now that her hearing is better. But what about your friend's attitude? Sad.