would you tell if you knew your sister was having an affair.

It kind of sounds to me that you may have a bit of a crush on your brother-in-law...Deny it if you want, but think long and hard about this, for I believe that if you be completely honest with yourself that you'll see that your feelings for him aren't entirely platonic. But in relation to your question, you really just have to consider where your loyalties lie. After all, your sister is your family, and for most people, their loyalties lie within their family before anyone else; however, I understand that for some people that may not be the case, and there's nothing wrong with that. If you were to tell your brother-in-law that your sister cheated on him though, then you also have to be ready to live with the consequences... For one, your sister would completely & utterly resent you for this. If you and your sister aren't getting along, it can cause awkward family events and holidays, and may even cause your family to pick and choose sides, creating a wall of separation between your family. You don't want to be the cause of the split between your family, do you? And then there's always the chance that he won't believe you. If he's as smitten with your sister as he sounds, then he's probably not going to want to hear anything negative like that. It's not because he thinks you're a liar, but more that he doesn't want to believe what you're saying. If he did believe you though, then there's a high chance that he & your sister would split up, which may be what you're after if you do, in fact, like him more than you're letting on. However, if he was married to your sister then chances are that he's probably not going to jump into a relationship any time soon, and especially not with his ex-wife's sister. Before doing anything drastic, you also have to take your reasoning for wanting to tell him about her extracurricular activities into consideration. Let's be honest here, are you really telling him because he you think he deserves to know, or are you secretly trying to sabotage your sister's marriage because you have a thing for her husband? What your sister did was wrong and treacherous, there's no question there, but if you do care about your brother-in-law, and it seems to me that you do care about him a lot, then the last thing you'd ever want to do is hurt him. Disclosing this kind of information will be sure to hurt him, and if he's just coming home from Iraq then you definitely don't want to drop that bomb on him right away. He's had enough of that over seas, give the guy a break. He'll more than likely find out anyway, without you having to tell him. I know your sister was in the wrong by cheating, but it's not your place to tell on her. And if a few people know about her adultery, chances are that her cheating ways will eventually be exposed anyway without your aid. If I were you, I'd stay mum. Let karma do the dirty work.;)

Now this is just my opinion; how I would handle it is confront my sister, if she chose to deny it ever happened I would honor her word and keep my mouth shut (even if my head and heart kept telling me she did it). If she admitted that it happened I would kindly discuss the consequences with her , let her know she is my sister and I still love her and encourage her to clean it up... but I would still feel it was not my place to say anything to anyone else in the family especially her husband...That is just how I feel I would want to handle it.

Do not say a word. It will cause problems with the whole family. What your sister did was wrong and if your bil is not happy about her not wanting to have a child then it is up to him to take action. Don't condemn your sister either, you really don't know what was going on in her head either. Your best bet is to zip the lip.

stay out of it what your sister do in the dark will come to the light.he will find out but don,t you tell him you love them both and for you to be tell is not your business what if he hurt your sister it would be your fault because what you have told so don,t do it thats my advice to you.sometime you don,t miss what you have until its gone.

I understand why you would want to say something, but you shouldn't. It's best to let her tell him it's really their business sooner or later he will find out and it's best of he finds out by her telling him. If you tell she could just say your lying. She will deny it she has to tell him herself she got herself into it and she is the only way to get herself out of it.

Hiyah Louprincess112, It must be hard for you to watch what your sister is doing...The brother in law sounds too good to be true!... I think you should stay right out of it...Your sister will learn her lesson, cos' it is a known fact, that your past will come back and bite you in the butt, when you least expect it. Also you don't exactly know what goes on behind closed doors...You don't live with her husband/partner 24/7...Where she does... If she is doing what she is doing, then she must not love your brother in law as much as she claims. Do yourself a favour and steer clear of it...That way...When she needs you cos' he has woken up to her...You won't be blamed...And believe me when I say...She will look for someone to blame other than herself. Happy MyLotting and Merry Christmas.

I learnt a long time ago it is best to keep your mouth shut when it comes to other peoples choices in life...we are all given a life to live and we should only live that one and leave others to live theirs, I know it puts you in an awkward situation but no-one knows what really goes on behind closed doors and you don't really know maybe what he was up to so it is best to stay out of it, you can say your piece to your sister..once...then let it go or you may very well lose your sister which would be very sad...

I think what happens between your sister and her husband is their business, but if you know for a fact that she IS having an affair, you should share your thoughts with her has her sister. Blood is supposed to be thicker than water and by you sharing your thoughts with your sister, it may help. If you go to your brother-in-law, you risk hurting more people and possibly ruining a relationship you shouldn't be involved in the first place. People make mistakes often and if it was just a short fling, perhaps she won't do it again. One thing is for sure, what goes around, comes around. If you sister continues her ways, she will definitely get hers in the end. Cheers, Stan

My husband had a similar situation - he did not tell his brother in law - he spoke with his sister instead. She finally decided to come clean and told her husband herself.

I would completely stay out of their personal issues. It won't be good for anyone if you start talking. If their marriage is wrong, they'll figure it out. If you tell him what you know, you will definitely put a bad spin on your relationship with your sister. If she denies it and he believes her, well, you'll alienate both of them. If he believes it and breaks up with her, then where will that leave you? It will leave you without your sister and this man that you think the world of in your life. It will also leave your nephew without a father figure. As for her not wanting a baby....that is a personal choice between the two of them. I would strongly urge you to just keep out of this one entirely. Also since your sister is denying the affairs, is it possible that you could be wrong?

I wouldn't say anything.. to anyone! these things have a way of blowing up in your face! honestly! the highway to hell is indeed paved with good intentions! be there for them, listen (if need be) comfort(if asked) but by all means... stay quiet!

This is very much your sister's life. If the affair is over, I suppose it's up to her, whether she would want to confess. I understand that you feel your brother-in-law has a raw deal; but it's best not to interfere in a couple's affairs; unless they want your intervention. Sometimes there are things we may not know about, that make them behave as such.

I think you should try to convince your sister to tell her husband.

Why don't you try to talk to your sister first and see if anything can get resolved. I'm not sure if would do any good to tell your brother husband aside from cause pain and hurt, sometime better things are left unsaid--even if it's not always right. Ugh this is a tough situation. I'm sorry I dont have much help for you.

No I don't get in other people affairs. You can get the person in a lot of trouble and you can also get yourself in some trouble just leave it alone,What is in the dark will come to light, Have you ever heard of that msaying it is true! Happy Holidays!

if i were in your shoes, i'd talk to my sister about it.. you know, give her advices that will enlighten her mind.. i don't want to be the first person to tell my brother in law as it's not my business.. i'd ask my sister to stop her affair with other guy..

How do you know he is not already aware of the affair? Personally I would talk to the sister and tell her you are uncomfortable about concealing the affair and that the husband will find out about sooner or later so she had better do the right thing and tell before you or someone else inadvertently let it slip in an unguarded moment. The best predictor of future behavior is past behaviour so next time he gets deployed she will be at it again. This whole thing has to end badly. You might lose your sister if you tell the BIL and lose the BIL if you do not and keep the lie. (And I say lie because you find you have to do that so you do not blurt out the truth.) They might end up divorcing and you may lose them both. I do not envy your position, your sister should not have put you in that position.